I receive many emails on a daily and weekly basis — many of them are for informational purposes, some are asking questions about my business or my blog, and some are simply kind words of appreciation and encouragement (thank you!)
However, there are also a few nasty ones that pop up in my inbox every once in a while — and they bug me so much.
Not that I think everyone needs to like me or approve of what I do (honestly, I’m really not the ‘people pleaser’ type of person).
I just can’t get over how mean someone needs to be to take time out of their day to sit down and type lengthy emails expressing why someone they’ve never even met in real life is “a horrible person”, has “a stupid blog”, is “not a good Christian”, is “failing their family by not feeding them all Real Food”, or is “turning their child into a spoiled brat” (yes, seriously… these are all real emails I’ve received!)
I delete the mean emails and move on with my day — but sometimes the words stick with me. I think of them as I type, as I make dinner, or as I contemplate how long I can outlast yet another temper tantrum.
Then I remind myself that the people behind those emails don’t really know me. They don’t have my life, my job, or my family. They can only judge me if I let them.
And I don’t let them!
.
Recently, I received a nasty email that went on about how boring my blog is and how ridiculous it is for me to post pictures and share updates of Nora on my blog.
Just for that last statement, Nora is giving them the evil eye…
A quote from this email stated:
“Most of your ideas are not rocket science… I’m sure you are bright enough and are not intentionally turning people off. Consider the fact that just because people are afraid to speak up and are concerned about hurting your feelings does not mean that they appreciate what your blog sometimes deteriorates into.”
As I glazed over the email and prepared to hit “DELETE” my eyes kept going back to the phrase “Most of your ideas are not rocket science.”
.
It’s not rocket science.
I’ve heard this phrase many times in my life — and I’m certain I’ve said it a handful of times too. I was curious to exactly where it originated… so I did a little online research. I found a ton of information, but I think this Phrase Finder explanation says it best…
“It’s not rocket science” simply means: It (the subject under discussion) isn’t difficult to understand.
Exactly!
That’s 100% the goal I’m striving for here at AndreaDekker.com.
My goal with every blog post is to make sure: It (organizing, budgeting, meal planning, scheduling, working from home, raising a family) isn’t difficult to understand.
As I’ve mentioned over and over and OVER again — Andrea Dekker is a brand, a business, and a blog that focuses on simplifying REAL life for real families with real budgets, real schedules, real homes, and real lives.
So of course the ideas and concepts presented on my blog are not rocket science. I never intended them to be rocket science. In fact, it would defeat both my business and personal goals if my ideas were rocket science!
So while that particular email attempted to make me feel inferior and defeated, it actually did just the opposite. It confirmed that what I’m doing here on AndreaDekker.com is working!
I’m successfully sharing recipes, organizing ideas, time management tips, frugal advice, and more in a way that “isn’t difficult to understand” — certainly no rocket science degrees required for this blog.
I realize I’m not the most talented writer, or parent, or business person, or chef, or house keeper.
I don’t have eloquent words like Ann.
I’m not overflowing with motherly wisdom like Sarah and Rachel.
I’m not a poet like Jodi.
I don’t have an amazing life story (or quick wit) like Glennon.
I’m not patient, humble, or overly-generous like Crystal.
But I AM real.
I write what I know, what I do, what works for me, and what I hope will be useful for you (spelling mistakes, grammar slip-ups, blurry photos, and all).
The content of my blog is NOT rocket science… it’s real life.
And I think that’s a whole lot better!
Don’t you?
{Please note, the purpose of this post is not to “get back at” the writer of that email. I never even responded to the email. I simply thought it made a really good point that my blog is NOT rocket science. There is no need to defend me in the comments. I know that the majority of readers DO appreciate the efforts I put into maintaining this blog — thank you for that!}
JoDi says
Wow. Just. Wow. I don’t know why it still shocks me that bloggers get so much hate directed at them in comments and emails because I’ve seen it often enough around the web, but it does still shock me. I just don’t understand the point of telling someone how much you hate their blog. There are a bazillion other blogs out there to read. Why don’t they just move on to one they do like? I would be bored to death reading a blog about car engines, but I don’t spend my time telling the writers of car engine blogs how boring they are. I just don’t read them.
Thanks for continuing to write. I wish there was a way to screen emails so you could just delete the hateful ones without reading them. It’s a shame to even have to absorb that negativity to any degree. Glad you found a positive message to share from this one.
