Less stress, less overwhelm, less guilt… more time, more joy, more freedom. These are just a few of the benefits you’ll experience when you give yourself permission to quit a tradition that no longer works for your season of life.
One of my earliest memories of school was an “About Me” poster I made in kindergarten. Alongside my drawings of a ballerina (my 5-year-old career aspirations), Mr. Rogers (my favorite TV show), and the conglomeration of stick figures that represented my family was a giant plate of food.
I couldn’t pick just one favorite food like my more obedient classmates because my favorite “food” was what my family (and so many other Dutch folks) refer to as “Sunday Dinner”.
For those of you who aren’t Dutch, or who didn’t grow up in my family, Sunday Dinner is a delicious meal eaten around noon after church on Sunday — a roast, ham or steak, served with mashed potatoes and gravy, multiple vegetables, applesauce, rolls, a salad of some sort, and dessert.
The entire meal was conveniently explained by the term “Sunday Dinner” — which, for my 5-year-old brain, made it a completely logical choice for a “favorite food”.
My dad made Sunday Dinner EVERY week, and while you might think I’d tire of eating the same thing every single Sunday for 21 years, I can assure you, I did not!
Dave and I continued the Sunday Dinner tradition after we were married. We both looked forward to a large meal every Sunday — sometimes we’d have family over, sometimes we’d go to one of our parents’ homes, but we always had a version of Sunday Dinner each week.
I assumed Sunday Dinner would be a constant in my life forever and ever. But when we started adding children to our family, I realized how rushed and frazzled Sunday mornings can feel with young children… especially dealing with fussy babies whose schedules were all thrown off because they missed their morning naps.
All of a sudden, Sunday Dinner felt like a chore instead of a delight. It was firmly planted at the bottom of my “have to do” list instead of on my much more fun list of “want to dos”.
But the thing is, I didn’t HAVE to make Sunday Dinner… at least not on Sunday afternoons.
After several weeks and way too much thought, I decided to temporarily abandon one of my favorite childhood traditions for the sake of my sanity…
Nine years and four children later, we’ve never looked back!
Our current Sunday lunches now consist of leftovers, sandwiches, or a very simple slow cooker meal I threw together in the morning.
And you know what? No one seems to care!
I regularly make “Sunday Dinner” (a.k.a. roasted meats, potatoes, and veggies) for supper during the week.
And we now have new traditions like family movie night, pool parties, weekly baking marathons, and fun craft/ LEGO days.
Although Sunday Dinners were one of my most favorite traditions for many years of my life, there came a point when it no longer made sense for me, for my family, or for our season of life. Quitting that tradition was extremely freeing!
I still look forward to Sunday afternoons — but not because I love coming home to the smell of beef!
I look forward to Sunday afternoons because they are the quietest, most relaxing, most enjoyable afternoon of our week.
Our electronics are tucked away, our normal weekly to-dos are put on hold for a few hours, cleanup is a breeze after our simple Sunday lunches (especially if we eat outside), and I no longer feel that nagging guilt of trying to force a tradition that doesn’t work for me anymore.
What about you?
Does the thought of quitting one of your current traditions sound wonderfully freeing?
If so, it might be time to evaluate why you’re hanging onto this particular tradition, or if there’s a way to tweak the tradition to make it work better for your current season of life.
If you feel overwhelmed, weighed down, stressed, or even just slightly annoyed by a tradition or routine in your life, I challenge you to take a short break and see if it makes a difference.
Maybe you’ll realize your stress was caused by something different… or maybe you’ll realize that one simple change made a HUGE difference in your daily and weekly life.
If that’s the case, give yourself permission to quit (at least for now). You can always pick it back up again later!
I know how difficult it can be to stop a long-standing tradition (especially a tradition you really enjoy) but, as the popular saying goes, “you CAN have too much of a good thing.”
I’d love to know…
Fran says
I stopped serving dinner on individual platters and bowls now we just serve from the stove….only when company comes I get fancy …so much easier and not millions dishes to wash (I don’t have a dishwasher )
Andrea says
we do this too! I always put everything right from the counter onto people’s plates and then we sit down to eat with no serving platters or pans on the table. I love it!
Depending on the company, I might still serve this way or do buffet style on the counter. Either way — SO many less dishes to wash!
