What happens when your daily roles and your purpose in life rub up against each other a little more than you’d like? Well, you take the summer off to think, and then write a novel of a blog post documenting your journey!
Within two weeks of my 21st birthday, I happily assumed the roles of wife and homeowner — a dream come true for the girl who grew up watching Martha Stewart instead of MTV and preferred Country Home magazine over Seventeen.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve fantasized about living a simple life at home — fixing up an old farmhouse, feeding my family hot breakfasts every morning, and welcoming the kids home after school with a plate of freshly-baked cookies.
I have vivid memories of conversations with a childhood friend about the type of farmhouse I’d have someday; about the 5 children who would fill that farmhouse (3 boys, 2 girls); about all the food I would cook and bake, and the holiday parties I would host.
Family
Farmhouse
Food
As far back as I can remember, my dream life was centered around a family, a farmhouse, and a whole lot of food.
A dream unfolding…
Almost exactly 10 years ago, a big part of our dream came true when we purchased our fixer-upper farmhouse (December 2010) AND found out we were pregnant with our first child (February 2011).
I had just started this blog a few months prior to buying our farmhouse (July 2010) and I chopped off my long curly hair in favor of a pixie-cut one week before taking the picture below.
I was 25 and starting a new chapter in life.
A new career, a new appearance, a new home, and a soon-to-be new family!
As the days turned into months and eventually years, I said farewell to my twenties and happily embraced the 30-something woman staring at me in the mirror.
These days I see a few wrinkles, an even shorter haircut, and a decade of hard work and faithfulness that resulted in a family, a farmhouse, and so much food!
Some highlights from the last 10 years…
- We completely renovated our farmhouse and the 1-acre property while paying off our mortgage in 7 years.
- I learned how to cook and bake from scratch, and have prepared thousands of meals for family and friends.
- I had 4 children in just over 5 years, potty trained each one, and eventually got them to sleep through the night. #momwin
- I wrote 2,500 blog posts — sharing my passion for simple living with more than 17 million women across the globe.
All while diligently working, day after day, little by little, to simplify my home and life, pursue my passions, and steward our resources.
As a result, our days are fulfilling… not just “full”.
Our lifestyle is simple, yet intentional.
We are laser-focused on our values and we allocate our resources accordingly.
We live at a slower pace than most of our peers, which isn’t always easy (but it’s SO worth it).
Ironically, as I’ve become more passionate about sharing the benefits of simple living online, the balance and intentionality of my life have felt “off”.
I love what I do here online so much… and there’s always more I want to do.
More ideas, more emails, more posts, more social media, more video, more pictures, more projects… more distractions that take me away from other important parts of my life.
Some might say this is the nature of the online world — it’s one of the side effects of running my own business.
And they’re right.
But… one of the perks of running my own business is that I call the shots.
I make the rules.
And I can be pretty bossy when I want to be! 😉
I spent the last 3 months mostly away from the blog and social media.
Many people in my online circles told me it was a risky move… and it was.
But as it turns out, it was also absolutely amazing, refreshing, and just what I needed.
I had a chance to slow down, to think more deeply, and to recount the many blessings that make up my simple, normal, everyday, real life.
Do you know what I realized?
I realized that I’m literally living my dream life. I got the farmhouse, the food, and the family… well, minus that fictitious 3rd son who might not fit into the picture anymore!
I realized that I feel completely content and fulfilled in my role as a wife, mother, and home-manager — I could do this every day for a very long time without growing weary of everything required of me.
I realized that I don’t need more than this — not a successful business, an amazing home renovation, or another to-do crossed off my list. I’m truly happy to be alive and enjoy life at home with my family.
I realized that I still sort of want more than this. Is that selfish? I don’t know.
Yes, my roles as wife, mother, and home manager are satisfying and fulfilling for me — they are what I’ve always dreamed of. But what if my purpose falls beyond that scope?
Have you ever felt this way?
I realized that I was working too much… which is hard for me to admit, but a necessary truth. I was missing things I didn’t want to miss and skipping things I didn’t really want to skip because, while I love my family, my home, and my life, I also really love what I do here online.
I needed to find a better balance.
One of the benefits I hoped to gain from my summer away from the online world was more clarity, more certainty, more conviction that I’m doing the “right thing” (or, on the flipside, that it’s time to pivot).
Unfortunately, I didn’t get it.
In many ways, I feel more cofused now than I did before my break.
Even still, I’ve decided it’s time to share a few thoughts from my time away from the online world.
