My due date is 2 weeks away… so of course, it’s time to celebrate the Dekkers transitioning into a family of FIVE!
In case you missed it, I’m giving away over $1500 of prizes for Celebration Week… make sure you enter to win them all!
Although I’ve been super excited to “meet” all my babies and bring them home from the hospital, I’ve been noticing more and more that this is the first time I’ve been super excited… EVEN THOUGH I feel like I actually know what to expect when we get home 🙂
With Nora, I was blissfully naive about what it would be like to bring a newborn baby home. Although I thought I was as prepared as I could be (maybe I was for a first-time parent) I have never, ever felt more insecure, completely overwhelmed, and so unprepared as I did those first few days and weeks at home with Nora.
Yes, we had diapers, wipes, food, clothes, a bed, a super cute nursery, etc. but there were SO many other things that I never even thought of or considered when it came to preparing for a new baby.
I needed to have INFANT medicine, not CHILDREN’S medicine (so obvious now, but not at the time)
Gas drops… I needed them and didn’t even know what they were for weeks and weeks until someone suggested we try them
I didn’t have a baby carrier of any type, and boy would that have come in handy with miss Nora who wanted to be held 24/7
Believe it or not, I didn’t even have a stroller for the first couple of weeks, besides a HUGE bulky double-stroller that came with our car seats. I figured it was more practical to buy a double stroller right away since we were planning to have more kids eventually. What I didn’t realize is that it was a big pain to push a double stroller — and that I would be taking Nora for multiple walks EVERY day to try and get her to stop crying!
As for our car seats, although we had the base installed in our car, it took Dave at least 5 minutes (which seemed like 5 hours) to finally figure out how to clip the car seat into the base as we left the hospital… and yes, Nora was screaming the whole time!
The first time I tried to use a breast pump, I was frantically reading through the manuals and trying to figure everything out. After what seemed like an eternity, I was finally ready to pump… and only AFTER I pumped did I realize I should have washed and sterilized everything. So I tossed out the milk, and cried the whole time I was washing everything.
We didn’t know how to work our monitor properly, and I can remember that first night, we put it on the very loudest setting to make sure we could hear her… Yup, we heard her extremely loud crying no problem that night!
As a “just-delivered-a-baby-naturally” new mom, I never thought about the fact that we basically had no adult pain medicine in the house (I know, what was I thinking?) I rarely ever take medicine of any type, so when the doctor casually told me to alternate Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen every 2 hours for the first couple of days, I remember thinking it was a prescription that I had to fill. I had no idea what Miralax, or Colace, or Dermoplast spray were… and I certainly didn’t have any in my house when I got home from the hospital.
I honestly figured I would bleed for a few days or maybe a week. Never did I realize that I would bleed for many WEEKS.
And absolutely NO part of me could have been prepared for how exhausted I would be — especially as someone who regularly got a solid 8 hours of quality, uninterrupted sleep prior to kids.
Even as I type this, I can almost feel the anxiety coming back, thinking about how overwhelmed and totally unprepared I felt after we brought Nora home.
I thought I would feel more prepared and “ready” to bring Simon home, but the overwhelming waves of anxiety came right back as I buckled him into his car seat to bring him home from the hospital.
How would I take care of TWO kids with Dave gone all day at school?
How can I manage with TWO babies who don’t sleep through the night?
How do I change a boy’s diaper and care for his circumcision? (I was oddly stressed about this for some reason)
And of course, the whole issue of if I would use bottles was weighing on me those first few weeks as I wondered what I would end up doing.
.
Sigh…. I know learning the hard way is the best way for me to learn (and boy did I learn quickly) but I truly feel like things will be SOOOOOO much different the 3rd time around.
And THAT is a great reason to celebrate!
Not only have I done this twice before, I also now have experience with a boy (which sounds silly to say, but it was definitely a little bit of a learning curve growing up with only sisters).
I have the essentials on hand and ready to go.
