INSIDE: It’s time to bring balance back to our homes, families, and lives. Let’s stop doing more just to do more and instead, let’s be intentional about our choices!
“I’m struggling with how challenging it is to balance the “triangle” of family, home, and work. I find I can do 2 of the 3 well, but never all 3. And I rarely have time to myself to recharge without guilt.”
~ recent reader email
Can you relate?
Are you falling short (by your own standards) in every area of life… barely treading water, trying to survive as opposed to thrive?
If so, I promise it’s not because you’re doing something wrong.
It’s because you’re trying to do too much!
Think of it like a simple math equation:
- Marriage + Parenting (or caring for grandchildren) = 1 full-time job.
- Cooking + cleaning + yard work + errands + laundry = 1 full-time job (maybe more).
- Working your day job = 1 full-time job.
I’m not the math teacher in the family… but I mastered simple addition way back when, and I know 3 full-time jobs are more than even the highest over-achiever can accomplish day after day, week after week, year after year.
Keep trying to do them all, all the time, and you will burn out eventually.
The Solution:
My detailed 52-step process to eliminate burnout, completely transform your life, help you shed those last 10 pounds, and eliminate fine lines and wrinkles.
Just kidding! 🤗
The solution is simply to do less.
Look at your to-do list and pick 1 (or several) things to drop completely. Not push back until later — but totally cross off your list with no intention of doing them in the foreseeable future.
Yes, you’re allowed to do that!
Many years ago, I wrote a post about 5 choices we have when we’re short on time.
The 5 choices are:
- Get stressed out, worry, and lose sleep.
- Streamline the activities so they take less time.
- Steal time from another activity.
- Find someone else to do the tasks for you.
- Drop the tasks completely.
Obviously, #1 is a pretty poor choice. But out of the other 4 options, the least popular (and often the most difficult to do) is #5.
However, in my experience, dropping a task I don’t have time or energy for is SO freeing.
It’s often exactly what I need to bring balance back to my life.
It might be something as small as deciding not to vacuum, clean the bathrooms, or pull weeds on a particular day because it’s not 100% necessary and I know there are plenty of other more important things I could be doing with my time.
It might mean dropping my dinner plans and opting for frozen pizza because a child got sick and I know my current dinner plans would require extra time in the kitchen… which just isn’t feasible with a sick child.
Or it might be as big as dropping a long-term business or life goal or project because our circumstances changed and we no longer have the time, energy, desire, finances, etc. to devote to that particular goal or project.
Over the years, Dave and I have dropped several activities in order to create more balance and make time for what’s most important to us at that point in our lives — family, home renovations, work projects, etc.
Certainly, there are obligations we can’t just drop (our jobs, our families, and laundry to name a few).
But if we’re honest, many of the to-dos on our list are things we allow ourselves to feel pressured or guilted into doing… or maybe it’s just me?
We must finish cleaning the bathrooms because it’s been exactly 1 week since we last cleaned them.
We must make all foods from scratch because that’s what everyone says is best.
We must join the ________ committee because we technically could squeeze it into our schedule.
We must take on another project at work because we don’t want to look like a slacker.
We must send out holiday cards every year because we’ve always done it.
We must bake fancy treats for our kids’ school because the other parents do this.
We must exercise 5 days a week and eat a certain way because it’s healthy.
We must use coupons and save money in every area of life because we want to be good stewards of our resources.
I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea.
Stop.
Think about all the things you do each day.
What can you drop (today) to create a bit more balance in your life?
Dave and I have become pros at this over the past few years. This is one reason we can (usually) manage the constant ebb and flow of family life, home maintenance, teaching, blogging, etc.
We get it!
Balancing that triangle of home, family, and work is tricky business.
We’ve had more than a few seasons of life when our triangle is very acute or obtuse, with much more time and energy devoted to parenting, house projects, or our day jobs.
And if I’m honest, our triangle is rarely ever a nice neat equilateral with perfectly even sides and angles.
Real life just isn’t THAT easy.
Speaking for myself though, whenever I finally “give in” and drop a task, I feel an instant sense of relief!
Dave is really great at pointing out when I could (and probably should) drop something in favor of less busyness and more time. If you have someone like this in your life, LISTEN TO THEM!
Also, it’s worth noting that just because you drop a task for now, does not mean you’ll drop it FOREVER!
You might be in a season of life when that particular task or to-do doesn’t fit into your “triangle”. That’s OK.
There will be time to pick it back up again in the future (if you want to).