Without further adieu… welcome to the inside of my summer vacation brain.
Thought #1: Our purpose is more than just our roles and responsibilities.
Each day, I’m amazed by how meaningful and fulfilling it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I always knew I loved being home, but I’ve surprised myself with how much I enjoy this particular ROLE.
That said, I feel a consistent tug… almost a calling of sorts, to help other women experience the life-changing benefits of pursuing a simpler home and life.
I believe that is my PURPOSE (at least for this stage of my life).
I’m certain our roles and purpose change over time — but I feel it’s important (at least for myself) not to confuse our all-consuming yet very fulfilling roles as wives, mothers, and home-managers with our purpose (whatever that might be).
Just so you know… I’m still working on this!
Thought #2: Life is more fun when you do what you love.
I’ve had my share of boring, mind-numbing, horrible jobs over the course of my life… and the fact that I can truly say I do what I LOVE is not something I take for granted.
I love writing. I write every day, only pressing “publish” once in a while. It’s a cathartic outlet — a way for me to process my many, many thoughts without driving Dave bonkers. 🥰
I love pursuing a simpler life and sharing my journey in hopes of encouraging others to realize their ideal version of a simpler life.
I love cooking, baking, painting, decluttering, and rearranging furniture 872 times until I find the way that works the best for our family.
I’m honored to make a living doing what I love — something that doesn’t really even feel like a job.
AND…
I love being a wife, and a mom, and a short-order chef, and a chauffeur, and the room parent for the kids’ classes, and a volunteer at church, and the host of the party, and a Jill-of-all-trades, and the manager of our home…
our farmhouse.
The one we worked to transform for almost a decade… the one I’ve dreamed of filling with family and food for as long as I can remember.
If you aren’t doing something you love, take a step back and reevaluate whether you really must continue doing it. In some cases, your answer will be “yes” and that’s OK. But in many situations, there may be other options you haven’t considered yet.
My advice — it’s worth considering those options!
Thought #3: Our purpose should be pursued in a way that is life-giving and fulfilling for ourselves and our loved ones.
I can not, I WILL NOT, let my family or my home take a back seat to my business… it’s just not an option for me.
Thankfully, I think it is often possible to pursue our passions and purpose while fulfilling our roles and responsibilities… but it’s a tricky process and there’s a fine line that is oh-so-easy to slip past if we’re not careful.
I won’t let myself become the woman who gushes about her simple home life while secretly living in a cluttered mess, with a chaotic schedule, and grumpily handing out fast food to her family each night.
This is certainly not how my life has ever been, but I’ve seen these scenarios play out far too often among fellow online influencers.
It’s a slippery slope and I found myself just a bit closer to the edge than I wanted to be.
I “walk the walk” of the simple life I share online — I always have, and hopefully always will.
I say this with confidence, knowing that if you were a fly on the crooked old walls in our home, you would agree.
If you feel a little uneasy with the path your life/career/family is headed down, let this be your wake-up call to pivot.
It’s not too late!
Thought #4: It’s frustrating when we don’t have the answers.
I’m a planner by nature — it’s in my blood! Some of you can relate.
So… it’s beyond frustrating to feel like I’m in the right place, doing the right thing, but possibly not in the right way… with no clear-cut plan to “fix it”.
I keep telling myself that I just need to tweak a few things… but so far, I haven’t figured out what to tweak to allow all the puzzle pieces to fit.
I’m not one to share my struggles before I have the solution as I never want to be the person who aires her dirty laundry hoping for a little sympathy.
I much prefer to share after I have the “happy ending”…
- after I overcame depression…
- after I lost 60 pounds…
- after I got the 3-year-old to finally sleep through the night…
- after I developed my amazing whole grain bread recipe…
- after I finished the home renovations…
- after I paid off the mortgage…
- after I learned the lesson.
Not during the process. Not while I’m still struggling, learning, and growing.
I share when I can compile my thoughts and my “lesson” into a nice, neat, organized, well-thought-out package.
But that’s not always possible (at least not in my case today).
I have no lesson, no “plan”, no moral of the story, no 5-step process to help you improve your life, no detailed recipe promising a delicious meal, no pretty package… just the real-life thoughts and struggles I’m in the midst of navigating right this very minute.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9
Thought #5: Pursuing your purpose is worthy of a long, hard fight.
If you’ve been reading here today with a touch of anxiety, wondering if this is my blogging farewell, let me assure you it’s NOT.