I have INFANT medicine.
I have my baby carrier and strollers, and I actually know how to install the car seat.
I have all the baby gear, children’s books, and toys we could ever want or need
I know how to use a monitor and a breast pump and bottles and formula… and how to properly wash everything.
I have built-in playmates and a little girl who is super excited to help me “babysit” the new baby.
And maybe most importantly, I am fully stocked with necessities for MYSELF, including a hubby who will be home with me for more than 1 day after bringing our new baby home!
Yes, I know it will still be a huge adjustment, it will still be very trying and tiring and overwhelming at times — but I’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel.
I know that “this too shall pass”.
I realize that “the days are long, but the years are short”.
I’m aware how fast the time passes… and that I should “enjoy every minute”.
However, I also know that I really do not love the infant phase, and it’s OK for me to just smile and nod when old ladies tell me how much I’m going to miss the seemingly horrible newborn period. Maybe I will miss it some day (and honestly, maybe I won’t!) but for now, I’m just going to celebrate the fact that I feel as mentally and physically ready to bring this precious new babe into the world as I ever have with any of my other kids.
Even though we still have a couple projects to cross off our list, even though I truly do not have my bags packed yet, even though my freezer isn’t as stocked as I’d like it to be, and even though we don’t have a 100%-set-in-stone-plan for what we are going to do with Nora and Simon when I’m in the hospital, I FEEL READY.
I know I can do this — and as we’re celebrating tomorrow, I’m ecstatic that I won’t have to do it all by myself because Dave will be home ALL summer to help!
I can not wait to share our big news with you so we can all celebrate!
I can’t wait to see his face and hold him after 9 months of wondering “what will he look like”.
I can’t wait to call our parents from the hospital to tell them “he’s here!”
I can’t wait to tell everyone his name.
I can’t wait for Nora (and Simon) to meet him and obsess over how cute he is.
I can’t wait to not feel so huge 🙂
It could literally be “any day now”… or it could be a few weeks yet. It’s kind of nerve-wracking to wait and wonder, but at the same time, I actually love waiting and wondering and not knowing every specific detail.
Abbey says
“Ready to not feel so huge” 🙂 … Said every pregnant woman ever!
Your memories of the chaos of bringing baby #1 home sound similar to mine, and I’m sure many moms! Maybe you should write a baby book that actually informs those new mamas on what they’re heading into. 😉
Excited for you guys, saying a prayer right now for your labor/delivery and your family’s transition to 5!
Andrea says
Thanks so much Abbey — we really appreciate it!
stephanie says
Thank you for sharing. My DD is 10 days old, and although my mother will be here another week and a half, I feel so overwhelmed sometimes and wonder how I will ever manage on my own. I was so anxious about her waking me up just after I feel asleep tonight (and feeling the big new responsibility of being a mom) that I didn’t sleep and now I am waking her up for a feeding. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.
Andrea says
oh wow– Congrats! 10 days old… that’s rough!
So glad your mom can be there with you — although all the help in the world really can’t help an anxious new mom (yes, I totally know the feeling). It will probably be a hard few weeks and months ahead (maybe longer if you’re like me) but then you’ll realize you have a fun little person to spend your days with and you might even be crazy enough to have another one some day!
One thing I know for sure… you are MOST DEFINITELY NOT ALONE!
Also, you can do this. We’re made to do this!
beth says
Thoughts and prayers are with you Andrea as you welcome another miracle into your family. So excited for you. 🙂
April says
Hi Andrea,
I’m glad you wrote about the anxiety of bringing a new baby home from the hospital. My first baby was born in the fall of the year and was much like Nora. The funny thing was, for several years after she was born, when that time of year would roll around and the “feel” of fall was in the air, I would experience that same feeling of anxiety. At first I wondered where it was coming from and then finally made the connection. Very strange, I know. PS: Infant stage is not my favorite either. I love the age that Simon is at, he is so precious.
