When I was pregnant with Nora, many of my friends, family members, and fellow bloggers were also pregnant… and most of them had a ‘birth plan’ detailing exactly how they wanted their birth experience to go.
At the time, I figured that since I’m always a big fan of plans (all plans!) that I too should probably consider creating a birth plan. However, I just couldn’t make myself do it. The fact of the matter was I didn’t want a birth plan.
I know how crazy that must sound coming from a list-making, over-planned person such as myself… but it’s true! Of course I wanted a positive birth experience… and I was very excited and anxious to finally meet our little girl. But I never once felt the need to have a formal (or even informal) ‘birth plan’.
I realize many of you might think I’m crazy, and some of you certainly will not agree with my reasonings — and that’s OK. However since I’ve been asked about my birth plan many times over the past few months (AND since my due date is less than 4 weeks away!!!!!) I figured it was time I shared why I’ve never had a birth plan and why I don’t foresee having any type of written or formalized birth plan with the 3rd baby.
1. I know I don’t have full control over the situation.
For me, a plan is a way of having control over a situation so I know what to expect and what to plan on. When it comes to childbirth, I know that I have very little control in that situation (no matter how much planning I do).
I have no control over when this baby is going to come — it could literally be any day now, or I could be waiting a full month yet (maybe even more!)
I have no control over if the baby will be healthy or not — or if he will need extra care from the hospital.
If something does go wrong, I have very little control over how to remedy the situation and will happily rely on my doctors and nurses to “coach” me through (see #3 below).
2. I don’t feel childbirth requires a lot of “extras”.
I don’t know how to say this without potentially offending someone… but the fact of the matter is, I don’t put a lot of value in all the “fluffy extras” of labor and delivery.
In my eyes, my job is to get to the hospital, try to stay somewhat relaxed, and push my baby out ASAP.
I don’t need special music or candles or massages. I don’t need a pool or a bathtub or bouncing balls or any other contraptions. I don’t need special foods or drinks. I won’t be posting minute-by-minute updates on Facebook or Twitter. I don’t want anyone taking pictures or videos. I certainly don’t need 17 family members watching and/or waiting. And I don’t need a special “push prize” for doing the only thing that I came to the hospital to do… push that baby out.
All I need is a bed, a glass of water, Dave, my doctors and nurses, and maybe a cold washcloth for my head.
3. I fully trust my doctors and nurses to do what’s best for me.
I honestly think there is something very wrong with our society today that so many completely untrained individuals try to “play doctor” by remedying their own health issues instead of just trusting their doctors and nurses to DO THEIR JOBS!
They are highly trained professionals who know what they are doing… and aside from a few nut jobs you see on the news, they really do care (especially the nurses).
My sister is a labor and delivery nurse at the hospital I will be delivering my baby at, and it is simply amazing to see and hear (anonymous) stories about what she does every day. She works 12+ hours in a row and never, ever stops caring about her patients. She has even gone in at 3:00 in the morning (on her day off) to help deliver a baby via a special request from a patient who specifically wanted HER to be the nurse.
I know that’s just one person and one nurse (and I might be slightly biased since she’s my sister) but… I fully trust all my doctors and nurses and feel very confident they will do what’s best for me and for my baby. For this reason, my “birth plan” is to do what they tell me to do, when they tell me to do it, how they tell me to do it… and I’m going to keep doing it until my baby is born!
I wouldn’t try to tell my plumber or my roofers or my car mechanic how to do their jobs… so why should I try to tell my doctors how they should do theirs (especially when there are human lives on the line and they are much more trained than I am).
4. I truly do not care how my babies come into the world.
I know many women are dead set on either using pain meds or not using pain meds. Some women know that they want a c-section while others would literally do anything and everything to avoid that situation.
Some women know they want to have their babies at home, while others would never consider anything but a hospital birth. Some women want a doctor, others want a midwife or a doula or their friend or husband to deliver the baby.
For me… I truly just don’t care!
