I receive many emails on a daily and weekly basis — many of them are for informational purposes, some are asking questions about my business or my blog, and some are simply kind words of appreciation and encouragement (thank you!)
However, there are also a few nasty ones that pop up in my inbox every once in a while — and they bug me so much.
Not that I think everyone needs to like me or approve of what I do (honestly, I’m really not the ‘people pleaser’ type of person).
I just can’t get over how mean someone needs to be to take time out of their day to sit down and type lengthy emails expressing why someone they’ve never even met in real life is “a horrible person”, has “a stupid blog”, is “not a good Christian”, is “failing their family by not feeding them all Real Food”, or is “turning their child into a spoiled brat” (yes, seriously… these are all real emails I’ve received!)
I delete the mean emails and move on with my day — but sometimes the words stick with me. I think of them as I type, as I make dinner, or as I contemplate how long I can outlast yet another temper tantrum.
Then I remind myself that the people behind those emails don’t really know me. They don’t have my life, my job, or my family. They can only judge me if I let them.
And I don’t let them!
.
Recently, I received a nasty email that went on about how boring my blog is and how ridiculous it is for me to post pictures and share updates of Nora on my blog.
Just for that last statement, Nora is giving them the evil eye…
A quote from this email stated:
“Most of your ideas are not rocket science… I’m sure you are bright enough and are not intentionally turning people off. Consider the fact that just because people are afraid to speak up and are concerned about hurting your feelings does not mean that they appreciate what your blog sometimes deteriorates into.”
As I glazed over the email and prepared to hit “DELETE” my eyes kept going back to the phrase “Most of your ideas are not rocket science.”
.
It’s not rocket science.
I’ve heard this phrase many times in my life — and I’m certain I’ve said it a handful of times too. I was curious to exactly where it originated… so I did a little online research. I found a ton of information, but I think this Phrase Finder explanation says it best…
“It’s not rocket science” simply means: It (the subject under discussion) isn’t difficult to understand.
Exactly!
That’s 100% the goal I’m striving for here at AndreaDekker.com.
My goal with every blog post is to make sure: It (organizing, budgeting, meal planning, scheduling, working from home, raising a family) isn’t difficult to understand.
As I’ve mentioned over and over and OVER again — Andrea Dekker is a brand, a business, and a blog that focuses on simplifying REAL life for real families with real budgets, real schedules, real homes, and real lives.
So of course the ideas and concepts presented on my blog are not rocket science. I never intended them to be rocket science. In fact, it would defeat both my business and personal goals if my ideas were rocket science!
So while that particular email attempted to make me feel inferior and defeated, it actually did just the opposite. It confirmed that what I’m doing here on AndreaDekker.com is working!
I’m successfully sharing recipes, organizing ideas, time management tips, frugal advice, and more in a way that “isn’t difficult to understand” — certainly no rocket science degrees required for this blog.
I realize I’m not the most talented writer, or parent, or business person, or chef, or house keeper.
I don’t have eloquent words like Ann.
I’m not overflowing with motherly wisdom like Sarah and Rachel.
I’m not a poet like Jodi.
I don’t have an amazing life story (or quick wit) like Glennon.
I’m not patient, humble, or overly-generous like Crystal.
But I AM real.
I write what I know, what I do, what works for me, and what I hope will be useful for you (spelling mistakes, grammar slip-ups, blurry photos, and all).
The content of my blog is NOT rocket science… it’s real life.
And I think that’s a whole lot better!
Don’t you?
{Please note, the purpose of this post is not to “get back at” the writer of that email. I never even responded to the email. I simply thought it made a really good point that my blog is NOT rocket science. There is no need to defend me in the comments. I know that the majority of readers DO appreciate the efforts I put into maintaining this blog — thank you for that!}
Kate c says
I love your blog! I know this is an old post but I haven’t seen it before – I linked in from your last blog post… I’m glad you have kept it going all these years 🙂
Andrea says
Thanks Kate! This was (and still is) one of my most favorite posts ever! Glad you got to (finally) read it 🙂
Angela says
I just LOVE your blog. It is full of down to earth “doable” ideas, from recipes to budgeting. Is it “rocket science?” NO, thank goodness!! That very reason is why I would read a blog, You make your ideas easy, affordable, and practical. Your blog is one of the best out there. And I also love all your remodeling pictures and the ones of your adorable little Nora. Thank you!