Carol says
We don’t do the big Sunday dinners either but Christmas is celebrated at our home every other year. Each family will bring something for the table. We will cook the potatoes, gravy and turkey with dressing. The others decide amongst themselves what they would like to bring. It works nice because everyone helps with setting up and setting the table, getting the food on the table and cleaning up. On the alternate year they are with their spouses family. We have 4 children, their spouses, 8 grandchildren 2 with spouses and 3 soon to be 4 greatgrandchildren. Without their help we would not be able to do it.
Andrea says
That sounds like a nice arrangement! I’ve been “fighting” to get Christmas at home with our own personal family and then do Christmas with my family and Dave’s family on separate days. This works well for Dave’s family but my family is still holding on tight to Christmas Day. 🙂
Meriel A DeGraaf says
I am sure my daughter thought this would be a hard conversation to have with us. They wanted to have Christmas Day as their own personal family time as well and making their family memories. We totally respected this and came up with a different day. Hopefully your family will listen to your wishes and come up with a different day to celebrate.
Liane says
One thing we’d done since 2003 was an annual camping trip to the nearly NASCAR track with a couple we’d known for a long time. It was a fun event at first. There was a big hospitality tent, free iced bottles of water and a catered lunch for both Sat and Sun. We’d leave home Thursday and return Monday morning and with the exception of those two lunches we would plan and cook all our meals. Then everything changed. They invited an extra single man. It upset the symmetry of our routine. For one thing, we both had the same motorhome and a dinette that sat 4. Adding another person forced us to separate into separate families and the potluck shared meals were a thing of the past. This person did not like what I cooked and so it got uncomfortable and awkward. Plus he wanted to sleep in and we are early risers, so we ended up being just the two of us with them camped a few feet away but separated by an uncrossable barrier. So after three years of this, we just quit going. Considering the cost of the camping and the tickets made the decision easier but actually the straw that broke the camel’s proverbial back was the racetrack took away the hospitality tent, and the shade it provided, the lunch program ended, the relative freedom from food court lines – and the last straw was the beer of all things. They started selling beer in huge cans and we did not care for beer that got warm. So when these friends asked us if we were going, we just said no. Soon after they moved to another state. I do have good memories of these trips but not of the last few times which we full of tension and frustration.
Calliope says
I stopped caring about lent during the week. Typical orthodox families abstain from any meat products on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. That was too much for my sanity and my VERY picky eater son so I just gave up and now I just cook whatever he will eat. I usually add a side dish of veggies for me but I decided early on that this is a lost battle and I moved on. I still get comments from family or friends but I simply don’t care!
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing — this is one I wouldn’t think about but I can see how it has alleviated much unnecessary stress from your home and family life.
Lisa says
One thing I gave up over five years ago was our annual cookie baking day that happened before Christmas. A few friends and sister-in-laws would get together on a Saturday before Christmas. We would each bring a few cookie recipes and the ingredients, bake all day and then split everything up. It used to be fun for me, but the last few years it became quite draining AND I went home with WAY too many sweets to eat and give away . After I bowed out, I haven’t regretted it.
Andrea says
yup, I hear you on this. I used to love doing the cookie exchanges. Now I just bake a bit with the kids and call it good for the season. Maybe someday I’ll start back up again, but not now 🙂
Melissa says
For me it’s been to drop the guilt about not having birthday parties for my 3 kids. I did them for a decade, but now we let the birthday kid choose an experience instead. It’s way less clutter & our kids have loved it!
Andrea says
yes — good for you!
We’ve never done huge parties, but even still, we’ve majorly called back since having 4 kids to party for. We just do something simple with our family and grandparents. The kids are thrilled, I have almost no work and we get fewer “junk gifts” that clutter up our house!
Rebecca Tabb says
This is awesome! It drives me crazy to see people on social media who say things like “I’m trying to spend less time on social media” only to post like 10 times in one day. My theory is they would like to spend less time on it but they’re sort of backed into a corner because their (often very lucrative) livelihood depends on being present on social media constantly or fulfilling contractual obligations to sponsors. It’s very sad to me. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing in intentionally creating this balance for your family. It speaks volumes that you are willing to earn less money (at least I assume) because you actually live what you preach
Andrea says
haha — social media is VERY lucrative because it drives traffic, which then boosts ad revenue! Plus, almost no sponsors will work with you if you don’t agree to blast their links all over facebook, Instagram, and send out 5 emails to your list (hence, I no longer work with sponsors!) LOL
Thanks for your encouragement, Rebecca! It was not an easy decision (from a financial standpoint) to step away from social media but aside from the income, I don’t regret it for 1 second!
