Thanks to the explosion of social media over the past 15 years, children’s birthday parties have reached a whole new level of “wow”!
It’s really easy to get sucked into thinking our kids absolutely must have super cute, “Pinterest Perfect” birthday parties based on everything we see online.
Yes, I have used Pinterest as a source of inspiration for our kids’ parties… but after putting together nearly 28 simple birthday celebrations over the past 10 years, I’m confident we can celebrate our children without excess stress, a large financial investment, or a huge mess to clean up the next day!
Sound good to you?
If you’d like a little help, encouragement, or permission to simplify your children’s birthday parties, here are my top 5 tips!
1. Invite Fewer Guests
One of the quickest and easiest ways to simplify any party is to invite fewer guests.
Yes, I understand there might be challenges to this (especially if you’re known for hosting massive gatherings) so I realize this overly-simple tip won’t work for every family. But, at the risk of neglecting one of the most obvious ways to simplify any gathering, I couldn’t forget to put this tip on my list.
If your goal is “simpler”, a smaller guest list is a fantastic start.
We’ve always kept our birthday party guest lists quite small — grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins (this usually amounts to 10 extra guests).
Fewer guests mean less food to buy, less mess to clean up later, and fewer gifts to make room for.
It’s also much less overwhelming for young children or children who tend to shy away from being “put on the spot” (yup, we have a couple of those!)
2. Consider What Your Child Actually Wants
Revolutionary… I know! 😂
It’s so easy to get caught up in a party-planning frenzy with our own agenda — to the point where we forget to stop to consider what our child actually wants.
Simon usually pushes for a simple donut + fruit birthday party which is so easy. Plus, hosting a morning birthday party means that everyone usually leaves by 11 am and we have the rest of the day to do whatever we want (we’re big fans of Saturday morning parties!)
We went with a “Frozen” theme for Nora’s 5th birthday and she insisted on decorating her own cake.
The finished product certainly wasn’t professional-looking but it only took us 10 minutes from start to finish, she was absolutely thrilled with her efforts, and I saved a ridiculous amount of time and stress trying to create a fancy “Frozen” cake!
You might be surprised how much simpler your parties could be if you ask your child for their preferences… and actually listen to their requests.
3. Skip All The “Extras”
We don’t plan games, activities, or prizes — we just let the kids play together. We also don’t have goodie bags and we don’t do much decorating either.
We usually stick with themed plates, napkins, and a couple of helium balloons from the dollar store. We’ll add in a few toys or costumes if we already have them in the house (Simon’s superhero party was fun for that!)
4. Don’t Throw a Party At All!
I realize this sounds super “scroogish” — but hear me out!
A few years ago, Dave and I decided that our children could each have a friends birthday party in 2nd grade (with the kids in their class). After that, they wouldn’t have traditional birthday parties anymore (not even with aunts, uncles, and cousins).
Instead, we simply invite both sets of grandparents over for dinner on a day close to the birthday (the birthday child gets to choose the meal).
The child still gets to bring a birthday treat to school, we usually get donuts or cinnamon rolls for breakfast, they still get gifts from us and grandparents, and we try to do a variety of fun/special things together as a family over their birthday weekend.
As you can imagine, no parties after 2nd grade really simplifies things (especially with multiple children).
Also, we stopped throwing “first birthday parties”… sorry younger kids!
NOTE: We regularly enjoy celebrating the kids’ half birthdays with our own family — so they might miss out on their first birthday party, but they get a whole bunch of fun half birthday “parties”!
I know this might be a huge deal for you (if you love throwing a big first birthday bash, then go for it). However, for me, it felt like more of a hassle, especially since so many of our relatives were gone around the times we wanted to have parties.
I saved myself a ton of time, energy, and money… and the kids don’t remember their first birthday anyway.
I felt zero guilt celebrating our children’s 1st birthday parties at home with our own family!
5. Stop Worrying What Others Might Think
This is a biggy for so many parents these days… it might require some honest introspection.
I know my previous suggestions to simplify kids’ birthday parties aren’t for everyone. However, is that because you just love birthday parties… OR because you’re worried what others might think if you don’t go all out for every party?
- Might we annoy or offend friends and relatives if they aren’t invited?
- Will we hurt anyone’s feelings if we limit the party to the kids in their class?
