Easy, age-appropriate chores for kids — with a free printable (so you always have a suggestion when your child complains of being bored!)
As our children get older, I receive more and more questions about chores…
- What chores do our kids do?
- Do we use chore charts?
- Do we give allowances?
- What ages do we start chores?
- Do we have certain days for family cleaning?
I’ll be honest, for someone who really likes a clean house, I’ve always had a fairly relaxed approach to chores.
We’ve tried different things throughout the years, but currently, we…
- don’t have a chore chart
- do give our kids a monthly allowance
- don’t pay them for specific tasks
- do expect them to regularly help out around the house
- don’t spend our weekends cleaning 🥳
Chores Aren’t Our Ultimate Goal
Before I get too far into this post about chores for kids, I want to preface it by saying that my children’s ability to do specific chores adequately is not our ultimate goal.
As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t place much value on how many household tasks my kids do each week. Of course, I want them to eventually know how to do basic household skills like laundry, dishes, cleaning the toilets, pulling weeds, and cooking BUT that’s not my main goal.
The most important thing for me is my child’s willingness to pitch in to create a home we all love spending time in and to acknowledge the effort required to maintain a clean and organized home.
Some of our children are closer to this goal than others on any given day… it’s always a work in progress! 😊
So, if the thought of implementing chores, making a cute chore chart, downloading the latest App, coming up with prizes, doling out allowances, or nagging your children (for the 300th time) to make their beds stresses you out, I encourage you to take a step back and think about your main goals.
- Do you really care if your child makes his bed right this minute… or do you just want him to know how to make his bed and respect you enough to listen when you ask him to do something?
- Do you really care if your child packs her own lunch by age 8… or do you just want her to know how to pack a balanced lunch and appreciate the effort and cost involved in getting the food she eats each day?
- Are you actually burdened by the heavy load of housework (you might be) and need your family to help out… or do you simply want your family to be united in their efforts to create a clean and enjoyable space to spend time together?
In talking to many moms over the years, I’ve realized the issue often isn’t the actual chore, but the heart attitude behind the chore.
Yes, we want our homes to be neat and clean, but more than that, we want our families to notice our efforts, appreciate what we do around the house, and be a part of bettering our home and our family life by helping out around the house.
Am I right!?!
And yes, I realize how idyllic (maybe even impossible) that might sound!
So how do we get our kids to care?
Honestly, that might be the million-dollar question!
And I think the answer is multi-faceted… but for simplicity’s sake, I’ll break it down into 4 things that have made the most difference in our family.
1. Model desired behaviors consistently.
It’s not likely that your children will magically decide to clean and organize without ever seeing YOU clean or organize and without some training as to how to clean and organize.
This doesn’t mean that every lazy messy child is a product of a lazy messy parent… but it does mean that if you’re not willing to “walk the walk”, your kids might not be super eager to help out around the house either.
Take one week and teach your children how to scrub the floors or use a vacuum. Then the next week, show them how to clean a toilet or unload the dishwasher.
It doesn’t require much time, and you can offer rewards for positive attitudes if you think that would be helpful.
2. Use positive language around housework.
Would you rather do “chores” or would you rather do “activities that help our home to run more smoothly so we have a nice place to live”?
I type that with a smirk on my face… but I’m serious.
If we constantly begrudge cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc. our kids will have the same attitude toward housework.
But if we take pride in our homes and talk about the benefits of our efforts, they will start to see things in the same light.
Also, discuss what life would be like in your home without any maintenance — no clothes to wear, moldy food in the fridge, no dishes to eat with, dirty bathrooms, ants and bugs, etc.
It’s not a pretty picture!
3. Get their input.
Whenever possible, we like to give our kids options so they feel like they have a little input as to what they help out with.
We’ll explain that we don’t have time to do all the house/yard work AND play 3 games of whiffle ball with them… so if they want to play more whiffle ball, they can either:
- walk the dog
- pick the garden
- fold a load of laundry
- vacuum the upstairs
We let them decide who does what chore, everyone gets to work, then we play whiffle ball.
We know which chores our kids prefer, so whenever possible we try to provide options they get excited about.
4. Expect cooperation.
I know this sounds a bit optimistic as well (and it won’t happen overnight) but I do think we need to expect that our children will cooperate and put forth some effort once they know exactly what is expected of them and why it’s so important to us and to our family (children generally do want to be helpful).