I love your blog because you share so many simple tips. Many I was already using, some I’ve read before and forgot through the years, and some have been very useful. And sometimes you have to hear the same tip over a few times before it becomes relevant to you. Your photo books are a good example. I switched to all digital photos some years ago and stopped getting any photos printed except a few to frame. I bought a digital photo frame so I could display some more for people to see when they come over, but it hasn’t been an ideal solution. Recently I’ve been missing having albums for people to flip through. It’s not real convenient to hand your laptop around the room when you have guests! Even though you’ve been posting about photo books for some time, and I’ve read about them in tons of other places for years, it was the last post you mentioned them in that made me realize that an annual or semi-annual photo book is what I need to start doing. so thanks for keeping it real, and simple. 🙂
Melinda says
I read your blog on a regular basis because I myself love to stay organized and follow to do list. I feel like there is someone I can relate to. ha.
Anyway, my main purpose to comment was to say I loved your sense of humor of Nora’ evil eye. I seriously laughed out loud over
that one. ha. As far as posting pictures of Nora? Who wouldn’t want to look at cuteness?
Keep up the great work!
Chalyse Meiklejohn says
Well I can say you saved my life! You’ve brought so much organization to my life in one of my lowest points. We lost our first child a week after Nora was born and I found your blog and put all my energy into purging, cleaning and organizing. I LOVE the way your blog is written and what you post. There are some days I don’t read your posts because they have to do with working from home or starting a business which doesn’t apply to me but then there are posts that are perfect for me! Some people need to keep their mouths shut. Keep doing what you’re doing!
Davina Sanchez says
If you don’t like Andrea Dekker, don’t subscribe to or read the blog. It’s not rocket science. 🙂
Vicki says
I fail to understand why someone would continue to read a blog they don’t like, and waste precious time sending a scathing comment. If a blog is not for you, don’t read it. And THAT’s not rocket science! lol
Davina Sanchez says
hahaha! I just realized I said exactly what you said with different words! AMEN!
Vicki says
Hahaha. Great minds…
Karen HL says
I wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your site and to encourage you. Every time I go to my tee shirt draw and they are all folded like yours, I think of you. Each time I clean my shower, tub, etc. with vinegar mixed with dawn , I think of you and so on. I also have logged on to different sites and read other organizers, but so far there are only two that I have emailed to me. One of which is yours. I have tried more but delete or cancel after a while. Just a personal note. I have 4 grown children and 9 grandchildren and enjoy seeing Nora and think you are doing a fine job. Remember there are more of US (who like your blog) than them (the Debbie downers)! Keep up the good work and many blessings.
Janet says
That’s one thing I never have to think about with my little blog. LOL It really puzzles me why people do these things. If someone finds my blog not worth their time I fully expect them to delete, unsubscribe, whatever. I do the same if I get maxed out on hearing nothing but how baby is doing when my baby is 27. I don’t read that blog. Psychologists say those who tear others down are insecure themselves. You must have some very insecure readers!! On Facebook there’s a person who posts gorgeous pictures I love to see and an occassional, thought not beat-ya-over-the-head faith type comment. He gets hate posts, then unfriends the sender. I’ve got my quirks, 1st to say so. But I tell ya, some just amaze. Good for you and your good attitude. What isn’t obvious to me is to another not stuck in my mess at that point in time.
Thanks for being honest, being you.
Anna says
1. Love Nora’s evil eye 🙂
2. This reminds me of something my dad (a pastor) says some times: the sign of a gifted communicator is not if people walk out of the room saying “Wow, that was so deep!” but rather “Well, of course, I already knew that!”
A gifted communicator is able to distill a complex topic into simple, easy-to-remember, and most importantly, easy-to-apply points.
There are always naysayers, but I say way to go Andrea!
Tara says
I LOVE this thought!
Lisa says
Andrea,
Organization does not come naturally to me. It is a part of my life I have always had to work on, in order to get better at it. When I want to learn how to get better at something, I look to mentors and role models. Your blog serves as inspiration to me. I appreciate your practical tips and strategies; your think aloud’s for the organizationally challenged (speaking for myself:). As women, the world would be a much better place if we would ALL reach out to encourage and inspire one another. Thank you for inspiring me!
