Today is Dave’s first official day of school… and yes, I’m back to my normal blogging routine again too!
This was the latest Dave has ever started the school year… and boy was it the perfect summer to have a few extra days at home with him! However, we knew the blissful 2-parents-at-home-all-day situation would come to an end at some point, and I think we’re all ready for a bit more structure and routine in our days.
Dave had meetings at school all last week, so I’ve technically be “on my own” for a few days already, and I can honestly say that things went really well.
I managed to keep the house somewhat clean, get dinner on the table every night, write my blog posts, do my VA work, go for a few walks, get groceries, and even venture to the mall with all 3 kids in tow! (Isn’t it insane the mundane things we feel so accomplished doing once small people enter the mix!)
(the baby sling is from Binxy Baby)
I realize that with a newborn at home, our routine will continue to change for the next few months… but right now, James is napping like a champ! This has made it much easier to devote more attention to playing with Nora and Simon instead of always holding and feeding a baby (which is what I felt like I was doing all day for the first 6 weeks of his life.)
Of course, since James sleeps a lot during the day, he stays up pretty late at night; but right now, that’s a tradeoff I’m willing to make. I actually kind of like spending the evening hours with just Dave and James after Nora and Simon go to bed.
I’m not getting nearly as much work done as I used to, but I’m also fairly content with my lack of productivity right now. I’m not feeling antsy or wishing I could do more — and yes, that’s a HUGE accomplishment!
Aren’t you proud of me 🙂
To be honest, I feel like a completely different mom this time around.
Maybe it’s because I’m getting ‘better’ at it, maybe it’s because James is potentially an easier baby, maybe it’s because Nora is older and more capable of entertaining herself and Simon, or maybe it’s because Dave was home all summer to help me.
Whatever the reason, I like it!
I’m not stressed out if my kids make a scene or have a mini meltdown in public, I’m not nearly as apprehensive to get out of the house with them, I didn’t get nervous about being in front of church with everyone for James’ baptism, I don’t think twice about being gone when James needs to take a nap, and (most of the time) I don’t even get uptight if we’re not home exactly in time for Simon’s nap.
I’d almost go so far as to say that I’m FINALLY learning to be a teeny, tiny bit “go with the flow”.
James is warming up to his carseat and no longer screams the entire time he’s in it, so that has made driving and going for walks more enjoyable for sure! And he’s more than willing to sleep in the baby carrier for hours at a time if necessary. He even slept on the booth in Applebee’s a couple weeks ago when Dave and I had a BOGO coupon and gift cards!
If we had gotten coupons and gift cards when Nora was a baby, I would have been SOOOOOOOO stressed out taking her to a restaurant, or SOOOOOO stressed out leaving her with one of our parents because she was really fussy. Now, I didn’t even think twice about taking James with us… and I certainly didn’t feel anxious leaving Nora and Simon behind.
I actually enjoyed getting out of the house, even with James along for the ride — this is totally new for me!
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Although I still prefer the toddler and preschool stage MUCH more than the newborn and infant stage, I’m enjoying my time with James so much more than I ever did with either Nora or Simon.
Obviously, there is still lots of crying, temper tantrums, fighting, disobeying, food-throwing, nap-refusing, and general naughtiness… but there are enough good times inbetween the crazy times that I can handle it. Plus, I think I’m finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I can see that even though James is often fussy in the evening and still waking up a couple times at night, his sleeping stretches are getting longer and longer and he’ll be sleeping through the night in no time.
I can see that even though Simon is almost impossible to reason with right now and throws temper tantrums over the most ridiculous things, he will grow out of it and life will become easier once he can talk and express himself more.
I can see that even though Nora tests my patience daily (sometimes hourly), she is learning and growing so much and she’s actually pretty fun to hang out with sometimes!
Many people have told me, “it gets easier the more you have” — and while I don’t quite agree with that, I will agree that SOME things have felt easier for me, while other things have felt more difficult (grocery shopping, ahem!)
Either way, I’m just thankful that things are going well, that I’m sleeping and relaxing as much as I can, that I feel ready to get back to a more regular blogging schedule, and that I’m enjoying this phase of life more than I ever thought I would.
I guess the third time’s the charm!
So…. what would that mean for the fourth? 🙂
Erin says
Thank you so much for this statement alone….”I can see that even though Simon is almost impossible to reason with right now and throws temper tantrums over the most ridiculous things, he will grow out of it and life will become easier once he can talk and express himself more”. I really, really, really, needed to hear that right now. My son is about 2 weeks older than Simon and we are experiencing the same thing…ahh…nice to know some one else is too. My son is my first child and we are expecting another here in November. I get so much peace of mind knowing that all will work out from reading your blog…it really helps when you share real life stuff. For me it lets me know as a stay at home mom I am not alone and there are people out there going through the same stuff. Thank you sooo much!!!!!
Andrea says
you’re welcome — and congrats on baby #2. that’s exciting!
It really is amazing how much more perspective I have as a mother with a couple more years of “practice”. I can remember when Nora was Simon’s age thinking “how can we every do this again”. And now, 2 years later, we have 2 more children!
You are definitely not alone!
Erin says
Thank you. Yeah that’s pretty much where I’m at…wondering how I’m going to do this again, but I’m trying to just breath and relax . Thank you again for sharing your blog. I learn so much from it and really enjoy your perspective.