I will say it would totally freak me out if I ended up having my baby at home or in the car (or anywhere but the hospital) but other than that, I do not care how my baby comes into this world.
Both my previous labors were very quick so I didn’t have time for an epidural… but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t get one this time around if things don’t go as fast or if I feel more pain.
I’d rather not have a c-section (mainly because I’ve heard that recovery is harder), but if my doctors say I need one for any reason at all, I won’t be putting up a fight.
I prefer just staying put in my hospital bed, but if the nurses want me to try something else, go for a walk, take a shower, etc. to get labor moving, I’ll try it.
For me, the fact that I have no set-in-stone plan allows me to stay flexible and try to ‘go with the flow’ since I know I don’t really have full control over the situation in the first place (see #1 above).
Like I mentioned above: My job is to get to the hospital, try to stay somewhat relaxed, and push my baby out ASAP.
I guess that is my version of a super simplified ‘birth plan’ 🙂
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I realize not everyone will agree with this post — and many of you probably think I’m crazy for not having any type of birth plan. However this is what worked for me with the past 2 babies and I’m hoping it works again in another few weeks.
I know many people say things like “as long as they are healthy…” but to be honest, even if he isn’t healthy or has some medical conditions or requires extensive amounts of treatment, he will still be mine and I will still love him with every ounce of my being.
So basically, as long as he ends up alive and outside my body at some point in the near future, I will be happy.
Without getting into too much of a “debate” I’d love to know if you create a formalized birth plan or not — and if your birth plans have helped your labor or not.
Telina says
I’m really out of the loop on the whole having a baby thing, I guess.
In my day, you went to the hospital, did what the doctors and nurses asked you to do. If you wanted to walk, you walked. If you wanted to sit, you sat. If you wanted to lie down, you laid down. Then you placed yourself in their (hopefully) experienced care and trusted in faith.
I do have a question though. What the heck is this “push prize” business? I would assume that the “prize” would be and in my opinion, should be the joy of holding your baby in your arms. Or is that too non-materialistic of me? I don’t say that to offend anyone, that’s just how I see things.
Colleen says
My only “plan” was just DH and I and absolutely NO formula for my babies.
Andrea says
ok… so just to play Devil’s Advocate with you… what would you have done if you could not nurse the baby in the hospital?
My mom did not want to use formula either, but she got an infection when she delivered me and had to be on really strong antibiotics which prevented her from nursing for a week or so. She pumped to keep her supply up, but then had to throw the milk away and feed me formula.
So now, whenever anyone is totally adamant about “NO FORMULA” I always like to pose a “what if” situation to see how they’d respond 🙂
Colleen says
Donor milk. We donated over 8000 ounces with our last two babies, so I know how it works =) Most went to milk banks, but we did two Mom-to-Mom donations as well. And there are VERY few medications that are absolutely a no no for babies to receive via breastmilk, education is key
Andrea says
wow — that’s amazing… 8000 ounces!
Belinda says
I’m in total agreement with you, Andrea! I ended up having c-sections for my two children, which was absolutely fine with me. My priority was the safety of my children and myself.
Anne says
I hope you thank God for your fast labors! I had 41 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing . I wasn’t medicated because I waited too long to feel I needed meds.
I’m assuming Dave and you have never being misdiagnosed before? I don’t trust doctors and nurses 100% because my husband and father were misdiagnosed and both almost died (pulmonary embolism for my husband at 23 (side effect of mono misdiagnosed) and heart attack for my dad). Seven years after my husband’s mono case, I was misdiagnosed and given antibiotics when I absolutely should not have because they could have damaged my liver (I had severe mono with hepatitis that can be a side effect- my husband was my boyfriend at the time and because of his own mono experience asked the doctor who immediately dismissed him and said “mono is just a trend.” Thank God I had an awesome primary care doctor who actually read my urgent care report and had her nurse call me and ask me to come in). Usually a roofer or plumber doesn’t hold your life in his hands either so I don’t think it’s a valid analogy. From these experiences, I have learned that I have to be my own advocate.
