As someone who values time at home and a slower pace of life, I will be the first to admit that I really miss normal everyday things like school, church, play dates, dinner guests, and… (wait for it…) even grocery shopping!
Honestly, if I could wave a magic wand and return all our lives “back to normal” (pre corona) I would do it in an INSTANT.
Everyone could go back to school.
The economy would bounce back.
Jobs would be saved.
Health care workers could get their lives back.
Weddings and graduations and vacations and birthdays and class trips and sporting events and concerts and reunions could all go on as scheduled.
But alas… I don’t have a wand (although Nora said I could borrow hers!)
I’ve spent some time recently grieving our “losses”.
I fully admit our “losses” are fairly insignificant compared to many of yours, but it was still helpful to acknowledge them.
- we missed out on all the Lent and Easter activities at church and school
- the kids will miss out on a THIRD of their school year
- the kids missed field trips, end-of-year parties, crazy hair day, birthday treats, pajama day, pizza parties, and seeing their friends each day
- Nora’s amazing teacher will miss her retirement party and all her special “lasts” as she retires from teaching this year
- Simon is missing out on his last year of not-full-time school with such a fun teacher
- James is missing out on his fun-filled carefree year of preschool
- Dave is missing out on the last few months with seniors and the time to say “farewell” to the students and teachers who are graduating and retiring at the end of the school year
- Our family missed the chance to see a new baby cousin and nephew (and we have 2 more cousins due soon… who knows if/when we’ll get to see them)
- I now have the added “stress” of trying to homeschool my children when it is clearly a gift I do not possess
Clara, on the other hand, is basically living her best life with all her siblings around to give her undivided attention every day! 🙂
I know the losses are great and it’s tempting to want to ‘get back to normal’.
Believe me, I get it!
However, instead of trying to “get back to normal”, I challenge you to first consider what parts of “normal” are worth getting back to.
I’ve gotten so many emails and messages lately from those of you who are using your extra time at home to clean, declutter, organize, fill your freezer, spruce up your yard, and better your homes and lives in some way.
It’s exciting and encouraging to see you making the most of these unfortunate circumstances that are completely out of our control.
One theme I continue to read and hear from those who are looking for that silver lining is how lovely this slower pace of life is.
Mornings aren’t as frazzled.
Daily activities are less elaborate.
Mealtimes are more leisurely.
Cooking at home doesn’t feel as overwhelming.
Yard work is more enjoyable.
Evenings are spent at home instead of rushing from activity to activity.
There is more time for all those things on our “to do someday” list.
Yes, I know!!! THIS is what I’ve been “preaching” for the last decade!
I love being home as much as possible… but I too have enjoyed an even slower pace of life over the past month.
I’ve been cooking and baking like crazy, I’m reading and sewing more than I have in years, Dave and I are making great progress with yardwork, and I’ve had extra time and energy to do a bunch of rearranging, reorganizing, and redecorating (all things I get SO MUCH JOY from doing!)
I still crave the “old normal” — and truthfully, I’d wave a wand this minute if I had the chance. BUT, I’ve also started to see some parts of my “old normal” that I might just leave behind.
What about you?
If you can see past the grief, the heartache, and the loss, might the silver-lining in this crazy pandemic be the opportunity to craft and shape and redefine a new normal for your life?
(the timer didn’t go off as planned!)
When life gets “back to normal” (and I’m confident it will eventually) what will you leave behind in an effort to simplify your life?
What new habits will you take with you into your new normal?
What bad habits and unnecessary “fluff” will you leave behind?
Now that you got a taste of what a simpler, slower-paced life is like, will you work harder to make that a reality for you and your family?
Maybe not… but if there’s any part of you that wants to give it a go, NOW is the perfect time to start crafting your new normal.
Take the time to acknowledge and grieve your losses (I know some of them are mighty big).
Kim Raffa says
I have always wanted to do a bigger grocery shopping trip at the start of the month and fill in a few weeks later, but have never taken the plunge budget wise to shift money and make it happen. The pandemic has almost forced me to do this with not wanting to be in stores and with money/bills happening differently since we have been home. I now have tried to do one big trip to our wholesale grocer, BJ’s and our local grocery store (only if I absolutely need something BJ’s doesn’t have) and then I fill in with our market right in our town. I miss Aldi for some things, but I have to say the produce has been much better, lasted longer, etc. and in the long run, the price is relatively similar.