Catherine says
Hi Andrea,
I’ve just discovered your blog whilst doing research to start my own. I’ve really enjoyed reading through different posts of yours and this one particularly. I’m a new Mum with a 5 and 1/2 month old so I found your blog very refreshing and inspiring for me. Thank you.
I look forward to reading more of your posts in the future.
Catherine
Andrea says
Thanks Catherine! and congrats on your new baby as well 🙂
JoDi says
That’s all great to hear! Whatever the difference is, it sure is nice to be able to enjoy motherhood more! I only had one child so the thought of taking 3 to the mall sounds like an amazing accomplishment. Very impressive!
The only experience I have with 4 anything is dogs! LOL Three were easy to wrangle on a walk, but 4 pushed it just over the edge into hard to manage territory. I’m guessing kids aren’t all that different! 😉
Andrea says
haha — we know several people who treat their pets like children. you might be onto something 🙂
Pamela S. Wade says
So glad to hear you’re enjoying the baby stage! I think my 4th one was “the charm”….I was almost 30 when I had her and I already had lots of practice and I just felt like everything was easier….but my oldest was 10 at the time and she really helped a lot too so that’s probably a big part of it! I enjoyed my 4th so much that we had 4 more after her! 🙂 ~~Pam
Andrea says
wow — 8 kids! That’s great, but I don’t think we will try to keep up with you 🙂
Also, based on how helpful Nora is at 3.5, I can only imagine how nice it must have been to have a 10-year-old helper around!
Michelle Bonk says
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the ride … makes this so much easier.
I found with my fourth, she stayed up late at night and nursed like a champ because that was her time with me (and I quite liked it).
Linda says
Yeah, glad you are going to be back! I am so glad it is working easier for you. All children are different and it does get easier. Your children are so cute and I love hearing things they do and say. Keep up the good blogging.
Michelle says
Love this post and the pics of your kids! You are beautiful and totally blessed! I’m happy you are finding joy and rolling with this special and challenging stage of life!
Andrea says
Thanks so much Michelle!
Mrs. Crackin' the Whip says
You ventured to the mall with 3 kids!?! When I read that, I thought there must be a story…Maybe a forgotten wedding gift, or maybe some major life event. But no, you went there for fun! LOL
In all seriousness, when I read your paragraph about keeping the house somewhat clean, putting dinner on the table, doing your work, taking care of the critical things like grocery shopping, and spending time with your family, a sense of calm came over me.
All that is quite an accomplishment in itself. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with everything I need or want to do. This was a wonderful reminder to just take care of the important things when it feels like that’s all you can do. And that is enough!
Andrea says
I know, I’m crazy. But we just had to get out of the house and both Nora and Simon had so much fun. The mall is only a 10 minute drive, so not too bad 🙂 We didn’t even go into one store!
And yes, I agree, sometimes just the daily chores are enough. No need to add more to our schedules and days
Mary in Maryland says
Picture me singing “the Gambler”. Quit while you’re winning. So many have children until they are totally overwhelmed.
Andrea says
Mary, Dave and I both laughed out loud when we read your comment 🙂
Laurel says
I’ve always said that having four is no different than having three. We have four and after the third, more made no difference. I have always been a pretty relaxed mom even though, like you I was someone who thrived on accomplishing much during my days. However, when it came to mothering, it seemed pretty natural to me and I admit, I was pretty go with the flow. Consequently, (and I definitely do think this has something to do with it) all of our kids were what people would call “easy” babies. Makes a huge difference when you have a family of four kids and two adults. Hope it’s a good school year for you.
Jennifer says
Hahaha! I had our first three kids in three years (what were we thinking?!) and really loved most of it. Our first and third were easy babies, and our second came home from the NICU on a nice schedule. But our fourth… He was awful!!! We tried everything: diet, reflux medicine, sleeping positions, chiropractic care, etc., but he just screamed for the first year of his life. Now he is an awesome 4-year-old who *almost* makes me want to have more.
Andrea says
I know a family with an almost identical situation (“awful” 4th baby too) and they did have a 5th. It was really challenging until the 4th child was about 3 or 4 and then things calmed down. Their 5th baby was born right in the thick of everything though — only 20 months after the 4th!
lydia @ frugaldebtfreelife says
You are doing such a great job!
Shelly says
Great post! Welcome back, so happy all is going well adjusting to a family of four.
Paulette says
Love seeing pics of you and the kiddos! They are so adorable, Andrea.
Emily says
Yay! I am so happy to read this post and thrilled that things are going so well with the transition from two to three. What a blessing!! I can so relate to what you said about the mundane feeling like such great accomplishments with littles in the mix. I love grocery shopping at Aldi for that very reason! (In and out in 45 minutes with four kiddos in tow). 🙂 We’re still on baby watch for number five, currently eight days past my due date. We’re being patient and can’t wait to meet this little one. Hope your first week of official back to school goes well! And Simon’s cheese face just kills me!!! Love it! 🙂
Andrea says
wow — still waiting! I know exactly how you feel 🙂
Hoping #5 comes quickly, and it’s a smooth transition for your family!
Jen says
This is EXACTLY what happened with me! And it definitely made me want a fourth baby-I enjoyed my boys as babies (#3 and #4) so much more! 🙂
Andrea says
I remember you saying that earlier and I hoped it would be the case for me 🙂