That said, I still prefer the safety net of a hospital to a home birth or birth center. I agree that medical providers have a lot more experience and knowledge but that doesn’t mean a mother’s own experience doesn’t matter. The hospital I had my daughter at REQUIRES a birth plan and it is because that hospital philosophy appreciated that childbirth is not an illness but rather is a natural process and that the mother has the right to call the shots (within reason of course). Incidentally that hospital has the lowest c-section rates in the city because they don’t view delivery as a train wreck waiting to happen. At other hospitals I would have been forced to have a C section because of the long labor. We’ve moved to a new area and I’ve researched the hospitals that view birth the way I do even before becoming pregnant or finding a primary care doctor.
Last, I do live in the PNW and we tend to be more counter-cultural and into natural stuff than other parts of the country 🙂 Birth is a personal thing.
Anne says
I want to add that the midwives and nurses who saw me said I was the most polite woman they’d encountered in labor :). I understand everyone makes mistakes and still respect medical professionals but I’ve learned valuable lessons from my life experience.
Andrea says
Yeah, my sister has some crazy stories of really demanding and rude patients… so she always appreciates polite patients as well. I’m glad you can be gracious and realize that no one is perfect!
That said, I will say that as far as I can recall, I don’t believe Dave or I have ever been “misdiagnosed”. However, we did have a heck of a time trying to figure out why Nora cried constantly as a baby. It wasn’t until about 18 months (and lots of research on my part) that a therapist finally diagnosed her as having sensory issues — which the DR never picked up after countless appointments.
It was definitely frustrating that our Dr. couldn’t help us more — but I could tell that she was really trying, and at least she didn’t do anything to hurt the situation.
Sharon says
As a labor and delivery RN I super appreciate your post! You have a great attitude and great expectations. Best wishes!!
Allison says
Hi – My twins were due 5/15/02. Sometime that March, when I was told Baby A was breech I realized that nothing about this birth would go the way I would prefer. I didn’t have a birth plan but knew that I was petrified of surgery and petrified of anesthesia. So what did I end up with on 4/17/02? Yep, general anesthesia and a c section. And 2 daughters. Also, what I now realize was PTSD. Babies in the NICU. I had fevers, in the hospital 9 days. But I also had my girls. My greatest joy.
All the best to you and your family!
Andrea says
wow — what a story! Is PTSD like postpartum depression? Or different?
Briana Smith says
I had a great organized, typed out, specific birth plan for my first baby… and then none of it was possible because she was frank breech, wouldn’t turn and I had to have a c-section. 🙂
For our someday next baby, I’ll probably go in with some ideas of what I would ideally like and a couple things I know will relax me but I’m going to be way more go with the flow!
Linda says
Andrea, I’m happy you made this statement:
I know many people say things like “as long as they are healthy…” but to be honest, even if he isn’t healthy or has some medical conditions or requires extensive amounts of treatment, he will still be mine and I will still love him with every ounce of my being.
After I gave birth to a mentally handicapped daughter 43 years ago, I would always hear expectant mothers say that they didn’t care what sex it was–as long as it was healthy.
When I would hear them say things like this, I would ask myself what they intended to do if the baby wasn’t healthy–give it away?
I totally agree that any normal mother will love that baby who was born with “issues” (whatever they were) as much as she would any other “normal” child.
Andrea says
yeah, I completely understand what people are trying to get at when they say “as long as the baby is healthy” I just try never to say that myself… and depending on the person, I’ll jump in and say something like “actually, even if the baby is not healthy, it will still be mine”
Kelly Hess says
I love your “birth plan”! I made it through 3 labors and deliveries and I never had a birth plan. I agree that my job is to get to the hospital and let the professionals tell me what to do! Good luck I hope you have another easy birth, mine got easier and quicker each time. By third I was actually excited to go the hospital and give birth, weird!
Barb says
Andrea what a refreshing post!