Sometimes our children willingly help out around the house, sometimes they need to be reminded of our expectations, and sometimes they experience negative consequences for choosing not to cooperate and help out.
That’s just part of living together as a family… and I think children want to know that we will stand behind what we say and we won’t let them off the hook. They like being held accountable (even though they’d never admit this!)
60+ Chores Ideas for Kids of all ages
If you’re looking for a few age-appropriate ways to get kids involved in housework and chores, here are several ideas.
With a bit of helpful teaching and instruction, I feel confident that most children could fairly easily manage most of the chores listed below.
Ages 3+ — they really can help with a lot if you teach them!
- Get dressed
- Put PJ’s away
- Put dirty clothing in the hamper
- Hang up their wet towel in the bathroom
- Take their shoes off and put them away
- Brush their teeth
- Dust baseboards
- Wash walls with a damp rag
- Wipe down doorknobs
- Help you mop the floors
- Use a Swiffer to sweep (remove one of the poll sections to make it shorter)
- Feed a pet
- Play with a pet (inside or in a fenced-in yard)
- Bring their own plate to the counter once they are finished eating
- Put napkins out on the table
- Pair socks together
- Fold washcloths or small towels
- Water houseplants
- Put toys away in a designated bin or basket
- Stack books on a shelf
- Help wash the cars (or their bikes or scooters)
- Scrub anything (give them a little water and scrub brush and they are good for at least 15 minutes!)
- Help with full-house pickups (we do this every night before bed)
Ages 6+ — everything already mentioned above, and the following:
- Make their bed (I help with bunk beds!)
- Fold / sort the laundry
- Put their laundry away
- Keep their room and closet clean and picked up
- Wash windows or mirrors (this is the BEST cleaning cloth)
- Vacuum hard floors with a handheld vaccuum
- Set the table
- Clear the table
- Pick the vegetable garden
- Pull weeds (with help from mom)
- Refill their own water cup or bottle (if you have a fridge water dispenser)
- Pack their school snacks
- Unpack their backpacks and give me any paperwork they came home with
- Unpack their lunch bags and put their ice packs away
- Hang up their coat and put outdoor gear away when they come inside
- Do their own hair (boys start earlier than girls)
- Take a shower on their own
- Wipe down toilets and sinks
- Clean out the dishwasher (they set things on the counter if they can’t reach to put them away)
- Help out with farm chores (collecting eggs, hauling water/feed, etc.)
Ages 9+ — everything already mentioned above, and the following:
- Do their own laundry
- Put sheets back on their beds (after washing them)
- Declutter their own closets and bedrooms
- Vacuum carpeted areas
- Shake out rugs
- Mop the floor
- Load the dishwasher
- Do their homework
- Practice an instrument
- Take pets for a walk
- Wash and/or dry dishes
- Scrub the tub or shower
- Make / pack their lunch
- Meal prep and simple baking
- Sweep out the garage
- Power wash the sidewalk or deck (with proper instruction)
- Help spread mulch
- Mow the lawn (or at least help)
Eventually, “chores” become habits…
After years of teaching, reminding, and expecting our kids to do these daily and weekly “chores” they have become habitual. Our children do most of the tasks listed above without much complaint, often without even being asked — and it’s not because they are all angelic or because Dave and I are such great parents. It’s simply repetition.
Of course, if the kids have the option to play with neighbor friends or put away their laundry, they would choose neighbor friends — but they know we expect them to put their laundry away first, that it only takes a few minutes to do, and that when they are finished, they can play with their friends for a long time.
I suppose it’s a little like putting their seatbelts on in the car — they just do it without question or complaint because it’s what’s been expected of them for so long and it’s what they see modeled for them each day.
There’s no choice, it’s not up for discussion… if you’re in the van, you wear your seatbelt because that’s how we stay safe, and as parents, we want our children to stay safe — just like we want our children to enjoy living in a clean and welcoming home environment.
I don’t say any of this to bash chore charts — if they work well for your family then keep at it! (Also, feel free to share what works for you in the comments so others can benefit.)
I’m simply offering a different perspective — one that puts less pressure on the chores themselves and focuses more on the hearts of our children.
Just spend some time with your kids. Explain how much you value them and that you want to create a nice space for your family to spend time together.