What do you think? Are you ready to enjoy a more balanced life?
marcia says
When our children were younger, we limited extra curricular activities. They had a choice – either piano lessons OR band at school. They were limited to playing in one sport PER YEAR (until our son’s classmates wrote us a letter, asking if he could play 2 – I still have that letter almost 15 years later!)
Andrea says
This sounds like a great system (and what a lovely gesture by your son’s friends!)
Carol says
Happy Anniversary.
Meghan says
When we had our third child (five years ago!), I dropped cooking everything from scratch and using no convenience or processed foods. My kids sometimes eat pop tarts now, and I’ll make a casserole with cream of chicken soup. Having to use less mental energy and time on providing my family with all natural/ whole foods all of the time is a must for me right now and probably will be for the foreseeable future. With everyone home all of the time because of COVID, I serve about 95 meals per week. Andrea, you are probably even higher than that!
Andrea says
oh my word — I’ve honestly NEVER thought about how many individual meals I make each week!
I just added it up and it’s around 120 meals per week — and nearly 100 snacks per week (morning, afternoon, bedtime)
Sigh… that makes me tired just thinking about it!
Meghan says
Ack! Sorry I mentioned it! But moms out there – if you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything at home (especially if you have really little ones) write down all the meals you’ve provided over the last week and cross them off like Andrea suggests in her “done” list. That will put it in perspective – you have done so much!
Hannah Reid says
This is a great concept. Thanks for sharing!
And I love the picture of the new den space being used!
Andrea says
Thanks Hannah! And yes, we are LOVING the new den 🙂
Mary says
Are new blog posts added on a schedule?
Andrea says
Hi Mary,
I’m on my summer blogging break right now — but I’m still sending out emails. If you’d like to get the content I send out to my email community, you can do that here. Thanks!
Cheryl Wetherington says
Happy Anniversary!!!
Andrea says
Thanks, Cheryl!
Donna Marsh says
Thanks for the great reminder that we don’t have to do all, be all, all the time! Too much stress!
Have a happy anniversary!
Andrea says
Yes, it’s a reminder we can ALL use from time to time!
Fleur says
Such a simple message, but so powerful. This super helpful advice, that isn’t often the focus of productivity experts x
Andrea says
Thanks so much!! Simple advice — that’s my goal!
Barbara says
It’s a small household here. I have decided to drop meal planning. Instead, I posted a Food Inventory page on the refrigerator, with notes on what to do (example: raw beets : roast in foil) or the “use by” date. It helps that refrigerated food is in clear containers, easily seen.
I used to spend at least 1 hour per week planning meals, only to change them as circumstances changed.
This will work for a home with 1 or 2 people; but probably not for a larger group.
Andrea says
sounds like a good system — and good for you for going “against the grain” and doing what works best for YOU!
Ashley Orfe says
I think not being so stringent about cleaning the house is an activity I can relax in. I’ve done that a bit this past month and while I love cleanliness, it’s not always the best way to spend my time if I have other more important things to do!
Andrea says
yup, this is exactly how I feel right now too. I love a clean house (and I actually enjoy cleaning) but it’s not always the best use of my time right now!
Lydia Senn says
Yes! Sometimes you just have to cross stuff off your list.
Andrea says
exactly!! I love crossing off my to-do’s (even if it’s just because I’ve decided NOT to do them!)
Mary in Mayland says
This year we skipped Christmas cards and all the decorations except the little candles in the windows. We had neighbors over for breakfast on Christmas morning and another set for lunch on New Year’s Day. My backup plan for meals is a diced potato microwaved with some broccoli and dressed with garlic, mustard, and oil. Takes two minutes prep time and six minutes in the oven
Eileen says
Having a “nice” frozen pizza in the freezer at all times is VERY important, lol. It’s a very good “bail out” dinner to have around when you might need it. It’s actually comforting to know it’s there when you are looking at the week ahead…just in case.
Andrea says
yes definitely! We always have at least 2 frozen pizzas in the freezer. I actually blogged about this concept a few years ago — just knowing they are in the freezer “just in case” and having a “kitchen free meal” ready to go is very assuring for me!
Mandi says
So good, Andrea! I did a lot of task dropping over the holiday season—both things like Christmas cards, which we do almost every year but decided not to do this year, AND dropping entire activities to simplify our schedule for the spring semester. It’s made a huge difference in my sanity level, and I’m so glad I did!
Andrea says
yes yes, the holidays are a fantastic time to drop a few tasks!