Jen says
I couldn’t agree more (and with all of your faithful readers)! Thank you for sharing your time and life with us;)
Jen says
Oh and for the record I sold my house on Craigslist this spring thanks to YOU!!!
Christina says
Hey there…I’m so glad you posted this because it actually made me realize why I like your blog so much. Like you said it’s real life and easy to understand. As someone once said, “If you can explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough”. I think you have a great “product” to offer. You have a simple understanding of things that a lot of us don’t understand at all. Thank you for what you do!!!
Tara says
I agree with Christina. Your rocket science-less approach that is not too extreme is exactly why I return daily for a little bit of real life motivation for actual and attainable motivation. Keep your “simpleness”. You’re right. It’s exactly what we’re here to see more of. Now when the unkind words echo through your mind and don’t turn out to be a positive reinforcement like this example…take those thoughts captive and let the words in these comments reaffirm you.
Cammy@TippyToeDiet says
I can’t help thinking how awesome it is that your blog ISN’T rocket science, because I wouldn’t be able to keep up. 🙂 (Over in my niche, the “it’s not rocket science” line is used for exercising more and eating less. Simple enough, yes, but the dots don’t always connect so easily.. There are nuances even in simple concepts, some little spark or germ of an idea that sometimes leaps off the screen and solves a problem for someone. It’s what makes blogging so worthwhile.
cathy says
you are the most inspirational person I know. I can’t wait to read your blog every day always taking something new away from it. Everything makes perfect sense because its so simple, hence “simple organized living.” I referred my daughter, son, and all my friends. We just love you. Thanks for doing what you do.
Amy says
Please know that your blog is the one that I most look forward to reading! It is beyond awful that people take time to send such hateful things. Keep the simple, easy ideas coming! Your true fans love them!!
Morgan says
LOL if you’re so boring, why don’t they just go away? No one’s forcing them to read. people are kooky, we love you and your blog and obviously that dork’s in the minority. Great attitude about it, too!
Debby says
Andrea I found your blog while looking for ways to organize my filing cabinet. That was the first week of January and I haven’t missed a day since. I love following along with how you handle things in your life. Sometimes it is something I can use sometimes not. I love hearing about Nora. My children are 15 and 17 and I have shared with you that Nora reminds me of my 15 year old. Thank you for your blog. I also wanted to share that I just saw a report on TV that sleeping habits are genetic and can only be “trained” to a certain point. Otherwise, you are born that way.
And lastly, to the emailer using the” It’s not rocket science ” phrase. How about the one my grandma always used, “If you can’t say something nice be quiet.”
Have a great day. Looking forward to those landscape pics.
Kendra Burns says
I love your updates on Nora; our son is two months younger than her, so it’s fun to watch the similarities and differences between your little girl and my little boy. Plus, I love reading your blog every day for everything else you teach us!
colleen says
HA! I’ve learned over the years that those who accuse others of not being a good Christian are very questionable themselves as one. And for the record, who cares?! If you’re an Atheist, who cares?! If their definition of you being a poor Christian is because you don’t shove it down your readers throats, well then Hallejuah!!! If people don’t like what you post, why are they here?
Leah says
Andrea,
I can totally relate. I recently had someone write a vicious remark referring to a blog post i did or organizing children’s dishes. She attacked me about my plans to feed my children on melamine plates I purchased at Pottery Barn Kids last summer and how horrible a person I was for even thinking about doing that. If she had really read about me, she would have known that we don’t have children yet {in the process of adopting an infant} and that I was using the plates when friends came over with their children. Regardless, so rude.
More recently, I had a woman tell me that my organizing photos look so nice because I don’t have kids. She went on to tell me that things will be different, just wait and that I have a lot to learn. The truth is, organized people are organized, baby or not. I’ve been through some really tough life experiences {like loss of multiple immediate family members} and I was able to keep up with my home and maintain an organized space.
I was bullied so much in junior high and high school. It is hard for me not to internalize what is written to me. I only started my blog 5 months ago, so I can imagine the numbers of these incidences will increase as I continue with this. I’m not looking forward to it.
I am sorry that you to are dealing with people who never got the memo that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” They are triggered by things we are posting and either feel inadequate or insecure. Blogging is also an excellent platform for people to hide behind and make their point known. They, unfortunately for us, feel safe in doing this.