Let them think of ways they can pitch in and help out (I have one kid that literally begs me to “let them scrub toilets”!) — thus alleviating some of your load and allowing you more time to spend together.
Our kids’ chore accomplishments are not the most important feature on our parenting resume (especially if they are doing the chores with a negative begrudging attitude).
I’m convinced that if our children feel a sense of ownership in the state of our home and pride in working together as a family for one common goal, they will be more eager to help out now, AND more likely to have a positive attitude regarding housework moving into adulthood.
Your future children-in-law will thank you someday! 🥰
Download the free printable:
Download it here (it’s totally free!), then post it on your fridge to remind you of all those little things your kiddos can help with. It’s also a great solution anytime they complain of being bored!
More Related Articles
- 10 Ways Your Toddler Can “Help” Around the House
- 60 Simple Tasks Children Can Do Each Day
- Tips to Encourage a Cleaner, More Organized Family
- 5 Responses for Children Who Are “Bored”
- How to Handle a Messy Spouse (or children)
- Why Parents Shouldn’t Worry About Fair and Equal
- Don’t Let Housework Hurt Your Relationships
- An Attitude of Hospitality Toward Our Family
What are your best tips for teaching children to love or at least appreciate housework?
Dallas Noe says
So helpful! I appreciate all your posts! Thanks for sharing!
Karla says
I do want my children (ages 12, 15 and 17) to help out around the house because it’s part of becoming a responsible adult. However, my other main purpose was because I was drowning. About 5 year ago, I found myself constantly stressed out and scrambling. I teach full time, volunteer at church and spend many evenings and weekends driving my kids around to all their sports and activities. I was never able to relax or do anything fun with my kids. I was always rushing around and stressed out.
I sat them down and told them that if they wanted me to be a more relaxed fun mom, they needed to start helping out more. Every weekday, kids are assigned to walk the dog, empty the dishwasher, help make supper and do the supper dishes. Every weekend, the floors, bathrooms, dusting etc. get done. Also, they all started doing their own laundry around age 10. As teenage schedules get busier (jobs, way more homework) it is sometimes a struggle, but we try to be flexible and overall, it works.
Andrea says
sounds like you have a really good system going with your kids — good for you! I love that you made a point to explain that if they helped you, you would be more available to them 🙂
Meghan says
Great post!!! Our kids are almost 16, almost 13, and 7. They do the same “chores” as you listed for your kids. I don’t call them chores – those are basic living requirements. I don’t refer to any housework as chores. In addition, we just expect them to help out when asked. My older son does the trash, my middle, the dishwasher, and they take turns cleaning the cat boxes. They also fold and put away their laundry. My youngest helps out and cleans up her craft messes and cleans her room. My oldest kids especially are great at cleaning and organizing. I think they appreciate the value of a neat space. We do have a house cleaner who comes twice a month. I make it clear that they need to respect the way she helps our family by keeping things tidy between cleanings. She does take the summer off – then we all pitch in with vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms, etc.
Lisa says
This “activity” list is very impressive!
Rhonda says
I basically do what you do for kids’ chores, Andrea. I realized pretty quickly that my kids wouldn’t care that much about getting paid to do chores. They get some cash for birthdays and holidays from grandparents, and we get them most of what they need otherwise. They are just expected to pitch in to do the daily things (pretty much the same as your list). This might change as they get older (right now they are 9 and 12). My 12-year-old has interest in earning her own money by babysitting.
When they visit other people’s houses, I get good reports about how they clean up after themselves. I think they enjoy having a home that is clean and uncluttered and are motivated to keep that up themselves. I don’t have to nag them too much to straighten up their own rooms.
Jean Stob says
I think your system is very good. My children and grandchildren are all grown up but as adults (even the males) see the benefits of having an organized neat place to live. Kudos.
Cindy says
Hello what is the name of the small vacuum Clara is using? Thank you.
Andrea says
Hi Cindy — here’s the link to the vacuum.
Also, this is the post where I shared more about it.
Jennifer says
Yes to all of this. We follow this in our house and our son gladly makes his bed most mornings, he always puts his pajamas and dirty clothes in hamper, tidies up his own bathroom, etc. without us asking because it’s all become routine. We have never made a big deal about chores just all these things are part of daily life and it makes a difference.