Andrea says
Wow, that’s crazy! However, I can totally relate — not to the fall, but to the smell of fresh mulch!
I found out I was (somewhat unexpectedly) pregnant with Simon at the beginning of July and Dave and I were right in the middle of spreading TONS of mulch over our yard. I started to feel really nauseous and sick while I was spreading the mulch so now, every time I smell fresh mulch, I start feeling a little anxious thinking about how shocked and a little scared I was to realize we were having another baby!
Tracey says
Sooo excited for you, Andrea!!!
So glad you’re feeling more ready than ever this time. Reading your list of things from when you brought Nora home brought me right back to my first and how much we’ve learned, too! Parenting is such an adventure!!
Tara says
Oh man. So excited for you. I felt much like this post with the birth of my second. I hate being pregnant. I am sick for the whole time and it literally takes me 3 full years to recover my health after each birth. But I LOVE LOVE LOVE delivery (hey, nearly 9 months of feeling sick makes delivery seem like a breeze) and having a newborn.
My youngest will be three soon. Where did the time go? Not sure I could handle another pregnancy, but the last week or two before delivery through the first month or so of newborn-dom with my son were absolutely blissful for me. I could do that part a lot more times. 😉
I think you’re going to enjoy the newborn phase more than you expect this time around. A mama who feels at peace and prepared has gotta be able to enjoy a tiny baby more. Best wishes for a wonderful and blessed delivery. <3 <3
Sally says
So excited for you! Can’t wait to see pics. Having number 3 is a game changer. 😉
Abby says
So excited for you! Can’t wait to “see” him!
Erin says
I too laughed at the lady’s telling you how much you will miss the newborn phase! I felt exactly the same as you did with my first 3 (who are 12,11 and 9.5 now). However baby #4 (who is 3 now) changed everything. My older children were more helpful, I was more relaxed and really enjoyed every moment! Even the middle of the night feelings, they were the only time it was just me and her. No matter how hard I tried to hold onto that snuggly newborn phase it was gone way too fast! I just found out baby #5 will be here in January and I cannot wait to do it all over again 🙂
Erin says
Oops I meant feedings
Andrea says
wow — congrats on #5! So glad you enjoyed the last baby more — here’s hoping I feel the same way!
Jen says
Yay!! Such happiness in this post! I won’t lie-#3 was a breeze for me. Even though it was my first boy. I enjoyed him so much. And, we thought our family was complete, but after #3 went so well and I felt so good, we decided to have one more (another boy!) 2 years later and that was just as sweet. I love my girls dearly, and I wouldn’t change having them first for anything (I desperately wanted a girl first!) but I was such a more secure and confident mom by the time my boys came along. And it made it more enjoyable for all of us. Praying for a safe delivery and a smooth transition as you add another sweet boy to your family.
Andrea says
Thanks jen!
Jen says
So exciting! Honestly, I don’t love the infant phase, either. I love the infant, and I love parts of it, but as much as I love snuggling other people’s tiny babies…I also love handing them back when they need something. I look fondly back on my infant snuggles…but I don’t “miss” it. I have a twelve-year-old and a (almost) four-year-old. It is so great not to lug a pumpkin seat or eat my meals cold because I’m feeding a baby.
That sounds like I’m being Debbie Downer about newborns. Not at all. I LOVE them. I’m just letting you know that it’s not just you who enjoys the later stages more than the newborn phase. Much of which I don’t even remember because I was so darned tired…
Andrea says
No way, I don’t think you’re being a Debbie Downer at all! I totally understand where you are coming from and can definitely relate 🙂
Siobhan says
So exciting! I felt so much more confident bringing my 3rd home too..and I’m so inspired at all the work you got done the past few months. I laughed when you said that you just nod and smile when everyone tells you you’ll miss the newborn days. I like the newborn phase but the early toddler phase tends to rattle my nerves the most…so far 🙂 Enjoy the end of your pregnancy!