As usual, you’ve hit the nail on the head. Why complicate labor and childbirth? I had 4 babies, and like you, my plan was to make it to the hospital and push the baby out ASAP. My “plan” worked every time. 😀
May God bless you and the baby with a safe labor and delivery.
Laura says
I never had a birth plan for the three children we have or the fourth that will arrive in August.
Each experience was different and the doctors and nurses we had were wonderful in guiding us through any challenge that occurred. I, like you, put my trust in the professionals!!
Great Post!!
Siobhan says
Couldn’t agree more about not having a set plan. I didn’t have any formal plan for my 3rd..just that I didn’t have the best experience with an epidural for my 2nd so I wanted to try and have an all natural child birth with my 3rd. Turned out the 3rd baby came so quickly..almost in the car that I didn’t have time for an epidural.
Gabriela says
I had one just because everyone said you have to have one, but….1. I wasn’t really into it (just like you, I didn’t really care about the options offered) and 2. I had to have a scheduled c-section and didn’t need it anyway.
Andrea says
I love that you admit that the only reason you made a birth plan is because everyone else was pressuring you into having one. I actually almost felt bad that I didn’t have one too — because it seemed like everyone around me had this mile-long list of “dos and don’ts”.
Glad to know there are others like me out there 🙂
Avia says
I feel exactly the same way you do. In fact my answer to those questions was usually something like, “my plan is to get the baby out”. I had wonderful doctors and nurses and fully trusted them to do what was best for me and the babies. In my mind having a birth plan was just asking for frustration because I’ve never heard of anyone who’s birth went as planned. 🙂
Avia says
I just wanted to clarify that there were certain things that were really important to me (immediate skin to skin, immediate breastfeeding, the baby not leaving the room w/out my DH etc.). I found out before delivery that these were all standard practices at the hospital I delivered at. If they hadn’t been, I may have had a more formal plan. Although it would have been more of a “after birth plan”. I also had planned who would be in the delivery room.
Alicia says
I don’t think that’s crazy at all, and i think it’s actually pretty common! I never had a birth plan with all 3 of my boys either. And I had a very similar mindset going into labor and delivery as well. And let me just say, I COMPLETELY agree about society today and people trying to play doctor. It drives me nuts! And to be honest, I personally believe a lot of it comes from the “all natural” trend that’s so prevalent right now…and this is coming from a former all natural enthusiast! I didn’t go to school for 8 plus years to have professional medical training, and I don’t pretend that I did! I’ll leave mine and my family’s diagnosis to the professionals who are not only More educated, but emotionally removed from the situation. I love your blog, it’s so refreshing.
Amy B says
Yay for babies! Hope your delivery goes well!
I had a birth plan with my first and didn’t really need it–my hospital is REALLY baby and mom friendly, and very good about going with whatever you say you would like or wouldn’t like. With my second I didn’t write a plan out 🙂
I’m a nurse, but I’m a cardiac nurse, and not l&d–we call people who think they have crazy conditions “webmd-ers” 🙂 But I think l&d nurses are some of the most caring people out there.
Melinda says
With my first child, I did not have a birth plan and, with my second, I had a birth plan with one directive: do not let my husband have the TV remote. (I kid you not!)
I know everyone has different priorities, but I still remember something my first L&D nurse told me when I said I didn’t have a birth plan. She said, “That’s fine…the longer the birth plan, the faster you end up with a C-section.”
Like you, I put my trust in the experts and let them do their job while I did mine.
Andrea says
ha! I laughed out loud when I read your comment! My deliveries were so quick that Dave never had time to watch TV… but you better believe that I got FULL control over the TV when we were in the recovery room! HGTV all day long 🙂
Leslie H says
Good for you!! I agree with your super-simplified birth plan, and I suspect your labor is the better for it. It helps you relax and not have a bunch of details you’re trying to manage. As well, your expectations of the process are appropriate. It might not be fun, or pleasant, but you’re there to get the job done. Some birth plans are an elaborate attempt to avoid the unavoidable, and just add stress to the situation. That said, everyone has their own way to deal with hard things…and more power to you if you are helped by the details. Just don’t get caught in the feelings of failure if it didn’t go as planned. Baby won’t remember it, or be less bonded if the plan goes awry.
