One of my favorite benefits of being off social media these last couple of years is how much less likely I am to compare myself to others, or want things I don’t really need simply due to the lack of information I see.
Yes, sometimes this gets me into trouble (like when I see a friend at the library and don’t realize it’s her birthday, or when my cousin has a baby and I didn’t even know she was pregnant, or when the Queen passes away 🤷♀️) but most of the time, the lack of social media is an asset for my life — producing more joy and contentment with almost zero effort!
Even still, it’s nearly impossible to get through life (or even one day) without comparing… right?
Certainly, some comparison can be healthy motivation when used in moderation, but I’m convinced that too many of us are carelessly comparing our weaknesses to others’ strengths — without seeing the full picture.
NOTE: I’m so thankful social media was not a “thing” until after I graduated from high school!
Based on what I do for a living, I have a fair amount of interaction with people I’ve never met in real life.
Most of them only know what they read and see on my website — and while I’m truthful and don’t intend to put up a front or pretend to be someone I’m not, there is no way I can expose all facets of my life, my personality, and my home online.
You only see what I choose to share – which are my strengths.
- I enjoy cleaning (even doing the laundry)
- I get a little “high” from just about any organizing project
- I thrive off finding a simpler, better, more efficient way to do anything
- I enjoy cooking and baking — especially when a new recipe turns out amazing
- I love working in my yard
- I get so excited when I find a bargain on something we need or want
- I eagerly work on house and yard projects in my free time
- I love surprising Dave or the kids or our teachers with a special treat or gift
- I look forward to writing my to-do list each night and considering how I’ll cross everything off by the end of the day
Many of you are nodding in agreement because we are very similar.
Others of you don’t share these same gifts and passions… and can sometimes feel “less than” or “not enough” if you selectively compare your lack of specific skills with skills I’ve been working to improve for years.
Has this happened to you?
Yup, me too!
After 12+ years in this online space, I’ve gotten to know many of you quite well. I know that some of you come from very different places in life with very different skills.
For example:
- Some of you are forced to cook with lots of restrictions due to severe allergies, so you don’t always share my love of experimenting in the kitchen.
- Some of you are huge fitness buffs and exercise for extended periods every day and you have no idea why I just can’t get with the program!
- Some of you work full time outside the home and have limited time to devote to home projects.
- Some are single parents (who also work outside the home).
- Some of you don’t have family members nearby to help with children.
- Many of you homeschool and wear multiple hats all day long.
- Some of you care for grandchildren, aging parents, or chronically ill family members.
- Many of you live in areas where the cost of living is significantly higher than in West Michigan so you just can’t imagine how I find so many amazing deals.
Do any of these resonate with you?
You’ve probably noticed that I don’t share much about cooking for dietary restrictions, exercise routines, balancing work and home life, or living with disabilities because I don’t have the experience to speak with authority on those topics.
But if you’re looking for easy recipes, tips to simplify your laundry routine, or motivation to wake up earlier… I’ve got you covered!
It’s not that my life is better or more “put together” – it’s simply that my job is to share my successes.
After all, would you want to read about simplifying, cleaning, organizing, and time management from someone who never cooked or cleaned, was always late to everything, and hated all domestic activities?
I hope not!
Along those same lines, consider these scenarios:
- Are you upset if your child’s teacher is better at teaching math than you are?
- Are you annoyed if your plumber can fix your leaky pipe 10 times faster than you could, even after watching the YouTube videos?
- Are you miffed if your financial advisor knows the answers to all your questions without Googling for hours?
Probably not.
As long as your child is learning, your plumbing problems are fixed, and your financial advice is sound and reliable, you’re good to go — even if you don’t have all those skills yourself.
So why are we so quick to carelessly compare our weaknesses with others’ strengths?
If simplifying, organizing, time management, and productivity are not your strengths but you’d like to improve, then, by all means, keep reading and implementing my ideas. One of these days, something I share is bound to work for you!