Andrea says
Thanks Angela — that’s my goal so glad you’re benefiting from my SIMPLE, non rocket science ideas!!
Lisa says
I found your blog today and think its fabulous! I wasnt looking for rocket science, just help. Simple and manageable and you deliver. As for Nora, well she is a beautiful part of the package. Keep up the great work. You are inspiring!
Judy says
I happened upon your blog for the first time today. I admire your spirit, your cut-to-the-chase approach, and your individuality. It is inspiring.
Because of the internet, you have the ability to reach zillions of people and inspire them, learn from them, connect to them. What a wonder this is, and what a wonderful gift it is. You are using this gift so well.
I sent your post about starting a business today to my daughter, who wants to move across country and live near me and her sister. Who knows what a cascade of events may come from this?
And lastly, I just love the pictures of your gleaming house, reflecting the light. I am gazing around my house to see what I can put away and shine. And my house is usually an inspiration to others!
Erin says
I’m sorry you have to deal with emails like this one. I write for a “mom” blog and it’s crazy how much it seems people want to hurt someone. I’ll never understand how some people think their way is the only way or that they have a responsibility to “educate” someone else not looking for advice. It’s clear from the descriptions of the emails you get that people just can’t move on…why even bother to tell you what they think about your blog? why not just find another? So weird. Anyway…I found your blog over the weekend and I’m really enjoying reading your posts. I can relate to you and your posts a lot better than I can with some other bloggers. Did I tell them that? Nooooo! I just spent hours reading your blog and not theirs. No biggie. 🙂 I have a little girl on the way and ‘Nora’ is on my name list. I like reading about her. She’s a cutie! Keep up the good work. You’re helping a lot of good people.
Andrea says
Thanks Erin! so glad you’ve been enjoying my blog — and I appreciate your kind words. Congrats on the soon-to-be baby too!
barbg says
i like your blog.
you inspire me to get rid of the ‘clutter’ in my physical space (this is someone who’s kept her library cards for over 35years yikes).
thank you! xo
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Hey, I’m a little late but I just saw this post from another link of yours. I was eager to read it because I just started getting hate mail. I was really shocked the first time it happened. Part of me was laughing, like, “I must have arrived!!” and the other part of me was just speechless. I don’t get why people think that’s ok. But anyway, I just wanted to echo the comments above. The blogs I personally love to read are the ones by real people doing realistic things–people I can empathize with, that I think “This person would be fun to eat ice cream with.” Just people doing life together. So three cheers for realistic, fun blogs like yours. And maybe the hate mail people will get a grip sometime. 🙂
amy volk says
Hi Andrea-
I just discovered your blog! And then I read this post and it made me so mad.
What a ding bat this person is!
Love your site. We do similar things….I am an organizer and also blog. Love your mission of helping REAL families.
Cheers to you!
Jean says
Wow, I’ll never understand people like that, HATERS. its so sad when we’re putting people down just for doing what they love, sadly I bet it was a woman as well. You’re website is awesome, and if I didn’t like it, I would not look at it, this person is acting like you’re forcing people to look at it! Funnily enough if I go on a website that I don’t like or that doesn’t interest me, I click on the little cross at the top and never look again! Simple.
So sad that people waste their time and energy hating on other people who are just out there doing their thing, what sad bitter lives these people must lead.
I wish this culture of women hating each other would end, it’s such a waste of time, and when we stop we realise just how awesome women are!
Kristen says
I love your blog! I feel like it has something for everyone – mom tips, organization tips, recipes, frugal ideas, inspiration for daily living … It’s not such a “niche blog” as some others are. I guess when you are appealing to a lot of people, not every post will “speak” to every person. But there are literally thousands of blogs out there, so if you don’t like one why would you not only continue to read it, but also send a nasty email to the owner about it?! That just makes no sense to me. Everyone’s time is limited, so if I’m not getting something out of a blog I would rather quit reading it than waste even more time writing a nasty-gram.
Ugh, so sorry you have to deal with this so often. I think those kinds of comments would really stick with me!
