Although I don’t spend much time on the internet these days, one of my weaknesses is watching home tours on YouTube or Netflix.
I just love a good before/after reveal or a dream home tour — especially if it’s any type of farmhouse. 🥰
I recently watched a tour of a massive home renovation with so many cool (but completely unnecessary) bells and whistles… and I couldn’t help but smirk when the homeowner continued to mention all the things they apparently “couldn’t afford”.
Honestly, you renovated a multi-million dollar mansion and you want me to believe you “can’t afford” to upgrade the finish of your kitchen faucets?
I don’t think so!
Every time I hear a ridiculous statement like that, I’m reminded of my commitment to never say: “we can’t afford that”.
You might think that sounds like a silly commitment — after all, it’s just one little phrase, and certainly, we can’t actually afford to buy EVERYTHING we see or like or want.
Right?
As a quick reminder: I’m self-employed and work very part-time, and my husband is a Christian school teacher… so you can rest assured that we do not have access to unlimited financial resources. 😂
Even still, I’m committed to (almost) never saying “We can’t afford that”.
Here’s why…
Reason #1 = It’s not true.
Think of all the times you blurt out “we can’t afford that” as a response to something you don’t want to spend money on.
Now consider… is it actually true?
- Do you truly not have $20 to go out for lunch with a friend?
- Will your bank account actually be overdrawn if you buy those expensive shoes for your child?
- Do you legitimately not have enough funds for that weekend getaway?
- What about the $3 treat in the grocery checkout lane your kids are begging for?
- Or the pricey new handbag your friend is urging you to buy?
My guess is you actually do have enough money to cover the expenses I listed above.
The real truth is you simply don’t want to use your money in that way — it’s your CHOICE, and you’d rather choose something different.
This is not bad or wrong… simply a choice.
The point I want to make is that you technically CAN afford it… so don’t keep lying to yourself (and the others around you) by saying that you can’t.
Reason #2 = It’s not healthy.
I won’t pretend to know all the fancy technical terms to describe the way our brains are wired… but I’ve read enough books and had enough life experience to know that our brains are extremely powerful organs.
Our brains can be “trained” and “programmed” — either positively or negatively — and negative thinking totally messes with our brains.
“Brains get good at what they do. Negative thoughts create ‘channels’ in your brain. This way of thinking can become your default. If you do a lot of negative thinking, you wire your brain to be good at producing negative thoughts. Your brain also gets good at seeing things to think negatively about.
One of the many byproducts of negative thinking is stress, which then leads to more negative thinking. “
source
So, if we’re constantly thinking or talking about all the things we “can’t afford” (or telling our children we can’t afford certain things) we’re essentially programming our brains with negative thoughts regarding our finances.
These negative thoughts can cause unnecessary stress in our lives… which can then lead to even more negative thinking (often about more than just our finances).
It’s a vicious cycle that isn’t healthy for us or for our family, and it’s not easy to stop.
Reason #3 = It’s not stewardly.
Dave and I are quite frugal, but I honestly don’t think we’re cheap or stingy.
That said, it’s much easier to become stingy when we adopt a scarcity mindset, thinking about all the things we supposedly “can’t afford”.
By changing the way we think and talk about our finances and acknowledging that we have a CHOICE in how we save, spend, or give, we become better stewards of our resources.
We are more likely to save instead of spend when something isn’t really necessary.
We are more likely to enjoy a fun splurge as a special treat instead of grudgingly thinking about how much money we’re “wasting”.
And we are more willing to give generously, especially considering none of “our” money is truly ours to begin with (let that thought sit with you for a bit).
A Few Alternative Responses:
I realize there are some things in life we truly can’t afford – although, thanks to credit cards and bank loans, those things are few and far between (if you’re willing to acquire debt).
For all the things you actually CAN afford but just don’t want to spend money on, here are a few alternative responses:
- That’s not in the budget for us right now.
- It’s just not important enough for me to dole out the cash.
- Maybe another time, but not today.
- Let me think about it for a bit. (leave the time frame open-ended)
- We could purchase that, but then we wouldn’t be able to purchase _________.
- We can buy ________ or _________, but we won’t do both today.
- Let’s put it on your birthday/Christmas list. (especially good for kids)
- That’s not how I’d choose to spend my money right now.
