About a month ago, a reader asked me: “If you ever wrote a parenting book, what would it be called and what advice would you give?”
My response (after I literally laughed out loud) was: “I don’t think I’d ever write a book on parenting, but if I did, I really don’t know what I’d say.”
We chatted back and forth through a few more emails… and after pondering her questions for a bit, I actually think I’d have a lot to say. It wouldn’t be the advice you’d find in a typical parenting book, but I have a feeling it would help A LOT of first-time parents who feel lost in their new shoes.
So, since Nora’s THIRD birthday is tomorrow (yes, she’s 3!), I figured now would be the perfect time to share what I’d say if I ever wrote a parenting book — which I doubt will ever happen!
Big-Picture Parenting
How common sense and long-term thinking saved my sanity as a mom.
By: Andrea Dekker
Dedicated to:
Nora: For teaching me, the hard way, that no parenting book can ever have all the answers.
Simon: For showing me how enjoyable motherhood can be when you don’t try to follow someone else’s rules.
and Dave: For humoring me and reading ALL those parenting books before our first baby was born… and then completely disregarding them only a few months later.
My Intro Page would describe my initiation into motherhood, and how big-picture parenting was one of the only things that saved my sanity those first couple of years.
I would also make it very clear that I personally would never suggest reading a parenting book and actually expecting it to work for your own child — especially the books written by men who were never the primary caregivers for their own children. Many of these books contain pieces of helpful information, but none of the information should be taken at face-value or assumed that it’s the “only right way” for you, your child, or your family.
There are MANY “right ways”.
If’ you are a parent, I’m sure you do many things differently than Dave and I do — and that’s perfectly OK. It might take a while to find your “right way” — and even when you find your “right way” it’s OK to not always do it the right way every single time. Babies and toddlers are very resilient, so one mess up on your part most likely won’t matter in the big picture of life.
And speaking of the “big picture” — that brings me to the main point of this post (I mean… my fictitious parenting book!)
Big-Picture Parenting
When it comes to parenting, I’ve had a 3-year crash course with one of the toughest instructors around — my 3 year old, highly-anxious, overly-sensitive, never-slept-through-the-night little girl. Her mission in life, from day one, has been to teach me (over and over and over again) that the advice in any given parenting book can’t possibly work for every single child.
When I think back on my first 3 years of motherhood, “Survival” is usually one of the first words that comes to mind. I’m humbled to admit many of the crazy things Dave and I did in attempts to make it through one more day or one more night with Nora.
Of course, when we were in the thick of the no eating, no sleeping, never being willing to leave my side for 5 minutes, everything seemed awful — and honestly, it was awful. However, one of the main reasons everything felt so awful and stressful and “wrong” was because I was trying to take advice from everyone else with kids who had no separation anxiety and no sensitivity issues.
Looking back, it’s no surprise that out of the hundreds and hundreds of tips and pieces of advice we received, absolutely none of them worked… NONE!
Once we finally learned more about her “high-needs” personality and her super sensitivity to food textures, I started researching it on my own. At that point, I realized that basically everything I had been doing for the first 18 months of her life (essentially trying to make the parenting books work for me) was hurting us WAY more than it was helping.
I was trying to fit Nora into a mold that she most definitely didn’t fit into, and in the process, causing so much unneeded stress for our entire family.
I was so worried about breaking “the rules” in those ridiculous parenting books instead of just giving in and doing what I knew in my heart was best for Nora and best for me.
From the moment I realized this, I stopped worrying about what anyone else thought was the “right way” for me, for my child, and for my family.
I also started thinking “big-picture”.
Let me explain…
SLEEPING:
Nora refused to sleep in her crib. Absolutely REFUSED. She would scream until she threw up every time we put her in the crib. Because of this, she usually slept on my chest or in my arms (on the couch) — which of course, is a huge ‘no-no’ in those parenting books.
At 6 months old, she started sleeping in her carseat, and at 10 months old, she moved into a twin bed. Yes, a 10 month old baby in a twin bed (without a guard rail — and she never fell out!)
Oh, and did I forget to mention that I had to sleep with Nora for part or all of EVERY SINGLE NIGHT from 10 months – 26 months (at which point Dave took over because Simon was born and I was up at night with him!)
Only recently has she started sleeping for most of the night by herself. However, if I’m really honest, one of us usually ends up in her bed for at least part of every night because we’re just too stinkin’ tired to walk up and down our stairs one more time.