rebecca says
We have 5 munchkins and I truly went with the flow putting my trust in the doctors and nurses. I’ve had 5 c-sections – 1st unplanned, 2nd unsuccesfully tried vbac and the other 3 were planned. My only plan was that I wanted to get out of bed, no catheter as quickly as possible. It wasn’t until our 5th child that I got a nurse and hospital that trusted me to know what I needed. I was able to get out of bed as soon as the anesthesia wore off, catheter out 8 hours after surgery and was up walking the halls. We went home the morning after I delivered with no pain meds because I just wanted to get home and didn’t want to wait to fill the prescription at the pharmacy.
I have to say though I’ve had some HORRIBLE nurses and some REALLY bad anesthesiologists. Based on my experience, I think they’re either really awesome because their job is their passion or they are ok because they view it as a job. Thank you to all of those that pursue their passion!
I also had a nurse that came in on her day off so she could be with me during my c-section. Even though I’d had two before, same doctors, same hospital, it was comforting to have the same nurse that I had had in the past. Also the nurse with our first child stayed through part of the next shift so she could be with me through the delivery. I had never thought a c-section was a possibility and wasn’t prepared, it was reassuring to have the nurse that helped me through labor be there during surgery.
Best of luck with your delivery. I hope it’s quick and your little man comes out pink, healthy and screaming to the world “I’m here!”
sandra says
Okay, I’m in the minority here and had a written birth plan with child #1. I’m using the same birth plan for #2 (due in about 8 weeks). It’s pretty basic and addresses the things that we’d like, if possible (delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin, immediate breastfeeding, etc.). I’d rather have these things written down so we don’t have to worry about it once we get to the hospital.
I see a midwife and have discussed with her our preferences, though we’re flexible depending on circumstances and make that very clear in the birth plan.
Andrea says
yay for baby #2… and for a birth plan that actually went according to plans 🙂
Becky says
Thank you for this post! I have a 5 and a 3 year old and first heard about a “birth plan” when my midwife asked what mine was. I responded “have a baby” (confused by the question) but then of course I began to wonder if it WAS something I was “supposed” to have 🙂 I didn’t end up worrying about it too long. Figured I would roll with whatever came along. (Personally I think it was a spiritual opportunity for me to rely on God)
Bonnie says
Very well written. I agree totally with what you said. Why do people need to make everything so complicated these days?
My first child was born with a heart defect and Down syndrome. My second with autism. You can’t plan for those things. They are a great blessing in my life and bring me so much joy.
Emily says
My first two were born at the hospital. We did not have a birth plan but my husband and I had discussed with each other and our midwives what our desires were for birth. I think a key component is communicating with your provider and, like you said, trusting them to do their jobs and also honor your decisions. When we started having home births we made a “hospital transfer plan” as to what would happen if there was an emergency and we needed to get to the hospital. Obviously, we’re transferring because it’s an emergency so we will do what is needed but we have things in there such as we desire for our midwife and doula to stay with us. I cannot have an epidural (had one with second baby and it did not go well) so we request a spinal or another option.
You have been blessed with quick and efficient births which is wonderful and also why you don’t “need” the extras. Hopefully that is the case again with your next one!
Kristen @ Joyfully Thriving says
You just put into words all the reasons I don’t care for birth plans – especially trusting your doctors and nurses! I LOVED my ob and trusted him completely. When Nathan flipped sunny side up, and wasn’t turning after a couple hours of pushing, my doctor recommended a c-section. I had a brief moment of tears (hormones and all) but then followed his advice because I knew he’d do what was best for me and baby. It was a blessing because it turned out there were some other complications (which we were all unaware of), so they were able to get Nathan out quickly and off to the NICU. Thanks for being brave and bold to share this, Andrea! I’m praying that you have another safe and smooth delivery!
Andrea says
yes, so glad everything ended up going OK for you guys! That must have been so scary at the time!
