As self-proclaimed introverts, Dave and I are not much for lots of small talk or chit-chat — especially not about mind-numbing topics like the weather or how old our kids are.
Anyone else? 🙋♀️
Yes, we can manage boring small-talk conversations for a while, but with the holiday party season just around the corner, I thought it might be fun to share a list of conversation starters for those of you who would rather not discuss the weather with every new person you encounter!
This list is in no particular order and certainly is not exhaustive of all options. I’d love to have you add a few ideas to my list in the comments below!
Fun Conversation Starters for Adults:
- I love your bag/dress/coat/shoes/accessory! Where did you find it?
- What did you order (food/drink)? Have you had it before? If so, what do you like about it so much?
- How did you end up here (at the event)? Is it your first time here?
- Who else do you know here? How do you know them?
- What non-work projects are you involved in right now?
- What do you do in your spare time?
- Do you have any vacations or weekend trips planned for the next few months?
- What are your favorite holiday traditions?
- What was your first job? (And then be prepared to share your first job)
- What was the first car you drove?
- What’s something you’re really excited or passionate about right now?
- What is the best (or worst) vacation you’ve ever been on?
- What’s your favorite season? Why?
- Are you a night owl or an early bird?
- What would your “perfect weekend” look like?
- What’s one food/drink you couldn’t live without?
- Are you a “book person” or a “movie person”? What’s a favorite book/movie you read/watched lately?
- What’s on your Netflix list right now?
- What’s something in your Amazon cart right now?
- What activities were you involved in through high school or college?
- How did you meet your spouse / significant other?
- What’s the most unexpected thing that ever happened to you?
- What music do you enjoy listening to?
- What’s one of your crazy habits?
- Do you prefer coffee or tea? What is your favorite drink?
Fun Conversation Starters Kids:
If you find yourself at the kids’ table, or if you just need a breather from Crazy Uncle Cal, here are more than 20 conversation-starters for kids!
- What was the funniest part of your day?
- What is one thing you are REALLY good at?
- What new fact did you learn today?
- What subject is the hardest and/or easiest for you?
- What is your favorite thing to do at recess?
- What did you eat for breakfast / lunch / snack today?
- What was the silliest thing that happened at church?
- Do you know any Bible verses or poems? Can you say them to me?
- Did you meet anyone new at the party today? What was their name?
- If you could create a new planet, what would you name it and what would it be like?
- If you could change your name, what would you name yourself? Why?
- If you were given a million dollars, what would you buy?
- If you could create a new color, what would it look like and what would you name it?
- If you could change the rules of the world, what ones would you change? Why?
- If you could invite anyone over to your house, who would it be? Why?
- What’s one place you’d like to travel to one day?
- What’s your biggest dream you wish could come true?
- What’s one gift you hope you get?
- What’s your favorite book / TV show / movie / game?
- What’s your favorite thing about your house / yard / bedroom / classroom / school / church?
- What’s your favorite ice cream flavor / candy?
- What are some of your favorite board games or card games?
Speaking of favorite card games — these Talking Point Conversation Cards are a great investment if you want to encourage deeper conversations!
I realize these won’t all be applicable to every event, party, outing, meeting, or situation — but hopefully they will be helpful to think through the next time you get caught in the middle of a lengthy conversation about the weather, your work, or worse… politics!
A Few More Thoughts:
- Ask open-ended questions (not questions with straight “yes” or “no” answers).
- Avoid about money, religion, and politics.
- Make eye contact.
- Be prepared to answer any of these questions yourself.
- Stay away from overly personal questions if you don’t know the person well.
- Don’t talk with food in your mouth.
- Don’t monopolize the conversation.
- Listen to the person’s response — this will help you gauge what direction the conversation is headed.
- Have a realistic reason to excuse yourself from a conversation you want to leave. 🙂
Nancy says
Ha, someone must have read this list. A lady at a wine and cheese party for the local museum asked me “so what are you really excited about these days?” I said “I am listening to a podcast, ‘the Bible in a year’, wow it really gets me up early so I don’t get behind.” Well…. that was a conversation killer.
Andrea says
haha — well at least you were honest! I’m all for that 🙂
Wendy says
I do not know how your blog ended up on the spam list. It was never intended. Please restore my subscription.
Andrea says
hi Wendy, are you talking about spam email — if so, just open the email and there should be somewhere to check “not spam”.
I’m not familiar with how AOL email addresses work, but in gmail, there’s a place I can manually click to tell gmail it’s not spam.
Other than that, I can not do anything to magically make the emails come to your inbox instead of spam. sorry!
Anna says
For adults it sounds weird but I like to ask where is the weirdest or most interesting places that they’ve traveled, what’s on their bucket list, and what would they like to do when you retire.
For kids I most stick with I spy, 20 questions and taking turns telling or completing a story.
I’m not the greatest at conversations but those usually spark some interesting things to notice about adults and kids without too much trouble. And it helps me remember them and what they’re interested in easier the next time I see them.
Andrea says
love these questions — thanks Anna!
April says
As an introvert, I love this post. Thanks for the suggestions . . . will try some.
J says
Thanks especially for the ones for kids! I always feel weird around my friends’ children. I would like to chat with the school aged ones because I can remember as a child myself liking when adults took a bit of notice of me, but can never quite think what to say. I can remember I would groan a bit internally about the “what grade are you in, oh do you like school “ kind of questions but can never think what to say ! I’ll check this list and try to do better with the kids!
Andrea says
I know — It’s amazing how awkward kids can make adults feel!! Hopefully these questions will help!
Michelle says
For kids: can you hop on one leg? How many times? Can you wiggle your ears? Roll your tongue? Make a silly face? Can you make a church with people with your hands?
Adults – if younger: so how does this online dating work? Is it like ordering a boyfriend?
If older: any advice on what to do with busy little boys?
Andrea says
good questions — thanks for sharing Michelle!
JoAnn C. says
Once, while I was waiting in the Secretary of State office, (the DMV), I asked the person next to me “Can you believe there are so many great people sitting here who were born in November?” People around me started telling me their birth dates, where they were born, their age, etc. It made the wait time slip by fast and it was a lot of fun listening to their stories.
Another question to ask: If money were no object where in the world would you go? A few years ago when asked this question, my niece’s boyfriend answered “Walmart.”
Have a good weekend, Andrea.
Andrea says
What a fun story JoAnn! Thanks for what great questions!
Paulette says
Great ideas! Introvert here, also. I’ll definitely use these suggestions.