Keep doing what you’re doing! I’ve been following since the week baby Nora was born and I’ve learned so much. Things my mom probably would have taught me 🙂 Your drive for frugal living reminds me so much of her {your recipes too}. It’s really comforting…
Thanks a bunch, Andrea!
Leah 🙂
Andrea says
Wow Leah — sounds like you get some crazy comments too! But ‘yay’ for the fun organizing blog!
And seriously, if I had a dime for every person who told me my house and life would be a disaster after kids, I could literally retire from blogging. I’m not saying my house is perfect all the time, but within 15 minutes, I can always have my house clean and organized once again… no mater house crazy of a day we’re having. You’ll still be organized after kids — I promise!
Leah says
thank you for the reassurance, Andrea 🙂
Stephanie says
Leah I love your blog! Just wanted to add that here.
Also, things do change when kids come. But I feel the more kids I have the more they have forced me to get organized. I feel more organized now that I have three than 5 years ago when I was pregnant with my first.
It is an ongoing process.
From my perspective it is easier to judge some blogger who shows small bits of their lives. Even in real life we judge others when we only see probably 10% of their life. It is always easier to make our lives seems worse than theirs.
I don’t always like reading verything written in this blog and I usually can avoid reading those posts and read the ones that I feel apply to me. But I would never write a comment or email in a mean way or hurtful tone. If I don’t have something constructive and loving to say I try really hard not to say it.
Bloggers write for thousands people, not every reader will like every post or agree with every idea. That is something both readers and bloggers need to keep in mind.
I’m sure it can be difficult not to respond to some of those comments or emails, but your best bet is not feeding the fire but letting it burn out.
Sari Stoltzfus says
Your blog is most likely the one that I have followed the longest, delivered to my email. Others, I have tired of, they were either in a complete mind frame than I can relate to (all REAL food), such elegant words they gave me a headache, or so unpractical with all their extreme routines, ideals, goals, etc. You are much more balanced and I can relate to that!
Ann Marie says
How horrible, some people stoop so low.
If they don’t like you or your blog why not just close the page and move on, why do they think they have the right to attack? And to be so mean about Nora, just wicked.
I love your blog, you’ve helped me see my lovely home again through all the clutter and disorganised chaos I’d been drowning in. Thanks to you there are now enough hours in my day to do the things I want to do.
Love and Hugs xx
Connie says
Andrea,
Keep doing exactly what you are doing! I know those comments hurt, but think of the source. This person chooses to read your blog…it’s not like they have to. Something to be said about that.
Yours is my favorite blog…I follow quite a few. You have given me so many great ideas and I have learned a lot from you. I look forward to my morning tea and catching up on the blog world…I look for yours first!
You are a beautiful young woman who has her act together. I think you are an awesome wife, mother and all around great person. Nora is adorable!!!! Love the pics of her!!!
Keep up the great work!!!
Faye says
Hi Andrea,
I know you don’t need defending. But I feel really upset about this. I know, really? I don’t know you, you don’t know me. But I feel like each day I read your blog a get little glimpse of your life – so I guess I kinda feel like I know you. Anyway, just wanted to say I love your blog and the simple suggestions that are easy for anyone to apply to their life if they wish. Sometimes, I must admit I thump my forehead and wonder why I didn’t think of that! No, it isn’t rocket science – if I wanted rocket science I would read a blog about NASA. But I enjoy it all. And if the haters don’t like it, unsubscribe and stop reading – that’s not rocket science either.
I don’t comment often, but I do enjoy your blog – especially the recipes and ideas on freezer cooking. I’m so gonna get on that bandwagon someday!
Keep smiling…. and writing…. and sharing!
Sheri says
Tell Nora to keep they evil eye going. That made me chuckle!
Jeannine says
Oops. Well I just watched a few of those celebrities mean tweets. Get ready for some foul language. Sorry. And I bet they get worse ones. But again. Ignore your meanies and keep blogging. With all your categories,there’s something helpful for all of us who follow you.
Maria says
I don’t understand people. If this person would read any of the comments on your blogs, they would see that your followers enjoy your blog. If we didn’t, we would stop reading your stuff. Which is what that person should have done. No need to be nasty, just go away.
Even though your blog may not be “Rock Science”, your suggestions might be something that we forgot, or hadn’t thought of yet. Sometimes I read your stuff and think, “oh of course, I knew that”. But it was buried in all the clutter in my brain and I couldn’t access it. And without the reminder, I would continue on my clutter path.