I don’t have all the answers, my puzzle is still missing a few key pieces, and I haven’t found my yellow brick road just yet. But I’m confident that if this is really what I’m supposed to do with my life, I will make it to the land of Oz… eventually.
I’ve been fighting for balance between pursuing my purpose and fulfilling my roles for almost a year now — some of you saw it more clearly than others and you reached out with encouragement.
Thank you 🥰
The last 10 months have been one experiment after another — searching for a “solution” to the fact that I’m human and simply can’t do 187 things really really well every single day.
It hasn’t been easy.
There were so many days when I wanted to toss my purpose to the curb and relish in my roles as the best breakfast cooker ever, the savviest thrift-shopper extraordinaire, and the cuddliest book buddy.
I’m not cut out for the career world… I don’t want this “stress”!
I’m just a mom — let me just be a mom!
The online world doesn’t need one more simple living blog anyway!
But… I’m a fighter and a doer, and I will continue to fight for a way to pursue the purpose I feel called to without sacrificing my ability to fulfill the roles I feel so passionate about.
I have a few ideas up my sleeve… stay tuned. 😉
Thought #6: Change is hard… even good change.
The past decade has seen more change than any other period in my life… and change is hard for me.
- I learned how to cook, bake, can, freeze, grow, and preserve
- I learned how to give birth and parent multiple infants, toddlers, and children
- I learned how to tackle so many house and yard projects
- I learned how to start, run, and manage a business
- I learned how to build a blog and grow my social media accounts
- I learned how to plan… and also how to step out in faith, even when I don’t have a plan
I learned that even when I think I have something figured out, it changes again because we have another child, enter into a new stage of life, start another project, or the “rules” of blogging and social media change… again!
No matter how often I deal with change, it still takes me a while to find my groove, and it’s still really hard to be “stuck” in the middle without an end in sight.
Can you relate?
When my life changes faster than I like, my solution is always to simplify everything else.
I suppose that’s why my time away from the blog was so necessary. I needed more space to process the changes within my business and the online world, and I couldn’t do that while still working on my business each day.
If you’re in the middle of change (good or not so good) I strongly encourage you to take a step back in a few other areas of your life. Quit the membership, resign from the committee, close your Facebook account, order a pizza for dinner, delete the Apps, say “no”.
Not forever, but for now.
Thought #7: Support is crucial.
Dave knew I needed time and space to mentally process everything this summer — and while I think we were both surprised how much time I needed, he never voiced his frustrations.
He listened to my frustrations, he assured me I’d figure it out eventually, and then he granted me his silent, non-judgemental “permission” to do nothing — to sleep in, to sit and read a book all afternoon, to make a frozen pizza for dinner, to go for a walk by myself.
That man is a true gift.
Similarly, the select few blogging friends I shared my struggles with were a huge source of support for me — especially when the “experts” told me I was doing everything wrong.
And your kind and encouraging emails were a welcome “distraction” throughout the summer. I read every word and responded as often as I could.
If you’re in the middle of a big life change, I encourage you to find that support — even if you need to pay for it in the form of counseling, coaching, or mentorship.
You don’t need to tell the world, you don’t need to air your dirty laundry on every social media outlet, you just need one or two trusted sources who will stick with you no matter what.
So… what now?
Wow — you’re still reading!
The short answer is, “I don’t know exactly.” Boy, do I hate to admit that.
The longer answer is…
- You can expect a new blog post (and email) every Tuesday morning.
- I will often send another email on Thursday or Friday morning — not necessarily in conjunction with a blog post, but always worth opening! (Join my email community here).
- I will not be very social on social media — at least not for a while.
- I’m considering a private Facebook group instead of more public social media. I think it could be an amazingly fun way to connect with those interested in pursuing a simpler home and life without haters or spammers or creepers ruining our fun (not that I’ve had any experience with that.)
- I want to streamline and simplify the ads on my blog — I have some ideas to do this without losing all my income. All in due time, of course!
As for my personal life… there’s a lot of good happening right now!
- I’m the room parent for 2 of the kid’s classes this year
- I have a big yard project I want to tackle yet this fall
- I started a new program to heal my Diastasis Recti (I’ll keep you updated if it works or not)
- I’m in a new Bible Study group (studying 2 Corinthians)
- I’m still fairly involved in different programs at church
- I’m working my way through a pile of new recipes
- I’m decluttering like crazy — our basement is totally empty outside of the freezer, one shelf of canning supplies, and a few cans of paint.