Liane says
I think I told you this but after posting some conservative Christian content on Facebook and later on Instagram I was booted off both. I kept Pinterest to save ideas and recipes but my boards are private and I don’t interact with anyone. I dot miss any of that other stuff at all.
Andrea says
oh yes, I remember that! so crazy! I can fully understand what you mean about not missing any of the social media. I also kept Pinterest for recipe and decorating ideas… and I go on Facebook Marketplace occasionally to look for specific things, but I haven’t looked at my Facebook feed in almost a year now!
Candace says
If I’m being honest, I read your content WAY more often now that it’s only once a week! I’m easily overwhelmed by emails and maybe that’s my thing I’m letting go of, opting out of a lot of newsletters, emails and blogs and things I used to read. Personally, your curated content is perfectly timed for me when it does come, and it’s packed with such great ideas and suggestions I enjoy it every time!
Andrea says
oh good — thanks for sharing, Candace!
Tori says
Another great article! I have been missing you lately! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to check on your content. I need to schedule time to read posts from you, since you’re my favorite. I understand the Sunday dinner! My parents always had either roast or turkey dinner in the oven, and if there were any visitors at church, they were invite to our home.
We are now trying to ADD a regular Sunday dinner with guests, in the interest of making Sundays about worship, fellowship, service and rest. Currently, it’s too full of laundry, schoolwork and other chores! So, still a good day of rest, but including that Sunday Dinner! However, we might come home and nap, and then have people over in the late afternoon/evening! Blessings, Tori
Andrea says
Thanks Tori — do you get my emails on Tuesdays? I just send one email out with a link to that week’s post (and extra content — often a video or a “behind-the-scenes” peek into my home and life). I don’t send spam and I rarely ever use email for promotional purposes.
If a weekly email would be a helpful “reminder” for you, you can sign up here 🙂
Beth says
Andrea you always have good thoughts and good things to say. I have to admit though I do miss you sharing some of the practical things you’re doing your week. It’s very inspiring. All the best to you.
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing, Beth — I totally get this!
I love sharing the more practical “this is what I do” posts, but I have gotten out of the habit of that simply because with only one post per week, I have the desire to make it more “meaty”. But I should mix it up a bit more.
I have a really good, REALLY easy recipe coming next week 🙂
Beth says
Yay for great recipes
Andrea says
Hi again — not that it’s a huge deal, but I misspoke about the easy recipe being next week. I’m actually sharing a cleaning post next week and the recipe is in 2 weeks. I didn’t want you to think I was a lier 🙂
Paula says
Having grown up in the same neck of the woods as you, big Sunday dinners were the norm. I too scaled back when the kids arrived. We now typically have breakfast at noon on Sundays. It still requires some kitchen time but less stress on the “large” meal aspect. Sunday evenings are left overs and now that everyone can fend for themselves, that is what they get to do.
Enjoy your “day of rest” I know I do.
Andrea says
Oh I like the breakfast at noon idea! I tried that once with my family (when Dave and I were first married) it was not a hit — they needed their beef and potatoes 🙂
Beth says
We took a break from the big Sunday dinner when we had 4 babies in 4.5 years, we did go to parents about once a month , sometimes just my husband and older kids would go so I could nurse baby and get some down time. Our oldest is now 10 and no more small babies so we are back to Sunday dinner and find it very doable. Frozen meat gets put in crockpot, potatoes peeled, cut and in cold water (husbands job), table set ,all this on Saturday night. We arrive home around 11:30 , dinner is on the table at noon and cleaned up, with dishwasher running by 1:00 if not before . Plenty of time for a nap, we have chips and cheese or granola and yogurt ect in the evening. we still go to parents once a month, and if we have to go away Saturday night (does not happen often) we skip the big dinner and have grilled cheese. It is my favorite meal of the week, and my kids favorite!! with my husbands work schedule it can be difficult to get in a big dinner during the week , so we are happy to be back in the season of Sunday dinner .