Kristen @ Joyfully Thriving says
Thanks, Andrea. We are VERY thankful too. I probably should have been more scared, but God must have calmed all those fears for me. I simply trusted all the doctors and nurses (who were absolutely incredible) and focused on taking care of myself and our new baby. If we are blessed to have another one, like you, I’ll keep that flexibility because one never knows what might happen next!
Tamara says
No formal birth plan. Didn’t have one with my first. Second is due in 7 weeks and, despite what my doula says, I’m not wasting time on a birth plan. Sure I’d like to go through a pain med free, no episotomy birth but I’m not risking either of us to get it. If I need a c-section or can’t handle the pain, then we’re having a c-section and getting an epidural. About the only aspect of this I really want is to stay calm.
Jen T says
#2 and #4…amen! I had no idea some of those things even existed…the “push prize” actually made me spit my drink on my keyboard. So thank you for that.
I didn’t really care HOW they got out…as long as they were willing to give me drugs in the process! My kids are now almost 13 and 15…we have a few funny stories about the days they were born, some pictures AFTER they were born, and I adore them even more now than I did then, although I didn’t think it was possible at the time. Life is good.
Andrea says
yeah, I actually had some people who were appalled with Dave for not buying me a “push prize” when Nora was born. He came to me and said he felt bad and I just laughed and said I would have probably been mad if he had “wasted” money on something 🙂
Stephanie says
No written birth plan either. But I usually go fast and want to avoid numb legs. But that plan may change depending on how smoothly things are moving along. One child arrived 15 min after getting to the hospital. The other two, 2.5 hours. One I ended up in the tub because it was the only way I stayed relaxed. After that, I decided that made things too crazy and to just hang out the next time.
Now facing number 4. We shall see what happens.
I do have some things I choose. No stirrups, delayed cord cutting if possible, and immediate holding if possible. That wasn’t always possible with mine and the one time I did, I decided that was the best feeling in the world.
Do I write them down? Nope, but my husband knows and we broadcast it as time goes by.
I also prefer no water breaking unless necessary cause that makes things a whole lot more painful, but again, I am willing to go with the flow.
I think everyone has an idea of what they would like but being flexible is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
I just tell myself women have been doing this for thousands of years, the baby had to come out eventually one way or the other.
Stephanie says
Ps. I also do not like the phrase “a healthy baby is all that matters” because that may not be God’s will for my child, but that child is a precious gift who will be loved no matter what.
Andrea says
Well you “beat me” with the 15 minute birth. I’m usually around 2 hours after getting to the hospital — but seriously, I know how lucky I am!
Anna says
Someone asked me with my first what my birth plan was. I told her it was to show up at the hospital, hopefully get an epidural, and do what the doctor and nurses told me. It worked so well with the first, that’s what I did with my second, and what I plan to so whenever I have a third 😉 I have a fantastic doctor, and have never had anything but great nurses at my hospital. Like you said, they know way more than I do.
Lynn says
Good for you! I never had a birth plan either and my two deliveries went just fine. You’re correct – the doctors and nurses know what they are doing. Can’t wait to see your newest addition.
Lauren says
I have 2 children and I’ve never had a birth plan! I always see midwives and I trust them to do what’s best for me and the baby.
lydia @ frugaldebtfreelife says
I didn’t have birth plan but with my second baby I made it clear I wanted to walk around. I had my babies at two different hospitals and had two different experiences.
I was kind and respectful but I let them know it made me feel better to walk around. I don’t know if it helped with the labor but my contractions felt far less painful when I was up and moving. I also requested to only have one nurse in the room during push time. During my first labor there were nine nurses in there all yelling push and it was just so stressful I just laid in the bed and sobbed.
Jen says
It probably won’t surprise you that I was the SAME WAY! HAHA The only thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to do as much drug-free as possible. This started with our first baby (way back in 1992!) because my we were poor grad students and our insurance didn’t cover epidurals! I survived that natural birth and figured after that, if I did it once, I could do it with the other three. And I did! I have nothing against epidurals or c-sections or anything else that will mean a healthy baby and mom, I just didn’t use/need them.