However, keep in mind that comparing your weaknesses to my strengths won’t help you one bit. Instead, think of all the skills you have and consider ways to leverage them.
Keep working to learn, grow, and improve, but don’t forget to take pride in your own strengths and passions as well.
Stop carelessly comparing… I’m almost positive you’ll find more joy and contentment as a result!
RELATED READING: What’s Your One Thing?
Carole says
Thank you for this post. It makes me feel better that I’m not domestic at all. I hate to cook, clean, organize, do yard work, house projects. I work full-time outside of the home and have health issues and a child with health issues. Trust me when I say even I wouldn’t want to read any blog I would start 🙂
Doris Reel says
Tried you Sweet Potato Chili meatless. Delicious and liked by all. Will be one of my go to recipes.
Andrea says
yay — this recipe has been a favorite since I first tried it in 2006. SO yummy! Glad you enjoyed it too 🙂
Colleen says
My day always becomes happier when I see a post from you. Even though I’m retired, I love reading every word of every post. Thanks so much!
Andrea says
awww… thanks so much, Colleen!
Pascale says
I agree with everything you wrote, Andrea.
It’s so easy to compare our weaknesses with someone else’s successes.
For instance, I’m someone who gets anxious very easily.
It doesn’t show so much on the outside, but it’s a whole different story on the inside.
This brings me to why I admired Queen Elizabeth II so much.
As a Canadian, Queen Elizabeth II was the only monarch I knew.
She visited my country 22 times.
She was curious and interested in all people, cultures and tribes.
She spoke French eloquently when she was in French Canada.
As I got older, I developed an even stronger love and admiration for the kind, compassionate and humble woman she was and also for the gracious and dutiful leader she was for 70 years.
I often wished I could be as cool, calm and collected as she was at all times and that I would be able to find common grounds to discuss with people that I meet.
Sadly, I don’t have these attributes, but I have others that are just worthy.
Andrea says
yes, you have other attributes, certainly!
We can’t all be the queen 🙂
JoDi says
Your hydrangeas are gorgeous. So thoughtful to save jars to give bouquets as gifts at the end of summer!
I think it’s a shame that social media has become the substitute for interaction with individual friends and family members. I know it’s more work to call or send a group email to tell people you’re pregnant, but it’s sad to me that social media has become “the way” for people to share news, and if you’re not on it, you just don’t hear it! It’s like people have forgotten how to communicate with people outside FB, IG, and the other popular SM apps.
Andrea says
I agree with you for the most part (which is why we still send Christmas cards and birth announcements) but I’m also happy NOT to know most of what people post on social media. I’m happy I don’t know what everyone’s stance is on COVID and masks, I’m happy I don’t know what their political bend is, and I’m happy I don’t have to see everything bloomin’ thing they do all day long 🙂
Oh, and yes, we’re loving the hydrangeas!!
stacie says
I’m so glad you posted this! I recently got off Instagram as I was wasting so much of my time not to mention my self worth as I was comparing like you mention. I did it though because I noticed you have which inspired me too! I feel so much better and am so much more productive! Thank you!!!!
Andrea says
yay, I’m so happy for you! life is better (truly — I’m not just saying that to be cliché) I do miss somethings, but it’s not the end of the world. I learned about the Queen and my cousin’s baby eventually 🙂
Brandi Clevinger says
As a big fan of your blog since 2012, I think this is one of your best posts. Seriously, I always wondered how it was you do what you do and envied the energy you have. But after reading this, I realize that we all do what you do – in our own way. There are so many other thoughts on this, but, in short, thank you for putting this out there. We all need to hear it.
Andrea says
Thanks so much Brandi!
Heather says
I just started reading your blog a couple of weeks ago, and I absolutely love it! I have googled “mom blogs” and “how to get organized” and “homemaking” lots of times, but never found it. I actually googled “we all have the same number of hours in a day” or something close to that, and that is how your blog came up! I was trying to get help on being more punctual because I really struggle with that. You seem very real and are so inspiring to me! I think my favorite posts I’ve read so far are your “10 things I don’t do” and follow-ups.