Joy says
Totally agree with you! I’m reading a great book on parenting terms called Age of Opportunity which follows this same premise of approaching parenting kids with what is most important —shepherding their hearts in Truth. Getting at the heart of the matter rather than blind compliance. That said, we have daily expectations for the kids to take care of their personal items which are worked into our family’s routine each day (dishes, lunches, school items, homework, clothing etc) and on days we are home after school or evening, whoever is home of the six of us pitches in to grab one item of the weekly master list. I also ask for “right-now” help with things like finishing dinner prep, and putting away groceries. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done. I try to not worry about it while also keeping the house clean enough to be a peaceful, welcoming and relaxing.
Kelly says
We have always given age appropriate responsibilities to our daughter. we have always told her she does not get paid for her responsibilities, because every member of our family has responsibilities that come with living in our home. She has learned that everyone has jobs they have to do, and they aren’t always what you want to do in the moment, but are required to live every day. She is helpful and will often ask if there is anything she can do to help us. Don’t get me wrong, some days are better than others, but she has learned ways of simplifying and things to help her when she gets out on her own someday. We DO pay her for her grades. As far as we are concerned, school is her job at this stage of her life. She only gets paid for A’s (which may seem strict but she is a straight A student lol) and has to split her money into savings, free spending and charity. She has an extra checkbook register to keep track of her spending money which also helps with learning to budget. She earns the number of years she is in age (12 at the moment) per A. This system has always worked well for us and although you can’t bounce a corner off of her made bed (which my army dad would do with me) she makes her bed every day without being asked and that’s a win in my book!
Andrea says
this sounds really smart — paying for grades but expecting chores to be done for “free”. I never really thought about school being the kids’ “job” before!
Rachel says
What happens if she slips to an A- or a B+? Does it go from $12 to $0 or will you prorated? Just curious… because at our adult jobs, we can make mistakes and still get paid the same amt.
I don’t pay for grades (but also, our school doesn’t give out letter grades), though I recall a couple friends who got paid when report cards came out. I think as long as a kid is attending, doing the work and giving it their best effort, they get full pay. Intentionally slacking off or not asking for help when needed is a whole different thing!
TeacherMom says
I was thinking the same thing. My friend’s husband did that with their 4 kids, and one kid did not get good grades even with the incentive. The boy was devastated. Then my friend’s husband got a punch in the gut when they found out his son has dyslexia(which had affected all of his grades!). I’m sure it works for some families, but it could really cause resentment for kids who struggle if they have a sibling who doesn’t.
Jenn S. says
I think your approach is sound. It is bizarre to me to see chores and housework forced on toddlers.
That said, it bummed me out a little to see that, “even,” Dave’s dad helps at home. Why should he be exempt in such a manner that his help with housework, when given, warrants an, “even?” Perhaps it was unintentional, but it just kinda read to me that for some reason he should not be expected to contribute to household tasks…so when he does, it’s a treat.
Stephanie Paulus says
Wow, thank you so much for that refreshing post. To be honest, chore charts drive me crazy and I can NEVER keep up with them. I am a homeschooling mom of 5 (0 3 6 9 and 12) and yeah some days I just send them down stairs, listen to a good podcast, and do it myself. Thank you for that permission.
I did want to share one thing that I just started doing on Saturday morning and it has been one of those “light bulb” moments in motherhood. I do a quick run down of what needs done and write each job on a slip of paper. (I like to include fun “chores” like “give mommy a hug” or “get some chocolate chips” as it keeps things from dragging out.)
I put all the slips of paper in a basket, and then the race begins. They grab a piece of paper and go do the chore trying to see who can get the most papers. When they finish, they get to do something with mommy, and the one who got the most papers(did the most chores), gets a bonus. (whatever my brain can come up with) My three year old, has his name on some of the papers as a buddy for whoever is doing that job.
We had the whole basement cleaned in 45min the other night. My husband was amazed. The kids love it because they get to do something with mommy, and I get a clean house fast. Also, I am teaching them that when they pitch in and lift my load, I have more time for them. So for what its worth, I just thought I would share.
Andrea says
yeah, sometimes it’s just easier to do it yourself! thanks for the tip about the basket of chores. maybe when my kids start to read, we’ll implement something like this!