Andrea says
yay — so there’s hope we will eventually be able to resurrect Sunday dinners!
Auber says
Growing up, Mom always did a big Christmas dinner and my grandparents would spend the day with us. Even after we were all grown and married with families, Mom continued the tradition, and whoever could make it that year was present. After she passed away, as Christmas approached my now-grown kids said they didn’t want the traditional dinner like they had at Grandma’s because it just wouldn’t be the same. That’s how our Christmas kabob tradition began. I cut up and marinate the steak and chicken the day before, and then my kids and I clean and cut up the veggies on Christmas day. We make our own kabobs and my husband grills, whatever the weather (we have a covered area in case of rain/snow. We have rice and kabobs. . . a delicious meal, and clean up is easy. Later we have dessert, sometimes homemade, sometimes store-bought. Makes for a stress-free day for all!
Andrea says
Sounds like a fun new tradition to start with your own family!
Jenny says
I read a great book- “Coop” by Michael Perry about growing up in the country in Wisconsin, and he mentioned that his large family had a tradition of Sunday night popcorn and apples and maybe “government cheese”. Everyone knew and liked it. His Mom had sort of a night off. Really a good writer and I recommend his books!
When I was a kid in Iowa, Sunday night meant popcorn and milkshakes while watching The Wonderful World of Disney! To us kids, it was s treat, and to Mom, it meant a (partial) break from cooking 3 meals a day. She did not like to cook and it showed. Yeah, we did have the big Sunday dinners oftentimes. And some Sundays, Mom had a meltdown, which I didn’t understand at the time. Kids seem to like simple traditions, not complicated efforts with stressed parents. Maybe when the kids are older, you’ll do it once a month or something. Then it might be fun. Or maybe not. It sounds like you are very good at figuring out what works and why and how, and what options there might be.
Sherry says
I’m a day behind commenting on this post…but I just wanted to add that we reached a point in our family life where we brought “Sunday Dinner” BACK and I couldn’t be happier about it! Many times it is the only day of the week where I have time to even cook a meal much less have everyone in our house (8 of us) sit down together and ENJOY the meal and family time without having to watch the clock for the next event. It is not uncommon for our time around the table to last over an hour! Like you, when I had several young ones needing naps and on different feeding schedules, Sunday dinner was not happening and we often had great family dinners during the week. But, once we reached the point where evening activities and meetings became very prevalent, bringing Sunday dinner back was a joy 🙂
Andrea says
Yes, I can definitely see resurrecting the Sunday Dinner again once the kids are older. I loved the tradition so much growing up, it would be fun to bring it back to our family again — just not when we have SO many other things going on already 🙂
Glad you are enjoying your lovely Sunday Dinners once again!
Jodi says
I live in New England and we always had Sunday dinner growing up. My grandparents lived in the house next to us and we were always together. I loved it!! After I got married and had children, I didn’t carry on the tradition. My son played hockey from the time he was 5 (he’s in college now) and there was either a practice or game (home or away) on Sunday. I do miss the tradition. One tradition I would like to toss is big holiday meals. I host all holidays because I have the largest house, and there are two people, spouse of sibling and their son, that totally don’t appreciate it and all the work that goes into it. They are rude and make it very stressful for me. I would really like everyone to stay home for Holiday dinners but I do it all for my Mom. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
Linda says
I’m with you! Just want something simply don’t want to have to work!
Bonnie'sMama says
I was born in the South as a Mennonite, and Mennonites tend to be goooood cooks. Going to another’s family’s house for Sunday lunch as a small child . . . ah, those are good memories! To this day, homemade strawberry jam brings back those memories–jam on homemade dinner rolls, creamed peas, Southern tea with lemon and way too much sugar, salad from the garden, peanut butter pie.
I would love to be that kind of cook but in ten years of marriage haven’t learned to quite pull that off. I would love to be the lady who sets a beautiful table with candles and flowers and lovely dishes and matching napkins, then fills people up with good meat, mashed potatoes and gravy, and all those other lovely foods. I’m going to challenge myself to figure out a good system for making that happen.
Sometimes it actually works better for me to do spontaneous Sunday lunches, when we invite someone after church then fly home and see what we can scrounge from the fridge. It’s always lots of fun, even if the meals are a little mismatched.