Andrea says
Thanks so much Heather — glad to have you as a new reader!!
Gaynor Williams says
The reader who thought you pretend to have your entire life put together obviously didn’t read your very honest posts about the challenges of caring for Nora when she was a baby! Nor the (admittedly more light- hearted) post which contained a list of things Nora had cried about that day! I’m a huge fan of yours and, like others, I really appreciate how genuine and “real” your blog is. Long may it continue!
Brandi Clevinger says
I agree, Gaynor!
Jennifer says
I think these are areas in which women put a lot of pressure on themselves, and we are easily intimidated by other women who seem to do it all, without considering that some women just love to do these things. Plus, like you wrote, your not doing it all, but your doing these things exceptionally well–thus your professional business. I think the “unfollower” may be taking it personally and by “unfollowing” you and this life she sees as impossible, she can let herself off the hook. She justified in her mind that you put up a front and can’t possibly be real, so now she doesn’t have to live up that “has it all together” picture. Of course we know she doesn’t, nor does any other woman, but sadly she may be stuck in that comparison trap. It’s common. I’ve been there and still find myself forgetting my own blessings from time to time.
Love your blog, your attitude, and your tips! Planning to link to many of your posts when I get my website back up and running and start blogging to compliment my wellness coaching business!
Jenn says
I think that with the Internet as it is, everyone puts on their best selves, and that’s fine, because I don’t think we all need to talk about the difficult parts of our lives or that people want to hear about them. But I do think that it’s easy to feel like others are doing life better than you when that’s all that you hear. Sometimes I think people are relieved to hear of people’s struggles so that they know they aren’t the only ones who face them.
That said, I do like your blog and the cheerful, can-do attitude that you face life with. It is inspiring!
Andrea says
yes, I think you’re right. The internet is awesome for so many things, but it can definitely play on people’s insecurities.
JJ says
I cannot function when things aren’t clean and neat! When I had eoommates in college, one of my roomies was soooo messy. I could not even function in all that mess. I grew up in a very organized and routine home, and she did not. I kid you not, one day my bossy self told her when I got back from my class I wanted the room to be cleaned up. I had a big project due and needed the desk space(shared desk…college provided all furniture, we couldn’t bring our own). I came back, and I was shocked that the room was indeed cleaned. Then I noticed stuff coming out from under her bed. She had shoved it all under there. I almost died. I LOVE your encouragement to continually purge. I used to have a lot of clothes, and your posts about purging unused clothes really helped. Now it is so much less stressful, and all of our drawers are nicely organized and maintained. So glad you share what works for you, because it has really helped!!!
Kellie Denton says
Ahh I loved this post! I’ve been following your blog since before you were pregnant with Nora – I was a newlywed and totally clueless. Your blog was and continues to be an enormous homemaking help to me! And while I’ve struggled with the temptation to compare, I’m always quick to remind myself you and I are different people with different strengths too! And a huge bonus is that you don’t come across preach-y or condescending. I’ve learned SO much from your blog and now my friends come to me for homemaking advice and encouragements!
Andrea says
this is awesome!! Thanks so much for sharing Kellie!
Tara says
This made me laugh…”After all, would you really want to read a blog about simplifying, cleaning, organizing, and time management from someone who never cooked or cleaned, was always late to everything, and hated all domestic activities?” I realized that actually I DO really love reading a blog like that too!
http://bethwoolsey.com/?s=linen+closet <—Here's a great example by a blogger I love about how to "organize" a linen closet. It's a total riot and she has many legitimate and passionate reasons why housekeeping and home cooking isn't her jam right now. That's not her gift and she just owns it. At the same time she totally inspires me when it comes to being kind to myself, laughing and surviving life when it throws me multiple curveballs. "Finding beauty in the mess" as she calls it.