- I started jogging (I need to do something with my early morning hours now that I’m not online as much)
- I have a stack of library books calling my name
- I’m baking a puppy cake for a certain almost-3-year-old later this week!
In Summary:
If you take nothing else away from this very long post, please know this:
- I love this online space and hope to continue showing up here for many years to come.
- I love my life, my family, and our home more.
- The reason I’m so intent on finding a better balance between the two is because of YOU!
It has been a joy and a privilege to get to know many of you on a more personal level over the past 10 years. It’s thrilling to hear when one of my recipes or ideas or tips sparked a positive change in your life. And I’m honored that so many of you have stuck around all these years!
I’m confident that if this is really where I need to be at this point in my life, the “right” balance between my purpose and my roles will be made clear.
And then… I can unleash the mountain of ideas I have for my blog and business!
Those of you in my email community will be the first to know whenever I move forward, pivot, or find that missing puzzle piece (I’m not trying to be exclusive or sneaky, I’m just not sure I want to share every detail publicly on the blog.)
Until then, you can find me back where it all began; pursuing a simpler, more fulfilling life at home…
Making food for my family in our farmhouse!
Please know I am not anxious or nervous or stressed regarding the future of my business. Yes, I’d like answers, but in the meantime, I’m content to live my life and I have plenty to keep me “busy” over here!
That said… if you feel generous, I covet your thoughts, prayers, and support regarding more clarity and direction as I move forward.
Also, just for fun, I’d be honored if you shared a favorite recipe, tip, post, or idea from my website — one that has helped you simplify some aspect of your roles as wife, mother, grandmother, or home manager. 🥰
Cheers to finding fulfillment in our roles while pursuing our purpose!
Meg says
I’ve followed you for many years and have found so much inspiration from you – I’m still very much a clutter bug, but at least I’m still trying!
My favorite recipe from you is the banana oatmeal chocolate chip bars! I’ve made them so many times over the years! Thank you.
I’m 53 with a husband and grown daughter – it took me a long time to be ok with being “just a wife and mom”. This post has made me realize I’ve been frittering away my time on social media & other internet things. I long to lose weight, become strong and fit again, declutter, do home improvements and be more intentional with my time. Your words have inspired me to slow down and take back control of my life. I can do this! THANK YOU!
Andrea says
yes, you’re still trying — good for you! I’m sure you’ve made more progress than you give yourself credit for (it’s just hard to see when it happens so gradually).
And yes, it’s SO easy to “fritter” away tons of time on social media — I realized that for myself about a year ago and I honestly can’t believe how much my life has changed over the past year with almost zero social media now.
I’d highly recommend deleting all social media apps from your phone for 1 week and just see how you feel. You can always easily add them back later if you want, but it will probably be pretty eye-opening.
Also, you might want to have a plan for how you will use up all your extra time (so you don’t revert back to scrolling when you’re bored). Decide to go for a walk, or check out a few books from the library, or have a bunch of food to prep to make some freezer meals. All of those would be good ways to “use your hands and minds” so you don’t get sucked back into social media!
good luck!
Veronica says
Praying for you as you find the right path. You shared a meatball recipe, like 100 years ago, they are the only meatballs my 7 year old has ever had and our whole family loves them! Looking forward to all your future content, at whatever pace you deliver it. ❤
Andrea says
Thanks so much, Veronica!
Glad you are still enjoying the meatballs (they are a favorite around here too!)
Lori says
I enjoy reading your posts and simple tips and advice. I love seeing how you decorate and it has inspired so much and I realized that I was already decorating g in a similar way but I didn’t know what it was! It has helped me to finally have a focus and direction.
Andrea says
Thanks Lori! I’m not sure if I have an actual “style” for decorating — mostly just what I find at thrift stores or antique stores, but I like it for our home! 🙂
Preetha Samuel says
Hi Andrea,
I have been reading your blog since you were pregnant with Nora. I just love your quality content. Now i am in a season of having a newborn and a toddler, your blog posts have become a little retreat for me. Whether it’s one post a day or a week, I look forward to reading your posts. Thank you for being consistent over the years.
Andrea says
wow — thanks for your loyal readership, Preetha! I so appreciate it!
And congrats on your growing family! I’m thrilled to be a small part of your week 🙂
Meghan says
Andrea,
Your blog has just really helped me have the correct mindset when it comes to organizing and getting rid of things. Before your blog, I had such anxiety when tackling a messy drawer or closet. Now I don’t mind those tasks at all. Your blog is one of two that I regularly read. I found you on Facebook, and I’m so thankful I did!