- Can we really get away with only serving cake and ice cream — or should we just make the full meal to keep people happy?
- But what if my kid says they only want a “blue” party and I can’t do cute decorations for that… what will social media think?
- We need to have _____ because so-and-so’s party had ________.
- Will I look like a bad parent if I don’t have a party for my child every year?
Stop… just stop!
As you set out to plan your kiddos’ birthday party, I beg you to stop worrying or even wondering what anyone else might think of your party.
I also encourage you to plan your party with no intention of sharing any pictures on social media.
You might be surprised how different your decisions are when you aren’t concerned about creating a Pinterest-perfect party or pleasing everyone on your guest list!
As I mentioned above, my kids and I do enjoy searching Pinterest for “kids’ birthday party ideas” whenever we’re planning our simple affairs.
We love scrolling in awe at what other parents and party planners have come up with. I’ve even utilized some of the ideas for our parties — just slightly more “low key” and “low budget”.
Bottom line: we love celebrating our children on their birthdays and they love being celebrated — both of which can be accomplished without the stress or time of over-the-top parties.
If you love planning, preparing for, and executing big birthday parties… then don’t let me stop you! After all, we need some jaw-dropping inspiration when we search Pinterest for birthday party ideas!
However, if kids’ birthday parties are a source of stress, if they create a financial burden for your family, or if your kids’ birthday plans are an attempt to “prove yourself” to other guests or social media, I encourage you to utilize a few of my tips and SIMPLIFY things a bit!
Who votes to simplify kids’ birthday parties?
That’s one vote for Clara — and another vote for me too!
Donna says
Our families on both sides have big parties every year for every kid, but my husband and I do not. Because we have 15 nieces and nephews combined, each child gets $1.00 for each year. This saves us a lot of money and the kids love going to the dollar store and picking out stuff. I’m sure when they are turning 16 our $16.00 cash gift may seem lame but we couldn’t afford to give $20-30 gifts to each kid every year so the dollar per year was our answer.
Andrea says
This is a great idea Donna! Thanks for sharing!
AEW says
This. All of this. When my kids were little we did a lot of frugal birthday parties with their friends but honestly as they got older we kind of drifted away from it. Now the birthday kid gets to choose their dinner and what kind of cake they have, I make their cakes from scratch, and we hang up a banner from the dollar store but that’s about it. It’s made it much simpler and honestly more enjoyable, and none of my kids have asked about friend parties since we stopped doing them.
Rebecca says
I love and agree with everything you’re saying! Now that we have 4 I have started seriously simplifying birthdays and I like it a lot more. BUT the snag I run into if I don’t host a traditional party is that both mine and my husbands parents are divorced so EACH one of them wants to stop by for a special visit with the birthday kid. Don’t you love family dynamics? 😉
Andrea says
yes! our birthdays have gotten simpler and simpler as the years go along — probably because it’s harder to keep up with for 4 kids.
Linda says
Nora is looking so grown up at nine. Wow, time flies. I guess our birthdays are super simple. We let them choose a restaurant.no clean up! We usually come home for dessert as my baking is way better than a restaurant or Gordon Foods.
Andrea says
Yes, Nora is looking old. The kids were measuring themselves today and I think she’s hovering around 5 feet tall already!
Sue says
After hearing about a co-worker spending over $350.00 for her kids party at a party place, we decided, Ah, No… our kids got a cake and dinner of their choosing on their actual Birthday. A couple of birthday balloons from the $ store, on same day and we invited family/”friends” that lived with in a 5 mile radius for cake. THAT’S IT !… Where we live it is very, out doing the jones and I don’t care about the jones. Now for future, sweet Sixteen is big here, we gave them a choice, big party OR house pizza party with friends and another present. They chose the later.
Andrea says
Yeah, I know people who spend more than $350 on Birthday parties — it gets pretty crazy!