Andrea says
oh homemade jam on rolls — that’s a favorite at our house too! You might be surprised how easy homemade jam really is — you should give it a try sometime. Here’s my simple recipe. https://andreadekker.com/berry-jams-berry-delicious/
Janine says
Love this! I did the same thing when my kids were little–gave up the Sunday dinner tradition–actually at the request of my husband but I sure didn’t argue. Coming home from church and then waiting about an hour and a half to eat was not fun with hungry little ones, a hungry husband, and a stressed me. My growing up Sunday dinners were like yours, but I don’t know how my mom did it.
Amie says
In our home we always have a big Sunday breakfast and dinner. I plan my Sunday breakfasts and all other dinners months in advance on a calendar so it takes the guesswork out of it. Sometimes it’s something grilled and other times it’s something cooked in the crockpot. Whatever it is, we eat off of dishes my husband and I purchased when we were first married. Even if breakfast is cinnamon rolls, it has created a “new” tradition. On Christmas Eve we order take out, drive to look atheist as lights, and pick up the takeout order on our way home. Christmas Day is either leftovers or usually pizza for dinner. I know it’s unconventional but we have taken more simple ideas and made them OUR families new tradition. We even have Saturday night “kids night” dinners which we used to call carpet picnics when our daughter was younger. We would put out a large blanket on the living room floor, watch a kids movie, and eat “kid” food (pizza, chicken nuggets, etc). Our daughter, now a teenager, loves these special traditions and looks forward to each and every one!
PW says
I grew up when mom’s didn’t work so those after church dinners and big Holiday feasts were expected, thought I don’t know how they managed. I guess years of practice because I don’t remember my mom struggling, just always up early to get turkey on or food in the oven so cooked when we came back from church. I do remember she used a pressure cooker a lot.
Then got married moved from Ohio to IL and made constant trips back for family, often leaving after work on Fri. and driving back Sun. dead tired. When my dad died my mom came here, and she would then fly to see my other sister. Come back to me and I would drive her home.
Got remarried and I became the cook as by then our mom’s were too old for the task. 30 people oh my-I worked long hrs so it was very difficult to get to the stores, long lines, then cook and stay up late but my mom was here and loved helping. At one point my mom could not travel and my husband’s mom had passed away so his family wanted traditional holiday here and my mom and family in Ohio.
The weekend b4 I cooked a whole turkey in the crock pot or oven, made mashed taters, dressing, cut everything in half, froze it, so my husband’s family had to just heat in their oven their food, and I drove my frozen portions in the trunk of my car to Ohio, and we added bagged salads and frozen broccoli to heat up and desserts from a bakery. It about killed me but when we sat down to eat in Ohio our entire family was together and when my husband’s family sat down to eat it was marvelous. Finally they all passed away and now my husband and myself (no kids) are always invited out but we prefer to stay in, I now make steak and taters and veggie and salad, easy breezy and we enjoy the day together, go out walking, go to a movie, or get to read or spend time together. I don’t miss the tradition but when we did it all those years it kept the family together.
It took me a while to not feel weepy with the loss of tradition and even family members but I so enjoy the different pace..I now call my sisters and we hang out on the phone and my husband calls his brother, and now I hate to travel on holidays after doing it all those years. When we travel to see our families it is not on a holiday, and not in the dead of winter. When my husband ‘s father passed away a few years ago it took us 6 months to realize that every Sat. at 5 we did not have to be at his place with a cooked dinner in tow, my husband and I sat in the house on Sat. nights for months wondering — well what should we do now? Then we realized we didn’t have to do anything, we could stay home, turn on TV which is rarely on, go to a movie, go out to eat,But change takes time!! I notice the younger generation makes reservations instead of dinner or pick up fully cooked meals to heat up at home. Yeah for them. Most restaurants were not open on the holidays where and when I grew up.
Christy says
I gave up the same thing. I loved those meals and I have wonderful memories of them at my house, but I have never been able handle the stress of it for my family. I have older children now and we still don’t do a big meal. We attend a later service and often walk in the door around noon famished. Waiting for me to finish up the big meal left everyone in a rotten mood…including me because I worked so hard to do a nice meal and no one appreciated it. Everyone is on their own for sunday lunch. Sunday dinner is often pizza or something easy as well. Our big meal comes during the week when I have a little more time and everyone is happier.