I love your blog because it invites me to forget about perfection too but it also motivates and inspires me to take little baby steps towards organizational progress and has truly changed how I organize, clean and tackle all kinds of home/family projects. I love her blog because she's helped me find the hilarity and acceptance of when my efforts crash and burn.
Feeling pretty grateful for wonderful bloggers like you today. I think anyone who struggles with thinking you're as perfect and put together as your blog posts make it look hasn't read your blog very thoroughly. You're always adding little disclaimers about how you found out the hard way that this or that didn't work for you but you never focus much space on what went wrong, you push right on through to how you finally figured it out. I think it's the fact that you don't let obstacles or failures get you down or prevent you from accomplishing your goals that might have fooled that reader into thinking you're trying to look perfect. It takes a lot self discipline to keep a good attitude and put in the hard work diligently until things are done.
Andrea says
haha — just read that blog post and it’s funny!
Although that linen closet would TOTALLY stress me out!
I think she’s probably more of a comic blogger — at least what I saw seemed funny to me. So, while you enjoy her blog and her writing style, you might not necessarily get actual organizing tips that you can use in your home and life. I hope my blog offers a few more useful tips (at at least a little humor!)
Tara says
Haha! Right?!?! Yeah, she never gives any real organizing tips. I think she mostly found joy in freaking her readers out that that was the actual state of her linen closet and also to help us all feel better about the little hidden spaces in our homes that are not functioning optimally. Her blog is really more of a mental health/spirituality blog. So very different focus. Her housekeeping posts are deeply ironic and self-depreciating.
JoDi says
Oh, my goodness, I know this comment is old, but thank you for that link, Tara. I laugh-cried out loud at the detailed breakdown in the photo! Need more hilarity like this in my days, so I subscribed.
kari says
Keep up with your good blog, i have been following you since before you had your children . You are a true inspiration . And so good luck with your 4. child.
Kim says
Great post! I read a quote once that “Comparison is the death of contentment.” So true!
Andrea says
yup, I’ve heard that quote too — so true!
Melanie says
Thank you for this post! I am teaching a organizing class at my church this week and have been wondering what I could say that would be meaningful. (I am not an overly organized person so when they asked me to teach this class I laughed…haha…but I always try to better myself and my home) We are all so different and need to remember what is important in our lives. This post was very helpful! May I share parts of it with my group? Thank you for your great advice!
Andrea says
oh wow — good luck with the organizing class 🙂
And yes, feel free to share anything you read on my blog!
Veneta says
This is such a good reminder, Andrea! I’m definitely one of those people that does not enjoy cleaning or organizing (although I love the results!). I love coming to your blog for inspiration and quick tips to simplify my life.
I have followed your blog since it was Simple Organized Living and I will admit that, at times, I had been envious of all that you are able to accomplish when I struggle with just basic organizing and cleaning. However, I have come to realize over time that this is just your personality and that you really enjoy cleaning and organizing (unlike me).
Now, I try to give myself some grace and just enjoy and apply all of your wonderful tips and advice. Thank you!
Andrea says
Don’t be envious — think of all the things you’re probably better at than me 🙂
Ronnie Dean says
I love your blog. I do not have it all together, but I always try to pull what i can from each blog I read and see how I can apply it to my life. I am the single mom to a 14 year old and a 2 year old. I work outside of the home and stink at cooking, but there are so many other positive things to gain from your blog and others. I love your honesty and I love how you do not let the opinions of others change you or quiet you!! Congrats on the upcoming baby!!
Ronnie says
PS….I am a little envious of your hair and I soooo wish I could pull it off, but I am wise enough to know I can’t 🙂
Andrea says
haha — thanks Ronnie!
Short hair definitely isn’t for everyone (and it does look better on certain facial types).
Thanks for your positive words of encouragement!!