Our family favorites from the blog:
Fluffy slime!!!
Your Bundt cake recipe
Your potato soup
Your bubble cloud experiment.
When I was 33 or 34 I remember feeling similarly to the way you are feeling now. At 40, I’m very content with my balance between roles and purpose. I’m working like crazy right now (I’m a teacher), but God has always provided a way for me to keep fulfilling my purpose by providing great help at home. Just when I was in tears because I felt I had no other option than to take a leave of absence, he provided.
Thinking and praying for you as you navigate this time. It’s such a weird, unsettling feeling, but I am confident that in 5 years, you will be right where you should be, doing exactly what you are meant to do.
Andrea says
Thank you so much, Meghan!
I appreciate your loyal readership and all your encouraging comments! I’m happy to hear from someone just a few years ahead of me — I believe you’re right (at least I’m hopeful you’re right) that I will gain much clarity in the next few years!
Thanks for your support.
Marina says
Hi Andrea!
I’ve been following your blog since before the farmhouse, and despite my life being very different from yours, I’ve found that you are a mentor to me and we do have so much in common. I appreciate your recipes, your advice and particularly your positive and purpose-filled outlook, so thank you, and keep writing!
I’m your age, I have little kids ages 4 and 7 and also live in Michigan! Buuut…
I’m Jewish/secular instead of sharing your faith.
I’m a “career woman” through and through, and my job in the technology field is my passion. I love creating software and my job as a manager allows me to help others have fulfilling careers and grow. I would not be able to fulfill my purpose if I focused solely on my family. My husband and I both had moms and grandmas who had careers (in music, medicine, and tech), so this is a normal and expected part of a woman’s role in our family (and yes, we turned out ok… happy, family-oriented, and fulfilled). I’m saying this only to encourage *you* that having passion and purpose outside of family life is ok, and you can and will still have a wonderful marriage and family if you allow yourself to fulfill it. I still spend plenty of time with the kids, cook lots of meals, see friends, and have a nice home. I likely rely on my “village” (family, childcare/babysitter, cleaning lady etc) more than you do, but that’s a trade-off I make very purposefully and reconsider regularly as life changes.
There’s no one way to do it, and I love reading about your life and learning about how much we have in common despite being different in some ways.
Good luck, and looking forward to reading more!
Andrea says
hello to a fellow Michigander!
Good for you for pursuing a career you love and are so passionate about AND for having a vibrant family life! Believe it or not, both Dave and my moms AND 3 of our grandmas had careers (for a long time, my grandma was actually the breadwinner and she got a lot of flack for it from her community). Both my sisters have amazing careers along with raising their families, as does my sister-in-law… so I’m actually the odd one out over here. 🙂
I guess the point I was trying to make in my post is that I think it’s TOTALLY possible to do both, and do both really well — but I was NOT doing both really well (or at least I was sliding down a slippery slope of not doing both well). I was half-heartedly pursuing my business and giving my family my leftovers… and feeling frustrated with both areas of my life.
My current “roles” in life are to take care of my family and my home… but I’m still super passionate about my “purpose” (which I feel lies outside of caring for my family and my home). I’m still very excited about pursuing my passion and purpose of helping women to simplify their homes and lives — but I don’t want to let that area of my life take away from my roles as wife, mother, and home manager. I can do both, but I need to do both better than I have been for the past year.
Does that clarify?
I definitely think it’s possible to do both if that’s what you want 🙂
Maria says
The best tip that has changed my life for the better has been your advice on meal planning and freezer meals. This alone has helped free up so much time and relieved stress about cooking that it has been truly a game changer. I cook only 2 to 3 times a week now, and actually enjoy cooking and have found so many great recipes that can be doubled up and frozen.
It seem to me that you should simply enjoy your beautiful family and be happy. You are living your dream right now. How many people can say that!
I will pray that God will answer your prayers for guidance and direction and I’m certain that He will in His perfect timing.
Andrea says
Thanks for your encouraging words and your prayers, Maria!
Freezer meals have been a lifesaver for me week after week for as long as I can remember! I’m thrilled you are benefiting from them too!
Carolyn Kopp says
Pancake recipe, lol and oil cleansing method for face, comes to mind. Eventually everyone will pivot away from all this social media, its such a time sucker. Keep happy enjoying your family. I grew up on a farm, I remember those simple days well (I am 53). Five kids in four years….you need some time to process EVERYTHING! Take care.