To the lucky parents with angelic babies who slept through the night at 8 weeks old, I’m certain you think we’re insane — and that’s OK. I promise, we’ve tried whatever “sure-fire sleeping tricks” you’re going to suggest. They didn’t work!
My Big-Picture Thought Process: “We absolutely must sleep, so who cares where or how. In another 15 years, she’ll be in to college and keeping someone else awake at night! And also, if the fact that she doesn’t sleep much is her biggest downfall, we have a lot to be thankful for.”
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EATING:
Nora loved to eat… she ate a lot… but only from me.
She ate every 2 hours ALL day and night long for months and months and months. She refused all bottles. She refused all sippy cups. She refused all baby food. She refused all solid food. She gagged and threw up and screamed and choked if anything was put in her mouth besides breast milk straight from the source.
This meant that for 18 months, I couldn’t go anywhere for more than a couple hours without Nora being so hungry and upset that she would sob uncontrollably until I got back.
At the time, it was so awful. I hated being so confined and at times, I honestly felt like my life was over (totally dramatic, I know!)
I was finally able to stop nursing her around 21 months and words can not describe how amazing I felt (minus all the morning sickness from being pregnant with Simon already!)
Once she finally started eating, she would eat Kraft Mac & Cheese or strawberry yogurt for almost every meal — oh, and she really loved chips, hot dogs, cookies, fruit snacks, and marshmallows too 🙂
To the foodie parents who never let a grain of sugar or morsel of processed food touch your baby’s lips, I’m certain you think we’re horrible — and that’s OK. Until you have exclusively nursed a baby (completely against your will) for almost 2 years and have gone through 2 rounds of expensive food therapy, I’ll let you keep your judgement to yourself.
My Big-Picture Thought Process: “She’s eating food… I don’t care what, as long as she’s eating something that doesn’t come from my body! Eventually, there will be time to introduce more foods, but for now, food is food is food.”
Side note: Nora is now scarfing down tons of fruits, veggies, meats, cheese, and lots of much healthier options! And also, nursing for 2 years definitely wasn’t the worst experience of my life — it just seemed like forever when there was no end in sight.
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SCHEDULES and ROUTINES
You all know that babies most definitely need to sleep, then eat, then play — in that order, and only that order, all day long. Also, never feed your baby more than every 4 hours. Never!
This supposedly “perfect way to get your baby on a schedule” worked for me and Nora for about the first 4 hours after she was born. After that, I spent MONTHS stressing and agonizing over the fact that we weren’t following the right schedule. We weren’t doing what the books said we should do — and certainly, that was why she cried all day long and never slept.
If only I could get her on a schedule. Then everything would be perfect. And honestly, how hard can it possibly be for me, Andrea Dekker, organizing queen, to get a tiny baby on a schedule?
It took 2.5 years to finally bring about some sort of routine to Nora’s day — and I can tell you with 100% certainty, there was NOTHING I did to facilitate that change.
To the Type-A parents who had your babies on a schedule from day one, I’m certain you think we’re doing something wrong — and that’s OK. I both envy you and secretly hate you all at the same time… and I can assure you, we’ve tried all the tips in your favorite Type-A parenting books. I desperately wanted them to work for us… but they didn’t.
My Big-Picture Thought Process: “After 3 years, I basically know what she wants and needs all the time so a schedule isn’t entirely necessary as long as I’m around. Is it ideal? No. But are we making it work? Yup! She’s alive, I’m alive, we’re happy and healthy, and soon enough, she’ll be in school all day on someone else’s schedule.”
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So Big-Picture Parenting… what do you think?
I’ll be expecting emails and phone calls from various big-name publishers to be piling up in my inbox any day now 🙂
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All kidding aside, after 3 years of wearing my “mom hat”, I can honestly say that Big-Picture Parenting was what saved my sanity and pushed out so much fear and doubt from my mind.
Yes, I literally sobbed when I found out I was pregnant with Simon as I truly didn’t know if I could do it all again — but thankfully, Simon has been so much easier than Nora, not to mention I have a completely different thought process the second time around.
If you are a parent or caregiver to small children (or any age children) and you feel like you are constantly doing everything “wrong”… I can almost assure you that you’re not!
Just keep surviving, keep trying, keep learning, and keep thinking “big-picture”.
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One last tip…
Get REALLY good at smiling and nodding.
You’ll need to do this many times every day when (mostly) well-meaning friends, family, parents at the park, grocery cashiers, gutter installers, mechanics, and basically all other strangers tell you what “always worked” with their kids.