Natalie says
I loved that post. I finally feel less guilty for not forcing my kids to do chores when they were younger. By the way, they are now 13 and 17 and they are the sweetest boys. They are thoughtful and respectful. Of course, unless we ask, they will not help. But when we ask him, my 17-year-old will shovel the snow, vacuum the house, empty garbages and he will make his bed if he knows company is coming. Thank you for that post Andrea.
Andrea says
haha — glad I could help you feel less guilty! My mission for this post has been accomplished 🙂
Also, your son sounds like a perfectly normal (possibly more helpful than normal) teenage boy. You must be doing something right!
Laura McCarthy says
Two of the things that are important for kids to develop in childhood are competence (being able to accomplish things) and autonomy (being able to do things on one’s own). These skills give kids a strong foundation for grit, a positive mindset and hope among other things, knowing that they are capable. There are lots of ways to build these skills, and parents modeling that “can-do” attitude and carrying out household responsibilities is a great way to do this. At some point, kids need to be taught how to do things and practice those skills themselves and being required to participate in household responsibilities is one way to do this. Young kids also LOVE to help and become truly helpful. I find when I’m overwhelmed with house management, it really helps to get the kids doing more. In our house, we discuss the “Jobs” not “chores” (who wants to do a chore?) a couple times a year and my kids (7,10) decide which they’ll be responsible for like feeding pets, putting away laundry and clearing dishes. They have about how many as their age. It’s hard not to quickly take care of their jobs for them, but at their age I’m focusing more on building their abilities.
Andrea says
This is so great Laura — thanks for sharing!
And yes, I totally agree! Just today, I let Nora use a “sharp” knife (a.k.a. not a butter knife) to cut up a few extra baked potatoes so I could make them into fried potatoes. You would have thought I just gave her the best Christmas gift ever by how excited she was to be allowed to use a sharp knife “all on her own”!
Also, I like how you call them “jobs” and not “chores”. I guess I don’t particularly mind the term “chores” but this is something to think about as I feel kids might get more excited about “job” versus a “chore”!
Jennifer says
My son is five and I have always had him beside me doing chores. I want him to know and agree that these are things we just do to take care of our home and that in our family we help each other out. I also want him to be a helpful husband one day. It’s important to note that the few chores he sort of has “assigned” to him all developed naturally as he watched me do something and just started copying me and eventually I asked if he wanted the “job”, things like folding hand towels, matching socks, putting away silverware, wiping counters, etc. These are also not scheduled at all, just as needed. I think when he’s older I want to keep including him and letting him choose ways to be helpful. I hope If he gets to choose and it has become natural to be helpful, then there won’t be issues. Some things may be scheduled, like trash days, but I am not a big fan of using charts, though they are great for many families, especially with children who have behavior issues or for parents who are trying to implement chores with older children not accustomed to helping out. I would like to offer pay for extra or big jobs like mowing, cleaning my car (pretty please, son!), etc. I like the idea of a general allowance and a list of things he must purchase on his own. That’s how my parents raised us. I loved learning about budgeting on my own like that.
Andrea says
haha — I hope he cleans your car for you someday too!
and yes, Dave and I DEFINITELY do plan to have our children help out with house and yard work on a regular basis once they are a bit older. Right now, Nora “helps” when she wants to and is excited to be helpful. I just want her to stay excited about it and not dread when I ask her to do something!
Susan says
I am not a neat freak, but with 7 kids I never seemed to catch up. They helped, but I never did a chore chart, rewards, or allowance. They all did their own laundry by the time they were teenagers (which was its own scheduling challenge but necessary I thought), and I would assign chores as needed. My house is cleaner now than it was back then, as my youngest is 19 and things just don’t get that messed up anymore. However, my oldest daughter thanks me for keeping a “clean” house and teaching them to clean–she sees many of her peers who either don’t know how or don’t care about keeping their house clean. As much as we want to just “do it ourselves” because it’s easier, we are ultimately rearing adults who need those skills.
Andrea says
yes! With 7 kids, you definitely have to have more systems in place.
And yes — I definitely DO plan to have my children help more with household cleaning as they get older. They need to learn how to clean — just not when they are 2!
Susan says
Your example is inspiring to moms who are looking for help in this area. I am way beyond this phase of life, but I pass along your ideas to my girls–they are right there. Thanks for all you do!
Andrea says
Thanks Susan! I hope your daughters will find it useful!