My goal now is to keep this up once we return to “normal” and figure out a way to make it happen in our budget. It has really been working well for us and that is with all four of us being home all day, every day. I would imagine once we are back to our normal routines the food will last even longer, which is what I was always worried about in the back of my mind.
It has been a good shift and one I probably wouln’t have ever taken the leap to change had this not happened.
Wishing everyone health and safety during these times!!
Andrea says
Hey Kim!
I love that you are looking for the good in this situation — that’s very refreshing!
The fact that you’ve made your extended grocery trips work for the past 2 months leads me to believe you’ll be able to continue it even after life starts getting a little more normal again. 🙂
I share a post about goals today — and I specifically mentioned WRITING them down. This might be helpful for you right now — to actually write this goal down (even if you feel a little silly(
Karen says
I like several things about this new normal, just not the reason for it. I think the word “recalibrate” is perfect, and that is what we are doing here. I compare it to quitting any bad habit. It’s really hard at first. Really, really hard. Then, if you keep working at it, so many other things start to improve that you never want to go back to the old habit.
The earth is doing it, too. The sky is blue, the canals in Venice are clear, and seismic noise is reduced. This is how the planet was meant to be.
PS: I like the dates on posts, too.
Andrea says
I totally agree — I also like so many things about our “new normal” but not the reason for it!
And yes, your comparison to a “bad habit” is exactly right!
Martha says
Great post. Just wondering if the date is listed anywhere. I do not see it, but totally could just be overlooking it. If the date is not included, I do miss that!!
Andrea says
Hi Martha — I’ve removed the dates for now. Trying something new 🙂 Thanks for your feedback!
Shirley says
I was able to work from home for most of 2 weeks which was a nice change of pace. I didn’t miss driving back & forth to work or the errands I used to do after work. I planned more ahead about grocery shopping to minimize the number of times in public and don’t mind the inconvenience of not being able to get everything I want at the store when other people were going through real hardship. I’m thankful to still be employed and all those essential health care and other kind of worker’s truly are heroes.
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing Shirley! Glad you have been able to work from home and enjoy a little more downtime.
Jenni says
I think what I enjoy the most is permission to stay home and be resourceful with what we have. Sewing has suddenly become a “cool” thing and I’ve enjoyed taking walks in different parts of our city as a family. We never really “hiked” together before but have discovered some new trails that we just love. It has also been good for our budget – all of those little “non-essential” purchases add up over time. But I will say, even though I am an introvert, I find the quarantine hard because I can never be home by myself and our house is on the small side, so I hear noise in most parts of the house. I have to listen to music sometimes to calm down.
Andrea says
yes — the PERMISSION to stay home and not always feel like we need to be doing more and more and more. We don’t have any requests for our time (volunteering, committees, meetings, school functions, etc.) Sometimes these are very good and fun activities… but they are still one more thing to add to the calendar and the to-do list!
Glad your family is enjoying more time together — you might consider taking a walk by yourself to recharge. I’ve done this a few times and it’s glorious!
Pascale says
Hello Andrea,
I see so many positive things in this confinement that I cannot even list all of them in a short comment.
If I had to list one benefit, I would say it is a time to recalibrate.
Side note: As an introvert, I like the peace and quiet of being confined.
Andrea says
I love this… “time to recalibrate”. Great word!
I wouldn’t say my confinement is anywhere close to “peace and quiet” but that does sound lovely! 🙂
Pascale says
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment, Andrea.
I hope you will find time to recalibrate.
I can imagine being confined with 4 children isn’t exactly peaceful and quiet. I meant that for me and also because the streets and the outdoors are quiet. Spring usually bustles with activity and it’s nice to have it be so peaceful.
Andrea says
Yes, we are definitely enjoying a slower pace of life — especially with Dave home. And as long as we keep putting the kids to bed at 7:00, we can still enjoy a couple of hours of peace and quiet at night!
Leanne says
In all honesty, some days are just HARD… but, I will say that I am thankful for a society that is finally starting to recognize that teachers, nurses, doctors, first responders are HEROES…because they are… I am thankful my kids have not seen the inside of a store for a month… I am crazy thankful for technology to “keep in touch”… I think we especially are beginning to feel an appreciation for things like going to church… going to a movie… meeting a friend for coffee that seemed hard to fit in or like “one more thing”…. I’ll never take going to Church, especially, again… I think I’ll go now whenever the doors are open….