Also, I love that you give your kids a choice for their 16th birthday. I know parents who give their kids a choice for their wedding — a big wedding, or a big check (most of the kids chose the check and enjoyed a small simple wedding and a nice nest egg of cash 🙂
Sue says
Yeah I have heard of the wedding thing also. My parents from the time we were little said no to paying for weddings and cars. My husband and I paid for our wedding and I loved the fact that we got to do what WE WANTED. We told everyone, “we will love any and all advice, but when it came to the final say, we were paying so we did what we wanted to do”. There was no Mommy and Daddy telling us we had to do this or that because they were paying
. We signed the check, we had final say. LOL
Jo says
This is great and over the years I have out much of your advice into action. We live where people spend a lot on parties, they invite the whole class to some expensive activity and give expensive party bags. It has been hard not compete with this but now I don’t worry about what others think and it is much less stressful. Our pattern seems to have fallen into this:
Joint dedication/first birthday so just cake and snacks after the service and that is done
When they are 6 they can have a friends party with an entertainer or trip somewhere but that is the only year.
Other birthdays don’t have a tradition – sometimes we’ve gone away camping over a birthday, sometimes we have the grandparents over, sometimes they choose one friend to have back for tea but no party, party bags, games etc. We always have cinnamon rolls for breakfast and they like a treasure hunt for their presents!
Andrea says
These are great ideas, Jo — Thanks for sharing some of the ways you have simplified in your home/family!
Sue says
Oh we learned this years ago. Where we live, most of the families have parties at party places. I just never wanted to or could afford that. We have a family party on the day of their birthday, cake, balloons and whatever dinner they want.
As they have gotten older, if they want to have a few friends to sleep over, and have pizza,, sure but that was it. We could not do the party places, too much $$$$.
Sue in NJ
Andrea says
yeah, we’ve also been invited to many of the party place parties. They are fun, but not a way we choose to spend our money right now!
Bonnie'sMama says
My children love getting to decorate their own cakes or cupcakes for birthdays and other occasions. Last night we made Christmas cupcakes. I made green frosting and bought a set of Christmas shapes sprinkles at Walmart. I piped frosting in a pile (the shape of a Christmas tree) and piped stars to make wreaths. They loved sticking all the little candy stars and tiny trees into the frosting.
Those cupcakes are not Pinterest worthy and no one but us would want to eat them, but the children had so much fun and made a lovely memory–because I let go of perfect cupcakes.
Andrea says
sounds like so much fun!
Calliope says
I struggled so much with my son’s birthdays! Everyone expected a big birthday party since he is our only child but my gut wanted the exact opposite: dinner or lunch with grandparents and godmother, aunt and cousins, a favorite movie just the three of us and his cake of choice.
I so regret not doing my way all the years he was too young to understand parties anyway.
So…I started doing your idea of half birthdays and I.just.love.them. He enjoys so much too having half a dessert, a small gift and half a movie (!) with us. We do watch the other half the next day…!
And yes, one year I just asked him what kind of treat he’d like (since he does not really like bday cakes) so he asked for donuts! And all kids liked them so much better. So thank u again for the idea!
Since last year he prefers to spend birthdays with 2-3 close friends in the movies or in a pizza restaurant. Amen!
Stacey says
Totally agree. And goodie bags at the end of a party are totally unnecessary and honestly a waste of money. If my kids are invited to a party at a jump place or something like that to me that is such a nice treat for them we don’t need to be giving a goodie bag as a thank you for coming. Of course my
Kids like the candy and toys but usually I find it laying around and it just ends up in the trash. Why on earth did people start giving out goodie bags????
Andrea says
yeah, definitely skip the party favors!
Jenny says
Right? Most party favors go straight into the garbage usually! We would donate money to the animal shelter for our animal-loving girl, and just give a lollipop with a sticker saying that. She would draw a horse or something.
Andrea says
that’s a great idea!
Natalia Gramada says
Great ideas!
I am one of those people that would spend way too much time, energy and finances for parties. I have too many ideas and I want to do it all!
This year, my oldest turned 14 and she was driving me crazy talking about her bday party, 6 months in advance. I totally refused to plan so early, so I told her that I’ll give her a budget and she could plan her own party. She had so many crazy ideas!!! Even more ideas than I would have!! She had a good amount of money to work with ($20 for each year = $280 for her 14 years) When she realized how much everything costs, she was still disappointed that she “didn’t have enough!!!”. (eye-roll)
Then I told her that whatever she doesn’t spend she gets to keep as her gift. All her plans changed overnight! She was able to cut down big time on everything, spent less than $80 and bought herself a new phone that she loves, loves, loves!
Interesting how priorities have shifted….