I realize how insignificant it might feel to simply change one statement; however, I’ve noticed so many benefits in my own life over the last 15+ years of refusing to say “We can’t afford that”.
By simply changing the way I phrase things (and the way I think about our financial situation), I feel more empowered, more proactive, more positive, and more motivated.
That attitude and mindset definitely transfer over to our kids too.
My hope is that our children will see money as a tool they can choose to use in many different ways (for good or for evil). That they will feel empowered to make wise financial choices. And that they will see the benefits of giving generously, even when money feels “tight”.
There really is no one “wrong way” to spend or save or give — it depends so much on personal preferences.
However, in my opinion, there is a “wrong way” to talk about our finances… and I, for one, am committed to (almost) never say: “We can’t afford that”.
RELATED READING: Why I almost never say “I don’t have time”.
I’d love to know your thoughts on this too!
Alicia says
Love this post! It is definitely a pet peeve of mine as well, and I have found myself saying this once or twice! My parents actually say this all the time, and it really drives me nuts. I stay at home, my husband works a TON of extra hours and still doesn’t make a fair wage, and then my parents say they can’t afford something when they make at least 4x as much as we do! Plus, we have 2 children and 1 one the way…arg! So yes, it is a pet peeve, and it’s a phrase I need to be more conscious of not using, especially in front of my children.
Christina says
Great article. We’ve been using this language with our kids from the start and just the other day it was used against me when I wanted to stop into a store and routinely check the sales rack my 7 year old reminded me we all have enough clothes.
Really important to add (perhaps write a follow up) about our resources not just being directed toward ourselves. We make room in our time and money for others, this is possibly the best sacrifice to teach our family. We could go out to dinner every week, or we could give that money to a person in need. We could spend our Saturdays on the couch, or we could serve someone in our community.
sarah says
The phrase has always bothered me, too, but I never connected it to sounding defeated. But seeing that verbalized in your post – yes! – That’s one of the reasons why it rubs the wrong way. Another reason is that it is often said in response to choices someone else is making with their money, and, as such, it sounds as as if it is made in judgement. My mother-in-law has perfected that!
Alecia says
I used to trade money for time with my kids. I didn’t view it that way then, but now I do. I started out as a SAHM, but I became so tired of struggling that I went to grad school when my kids were preschool aged. My husband arranged his schedule to be home with them while I took 4 classes a week. Everyone around me supported me, and when I had weak moments and wanted to quit because I missed my kids, they pushed me to go on. I became an elementary teacher, and even though my children were only a few doors down from my classroom, I was not with them. I focused on other children. Can you imagine someone not watering their own garden, so they could water the gardens around them? Well, after just over a year of teaching, I began to be very burdened about homeschooling, and I began to pray. In a short amount of time, our school began to have budget problems to the point that the janitors said they could hardly order toliet paper. During a meeting, teachers were told that class sizes would be increasing, and teachers would be cut. It was only my second year, and I knew I could be one to go. Isaac God using means to bring me back home, although my pride did get hurt. Well, our income dropped by about 60%. I do not always want to cook yet another meal, but I have grown majorly in my cooking and homemaking skills, and I am on my 8th year of homeschooling. We have made so many memories TOGETHER! I do not regret loosing social acceptance, and giving up things to be home with my children. They are both God fearing teenagers, and have blossomed. My son is a civil war buff, and wrote a short book about Little Big Horn (completing researching and deciding to write the book. using many sources, on his own. I never assigned any of it). He is now writing a novel. My daughter writes amazingly clever and quirky books, in her own right. They are not peer dependent! They help take care of our two young children, and show them lots of affection. I can not help but wonder how they would be had I continued in a career, that afforded us a nice cushion for eating out, clothes, toys, trips, etc…They know how to be frugal and the value of a dolllar now. And I stopped trading money for time with my kids. My husband likes me being home, and supports me being a keeper of the home. God did it all. It was a painful process, but He gave me a hope through it for my childrens’ future, and grace for every trial!
Leslie H says
This is excellent! Thanks for sharing it.
Arlene says
Thank you for this post! It is a real eye opener for me!
Robin says
I really enjoyed reading your post. I’ve tried over the years to say to my children ‘we choose to spend our money on other things”. A lot of the time, we legitimately can’t afford it but I did learn to use other words. Often, we tell them we choose to spend our money on their schooling, because for us, Private school is the choice we’ve made and sometimes it comes down to school, or a big vacation, or other things. And they value their schooling (especially the 10th and 8th grader) and so it does make a difference to them.