Oh yeah, and “enjoy every moment… because they grow up so fast!” 😉
Kelly says
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Great words of wisdom. 🙂
Jennifer says
Thank you, Andrea, for being REAL. I have always liked to play by the book and with parenting we FINALLY figured out that we just needed to “write our own”. (It took us a few years longer than you. LOL) Thanks for the encouragement. Happy Thanksgiving.
April says
Loved it Andrea. My daughter (19 now) would only sleep in her swing. We went through roughly one set of batteries every week and two swings! This went on until she was 8 months old and the “experts” thought we were awful, but it worked. I didn’t have internet in those days so I thought I was the only person in the history of the world who couldn’t get their baby to sleep. It would have been nice to hear from other struggling moms back then.
Andrea says
wow! that’s awesome that she slept in the swing (yes, we tried that too but no luck for us)
And yes, the internet has been an awesome support and resource for me!
MrsD says
This is your best post yet 🙂
I would buy your book!
Andrea says
haha –thanks!
Zala says
Thank you. I needed to hear it. Thank you.
Annette says
Gid bless you! I thought my son was hard (and he was).
Also, when did you have time to get pregnant again??
Anita says
Our middle of three was our sensitive one…she’s in University now, doing her social work degree and I promise nobody there has ever wondered how long she slept with her parents…for many years, by the way! She decided when she was about 6 years old that she had ‘big feelings’ and that was a great way for her to understand why things were more intense for her. She has grown up well, all the better perhaps for being such a lovely sensitive young woman. If it’s any consolation, her adolescence was a breeze compared to the early years, and her easy going angel-baby older sister was a great big teenage challenge. Ahhh, i’m okay to be through those years, but love your ‘big picture’ approach. I ended up calling ours ‘lazy parenting’, because I just wasn’t willing to fight about everything. Keep up the good work!
Rebecca G says
You have no idea how encouraging your story has been for me lately. My daughter is 15 months old, sleeps 1-2 solid hours at night and 3-4 restless ones – and *only* if we are near her or holding her. We have never been so tired and stressed out… She cries so much we thought she was teething at 6 weeks old – and now all these months later we realize that it’s just her! A happy, healthy, miserable baby! Reading your story reminds me that it will get better someday. Even if my idea of better is still considered a torture method in some countries.
Andrea says
Oh Rebecca — so sorry to hear about your struggles. It’s so exhausting… but at the same time, there’s nothing you can do. You can’t not be her mom anymore!
At the time, the fact that Nora wouldn’t sleep in a crib was SOOO frustrating; but looking back, that was actually our saving grace. The fact that we were able to sleep with her in the twin bed (eventually, we got her a queen bed) was the ONLY thing that allowed us all to get some sleep. Yes, that meant that Dave and I never slept in the same bed for months and months and months — but in our opinion, it was totally worth it.
Just do whatever you need to do to stay sane and get some sleep (it really is survival when you’re THAT tired) and don’t worry about what anyone else says. It’s honestly impossible to comprehend the desperation someone with months of no sleep feels unless you’ve been there (and most people have not been there!)
Let’s chat again in 25 years when our kids have babies and see how great everyone is sleeping then 🙂
Sonia says
The best parenting advice I received when my baby was born 7 months ago:
The baby will be fine!
Kim says
As the mom of 3 kids who are nearly 23, 20, and 17 and the Grammy to the sweetest one-year-old ever (no, I’m not biased), I’d say you nailed it. 🙂 Parenting books have their place, but too many people take them as gospel truth. The truth is that each child is different and each family situation is different and the dynamics keep changing as children grow and new kids enter the family. Just when I thought I had it figured out something changed. My mom always reminded me that kids don’t read parenting books so they aren’t going to do what the books say they should. 🙂 Blessings to you as you parent your sweet kids!
Angie Walters says
Hi Andrea! I LOVED this article. I have learned many of these lessons the hard way too–and am still learning now that we are hitting the teen years in my house. I think it really rings true that in the end you have to trust your ‘mama bear” voice inside and go with what you think is best for YOUR child. These parenting experts have never met you and your child. They do not understand your situation and particular issues. The only thing they could be could for is to find some coping skills and different things to try…but to feel like we have to parent by certain rules and stick to specific do’s and don’ts is really stressful and can create more problems.
This is a big change in thinking for me over the years. I remember when my first son was interested in potty training I told someone, ” But I am not ready yet, I haven’t read the books on it”. This makes me laugh now…but I am a “by the books” kind of person. I am glad my children have taught me to trust myself.
