The Most Important Gift You Can Give Your Kids

posted by Andrea | 12/10/2011

Due to the recent birth of our beautiful baby girl, Nora Faith, I’ve rounded up an All-Star list of moms who effortlessly seem to manage work, home, family, life, and everything in between! You can read all their words of motherly wisdom here, as well as how they manage to “do it all” while still living a life they love.

I’ll be sharing my own thoughts and baby updates soon enough, but right now, I’m simply soaking up their trusted advice while cuddling with my new baby girl! 


The following is written by Jill from The Diaper Diaries:

source:

When I married my husband, I must admit, I was anxious to add to our family. I have always been a “kid” person and had wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. My husband, on the other hand, had never really spent a ton of time around kids; and although he wanted kids, wasn’t in as much of a hurry.

Looking back I am so grateful for the two years we were married before we had our daughter. I have so many wonderful memories of the time when our family was just the two of us. And I think it set a strong foundation for our marriage.

And then there were three.

I distinctly remember the feelings I had after Lily was born — my heart hadn’t just stretched to make room for HER, but I also loved my husband more deeply than before. Watching him embrace fatherhood and fall in love with his daughter brought out intense feelings in me.

But it’s amazing how time goes on, the dishes piled up, we got low on sleep, had more kids, more responsibilities, more commitments, and those intense feelings began to fade.

And if I am completely honest, those kids can steal bigger and bigger pieces of my heart.

 

Do you know what is the MOST important gift you can give your kids?

It isn’t the top stroller, or the right swaddle method (although that can be a life saver) or even the proper sleep schedule. It is a strong relationship between their mom and dad. And the only way to do that is to do exactly opposite of what is natural to do.

It isn’t hard to put your kids first once you have them. They make it VERY clear when they need something. And if you don’t jump the second they make that clear, they will make it even clearer!

Our husbands are often more subtle. And surely, as grown men, they don’t need us near as much as these children that are helpless without us. But I assure you, your husband needs you too. And he will hopefully be there long after your kids gone.

Take off your mom hat from time to time and put on your wife hat!

Get away without the kids even when they stand by the door and beg you to stay home. Don’t just throw the kids at your husband when he gets home and run (guilty!!), but greet him with a kiss.

The treasures of raising children are truly priceless; but if we are doing it at the cost of our marriage, the whole family loses. So make sure you continue to invest in your marriage and I promise, it will pay dividends far into the future.

When was the last time you wore your “wife hat”?

Jill is the author of The Diaper Diaries. She has been changing diapers for 6+ years as a stay at home mom of three children. She also has a devoted husband who graciously puts up with this little internet hobby. They all probably wish she would exercise a bit more discretion as she shares their life’s ups, downs and in-betweens with anyone willing to read it. You can (almost always) find her on Twitter @DiaperDiaries.
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3 comments

  1. Jennifer M

    12/10/2011

    I think this is one of my favorite guest posts. So often I’m criticized for taking time with just my husband. We have a strong marriage and our kids are happy (ok maybe not when I didn’t let them have that second piece of cake) and well cared for. I think this is such an important thing for couples.

    I also think our kids can benefit from not always being the center of our attention. Yes we care for them, yes we love them, yes we dote on them but at the end of the day being able to start to those them that they can be independent from Mom and Dad is a good thing as well.

    Again, thanks for some great posts.

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  2. Brenda @ a farmgirl's dabbles

    12/10/2011

    Excellent words, Jill! As important as we know it is, it’s so easy to let that slide when the kids seem to take every spare ounce of our energy!

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  3. Justine

    12/11/2011

    Aw I loved this one! Mommies sometimes forget that your children grow up and move on to college and families of their own. Remember your hubby is who you are supposed to grow old with. They can’t be neglected.

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