Thanks for the reminder though. Even I get down sometimes with what I can’t afford…
Lea Lindsay says
Oh my…yes yes yes!!! Eliminating “We can’t afford…” from my vocabulary was something I consciously did when the husband and I went to cash basis buying and shucked our consumer debt. Using the phrase “We’re choosing NOT to spend our money that way right now” served as a reminder that we, not our money, had the power to control our purchasing decisions.
Marie Hickman says
I make my 13 year old math whiz tally our receipts and have a separate bank account into which his allowance goes. It helps him see the value of things. He also has access to the Mint account, which is helpful because he sees our money as a “pie” and can see easily which “slices” are larger than others and why. He is learning how every expense relates to every other. Spending is always a choice. Great post!
Julie says
It took us a long time to get to this point but we eventually changed the way we looked at what we could afford and there were times when we just existed but now we appreciate that we can afford it we just choose not to! As you say very empowering!
Tara says
I totally agree with your article and I too have stopped saying we can’t afford things because we can, we just don’t want to. Plus when we tell our children we can’t afford something we are communicating a scarcity mindset to them instead of teaching them abundance. Jesus was all about abundance (having more than what you need when you need it) Exodus 16: 15-20. Mark 6: 41-44. I have been renewing my mind to have an abundance mentality because scarcity is engrained in our culture.
Trish says
I needed to hear this. I tell my kids we can’t afford this or don’t have time for that all the time. They always argue with me about it since technically we can afford to get the ice cream or take the time for an after dinner walk. I never thought of how changing the wording can impact how it would be accepted by them. Thanks
Jayleen Zotti says
This is something I really need to keep in mind and be conscious of. I’m not sure if I say those words or not but I will catch myself if I do;0) The connotations to both are negative and better to be left out of conversations.
jen says
I know someone who often claims she “can’t afford” to have/do things, and I always think of that when she throws extravagant parties for her kids, constantly updates her house lavishly with new decor, and has a housekeeper. pet peeve indeed!
Lorian says
I found myself constantly telling my son we didn’t have money for things, but then would feel really stressed out. So, instead I allow him to add things to a wish list, or do chores to earn his own money and “split” the cost of toys he really wants, or ask him to choose what he really wants. Sure, I spend money on stuff I don’t really “need” sometimes, but I’ve been trying to become more cognizant so I can finally pay off debt and start saving. I know it’s going to take a lot of adjusting and planning, but it’s a lifestyle choice and I will feel better in the end.
Jane says
During a time of dire financial stress I was in awe at how often people use that phrase. As well as how often people talk about, and complain about, the lack of money. It took me literally NOT having any money to spend before I understood just how much control I had of my spending when I actually had money to spend. I vowed never to complain about money again. Now that I have money, I never complain about not having enough money for all my wants. I am so thankful to have money that I can CHOOSE how to spend.
Anna @ Feminine Adventures says
Found your post from a link on Money Saving Mom and love it! SO, so true!
I realized at the beginning of this past summer that I had hardly read any books all year. It wasn’t because I truly had no time, it was because I was spending it on other things (mostly higher priorities) but also letting things like Facebook sap time that (for me) would be better spent reading the books on my booklist. Once I made my Facebook app harder to access, I suddenly “found” more time to read. 🙂
It’s (mostly) a matter of making wise choices that reflect our priorities.
Carla says
Great article! Thank you for writing it.
My pet peeve is when family members or friends look at what we’ve scrimped and saved for (a bigger house with a bit of acreage) and comment on how nice it must be to afford that. I don’t want to sound ungrateful, because we have been very blessed with a decent, steady income, but I want to shout, “You have no idea how much we gave up for years to get this!” It’s been a long road with living in a tiny house, doing all our own automotive and home repairs, having no entertainment budget and buying at thrift stores. I’d like to point out that these family members and friends have spent quite a bit on those things for years, but I can’t do it without being snide. So, I try to smile and say, “We are very blessed to be able to do this.”
Julie says
i have been struggling a lot lately — comparing my financial situation to others who seem to have more right now. While it is true that we are experiencing a temporary lack of income, we have planned for this, and have enough to pay the bills and get groceries. I am going to take this and use it to change how I look at our financial situation. Thanks!