I continue to tweak our training with MomsBloom volunteers to emphasize that they should encourage moms to trust their intuition and listen to their baby’s needs. I am going to share this article with our volunteers! Thank you so much for sharing!
Warmly,
Angie
Andrea says
Thanks Angie! And just an FYI, working with MomsBloom was one of the FEW resource that made me feel more empowered and more confident in my mothering abilities 🙂
Jenny says
Your honesty is so refreshing (especially nowadays when so many try to look like everything is perfect). My first child was/ is so much like Nora. My daughter is 18 years old now – still “high needs, etc.” but so capable with many strong, beautiful qualities. I hope Nora has a very special 3rd birthday …. And “yay” for you & Dave being parents for 3 years. God bless.
lydia @ Five4FiveMeals says
The cover to your book would be hilarious. Also, I would read it. I have a friend going through something similar to what you went through with Nora (funny, my friend’s name is also Andrea!!!). I keep referring her to you. She says it’s like reading sanity.
Andrea says
haha — I know! I think designing the cover would be one of the most fun parts of the entire book 🙂
Thanks for sharing my blog with your other Andrea friend — glad to be “sharing sanity” with her too!
Chalyse Meiklejohn says
Okay so after reading this post this morning, I started a book called “Set-Apart Motherhood” by Leslie Ludy. And I finished it already! (Quick read – great book) I already commented on this post but had to come back and comment again. I feel like if you were to write a book about motherhood, you would write one more like Leslie’s book. If you haven’t read it, do! There is a chapter about keeping your home organized to be a better mother which totally reminded me of you, especially when she mentioned making your bed each day! 😉
Andrea says
Sounds like I have something to add to my reading list… I mean, any woman who religiously makes her bed every day MUST have something good to say 🙂
Survival Parent says
Baby number 1 was so easy for me. He was sleeping through the night by 8 weeks because I did everything that a Baby Wise parent should do.
Baby number 2 was supposed to be easy too. I did the same thing as with #1, but nothing worked like the books had promised. He didn’t start sleeping through the night until 8 months old, and that was because we put him in the basement to cry it out for a few weeks. Survival at it’s finest, folks.
Now expecting baby number 3. All expectations are out the window.
Haven’t had a full nights rest in over a month due to #1 and #2 now having to share a room. Someone is always waking the other one up. Thankfully they both have large beds, because I just never know who I’m going to end up sleeping with that night. With all that, I’m choosing to find joy in parenting. It is a conscious decision I make every. single. day. Not all days are fun, but each day there really IS something to be thankful for.
Abbey says
I think you should write a book!! I’d recommend it to all my new mommy friends, that’s for sure.
I have a daughter 6months younger than your Nora (and a second a bit younger than Simon), and I’ve appreciated every one of your posts! Our first has some of those high-needs as Nora, I would be rich if I had even a penny for every time someone tried to tell me how to “fix” the problem! Our second is easier in some ways, but I think it’s mostly that we’ve thrown all the parenting books and advice out the window. 😉 Your posts on parenting do a great job encouraging other moms who just need to be told they’re doing alright!
Andrea says
Thanks Abbey! I think you’re exactly right — part of the reason the 2nd is easier is because we are more confident and less worried about what everyone else thinks 🙂
Lee Cockrum says
Great post!! I’d recommend your “book” to any parent!! I’d say that reading books are not a bad idea, as they can give you ideas to try, and some may work. But as soon as anyone says that their way, or their product “works for everyone”, I am immediately suspicious, as nothing works for everyone!!
Siobhan says
Ahh! Love this post! As a mom of 3 little ones…I couldn’t have said it better myself 🙂
Laura says
I wish that your ‘book’ had been around when I was finding that every other parenting bookended in failure! I eventually landed on the same big picture view and thankfully she got happy somewhere between three and four. At five and a half she is an absolute delight!
ShellyL says
I must admit, I also tried to think big-picture when I was in the thick of the baby stage. I would think things like, “He will not graduate from high school still sleeping in my bed” or “She won’t still have her pacifier at prom.” “This, too, shall pass” is cliche, but true. Now, I have to remember to think of this when some of these “big-kid” phases aren’t a whole lot of fun because they do pass quickly. Good thought process and kudos to you for sharing.
Andrea says
Yes Shelly — I OFTEN think, she won’t need us to sleep in her bed forever.