Andrea says
oh the pancake recipe — we use it at least twice a week! and the oil cleansing is still the way we cleanse our face (10 years later).
And just to clarify, it was FOUR children in 5 years — not 5 in 4 years (that would be crazy without a set of twins in there!)
Thanks for your kind words, Carolyn!
Nina says
Your tip about running the dishwasher every night and staring with it empty the next morning has been life changing for us! Thank you! It was an easy habit to start and now we’ve been able to add other evening and morning habits in conjunction to help our days flow more smoothly!
Andrea says
wow — “life changing” that’s a bold statement for a dishwasher routine 🙂
But, I’ll agree — it has made a HUGE difference for us over the years as well. Pretty soon, you’ll be able to have the kiddos unload it before they go to bed (that’s Nora’s job now!)
Tracie says
I have enjoyed watching your life unfold over the last years first by following your blog then on social media, I have always felt like a kindred spirit as so few truly embrace the call of womanhood the way “we” purpose to and I applaud you for continuing to make that pursuit your primary priority! Praying for you from afar and praising God for your wisdom! Looking forward to what the future holds for you! As an almost empty nester now, I can promise with assurance that what God began in you He will see you completion! And one day, He will deem the time is right for the pursuit of business because today you pursued your highest calling…Family!
Andrea says
Thanks for the encouragement, Tracie!
I know you’re right and I’m confident there will be time for me to move forward with my business goals and dreams eventually!
Jen says
My son and his dorm roommate at college love when I make the breakfast burritos from your recipe! They keep them in their little dorm freezer. They love that they can have a hot breakfast in their room without having to get to the dining hall before their 8 am classes. Best of luck to you as you move forward.
Andrea says
what a great mom — food is definitely the way to a college boy’s heart 🙂
I’m thrilled this recipe has been a hit for your family!
Kylie says
Countless inspiration from you! I truly believe I’ve been changed for the better by following your blog these last 10 years. Started following shortly after I got married in 2010 and can see how you’ve positively shaped my marriage, home managing, motherhood. Things like how to organize my house, recipes and easy/frugal entertaining, thrift shopping and purging, incorporating healthy habits, creating goals, being present with each child during the day, etc. You are my “far-away” mentor (though I’m a fellow Michigander ) and I thank you for that!
Helen says
This post came at just the right time for me so bless you. You are most certainly not alone and so I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
Andrea says
aw, I love when that happens! So happy this timing worked for you, Helen!
Lori Corby says
I’ve been following you since before your farmhouse purchase. I’ve missed your posts and the smiling faces of your children. I too am at a point of pivoting and no answer in sight. And here you are reminding me that it’s OK to not have the answers. Not having a plan is hard for me. This year I too have taken a hard look at what’s important. Where my heart needs to be, what really matters.
Thank you & hugs from Southern California
Andrea says
Thank you Lori — it’s definitely OK not to have all the answers (and it’s definitely really hard too!)
I appreciate your loyal readership, your words of encouragement, and simply knowing that I’m not the only mother who feels this way.
I’m confident we’ll both find the best “pivot point” for us and for our families… all in due time!
Nora says
Wow! So smart of you to step back and truly live your priorities! As someone who has followed along since before you bought the farmhouse (has it really been 10 years?!?) it’s been a joy to watch you share your authentic self…thank you! Excited to follow along through this next phase…
Andrea says
Thanks Nora – -and yes, it really has been TEN years in our house (well, 10 years this December!)
I appreciate your encouragement and your loyal readership all these years!
Erica says
I miss you on social media! Even if it’s only 1 post a week, please consider doing both via email and Facebook.
Andrea says
Thanks for the feedback Erica!
I could easily just share my blog post on Facebook each Tuesday — that would only take me 30 seconds to do. Maybe I’ll give it a try 🙂
Darlene Mitchell says
Andrea, What if your not on Facebook? I’ve been reading your post since Nora was born. You are about the only blog I read. I would really, really miss you if you just do Facebook.
Andrea says
Hi Darlene,
Thanks so much for your very loyal long-time readership! I appreciate it so much 🙂
I think you may have misread the post — my decision was actually to scale back on social media to instead focus on the blog. So, that’s good news for you (I think!)
Karen says
I have read every blog post you have ever written. Years ago I sent you a message stating I started asking myself “What would Andrea do” I would love a private Facebook group. Thank you for all your words of wisdom.
Andrea says
Hi Karen! Thanks so much for your super loyal readership — wow, that’s impressive!