Jas says
Growing up, we didn’t have chore charts or allowance, but we were expected to keep our own rooms clean, put away any toys and books we took out, put our own dishes in the dishwasher – basically clean up our own messes. We also helped out with other chores whenever we were asked, but I think my mom did most of the heavy duty cleaning.
My daughter is too young to do any chores herself, but we do try to have her nearby and talk to her about what we’re doing when we pick up her toys, fold and put away her clothes, clean up after her meals, etc. I don’t want her to think it all happens magically in the middle of the night!
Chris from Normal says
As a child I didn’t have set chores, my mom made all of our beds and cleaned our rooms and I think I turned out ok also. I’m a bit of a neat freak and organizer!
I think with children ( and some adults) if the “chores” are approached with a positive attitude and made to be fun, kids will be more willing to do them. With my grandson, I make games out of what we’re doing-picking up the spilled Cheetos, putting away his Legos etc.
Andrea says
yeah, I think you’re right about the “approaching it with a positive attitude” part. I think that’s why I’m so apprehensive to start actual chores too soon. Right now, they have fun “helping” me clean… but I think if I actually made it a chore that they HAD to so, they wouldn’t have as much fun.
Elizabeth says
Andrea, great post. This is why I love you so I love the sanity you bring to topics. I might particularly love this because I in no way wish to further complicate life by setting up chore systems and trying to get my kids to fall in line. I don’t think those who do chore systems are wrong, but the thoughts of it make me feel stressed! I also love the excellent point you make about the consistent modeling of taking care of the house. I do believe our actions will always speak louder than our words.
Pamela says
The only “chore” my two year old has is to put her clothes in the hamper every night….and it doesn’t always happen, lol! But usually she loves doing it and we respond with a lot of praise. If she’s in the middle of a meltdown over something, I don’t make the meltdown worse by demanding she do her chore…we just start again the next day.
She also loves to push buttons so her other “chore” (if you can call it that) is to push the dishwasher buttons after I’ve loaded it. She thinks that’s the BEST!!
Andrea says
haha — well for 2, I’d say that’s pretty normal!
Julia says
I find it interesting that your perception of the motivation for assigning regular chores is for character building. In our house it’s because I literally can’t do everything by myself! I haven’t figured out a system yet, and they are still young enough that it’s not a strict regimine, but I am all about some age appropriate chores. If they can empty the silverware while I put the baby down for a nap, then we can enjoy playtime together while she’s asleep!
Andrea says
haha — well we might be at slightly different stages of life right now too. That dictates a lot, I think! Dave is really good about helping me with housework and, so far, I haven’t felt too overwhelmed by it. Plus, at this point, Nora is the only one who could really offer any amount of help, and even her “help” is so slow and sloppy that I could do it much more efficiently on my own.
Not saying I never let her learn, but there are times when I just want it DONE!
susie says
That’s how I used to do it when my kids were your ages, but now I finally made a chore list and it has been working better. Interesting how you have always said to do what works best at the time in your life. Chore lists used to never work, but this new season in my life the list cut back on fights between the kids . We have 6 cleaners, 5-15 and they do one job a night. The older kids are having a harder time adjusting to it, but its easier for them to understand why I added a chore list. The 5 year old does not do a very good job, but at least its not all up to me and the kids know they are not the only one doing the work.
Andrea says
well 6 kids versus 3 kids is a lot different! And I’m glad you found a chore chart that works for you!
Christa Reinhart says
Great post. I know I don’t need one more thing to stress about. My kids are 2, 6, 12 and 14 and I have yet to come up with a chore chart or give them allowance. They pitch in when I ask, they see our examples and in the case of my video game loving 14 year old, he asks what he needs to do in order to play his video games. He knows work before play. And if he doesn’t want to ‘work’ to get video games, then he is more than welcome to play with his other toys, play outside or read a book -all great alternatives in my opinion. Thanks for this refreshing post. It’s important for children to feel like part of the family and pitch in like everyone else rather than being told they have to or being ‘paid’ to do it. They should just do it.
Andrea says
Thanks Christa! I appreciate your perspective too — since you have a couple older children so you know what works later in life too!
Sarah says
I agree 100% children learn about household responsibilities from the example set by the adults in the home. I have family and friends who are at their wit ends expecting their children to pick up and be tidier than the adults in the home. Why would a kid clean their room easily when the house is a disaster? The expectations children have to be so perfect is saddening. People forget children are learning and just trying to figure themselves out! Aren’t we all?