Although 3 years of no sleeping sometimes seems like forever, it has to change at some point 🙂
Leslie Honcoop says
My first child busted all my boxes about parenting as well. I grew up as a compliant child, and was flummoxed at the little boy whose 1 year old motto was “Make me”. I wasted so much time thinking I must be doing it wrong for him to be that way. I spent so much energy worrying that he had to change to become a productive human being. Finally, I got the big picture, as you say. I found out that I needed to change, and get out of my little boxes in which I had life all figured out. This changed my parenting — and my whole life. I’m grateful for the hard times now…God had a much greater plan. By His grace, my 3 children are productive, capable adults of good character, and my husband and I have grown in character as well!
Indeed, we would be wise to always seek the big picture in the day-to-day.
Thanks for sharing your experiences so honestly. I don’t doubt that it will be great encouragement to many moms struggling their way through the everydays.
Kimberley says
Kudos to you for not feeling “ashamed” in any way to post about these things!!! Why should you!?!?! You have beautiful children and you are doing it the best way that works for you, your husband and your family!
I have run into lots of people that pass judgement on us for the way we have dealt with our son’s sleeping issues. From birth until around 18 months, he did a fabulous job of sleeping in his own bed! We felt so “lucky” since a lot of people said they struggled with this. At 18 months, however, he woke up in the middle of the night screaming and would not lay back down, for about a week we tried everything…every little trick and nothing worked! So, since then he has been sleeping with us…yes, it’s not the ideal solution that he sleeps in our bed and refuses to sleep alone but as you said…in the grand scheme of things, he is happy and healthy and that is what we need to be grateful for. Besides, he won’t be in our bed much longer, I am sure, he often mentions his own bed so I can see him sleeping alone soon.
Laura says
AMEN!!! I could not agree more with everything you said. You seem like an amazing mother to your two blessings. Nora may be a little stinker, but she is the cutest thing ever. Love all of your pics of your family 🙂 Happy Birthday NORA!!!
Courtney says
I just wanted to sympathize with your sleep troubles and share not a suggestion, but a word of hope. My oldest is 4 and was a similar sleeper to your stories about Nora. My husband or I would often fall asleep on her bed beside her at night, then be back in 2 or 3 more times over night. The night she turned 4, she told us she needed snuggled only one more night. Since her birthday September 22, we have not had to snuggle her to sleep. We read a Bible story on her bed, smother her with hugs and kisses, then leave, and SHE FALLS ASLEEP! She totally bought in to the idea on her own, and it has worked EVERY NIGHT! She is still occasionally awake in the night, but a quick kiss usually gets her back to sleep. I know how everyone’s suggestions feel, so I hope you take this as an offer of hope.
Andrea says
Thanks Courtney. We have been telling Nora that once she turns 3, she can’t sleep with Mom and Dad because that’s not what 3 year olds do. So….. we’ll see how tonight goes and if she believes us or not 🙂
ShellyL says
Great post! I love it. I will read your parenting book even if it’s just for empathy and laughs. Not to downplay your struggle in any way, but I’m sure you know how lucky you are. You have beautiful, healthy children and I enjoy seeing your pics and updates.
Chalyse Meiklejohn says
I’ve followed your blog since before Nora was born and I just want to say I have major respect for you! I know parenting is so hard sometimes and just reading about your stresses, sorry to say, helps me get through the day sometimes! To know another Type A organized mother like myself has “bad days” makes me know all will be okay in the end. Obviously this is not intended to offend but you sound like you have it a lot harder than most moms I know with Nora being so high needs. So if you can get through each day alive, so can I! Obviously you have moments, days, weeks, maybe months when you just want to cry and give up but I have so much respect for you for all you do to make Nora the happy little girl she is. Happy (almost) 3rd birthday, Nora!!! <3
Debby says
Once again Bravo. Reminding me so much of my younger daughter except for the nursing part. We are sure she is part cling on. She would litterally never be more than a few steps away from me at any given time. I would knock her into the cabinets with my rear end all the time. She would hold herself up against my legs and stick her head under my shirt while I did dishes and made dinner. I would jokingly tell my husband I thought she wanted to go back to the womb but she was way too big. My husband and I had to “way” (lay) spooning her every night from 3-5 yrs old, until she fell asleep. Well, she’s almost 17, brilliant, athletic, beautiful and still very strong willed and I wouldn’t have her any other way. And I would love to “way” with her for a little bit now but she’s having none of that these days 🙂 . So take it all in and try to live in the moment because time fleets by. Stay warm in Western Michigan and we will in Northeast Ohio.