Amanda says
It’s funny that this came up. Just the other night, my husband and I were having a conversation about buying tickets for an event. They were really going to be more than we wanted to spend, and I’m due w/ baby #2 in about 8wks. We just decided that it “wasn’t the best allocation of our resources” at the moment. Could we swing it? Sure. Would it be the wisest use of our money? Nope.
Christy says
Great post. Language is such an important thing, and I think your distinction between “I can’t afford” and “I choose to spend money on something else” is quite empowering.
Debby says
I love this post. I always have felt this way. And I love the part about how you phrase things to your kids and the message. Thanks for another great post and perspective.
Michelle says
I agree with you completely.
My person pet peeve is those that say “we’re so broke” .. when they clearly are not! A house, two cars, a full fridge, more than enough appropriate clothing for all seasons … who is this broke?!
JJ says
Love this post and your perspective! I’m going to be using it for sure. Whether you are the most generous person alive or the biggest tight-wad, everyone that I know has money for what they want. And if they don’t have the money, they usually find a way to get what they want.
Heather @ My Overflowing Cup says
I remember the day I caught myself saying, “We can’t afford that” to my son. I instantly realized the error of my ways and corrected my statement. I explained to him what you talked about in this post; that we “can” afford it, we just choose not to. I think this is an excellent point because not only is it important that we speak accurately, but it is also more empowering. No one wants to play the victim, and yet we often sound that way with how we use our words. Thanks for the post, Andrea.
Shalee says
I agree. My husband and I are saving to buy a house and we have put a budget together and it’s been hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact that we do indeed have the money to buy what I want but we are choosing not to buy it because we are choosing to do something else with our money. For weeks I cried because I felt deprived but once I made the mind switch it has become a lot easier.
Andrea says
ah yes… and once you get your house, it will be SOOOOOO worth all those little sacrifices now!
Tracey says
I think this is great. All too often growing up my parents would say “we can’t afford it” and while I know now that we were a very middle income family, I always thought we were poor. I can see some of my issues with being disciplined with a budget trace back to this mind-set. If you can teach your kids that money is just a tool it will make things much easier for them in adult-hood.
Andrea says
Thanks Tracey — and yes, I know many people with similar upbringing to you. I personally like feeling empowered and like I have choices — so this mindset has really been a positive thing for me!
Judy says
When my neighbor’s son was young, he noticed that another neighbor had purchased a new Mercedes. He said that they must be rich. I told him that his parents could buy a Mercedes as well, but that wasn’t how they chose to spend their money. A few months ago, I was talking to the same young man, who is now in grad school, with no student debt, courtesy of his parents and their financial choices. I told him that story and he said he didn’t remember the conversation, but understood the point. He is a very fortunate young man and I hope that he has learned well the lessons that his parents, both math professors, have taught him.
Andrea says
That’s a neat story Judy. When you started telling the story, I thought “oh wow, the boy is going to come back to the neighbor and say he remembered that conversation years earlier and now realized that he Dad didn’t drive a nice car so he could later pay for the tuition”
Well, not exactly, but I’m still glad you mentioned it to him!
Summer says
You hit the nail on the head, again! Money is a TOOL! So many, many people worship or fear money and it’s simply a tool. Granted it’s a needed tool, but it is so misused, abused and idolized in this day and age. I feel it’s such a shame, because people are so focused on money, they miss the beautiful wonderful treasures around them!
So many things money can’t buy you… integrity, health, happiness, joy, peace, love, etc. You get the point. And I already got on a soapbox when you did the post about time, so ditto!
Fantastic points and amazing wisdom passed on to your little ones!
Raquel says
I love this post. It ties right into one of my pet-peeves which is judging how someone else choses to spend their money. I love the way you are choosing to speak to your daughter as well. It lets her know that she has the power to make choices on how she spends her money.
Abby says
This phrase: ” …. money and time are just tools and resources we can use in many different ways …”
YES!
I love that phrase, and that mindset. My husband and I have both taken huge pay cuts over the past few years to pursue work that we love and that gives us much more free time. But it has been an adjustment. It’s been incredibly important to emphasize to our kids that it’s a choice, and there are trade-offs. Our older child definitely misses some of the perks of the old way of doing things (parents that were too exhausted to do anything but pick up Chipotle and too guilty to say anything but ‘yes’ to most requests), but both kids are thriving with more of our time and attention, so, well, …
We just aren’t choosing to spend our money on that right now.