And PS: If you didn’t post updates about Nora, you know you would get like 50 emails a day asking how she’s doing, how many words does she say, is she sleeping through the night, etc. Really you’re saving yourself time by posting updates here 😉
Tanya says
Andrea,
I love your site! I try to make a point to look at it everyday. As mentioned by many others, I don’t quite get why people have to be so rude and condescending. Those who tend to share this are usually unhappy in their own life and are just looking for people to bring down with them. Don’t let the devil come into your life.
“If God is for us, who can be against us? ” Romans 8:31
Thank you for great ideas and wonderful advise.
Terri says
I never comment, but I just had to this time to let you know that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog! Its simplicity is what keeps me coming back. It’s unadulterated, easy to understand and has great information.
Please keep doing what you’re doing and ignore the haters!
Amy says
Andrea, thanks so much for writing this! I just started a blog, and while few people other than my mom read it, it’s so helpful to hear from people further down the blogging road about how to handle mean emails. I mean if wonderful blogs and writers get mean comments, than when and if I get them, I can remember it’s not a measure of my worth or even a reflection of what most people think. Thanks for being you! I always feel encouraged after reading what you have to say!
Ann says
Your blog is one of the few I don’t want to miss! If I miss out for a few days, I plan to spend time to CATCH UP! It seems like you’re good at teaching us basic simple truths for SIMPLE, ORGANIZED LIVING! (and sometimes in a more frugal manner of living)
Thanks for all your posts! It will be a sad day for me if you ever quit!
Sorry for the rudeness, it’s not like they paid for the blog, so they could just choose other sites!
Aa. says
I love your posts and your Nora uptades and all your good explanations on how to easy improve your lifestyle (btw, your comment about rocket science is really smart, I lved it! 😉 ) and we, all your readers, can easily say that those not-well intended people are not right! Gues what? I am not afraid of hurtim their feelings now, as someone said about your readers.
You have a wonderfull blog and I love it! Keep it going for us, those who enjoy it because it is really good!
Dorcas Byler says
The thing I don’t understand about people who don’t like something–why do they take the time to read it? No body is forcing them to read your blog–it is a free country! Just carry on!
Alissa says
We were taught in speach class that corrective critism is ok but it needs to be sandwiched in between compliments. What other people say about you actually speaks much louder about them than you because “OUT OF THE ABUNDANCE OF THE HEART, THE MOUTH SPEAKS”! Mom always said “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it at all.” I admire you and appreciate your blog for many reasons. Keep up the good work! And the pics of Nora 🙂
1Corinthians 13:1-3
Shelly says
P.S. Love, love, love the pic of Nora giving the evil eye! As a fellow mom, I say post all the
It’s you want. Most of us will enjoy them!
Shelly says
I read this yesterday and today it has been bothering me. How rude! I only found your site about a week ago and I read it while feeding my baby. No, it isn’t rocket science but a fresh perspective is always nice. I am really enjoying your site. Please keep up the good work and do not let these rude people bother you. You’ve been a help and an inspiration to me lately. I’m a fan!
Renee says
As a fellow blogger, I will never get over these strange emails. If they think your blog is boring, why are they reading it?
Enough said.
Suzanne says
That is so sad that someone felt they had to express themselves that way. If your blog doesn’t jive with them, then they shouldn’t be reading it and leave it to those of us who do, who gain great ideas, simple recipes (that strawberry pie was amazing-thank you!) and really, what I find most, is that I am often presented with reminders of things I may have known in the back of my mind, but could never pull together without the help of some of your pointers and examples, and knowing it works for you, helps me feel it could work for me too.
Thank you for what you do, the great blog you write, the inspiration you give others every day, and for your wonderful Nora. It is nice to hear about your struggles (sorry, that doesn’t sound right), to know you are human and are just like any one of your readers. 🙂
Anna says
I just want to say thank you. I work outside of the house and have 2 kids. Some of the other blogs I read I made me feel inferior because I don’t feed my kids “real food” and they go to daycare. My kids love Kraft mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, yes I limit how much they get, but they are staples in our house.
When I read your blog everyday in my e-mail I always come away with something that will help me in my life. It also helps me to know I’m not alone with doing everything the “right” way. If there is a “right” way. I’m doing whats right for my family just as you are.
So once again thank you.