Have you ever felt like you were juggling too many responsibilities, being pulled in too many different directions, or “wearing too many hats”?
Have you ever felt bad for saying “no” to something that seemed so good?
Have you ever let yourself be guilted into saying “yes” even though you already had way too much on your schedule?
I’m guessing the answer for almost everyone reading this is YES! YES! and YES!
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The thing is, most requests for our time, talents, money, and other resources are GOOD requests.
These are good causes, good organizations, good churches, good communities, good opportunities, good experiences, good schools, good friends, good neighbors, good family members.
This is why we feel SO bad saying “no”.
What makes it even trickier is that in most situations, there will be some positive gain from saying “yes” to all these good things.
You will be blessed by your involvement.
Your children will learn a new skill.
Your family will have a new experience.
You will gain a new friendship.
You will get a promotion from work.
We convince ourselves to say “yes” over and over and over again because it’s such a good cause, a good opportunity, a good experience… but we fail to fully think through both sides of the equation.
Even though we might benefit in some ways, there will also be negative consequences as a result of saying “yes”.
You sacrifice sleep.
Your physical and emotional health deteriorates.
You have less time for your family, your spouse, your children, or your friends.
You don’t practice any self-care.
You don’t have time for activities you used to enjoy.
Eventually, you will end up with too many yeses — too many “good things” on your plate.
And yes, you CAN have too much of a good thing!
Don’t believe me? Here are a few examples to prove my point…
Makeup = Good — Too much makeup = Scary
Candy = Good — Too much candy = rotten teeth and hyper kids
Food and drink = Good — Too much food or drink = a stomach ache
Electrical power = Good — Too much power = a blown fuse and power outage
Water = Good — Too much water = disastrous floods
Toys and clothes = Good — Too many toys and clothes = clutter and mess
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YES, use your gifts and talents to serve others, use your time and energy to be a blessing to those in need, use your money to make a difference… but also use discernment and say “no” when you have too much on your plate.
There are millions of “good things” you could say “yes” to every day… but if you don’t take care of your health, your family, your house, and your life, you will eventually burn out and realize you sacrificed an awful lot for those “yeses”.
If you feel burnt out, tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, stressed out, or like you’re wearing too many hats, it’s probably time to take a step back, look at ALL those good things you’re doing, and figure out a way to cut back. It won’t be easy, but I don’t think you’ll regret it.
Melissa D. says
As a stay at home mom of school aged kids, I often find myself saying yes to things simply because I perceive, that in comparison to work outside of the home parents, I have more time. It is sometimes difficult for me to remember that the level of what each of us is able to “take on” really varies from person to person. I’m trying to make it more of a point to choose wisely and do the things that I honestly know will be of service to others and not simply,y say yes just because it is expected of me. A great reminder through your post today!
Andrea says
yes, I can see why you feel that way. I guess you probably do have more flexibility to your days (compared to someone who works full time) but you most likely have plenty to fill your hours each day 🙂
Donna G says
What a timely post. It conforms the decision I made that there are some “good” things on my calendar that are going to have to go, because I need to spend that time working on and in my business and not chatting with a group of ladies who I (mostly) enjoy.
Even though we have very little in common, yours is the first blog I read when I get on the computer and I have gained insight and practical help several times through something you have written. Thank you for using your gift to help others.
Andrea says
Thanks so much Donna! While my “real life” is centered around little people most of the time, I do hope to fill my blog with tips and ideas that will help and benefit people of all ages and in all walks of life. I’m glad some of my tips and ideas have worked for you too!
Lynn Oyama says
Great post Andrea! I learned a few years ago that I had too much on my plate and started to remove things slowly. Now i can slowly put things back on my plate as they fit. Have a wonderful weekend!
Andrea says
this is almost exactly where I’m finding myself right now too. I removed SOOOO much from my plate a couple years ago and now that the kids are getting just a little older, I feel like I can actually get excited about adding things back to my plate! It feels good!
Bonnie'sMama says
This is good stuff, Andrea. I Timothy 5:8 says if you don’t provide for your own family, you’re worse than an unbeliever. I think this applies to more than just providing financially. Charity really does need to start at home. It’s so important to keep our priorities right–if I’m not taking care of my husband and children (and myself), I’d better not say “yes” to some opportunity to minister to someone else’s children.
In the past four months my husband and I said a resounding “No!” to several big obligations we’d taken on. It is just plain wonderful to no longer carry those burdens! Our schedule is much freer, our kids are happier, our stress level dropped like a rock. And can you believe it–those obligations are doing just fine without us! It turns out we were not indispensable. The world did not stop turning because we said “no.”
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing! I agree — we need to take care of ourselves and our own families before we can overly-extend ourselves to care for others. It might sound selfish when you just say it like that, but I do think it’s the healthiest approach!