Noelle says
i can relate so so so much! Our first is similar to Nora. She defied all the parenting books. I felt duped and stupid and incapable when people offered advice or I read those Type-A parenting books. I also cried when I discovered I was pregnant again. Now, two months in to having baby two around, I am again realizing how challenging our first really was. Baby two is laid back and not highly sensitive. God knows what we can handle. Bless you for your honesty!
Nancy says
I love this. I’m not super-type A, and parenting has made me even less so. But my oldest didn’t do anything “by the book” so we just had to put the books away! You know what they say about the first pancake, right? It never turns out quite right!
Nancy says
Oops, part of my comment got deleted: my first “pancake” (age 14) and yours are both turning out just fine!
Erin H. says
Thank You! While I just have a 7.5 month old I thought that I was doing EVERYTHING wrong from day 1. She wasn’t on a schedule, she did’t sleep well in the crib. I didn’t think it would end and I thought I was doing everything wrong (according to the books).
I like hearing from other mothers that the books don’t make it easier and you just have to learn things on your own!
Shannon says
Awesome post! Survival is right – sometimes you have to do what works for the little one and your family, even if others don’t agree with what you’re doing. You would probably have a best selling book on your hands if you did write it!
Emily says
Oh I loved this! As a mama of four kiddos I can so relate!! 🙂 I love your big picture parenting and perspective. God gives us so much grace in parenting, especially with that first one as we’re trying desperately to figure this thing out. Happy Birthday to Nora! She is precious and is obviously thriving. Keep up the good work mama!!
Jennifer says
I’m saving this wisdom for when I have my own children some day, if it happens!
In talking to friends who have young children, the saddest thing to me is that so many of them feel that they can’t trust their own judgment. I have so many conversations with mothers along these lines: ‘We’ve been doing X, and it’s really working for our family, but…’ and then the reason they feel they shouldn’t be doing it! Either because someone said so, the book said so, no one else does it that way, etc. But they’ve just said it’s working for them!
So one thing that stood out to me in your post is that parents CAN trust their own judgment and wisdom! If/when I have kids, I certainly hope someone reminds me of that.
Jessica says
I would read your book!! Your kids are beautiful and I love your attitude and approach to raising them. A refreshing change to the pile of parenting books I’ve thrown into the trash over the last 4 years. 🙂
Priyanka says
Let me start out by saying before having my son, Neil (who is just like Nora 🙂 ) I was judgmental about moms in a very naive and stupid way. And then when he kept himself and me up for 18 months of his life, I realized what an idiot I was to ever judge anyone. In my opinion all parents should have one high needs baby, this and only this will bring about more acceptance and understanding between us moms as a community. I have been judged to no ends by family, friends, co-workers, bosses who thought I was BAD at managing my child since their kids slept through the night at 6weeks.
I think we could exchange just fantastic notes about parenting (and all the advises associate with it) if we ever met 🙂
Bianca says
let me know when the book is printed, k? I promiss to read it NOT so I can follow your rules. Hey, I’ll even translate it to Dutch for you.
Jenny says
Love it. Honestly. I wish your blog was around before I started having my kids(my oldest is 14 now). but it took me until baby number 5 to realize exactly what you are saying in this post. So good for you for figuring it out early on, and my 4th has the same sensory issues as your daughter.
And for the record, I would buy anything you published. Your blog is hands down my favorite. I get up very early to get my oldest ones on the bus and anxiously wait until 8:00 when I can read your new post!
You are just so refreshing. and anything you have personally recommended has been spot on. I love your “favorite things” posts for that reason.
thanks for this blog! have a wonderful Thanksgiving next week.
Dana says
Great post! I truly can’t imagine going through all of that and making it work somehow. My advice to new parents is the nod and smile and then move on. 🙂 . My only other advice I give is trust your mommy/daddy instinct, your know your baby and yourself. People were raising babies long before parenting books came along.
And our first didn’t like meat at all and our pediatrician told us to feed her hot dogs. I was kind of shocked! But she eats meat now, so it worked out in the end.
Michele says
I love this! It is so easy to get muddled in the details when stepping back and seeing the whole thing really is very wise. I especially loved your line about staying on a schedule for the first four hours after Nora was born. =)
Kudos to you and your family! If you ever do write that book, let us all know. I would love to read it! 😉
Julie spade says
i love you and your way of thinking! Period!