Keep up the good work and ignore negative comments. Life is just too short to massage negativity.
Kathy C says
What is wrong with people! Why would they even be following your blog if they don’t like it? If a topic doesn’t interest me, I just move on. But I always looks for pictures of Nora first – what a cutie. Thanks for sharing her with us.
PW says
I was saddened to hear that people actually take time out to make negative rude comments when it is far easier to just not read your blog. But…with that said I got a good laugh out of the Evil Eye of Nora. Keep doing what you are doing, it works for the majority. For those that find fault, so be it. You will never please all the people all of the time. I love the pictures of Nora but the Evil Eye just cracked me up. I really have gained a lot from your blog. Ignore them.
Lori says
Love your blog! Love your Nora stories too. I am always amazed at how you break your routines into steps. I was actually standing out on my porch earlier and was thinking of all the things I needed to do and thought about how you help simplify routines. I get behind and then get overwhelmed, but I enjoy reading your blog so thank you so much!
Luba says
Thank you so much for your blog, Andrea! I have learned so much from you, and I think we are almost the same age (that’s pretty neat to me)! Thank you for showing how organizing can be simple. Just two days ago, my husband and I switched all our bedroom furniture and bed. Thanks to your great blog, I decided that I was not going to put anything back into our bedroom unless it was going back organized! I would not have done that a year ago. Please keep blogging; you, your family, and your blog are a blessing to many. 🙂
Vickie says
Keep on keeping on. Us lurkers who read you everyday love you . . . and Nora – ha!
Debra Schramm says
Your blog is wonderful. I read it everyday. I’m still not organized but because of your blog and the fact that it’s not rocket science I’m slowly working towards having an organized home and budget. Because of your blog I know it’s doable!
Also, if I really disagree with a blogger or dislike the content, I simply unsubscribe I don’t bash the blogger. I don’t understand that kind of person that would do that. Obviously, they don’t know the meaning of you reap what you sow.
Jenny says
I love your blog if someone doesn’t agree with you, they ca just not subscribe to your blog. You do good work and I have gotten a lot of good ideas from you. Keep up the good work.
Rebecca G says
I commend you for putting yourself out there. At the end of the day, these judgmental people with too much free time are not making a difference in the world. Putting other people down does not better the world at all, nor does it better their own lives. They should worry less about you, or anyone else, and spend more of that time working on themselves.
Alisa says
i see the sender said “most of your ideas are not rocket science” they said MOST. which means some of them just might be. NICE! you just gotta read between the lines 🙂
Laura T. says
Ditto on all the above! Love your blog and keeping up with Nora. Reading people’s blogs are a choice…if they don’t like your blog, then don’t read it….duh! “It’s not rocket science!”
Jeannine says
I saw Jimmy Kimmel last night when he ran celebrities who get mean tweets. Good grief! Well today I found Celebrities and mean tweets # 1 and 2 and 3 and more on YouTube. You must watch a few if those to put your mean emails in perspective. Hang in there. Ignore the meanies. People who stay with you love what you write. You have a beautiful family and tons of good fans. So there! And God bless you.
Gayle says
This is YOUR blog. You can post what makes you happy and what you think will be a benefit to your readers. If someone doesn’t agree or doesn’t like the content, they are NOT required to read it. Thank you for your great posts. I look forward to reading more in the future 🙂
Edie says
I just want to reinforce what everyone else is saying. I enjoy your blog and the simple ideas that you present. Your drive and determination are impressive, and you inspire me to give myself a good kick in the seat of my pants to work harder and do better. Your Nora updates are my absolute favorite part of your blog, and I’m always glad to see her sweet face pop up in my reader! I especially like how real you are about the struggle it has been to adjust to parenthood. My son will be 5 next week (little sister turned 3 in Jan.), and I will never ever forget just how hard it was to transition to parenthood and have my world turned upside down! And mine even sleep, haha! Keep up the awesome work!
Holly Heasley says
Wow! It baffles me that someone could be so hurtful to you when your blog is so positive and benign in all aspects. I’ve told you this before, but your blog is one of the very few blogs that I follow and enjoy reading regularly. You’re doing a great job, keep it up!
Tara says
I’m a new reader of your blog, but I’ve already implemented many of your great ideas and it has made my “less than rocket science” life flow a little better. Thank you!