Suzanne says
I have always been careful to do this, partly because it’s also how my own parents phrased things. With my own children, I’ve used some of the same phrases you do, along with “people make choices about how they use their money, and we have chosen ________ (not “spend” or “save” but “use”). Yes, they wished they could go to Disney during cold February school vacations like so many of their friends, a backyard pool, and as they got older, an extra car for them to use. It becomes challenging as children age and become more exposed to friends from different homes, values, and “things” – I am hopeful our words will be in their heads as they move forward!
Ana says
I completely agree. Somewhere long ago I heard the phrase, “You can afford almost anything you want. You just can’t afford everything you want.” which reflects your point exactly. We’re trying to instill this attitude in our children as well.
Andrea says
I like that quote you shared Ana! Thanks 🙂
Susan M says
Exactly!
I hear family members say they can’t afford to buy a house, but they easily drop $600+ a month on dining out. And that’s okay by me, if that’s their priority. Maybe renting indefinitely is fine with them as long as they don’t have to cook a lot.
I am the polar opposite of that mindset, and I try to keep in mind that it’s not for me to judge how others spend, I just need to check now and then to be sure I’m staying on track with OUR priorities. I’d have nightmares if I was dropping a mortgage payment on dinners out, but that’s because I am me–and they are not. LOL
And you are right to phrase things carefully around the kids–mine got to an age where one would stand in line at the grocery store and ask for candy, and another would shout, “Don’t ask for that! We can’t afford it!” Meanwhile, the cashier is watching the pounds of chicken, ground beef, jugs of milk, blah, blah, blah go by on the conveyor and probably thinking, “That stingy woman could afford that Snickers bar!” LOL
I have tried to talk to them about money as a study in priorities, but it does not always click until they get a little older. Sometimes, they just process it as a matter of affordability, even though I said things like, “We’re spending that money on vacation.” Or, “That does not fit into my budget this week, but I’ll keep it in mind for later.”
Good post!
Andrea says
WOW! $600 per month out to eat!! I would have to work really REALLY hard to spend that much at restaurants in one month. And like you, I would probably have nightmares about it 🙂
Tara says
Confession: We are one of those families who spends around $600 a month dining out. It used to really bother me as I am the saver and money manager of our family, but after praying about my frustration I came to the realization that it’s (just like you say) a matter of priorities. The funny thing is, I am a stay at home/homeschooling mom and I budget our monthly grocery expenses and cook a lot of whole foods from scratch. I buy our staples in bulk and generally feed us quite frugally.
When we do go out to eat, we usually do so with friends or family and DH almost always covers the bill for everyone. After quietly observing his spending for awhile I noticed that he spends money on literally NOTHING else besides gifts for others (and even this is not much usually). The only personal items he ever uses or wears are purchased by me and worked into our budget.
When I realized the above, I relaxed more. DH works very long hours each week and when he’s off of work, he wants to celebrate and bring people he loves around himself to spend time and fellowship. DH is a dentist and is paid quite well for his time, so I’ve quit worrying about it.
So, now I budget $600 a month for eating out. Sometimes it goes over that if we take a group of people out to eat a few times in one month. So be it. I have created a cushion in our budget for that too. It’s a gift I can give to bless my very extroverted husband to make room in our expenses for these times. I do my best now to just soak it up with him and add to his enjoyment and the rewards of his very long years of school and hours of work. 🙂
So, yeah, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to spend a lot on eating out. In my case I think it’s kind of a blessing. Just how your life, personalities and priorities play out.
Andrea says
Hi Tara, Thanks so much for leaving your comment and sharing your perspective!
I honestly never thought about the fact that a restaurant budget would include taking others out to eat — I guess that’s your restaurant AND entertainment AND gift budgets all mixed together!
I do think that one difference in your situation is that you don’t (or at least I assume you don’t) constantly complain about not being able to afford other things like groceries or clothing or vacations. Also, as I mentioned in the post, it’s all about your mindset. So since you too have shifted your mindset, you have a totally different outlook on the situation — and I think, a much better outlook on it.
I’m certain your husband appreciates you working that expense into your budget!