I remember your message about “what would Andrea do” — I’m stilling smiling now thinking back to that 🙂
Brenda says
Hang in there, momma. In my experience with my kids (4 boys: 22, 20, 13, 9) you aren’t out of the “baby phase” of needing a lot of attention until they are 7 or 8 years olds! You may not need to wipe their tush anymore, but you need to be involved in most activities. They really can’t do much without some assistance from you (or dad) every 15-30 minutes. I had a moment of clarity last summer when I realized that my kids had been entertaining themselves for a couple hours inside (or outside, away from me) and I was able to focus fully on the gardening task I was working on. It was a game changer! I can plan larger projects for myself now and know that my kids will be fine without me looking over their shoulder checking in every 15 minutes. (I could hear them so I knew they were OK.)
Us moms like to think that once they can walk, talk, dress themselves, etc. that they are all grown up and older, but they still really command a lot of out time and brain power. It is around the age of 7-9 (in my opinion) that they can really start to find what they enjoy and do more of that themselves. My younger 2 would play outside for hours creating pretend towns with their own businesses/currency/etc. And they could problem solve most of their arguments if given enough time. Allowing them the space to do so can be difficult, lol.
Anyhow, the point of this long comment is to say that in a few more years time, it will get a lot easier! Yes, you’ll be busier with different things (sports/clubs/homework for the older ones), but they won’t be as taxing our your personal effort/brain power. For example, even if you have to taxi them around to practice/games, once you’re there you can either drop them off and leave or just open a book and relax.
Also, this doesn’t really kick in until your youngest hit 7-9, lol. So you have a few more years to go!
Andrea says
yeah, yeah, I know you’re right!
Nora (almost 9) is really the only child who I truly have to do very little for on a daily basis. She’s extremely self-sufficient. However, not doing the diapers or strollers or naps anymore is HUUUUUUUGE for me mentally!
Thanks for the encouragement.
Michelle says
Thank you for sharing this! I can relate so much. Since I’ve come out of the baby phase with my kids (and actually had more time to think and sleep) I’ve felt like I can’t figure out my purpose. I love staying home and now homeschooling for our second year- all of that feels right, but I also sense I have a bigger purpose that I can’t figure out. I feel there is more out there for me, maybe especially once my kids are grown. I’ve never even been a person who knows exactly what I want out of life but at this moment staying home, being a mom, and homeschooling are the most important (and also fully consuming of my time). I hope along the way I can keep trying new things and discover my purpose. I have to say that over the years I have learned so much from your blog. I am not naturally organized at all and some simple tips like breakfast on the griddle, making pancake batter the night before, just so many small things that have added up to big changes. I am so grateful for your honest and simple sharing over the years. Your tips always seem achievable and not overwhelming. Thank you!
Andrea says
Thanks Michelle,
In my opinion, homeschooling is almost a full-time job (on top of being a mom, wife, home manager, etc.) I do think we CAN pursue a passion and purpose outside of our jobs and our roles as mothers — but I don’t think we HAVE to.
I totally get that feeling that there’s something else out there waiting for you to find it… but in the meantime, I’m trying my best to be content with where I’m at (which isn’t really all that difficult for me — I suspect it’s not for you either!)
In time, I’m confident you will find that purpose. If only patience were easier! 🙂
Subramaniam K.S. says
Hi Andrea:
I am from India. This is my first comment to you through this blog. This will be a bit lengthy. Kindly be patient and bear it. I was cleaning and organizing my house, which was very frustrating. I have to deal not only with my emotions, also my father’s and mother’s emotions and sentiments to various goods and objects in the house, which they were holding for years and not much in use and they were associating the goods with their parents and relatives. Out of respect for some sentiments of theirs, I left some goods as it is. We Indians are very sentimental about having goods (nonperishable) for generations.
I was searching through the internet about some tips and I got through your blog. Compared to other information and tips, yours’ were simple, down to earth, motivating, progressive, and in smaller chunks of 15 minutes a day. I downloaded and took a printout. I prefer more of a hard copy rather than e-version where ever possible. I am already in your mailing list. I keep referring your thoughts and inputs about daily declutterathon (except for your ideas on food. We/I prefer Indian food).
I will keep commenting appropriately to the content of the blog from my next comment onwards. First and foremost, thank you for being available to all (family, friends, relatives, people in your community and social media, your admirers and commentators of your blog, etc,) on this earth by giving your thoughts and service. May God bless you with good health and long life.