Andrea says
we usually do something simple like Pizza on Sunday nights and we almost always have cinnamon rolls in the morning (Dave takes care of both) so I almost get the day off on Sunday! It’s fabulous!
Jennifer says
We live far from family and we are about to move even further away. Our families put a lot of pressure on us to attend traditional events, but we are starting to say no more frequently. The long drives are stressful and we like having freedom to choose what we want to do. We stay in contact with our families and try our to be kind with our declines, but some people have a real hard time with letting go of traditions. Families grow and change.p people have a real hard time with letting go of traditions. Families grow and change.
Kim says
I guess we are just weirdos, but in the 40 years we have been married, we have never enjoyed going out to eat, having people over or going over to other people’s house for Sunday lunch after church. For whatever reason, I am hungrier by lunch time on Sunday than any other day of the week. Delaying eating does not sound fun to me. Furthermore, I want a NAP on Sunday afternoon. Isn’t that day supposed to be one for resting?
Andrea says
Not weird at all (at least in my book!) However, I know a huge number of people who would think we’re both weird!
I completely understand the enjoyment of getting together with family… but Sunday afternoons just seems like a crapy time for me. Stop by any weeknight and I’ll feed you and entertain you… just don’t make me do Sundays!
Pascale says
For the first twelve years of my life, I didn’t live in a tradition home like you did. I moved a lot and went to 7 different schools in different provinces in one year. Altogether, I went to approx 15 different elementary schools in both French and English.
However, when I was taken away from my mom, I went to live with my aunt and uncle and they had Sunday Dinner so I had it every Sunday for the 7 years that I lived with them until I moved out to live on my own. However, I guess that traditions never stuck with me because I was never emotionally tied to them.
Having said that, I can imagine what it feels like to enjoy the comfort and stability that it brings. It must be hard to part with tradition, but I totally agree with you, Andrea, that sometimes the hassle and the time that it would take to keep that going is simply not worth it.
It saddens me to see so many exhausted women and overburdened women who feel as though they have to cook Thanksgiving Dinner and they have to clean the house and make it look perfect before family and friends show up.
I once heard a story about a man cooking Thanksgiving Dinner because his wife was ill and he simply ordered pizza and had paper plates and everyone was happy. He didn’t clean the house or fuss about all the details we care about, but he wasn’t exhausted either.
It always stuck with me and your post is a good reminder not to let traditions ruin our health and our family time together. It’s hard to enjoy your time with your family if you’re just too tired and would really much rather take a nap.
Andrea says
Thanks for this comment Pascale — and I loved the story about the husband ordering pizza on Thanksgiving. So true, no one even cared and think how much time and effort was saved!
Jenny says
I’ve dropped the big Christmas dinner. After living alone and not being able to travel back home it became too much work. I now check Chinese take out (normally I’ll order several lunch specials the day before since my favorite restaurant isn’t open on Christmas.) Mom moved to be by me and we decided to keep the tradition. Instead of a big meal to cook and clean up we had an early breakfast, then went to the movies and came back home to eat Chinese. It was lovely and pretty low stress.
Andrea says
This is awesome — I’m getting tired of big Christmas shindigs too. Just let me stay home with my family and do something simple.
We’re slowing convincing our various family members that it is often more enjoyable and less stressful to celebrate Christmas on a different day, and then enjoy the less-stressful holiday at home. Slowly 🙂
Sandy says
I grew up, like you, in a very traditional CRC home with church on both ends of the day with a big meal at noon….often shared with grandparents and like you, I enjoyed it immensely! When my husband and I were first married, I tried to carry on the tradition but felt my Sunday was becoming less and less a day of ‘rest’ and more and more a day of work, by the time I added in choir practice, taught church school, etc. I don’t remember when or how the change was made but at some point my husband made it known that he was totally fine not having a big meal every Sunday and our dinner time became ‘whatever’. As our kids got older they all started fending for them themselves which made it even better! I only felt bad about our new family tradition one time, when a man from our church was shocked to discover I didn’t prepare a big Sunday dinner each week, making me feel like I was breaking some cardinal rule and that I was somehow ‘less than’ as a wife/mother. I got over it quickly though and to be honest, I think my kids really preferred the more relaxed afternoon as well as the more relaxed ME as a result. Of course I DO occasionally go through the fuss of a big dinner on special occasions and during the holidays, but typically Sunday is my day ‘off’ in the kitchen and I LOVE it!!
