The 3 Most Important Things I Learned About Being A Mom

posted by Andrea | 11/29/2011

Due to the recent birth of our beautiful baby girl, Nora Faith, I’ve rounded up an All-Star list of moms who effortlessly seem to manage work, home, family, life, and everything in between! You can read all their words of motherly wisdom here, as well as how they manage to “do it all” while still living a life they love.

I’ll be sharing my own thoughts and baby updates soon enough, but right now, I’m simply soaking up their trusted advice while cuddling with my new baby girl! 


The following is written by Sarah from Clover Lane:

When I set out to write a post about having a baby I thought of all the important advice I could give ranging from diapers to breastfeeding to managing on little sleep.  I thought of all the neat products I used — which I am sure are outdated now!  I could fill up pages with everything I’ve learned over the last 17 years. 

I’ve had five children.

The first born, a surprise when I was 24, ten months after our honeymoon! The fifth born, heartbreakingly tried for when I was 39, and panicked from the potential loss of fertility I never before contemplated.  All my five babies had very different personalities and temperaments - ranging from easy- peasy to 16 hour-every-day-colic.  I‘ve read dozens of books on all sorts of different parenting practices, and asked and listened to advice from many friends and relatives.

And no doubt, I’m not the only one who is filled with advice.  There are many mothers out there who did things different than the way I did — and it worked wonderfully for them, their babies, and their families.  They made different choices, bought different products, chose different birth plans, had different schedules, and different views on everything from feeding to diaper changing to sleeping.

No one of us is right or wrong, and that’s good because we all had different babies!

It took me a long time to have the confidence and the experience to realize this, but these are the three most important concepts I have learned about being a mother:

1. No one will know and love your baby MORE than you do.

Not the nurses at the hospital, not your mother, not your best friend, and certainly not me.  Trust your instincts!  Read, ask, learn… but then put it all aside and listen to your mothering heart.  You and your baby… you are connected by that heart forever and no one else can claim the same.

2. Walk bravely the path of internal and maternal growth and change.

Form a close bond with your baby by opening yourself up to the incredibly intense, almost scary emotion of mother love. Let go of the control, let the world fall aside from the moment you are handed your baby and then for the days and weeks afterwards.

I think many times today we try to compartmentalize all our duties and priorities we have as women, and sometimes I see the same being done to the role of mother.  We are afraid to let it go because we feel we have to be the ones running things, keeping all the balls juggling, staying on top of the game of life.  We have to keep up with what it means to a woman in today’s world, which in essence means doing a dozen things really well, while raising our tiny innocent dependent babies on the side.

When they place that baby in your arms, let the world rearrange itself. Let YOUR world rearrange itself.

This is scary!  What you thought was so important might plummet to the bottom of the list.  Let it happen, and don’t fear change.  You will become someone new — the birth of your baby is also a rebirth for you.  Be open to that.  Often I hear the lament about motherhood “I feel like I lost myself.”  Yes, you will become someone new and different, a new better version of your old self if you are willing to change.  You will become selfless and generous.  You will become confident and secure.  You will become tender and patient.   I will bet that some of things you will lose won’t even compare with the worth of these qualities that you will gain if you let yourself.

3. Remember the little things, but don’t forget the big picture.

Here is what a baby NEEDS:  a mother, a father, food (you come with a free supply, isn’t that cool?), soft clothes, blankets, and diapers.

I can’t believe how much stuff is now considered necessary.  Sure, some of it is convenient but most of it just seems to be invented for the pure sake of making our lives easier, making the pace of our lives faster so we can do all that multi-tasking.  A mother could get away with not touching her baby all day!  There are swings to rock them in, carriers to set them in, back pack to stick them in, gadgets that sing to them, and for goodness sakes, there are strappy things that hold a bottle so you don’t even have to feed them!

Baby’s needs are very simple and not at all materialistic – food, warmth, and tender loving care.  A mother can supply all of those without ever setting foot in a store.

Becoming a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me, and the hardest journey I’ve ever had to walk.  It isn’t easy and I don’t mean to gloss over the hard stuff {leaking breasts, sleepless nights, and never-ending worry.} But one day, when you are paging through photo albums, you will look with wonder at that tiny wrinkled little newborn and wonder where the time has gone.

Enjoy every moment, the good, the bad, the easy, the difficult… and know that you have been given the greatest gift ever — the opportunity to be a mother! 

What is most important thing you learned after becoming a mom/parent?

Sarah is a mom of five, ages 3-17, which means she is giving driving lessons and potty lessons and everything in between, all in a day’s work. She loves babies, clean floors, writing, photography, good books, orderly piles of laundry, and old-fashioned values. She blogs at Clover Lane.
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8 comments

  1. Saradee

    11/29/2011

    I love Sarah’s writing on Clover Lane. She is so wise, and I respect her and admire all her mothering.

    [Reply]

    Janelle Reply:

    Me too Saradee…I absoloutely love Sarah’s blog – Clover Lane..I don’t have kids yet but I’m stowing away all the tid bits I learn from her.

    [Reply]

  2. Kristin Hardwick

    11/29/2011

    Sarah’s words have given so much to her readers, myself especially. Thank you for featuring one of my favorite writers!

    [Reply]

  3. Mandi @ Catholic Newlywed

    11/29/2011

    I’m two days “overdue” with my first baby and I’m so nervous! No, not about labor, about mothering this baby that for some reason God felt I was capable of caring for. Thanks for the advice (I especially need to remember the first one because I know I’m going to be hearing a lot of “advice” these next few months!).

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  4. Lauren@SimplyLKJ

    11/29/2011

    I too love reading Sarah’s blog. As a mom of two older girls (18 and almost 22) I am still learning new things about being a mom every day, and I enjoy Sarah’s insights.

    [Reply]

  5. Lindsay

    11/29/2011

    Thank you so, so much Sarah for this beautifully written post. I am expecting my first and this is just so helpful, so true, so important… I truly think these are the most important things and I will try to remember them when our family expands!!

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  6. KimH

    11/29/2011

    I love the wisdom Sarah shares here.. I agree completely… My natural born babies are 27 & 29 but I still remember the feelings I had… many many of them.. I wouldnt take anytihng in the world for my babies & memores…
    I raised 3 more kiddos from about 3rd grade ages and we’ve all managed to survive.. And so will all of you. Just put one foot in front of the other & do the best you can do.. It’ll be enough!

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  7. Sandy

    05/03/2013

    I’ll be looking for your lovely family the next time I’m at the Pensacola Beach Paviliion.

    [Reply]