Sarah says
*wit’s end
Amy says
I agree with you, Andrea! I have two, 5 and 3. My five year wakes up everyday and makes her bed before leaving her room. She also hates messes and will pull everything out of her closet and reorganize it neatly without being asked! She sees me do these things and has just naturally picked up on them. My 3 year old boy doesn’t like picking up but does it reluctantly. Both of them like to help me do other things as I ask like put away laundry, dust, set the table etc. So far, I feel like this is enough. I’m determined not to link money to housework because housework and cleanliness are part of a healthy lifestyle and not something I feel is optional.
But…..I’m wondering what can I link an allowance to??? Anyone do something original here that I could use?
Ashley says
I struggle with this, too! We received an allowance as kids for doing household chores and it was a great tool for teaching financial responsibility. But there is this pull of, household chores are a part of life and if you live in this home you must help!
Andrea says
I could go either way on this — I think there are pros and cons to both paying kids for chores and not paying kids for chores.
Alison says
We do a little of both. Each boy has a morning chore and a daily chore M-F (they are home because we homeschool). Those are a required part of the family. Then we pay for extra, bigger jobs. Mowing the lawn, vacuuming the car, watching their sister while I’m at a meeting. I figure I’d pay someone for those jobs, but I wouldn’t pay someone to take out the trash or pick up the boys room. They only get the paid jobs as needed (not on a regular schedule), and they only get paid if the job is done to our satisfaction. We have docked pay for sloppy mowing, etc. I didn’t start being diligent with chores until they were about 6 or 7. Their family chores change based on the needs of the family and their capabilities. For example, recently I got fed up with them not putting their clean clothes away and instead just dumping them back in the laundry basket (argh!), so now they do their own laundry. Natural consequence and less on my plate :).
Andrea says
This is great — thanks for sharing Alison!
I love the thought process that you WOULD pay someone to mow your lawn and watch your baby, but not to pick up their room, etc. That’s a great way to think about paid versus unpaid chores!
Ann says
Our children are grown now, but when they were about 10 & 12 yrs old, my husband read Ron Blue’s book about Money. After that my hubby gave our
children $XX every month. I think it was $50 in the early 90’s, BUT he also
explained to them that this money should be used for:
1. Giving
2. Saving
3. School supplies
4. Travel $ to spend on family trips
5. Clothing
6.. ???(I can’t remember!)
Boy, did they LOVE this! But they had to figure out when to save and when to spend, decide IF some school supplies could be re-used, instead of NEW every single year… Also, they learned when paying a clerk for a $5 item + tax, and they paid with a $10 bill, their change should be approxmately $5, a valuable lesson for life. To this day, they manage their $ well.
Your children are younger, so this would have to be implemented on a much smaller scale, but could probably still be helpful!
Andrea says
This is so awesome — but I’m guessing it takes a bit of work and persistence on the parent’s part as well, right? I had friends growing up who did this — and I always thought it was such a great idea. I’ve kept it tucked in the back of my brain for when our kids are several years older!
Andrea says
sorry amy, I got nothing for the allowance thing, but if no one responds, I’ll post it as a reader question on my FB page tomorrow!
Audra says
Have you read Smart Money, Smart Kids by Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruze? It teaches to pay for some chores that would be expected but to also save some for the “you’re a member of this house so you help” category. The ones are paid then help the kiddo learn financial responsibility…give, save, spend.
Honestly, I’m having a hard time doing it with my 7 year old. He’s great at helping out if I ask him to do a household task. He’s not good at following a chart and doing a task on his own….probably to be expected for his age (although he follows lists and is independent with many other things). Anyway, my concern is teaching the financial responsibility even at a young age. My little guy is not an “I want I want” kid…..it’s difficult to get birthday and Christmas ideas out of him so he never has anything that he wants to save for. I’m thankful for his contentment on one hand but worry he’s not going to learn the concept of save up and pay for it. LOL!
Andrea says
No, I’ve never read that book — maybe once our kids are a bit older.
Also, your little guy sounds totally normal — I’m sure you have nothing to worry about. If you are modeling good saving and spending, I’m sure he will pick that up. And YAY for a child who doesn’t want to have everything they see!
Martha says
What is your FB page? Thought a looong time ago you decided to not be on FB so really never have looked you up. LOL Thanks for all your wisdom in many, many areas!!