The best part – less pressure on me! It was all her! 🙂
Andrea says
this is AWESOME!!! Thanks so much for sharing this Natalia! I’m going to repost it on my social media tomorrow — I know so many parents will benefit from your advice!
B. Winblad says
What timing! We are having a birthday party for our son tomorrow. We invited 7 boys from his school, all his choosing. All he wanted for his birthday was to have some friends over to play video games. I am so ok with that. Makes it easy peasy for Mom. I bought some decorations on Amazon, made him cupcakes, and my husband will setup all of the gaming systems on our big tv. It didn’t cost me much money at all and was very easy to put together. My husband will go out in the morning to get pizzas from Costco and we are set for my son to have the party he wanted.
Andrea says
yay! have fun at your party tomorrow. Sounds very low-key and simple!
Dawn says
I love this post too! By asking what does the child want, we don’t have to worry about what friends, neighbors and yes,what social media thinks. At the end of the day, what is more important – hundreds of likes on Facebook from the party pictures or a child that is so happy about how their birthday party/experience went that they can’t stop talking about it!
Andrea says
Yes, Nora wanted ice cream sundaes tonight — which meant I didn’t have to bake or decorate a cake! yahoo!
Rebecca says
American Girl is having a sale on their website today. I know you have talked about getting Nora an American Girl doll for her birthday.
Andrea says
Thanks!
Avia says
I needed to read this as I’m in the process of planning the girls first, joint (their bdays are close), friends party. They really just want kids at their house to play. 🙂
Andrea says
have fun — I’m sure the party will be a blast!
Ashley says
We do simpler parties around here too! We spend about $5 on some balloons we blow up ourselves and some crepe paper that we hang around the house. I make the cake. We have a simple meal that’s served buffet style. We do party favors, but it’s always something super small like the bottles of bubbles that have a character on top, or this year we made play dough and put small balls in little bags.
Andrea says
yes, we had lots of non-helium balloons today… my fingers were sore from tying them all!
Linda Tenhage says
I’ve been simplifying our kids’ birthday parties too. They have a few friends over, and usually play some type of sports outside. I have only organized a party game for for one party over that last 16 years of parties – and it lasted 10 minutes!
A couple of my ideas are a donut cake – I stack glazed donuts onto a tray, stick candles in it, and bring it out to the kids. My oldest son’s friends loved it! My two minutes of prep time was not wasted – especially considering they only stopped for 2 minutes to gobble a donut down before going back to their hockey game!
Another idea that is popular where I live is a toonie (or fiver) party. In Canada we have $2 coins called toonies. The party invite just says it is a toonie party and that’s all the gift you need to bring. It works so well for parents who have kids going to lots of parties (simple, and not expensive), and at the end of the party, the birthday child gets to spend some money on a gift of their choosing.
Andrea says
ooooh, simon would LOVE the donut cake idea!
JJ says
Love this 100 times over!!! In my circles, people serve meals for birthday parties. They live relatively frugal lives but splurge on this. That would stress me out, because many of my friends’ kids and mine have food allergies. So to cook to make sure everyone could walk out alive and well would seriously freak me out. My husband is extremely introverted, so the thought of many people in our house overwhelms him. We live by no family. So we do experiences for birthdays. We put 30% of money gifts from grandparents into their savings accounts. Then we buy them a $20 gift. The rest is used to buy something they need(when they needed a new car seat, bed, shelving, etc.). Then we also do an experience. We did not realize a weather event was happening at the museum my son picked. We met two local weathermen, and my kids left with a ton of free goodies(nice, I might add!). We have close friends who always come over on our kids’ birthdays, so we have cupcakes with them–then when my husband comes home. They think that’s the coolest thing ever. Haha!
For easy cupcakes, my kids often request pull apart cupcake cakes. One year I made a dog with a bone for my son. My daughter had a snowflake Elsa cupcake cake one year and a princess dress another year. It was SO easy and took minimal effort(we did buy an Elsa candle on clearance for 75 centsish). And she still talks about that cake! For the princess dress cake, I grabbed her tiara and it finished off the look nicely.
I really loved your post, because I had been feeling guilty for not having parties for my kids. You always make me feel better!!! Thank you!!!
Andrea says
this is all so great — thanks for sharing!
Ann says
Amen. ONE HUNDRED Amens to this!
Paulette says
Isn’t this the truth!!! Thank you, Andrea.