Andrea says
Yeah, I know a lot of people who have given up the big meal at noon on Sunday — I loved it, but it’s just too much work right now. I have no problem making a big meal in the evening, I just hate doing it for lunch (especially on Sunday when we’re gone all morning!)
Rachael says
This is a great tip and can be used for pretty much anything…if it’s not working, stop doing it. I have been stressing for months trying to get the kids out to different activities in the morning. Lately I’ve stopped doing this and everyone is SO much less stressed. A walk to the park is just as fun and WAY less stressful!
Andrea says
exactly! if it’s not working, stop doing it (or at least find a better/different way to do it!)
Rhonda says
Ha, growing up in northwest WI we always had a Sunday dinner too (dinner to us always meant the midday meal, and supper was the late day meal – probably more of a farming tradition). We don’t live near our families and it’s also not really practical for me to do a Sunday dinner with two small kids (plus, we no longer attend church, so our Sundays aren’t structured around that activity).
A couple years ago we stopped a long standing tradition of getting together with extended family in Ohio at Thanksgiving, because 1) the group was becoming too large, thus making outtings not fun (try going to the Cincinnati Zoo with 30 people ranging in age from 2 to 76!), and 2) we have jobs in healthcare and can’t often get Thanksgiving AND Black Friday off to travel. Unfortunately this has meant that we never see this family anymore, so we really need to find a new tradition or time of year to visit that works for everyone.
Andrea says
yes, Dinner = biggest meal. Supper = night time meal 🙂
And yes, we’ve stopped seeing our extended families as much as well. It’s too many people, too much hassle, and we often don’t even enjoy it anymore. Time for new traditions!
Heidi says
Sundays are SO hard with little ones! Church, naptime, and a big meal was always the perfect storm for a total meltdown for all of us! An early service and a small meal (or eating out at our favorite Mexican place) has been our saving grace.
Christine from The (mostly) Simple Life says
Really great tip! It’s so much more enjoyable to do what works for you instead of what you feel like you’re “supposed” to do.
We’ve been doing holidays a lot different for the last few years. We usually get together with my husband’s family for holidays (mine live far away), and since we all work hard, no one wants to cook a big meal. For Easter, we met at their cabin on a river and grilled brats instead of having a big traditional meal. We usually keep it SUPER simple. We always have a great time together and no one has the stress of cooking and cleaning up a huge meal for everyone.
Andrea says
Sounds wonderful. Everyone was shocked that we just stayed home for Mother’s Day and didn’t do anything with family — I thought to myself, I’m the mom and I want to have a relaxing afternoon while my kids nap… heck yes I’m just staying home!
Stel says
AB-SO-LU-TE-LY
No Sunday lunch.
Ditto Christmas (summer Christmas in South Africa!) – we much rather have a bbq with steak or fish, salads etc – it can be as festive, but much less work.
Anonymous says
Great post! I love your flexibility! I would probably think I should keep this up, so my children can have this wonderful tradition. But so true, you can pick it back up later…or not!
Eileen says
What a great post.
I struggled for a long time with Thanksgiving. We live in a city with no family and my current (last 10 years) job requires me to work on the Friday after Thanksgiving (which also means we can’t travel). So having a “full” Thanksgiving dinner requires me/us to make all of it.
I’ve played around with taking the Wednesday off before in order to help prepare. A few years we’ve gone out to a place for Thanksgiving — which was good, but expensive and still felt a little unlike Thanksgiving.
Last year I found another great local restaurant to try, but they were booked for reservations. However, they provide full (hot) turkey and sides to go. I jumped on it and it was FANTASTIC. It was delicious and fresh and I could get ALL the sides w/o making them. It was also about half than we’d have to pay to dine in a restaurant. I only made my own stuffing (in addition to theirs that was a little different) and dessert.
It is my new “tradition”. I finally found something that makes sense and doesn’t make me feel guilty or exhausted.
Andrea says
oh, sounds wonderful! Glad you finally found a tradition that works for you (at least for now!) You can always tweak things again when necessary!