Tara says
Haha! Yes! It is a rather combined expense category. That’s generally how I cushion the dining out budget…with the gift and entertainment budget. It’s worked out splendidly and saved me much grief.
You’re right. I’m not complaining about not being able to afford other things. Although that is a reality for us too with masses of school loans and a mortgage we’re working on. Our monthly budget is a rather shocking fraction of DH’s paycheck. Still, we have more than we need and try to share it with others.
Marie says
We don’t spend $600 on eating out, but with two teenagers we do spend a lot. It’s not about the food or even about my not feeling like cooking. I figure when we go out, we get the kids to sit down and engage in conversion for a longer period of time than at home. And it’s a budget item! Plus, I like to remind them that when they were little we couldn’t even afford mcdonalds so they better appreciate it 😉
Tara says
I like this…it is a special time with more time to talk, it’s like we get to entertain with a lot less work for me to prepare and cleanup. So really, it’s a gift to all of us. If we couldn’t make room for it in the budget we wouldn’t be eating out. In fact, we’ve gone a month at a time without eating out to pay for a home repair or other unexpected expense. It’s an expendable expense. 🙂
Summer says
I hear this frequently from my children at school, talking about other families who go out to eat every night because they can’t afford to eat at home. Seriously now?!
Then comes winter they don’t have money for boots & coats, IN Michigan! It’s priorities and while we don’t all make the same amount of money, we all get the same 24 hours in a day to spend it wisely. Making smart choices, planning and prioritizing are keys!
Astrid says
I’ve often used the phrase “that’s not in the budget” or something similar when I don’t want to pay for or do something….of course I can “afford” takeout every night or a spa facial at full cost, but that doesn’t mean I want to pay for it. It’s especially useful when talking to someone who earns significantly less who then actually gets mad that I don’t want to do something because of cost (“but you’re a doctor, you have a ton of money!”). No one can argue with a budget. 🙂
Andrea says
Good point — if you say it’s just not in your budget, you are acknowledging the fact that you CAN afford it, you’re just choosing not to. Thanks!
Nancy says
“by simply changing how I phrase my sentence, I personally feel more empowered about how I spend and save.” I love this.
Like Jennifer in her comment, I remember talking with my parents about how we could “afford” to go on vacation. My dad replied that they didn’t smoke or drink, and didn’t go out much, and would rather spend money on a family vacation. Now, I try to simply tell myself “That’s not in our budget right now” and remind my kids “we’re saving for ____”.
Rochelle says
Growing up I saw the sacrifices my parents made. They choose to spend their money sending us to a Christian School. We didn’t have the latest cars, gadgets, etc. But we knew where my parents priorities were. We also saw their love & devotion to us by where they spent their time. My husband & I try to show these same values to our children. I just read your post about being too busy. That phrase is also a pet peeve of mine :). My husband & I often talk about it & he always says “everybody has 24 hours,” just like you said in your post. It bugs me too when people complain about how they have no money, yet they have cable TV, internet, smart phones, etc. If a person has clean water they are more wealthy than most of the world’s population. I think in general, people in America don’t appreciate how truly rich they are.
Andrea says
Yes, me too. My parents did without a lot for us to go to a Christian school — and now, as empty nesters, they are going out to eat and traveling all the time… because they can!
Rhianna says
These are some of my pet peeves, too. I always phrase it like you do because I actually do have the time and money but am choosing not to do X. There are many people out there that don’t have the luxury to say that.
Andrea says
Exactly — it’s (almost) always a choice.
Jennifer says
When I was younger I once asked my dad why most of our friends lived in much bigger houses than we did, with backyard pools and the like. I was wondering whether they were ‘richer’ than we were. My dad said, ‘We don’t have a big house because we choose to spend our money on travel instead.’ (My family liked to travel.)
This answer has stuck with me through the years, and really has shaped how I think about money. It stopped me from wondering ‘are those people richer/poorer than us?’, making unhelpful comparisons, and instead made me think of it in terms of differing priorities. I also realised that for every ‘sacrifice’ of something we didn’t have, we got to enjoy something else we could afford precisely because we saved in some other area. We just enjoyed different things than other people and spent our money accordingly. I think that is SUCH a helpful way of thinking about it!
Andrea says
I like your dad’s answer Jennifer — and the fact that it stuck with you all these years too!
Thanks for sharing!