I am always careful to point out that, like you, I had VERY fast deliveries. So I don’t know that I deserve any awards for “natural childbirth”. Our third and fourth children were delivered within an hour of arriving at the hospital. For both boys, I didn’t even get registered or fully undressed until after they were born! I am quite certain that if I had been facing hours and hours of hard labor, my choice would have been different, insurance or not.
And, like you, I didn’t have music, candles, birthing balls or an audience! We didn’t even tell people we were headed to the hospital until AFTER the baby was here. I didn’t want the pressure of knowing everyone was waiting for me to “perform”. HAHA
Like most things, you have to do what works for YOU! And I so appreciate that you are willing to acknowledge that your choices are just that–YOURS–and they don’t, nor do they need to, apply to anyone else!
Andrea says
nope, not surprised!
And yes, I do think the fast deliveries make a difference. I didn’t really need a plan I guess because I just got there, got situated in my room, tried to wait for the doctors to push, and then went to my recovery room to drink grape juice and chocolate shakes the rest of the day 🙂
Shelly Smith says
I can’t agree more! As the daughter of a Labor and Delivery nurse (35 plus years) and a NICU nurse myself, we used to “joke” that the fastest way to a c-section (or any other “undesirable” route to delivery) was to have a highly detailed birth plan! Not out of any ill will from the hospital staff, but (I believe) from an inflexible spirit and lack of trust in the health professionals’ *years* of experience and training to know what is best in any given situation! I applaud you for your “plan” and for openly sharing it, knowing that you will undoubtedly get some flack for it.
Kim in ID says
Okay, this will make me sound like an old lady (I’m really not), but when I was having children, beginning almost 24 years ago, I had never heard of birth plans. When the contractions were a certain distance apart, I went to the hospital. Well, with my third, I was induced because I was overdue and my dr. was going out of town. For my less traditional friends, they called the midwife at some point.
All of your points are good ones! And just working with what happens in labor is good practice for the actual parenting, because there are many, many aspects of that that aren’t going to go as planned either. 🙂 The only difference is that one probably shouldn’t think of pain meds as a way to get through parenting. Ha ha!
Susie says
I had a birth plan for Tyler, but it was super basic… Just saying I wanted an epidural, skin to skin who in wanted in the room (just my husband and my sister, who’s a photographer, otherwise it would be just my husband), and a mirror (super motivating, will ask for that again). Like you, I trust the doctors and nurses, who are educated to so what’s best for me and and baby.
Andrea says
Yeah, I tried to say I wanted an epidural — I was practically yelling at the nurse saying “when can I get my epidural” but there just wasn’t enough time. So my one super-simple plan didn’t even pan out for me 🙂 Glad you got your epidural though!
Jenny Z says
I always thought people with birth plans were weird. I have had 5 kids and never once had a birth plan. Like you, I simply trusted the doctors and nurses to tell me what to do. and every one of my births was different.
shelly says
I had no plan with my 3 boys. Love this post! Praying for a quick,healthy delivery.
Andrea says
Thanks Shelly!
April Connor says
I also have no birth plan for baby number three! Didn’t have one for number one or two either. My thinking is the same as yours. It’s not something you can really plan. The objective is to get the baby out. Good luck!!
Patty says
As a nurse, I appreciate your point of view. Thanks for this post!
Jennifer ott says
We have 4 kiddos and have never had a formal birth plan. I’ve had one home birth, though, and one in the hallway of the hospital (I guess I was too calm, and the nurse didn’t bother to check to see if I was in labor before telling me to walk to reception). One of mine needed some extra help after birth (she was unusually small for gestational age; 4 pounds 2 ounces at 38 weeks), but I have been overjoyed with all the experiences. It helps that my husband is a nurse! (Although I have had some horrible doctors when in labor and have used a midwife with 3 of them.) I love your perspective on loving your child…no matter what :)!