Andrea says
Hi Martha, here’s my facebook page (although I haven’t posted on it in years!)
Samantha says
My kids are also 5 and 3, and like you, I did not want to link housework to money. I also didn’t want my kids doing a job just to “get paid” when I knew I’d need to do it again. At this age, kids get $1 and think they can buy any toy st the store…definitely not an argument I’d want to get in to every day!
To avoid this, I have a tall-ish mason jar and a bag of small colored pom poms. Each time I ask my children to do something to help me (pick up their toys, clear the table, put dirty clothes in the hamper, wipe the counter, etc), they earn one pom pom. If they do something to help around the house without me asking first, they earn 2 pom poms. They work together to fill the jar and when it is full, they can each pick something on Amazon or Target (I’m all about free shipping) that is up to $10. This helps my kids work on number recognition from 1-10 and also teaches delayed gratification (they have to wait for the item to be delivered). They can also pick activities instead of a toy. If the item (toy or activity) is more than $10, they can “save” their jar and add it to the next jar when it is full (for a total of $20). This helps them realize that they need to save for bigger items. It usually takes 3-4 weeks for the jar to get full, and they are very motivated to earn pom poms.
Andrea says
This is such an awesome idea Samantha!! Thanks so much for sharing — I might just have to implement this in our house!
Heidi says
My girls (6 and 4) help with meals, put away their laundry (after I wash it), and pick up their bedroom and playroom. They help with meals and meal cleanup, but we don’t try to do anything “official”. We do have a “20 minute clean up” every night where we all work on picking up the house and completing those small tasks that have to get done every day. We may get something more formal and organized later but right now, that’d just be one more thing for me to remember to monitor! 🙂
Kellie Denton says
Bwahaha! I found this post so refreshingly honest! I’m pretty OCD about cleaning but I’m married to a man who “forgets to clean under the toilet seat” and I think he’s still an OK human being. HAHA! Thanks Andrea!
Nellie says
Interesting post.
In my experience young children want to do the same things as the grown-ups so I let mine do that. Then comes the phase when you need to nag and nag and bribe or revoke privileges and nag and… rince and repeat.
And then you hurt your back and are unable to do _anything_ for six weeks and suddenly your tweenies are superbly capable of handling the whole household. (Of course, once you are on your feet they become curiously incompetent again.)
When the kids’ father and I separated I told my eight year old son that cleaning the bathroom is a gentleman’s job. Since he had seen that this was his dad’s chore he assumed I was right and he took over. Go figure!
I totally agree with you Andrea, they tend to be able to care for themselves (or learn to care for themselves) when they grow up, no matter what.
Andrea says
oh yes, my children love to “help” me to housework — but it’s actually not all that much help (as I’m sure you know). I try to let them help with some things (like dusting and wiping things) but I do lots more when they are sleeping at night 🙂
Kelly says
I couldn’t agree more Andrea. I grew up never having chores and never really did laundry until I went to college. have to say that I turned out well. I helped around the house with different tasks that needed done and did was asked me of at the time. I will never forget when my sister was about 8 someone asked her what her chores were and she said taking a bath and I have to brush my teeth :-).
Andrea says
haha — that’s great Kelly! Thanks for the laugh 🙂
Shelley says
Well, since you asked….:) Your house and children remind me of mine several years ago. When they were little it was as natural as breathing for my kids to have a hand in everything. I love a clean house and they love their mom and we actually had fun. However, something seems to change when they become teenagers. Little kids make a little messes but somehow teenagers can touch every room in the house in just a few minutes! 🙂 I have noticed that by making my son clean bathrooms, his aim suddenly got a lot better. Kids that have to clean, I believe, make an effort to keep the house cleaner. No “chores” here but a few things they have to have done to have their free time on the weekends- bedrooms cleaned, family room vacuumed and dusted, and their bathroom cleaned. Although my kids will occasionally gripe, deep down they appreciate the discipline because they have friends whose houses they cannot go to because it is a continual wreck.
Rachel says
I agree completely with Shelley!! It was way easier when they were little! Now mine have certain things they need to do each day after school before having any screen time. It works well.
Andrea says
I agree — I’m sure our kids will do more once they are older, but I just have a hard time being super strict about “chores” for a 5,2, and 1 year old!