I enjoyed your above article on “fulfilling roles pursuing purpose.” I talked about you to two of my friends here. It gives me some assurance on the uncertainties in life and to go on. I thoroughly enjoyed your above blog and it is adding value to life and thought invoking.
Rest in my next comments and regards,
P.S: [I would prefer you to reply to me by addressing my name as Subbu (shorter version of my name Subramaniam) if you choose to]
Andrea says
Hello Subbu!
when I first read your comment I thought you said you were from “Indiana” and wondered why that was such a big deal (Indiana is only 2 hours from where we live in Michigan!) Then I quickly realized I misread, and that you actually said “INDIA”!
Wow — welcome to the comment section of my blog! It’s a fun place to be 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing a bit of your story and for your words of encouragement. I’m thrilled you have found some of my content useful enough to share with your friends!
Have a good week,
Dianne Marie Berenbrock says
I am almost 70 years old and just married for 50 years. God has lead me to understand that you cannot know what tomorrow will be, so don’t look too far ahead just appreciate today. Your life with 4 children will keep you busy teaching them how to handle each new day . Your responsibly is to God to equip them with his word and to stay strong in their faith. Most of this will not be what you say but what they see you do. Life is not easy some days but God gives us a tomorrows. Know all mothers go through what you are feeling and fearing it is only human to do so. God will take care of you.
Andrea says
Thank you for this wonderful reminder to appreciate what we have right now… today! And to not worry so much about the future. And yes, I suspect most mothers experience these types of feelings at some point in their mothering career!
Barbara says
Hi Andrea,
I tried to think of an idea, recipe, post, etc. from your blog, but it’s late, I’m in bed, and I’m a morning person. My brain and memory have already gone to sleep. BUT I do want to tell you that I thoroughly enjoy your writing and always read whatever you post. I am much older than you, my children are all grown and have given us grandchildren, but they live 1200-1600 miles away from us. In spite of our different ages and roles in life, I feel an affinity to you for two or three reasons.
1. I was a stay at home mom until our youngest was 15, and I absolutely loved it. There was nothing else that I would rather have done.
2. I am a planner and an organizer. I read other women’s suggestions for how to organize something and think, “Doesn’t everybody do that?” Orderliness and organization are my most noticeable qualities. I read of your ideas, and think yes, that’s the way to do it.
3. I am a growing Christian involved in a women’s Bible study of Romans. A former pastor’s wife, my husband and I now call our home an oasis for Christian professionals who need to get away to a place where they can rest, seek direction, receive some coaching regarding problems they are facing, or just have fun. This is a dream come true for me.
I will pray for guidance, insight, and wisdom for the questions and ideas you are considering. I am thrilled to know that you plan to continue to encourage other women to simplify their lives and follow their purpose while fulfilling their roles.
Blessed by your heart,
Barbara
Andrea says
Thanks Barbara!
I appreciate your long-time readership, your words of encouragement, and for sharing a bit of your story with me today!
Also, thanks for your prayers — truly, thank you!
K says
#7. Yes! Yes, he is. With bows on.
My world shattered early this summer, so enormous changes are underway here, too. Ultimately it will be for the better, I hope it starts feeling that way soon.
2 Corinthians. lol.
Andrea says
Sorry to hear about your big life changes (whatever they may be) change is SO hard — especially when it’s bad, sad, or very unexpected.
I’m with you that I hope it will be for the better, and I pray you will feel more settled in these changes sooner than later.
My Bible Study on 2 Corinthians is on “strength for the weary” which I feel is very fitting for this time in our world when so many are SO very weary.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story with me today.
T'Ann Love says
Thank you so very much for sharing. This resonates with me. For years, I was mocked by some, for wanting to be a wife and a mom…without a ‘career’. They couldn’t/wouldn’t understand, usually because they could never see themselves doing it. We continued on, my husband and I, because it was our decision, our choice, and so very important to us. I am so happy for you and your family.
In my humble opinion, we need much more of this in our world today! I know it isn’t possible for everyone, but we, as a society, need to see the value in it more.
I’ve been a follower for quite some time, and will continue to be. Do what works for you and yours. I’m with you all the way!
Andrea says
Thank you, so much!
I think (at least I hope) that the joys of simple motherhood are on the rise again. I know in my own circles of 30ish moms, there are more and more of us quitting our jobs to stay home or work part time from home. It’s encouraging and refreshing in our busy-glorified, stuff-centric culture.
Thanks for your long-time readership and support!