Andrea says
yup! Lots of long hard days around here too — the kids are SO antsy to play with neighbors, friends, etc. At least we have 4 children so they can play with each other. We have friends with an only child and he is STRUGGLING right now 🙁
Technology is amazing — not sure what we’d do without it right now!
Guisela says
I don’t want to go back to normal. Yes, I wish my sister could kept her business, that people don’t get sick or dead, that economy in the whole world could be if not better, be the same. But at my personal life, I LOVE to be with my family more time, that we are eating home made food together, 3 times a day. I LOVE not spend my day in the traffic and rushing for everything…
Andrea says
I’m glad you are enjoying the extra family time! We are too!
And the slower pace of life is fantastic!
Susanne says
I’m sad for my high school senior who is missing out on his last baseball season and many special senior activities. The blessing is that he is a real introvert, and not very sentimental, so he is handling it pretty well and he is having plenty of opportunities to go fishing. I miss my PreK students terribly, and worry about some of them. Our school delivers lunches daily to any family in the district that requests it so I ride the bus a few times a week to help with meal deliveries and get to see some sweet faces. My silver lining is that I am spending more time with my three favorite people in the world!
Andrea says
oh yes — high school seniors are really getting the shaft this year. I’m so sad for all of them — they worked this hard for so many years and now don’t get to do the fun end-of-year things. It has to be rough on parents too (you helped them the whole way!)
And yes, Dave and I were just talking about the lower-income schools who provide lunches and breakfast for their kids. I was wondering how that was all working right now — glad your kiddos are still getting their meals. And good for you for helping with the process!
Trina says
Love Dave’s beard in the mis-timed photo! He looks like John Krasinsky! Just heard that quote about return to normalcy, and it resonated with me too and got me thinking. Right there with you, Andrea. Love the blog and have for years. Stay safe.
Andrea says
haha — that is a HUGE compliment to Dave — we love The Office and John Krasinsky! Dave is actually watching his new Netflix series right now 🙂
Janine says
What a great post!! The hope that shines through every word is so encouraging! And even though I am getting a LITTLE tired of staying home (I’m an introverted homebody anyways!), I think about how much worse it could be.
I have food to feed my family. It may not always be the exact items I’m used to buying, but the store shelves aren’t totally empty.
My home stays warm and cozy during this cold spring.
Most of my family are in the house with me. I don’t have to be worrying about where they are and if they are safe.
I still have my job (many don’t). My hours aren’t as long and my work is very different from normal, but I still get a paycheck.
We are basically at peace. Many times when lives are disrupted in this way, it’s because of war. So far, so good.
I’m getting a lot of projects done! My family room walls are now painted, my woodwork is now white, and my decor is getting a face lift. Not something that would have happened so quickly if not for this time.
My internet works! PTL! It’s not super fast since 4 people are always working/schooling/playing on it, but it hasn’t gone down.
Frankly, I think I have it pretty good. Thank you for helping me realize how great things actually are.
Btw, Dave’s new look is pretty cool. 🙂
Guisela says
Love your words!
Julia says
Thank you for this. We just had our daughter in January and she is our first child. My first week back to work was right at the beginning of all the worry over this pandemic, and I work in a hospital. So it was extra hard for me to adjust to going back since my husband is immunocompromised. But he has been able to work from home and I am currently on furlough. I am just soaking up all this time with them and focusing on being a mom. We had wished to spend our first Mother’s Day with our moms, especially since this is my mother in law’s first grand baby. But we’re FaceTiming and sending daily pictures. There are always silver linings and I am choosing to focus on them. Hope you and your family are doing well!
Andrea says
oh wow — congratulations!
I’m so glad you get some extra time at home to rest, relax, and get to know your new little girl!
Andrea says
Thanks Janine — I’ll pass your compliments along to Dave 🙂
And yes, I agree with you — I have it pretty good, I’m an introvert, but I am getting tired of staying home ALL the time. Our kids literally haven’t left our property except for a few car drives.
We’ll just keep organizing, cleaning, cooking, and baking! 🙂