Lynn says
What a wonderful post Andrea! Thank you. My friend Angie and I have been following you for years. I always learn something from you and love how real you are. You have never pretended to be something you are not. That is what this world needs these days and what people are craving. We look forward to your posts to come! You were an inspiration (as I have stated previously in a comment on one of your posts) for starting our blog because we wanted to come from the point of women who do work full time and manage menu planning, saving money, etc.
Keep writing and we will keep reading! Again, have a wonderful break with your new family addition!
Jean Schultz says
I loved this post — and loved the comments too. I read you blog because I always learn something and it is like staying up to date with an interesting friend. You do have a great talent for expressing deep thoughts in a way that many people can relate to. My child-rearing days are behind me, but I still am learning from you and others! Regardless of your “season” of life, you can learn from others regardless of their circumstances, personality and talents. You make me think, you remind me of things I have forgotten, you motivate me to be better at some tings and I learn new things. That is why I so look forward to reading the blog — even if it doesn’t relate necessarily relate to my stage of life. And yes — at my “advanced age” I have pretty much given up trying to be anything close to perfect. Age and life have a way of doing that……I assure you.
Michelle says
Absolutely wonderful post today!
I love how you can put this into words but it doesn’t put anyone down. You completely respect the fact that not everyone is like you and you are proud of who you are. At the same time reminding others it’s impossible to be great at everything.
You gave some people something to think about today. I hope they’re able to be ok with their strengths and less judgmental of themselves about their weaknesses.
Thank you for writing this.
Amber Woods says
Such a good reminder today. Thanks for keeping it real!
Victoria says
It boils down to respecting yourself. If we could all just do that, we’d save so much energy and would live in such grace.
Thanks for the daily dose of positivity and hope, Andrea.
Andrea says
exactly — I love the idea of respecting yourself. I hit on this concept a few months ago when I blogged about saying “no” out of respect for yourself. Sometimes, we want to help, but in order to help and say “yes” we end up saying “no” to so many other things (including ourselves). If we just respect our time limits and say “no” when we really can’t commit to something, we will have a much simpler, less stressed life!
Shan says
Dear Andrea,
I love coming to your blog precisely because I am not so great at running a well-organized home. You give me fresh ideas and encouragement, and while I’m at it, I get to follow the progress you and Dave are making with your sweet children and your lovely farm home. And, in no way do you come across having a totally together life. You’re honest about what you don’t spend time on, but that’s because you have set clear priorities for this stage of your family life. Just because I love and learn from your blog does not mean that I’m not good at anything in life 🙂
Andrea says
Exactly — and you’re in good company. I have to believe that the majority of people who read my blog are looking for quick, doable tips to simplify and organize their lives — and hopefully I can keep providing those tips for many years to come!
Leanne says
such an excellent post… I wish I did do a lot of the things you do…but that’s not where my passions are… I like food, kids, and cute families… and I like ideas to be more organized and simplify some of the things I do…and your recipes are easy and yummy…
but, I teach preschool, have 3 busy boys in school, help run a youth group, teach Sunday School… etc… so, I don’t can, and we had frozen pizza last night ;-)…
at the same time..I just love that your blog supports FAMILY… being with and loving your family with your gifts and taletns inspires me to do the same with mine!!
that alone makes your blog a GREAT READ!! and I plan on reading it as long as you’ll write it…!
thank you for what YOU do because it inspires me to focus on what I do… 🙂
Leanne
Andrea says
Thanks Leanne — I hope I’ll be writing for a LONG time so you always have something to read!
krsity says
I so agree with you Leanne. I wish when my girls were younger I had this blog to read. I used to think they had to have a lot of toys, books, etc. I love how your kids have a limited amount and are happy when they receive the. Also love that you buy secondhand at Christmas. My daughter and I shopped at local thrift stores and have found several gifts already. OOOh if you were only around several years ago. Love your family, pictures and the love you have for each other. I hope you do keep up your writing. You also are so much like one of my daughters. She loves to clean, organize and if she is stressed, she cleans to help relieve it. She loves to stay home and your post about being a introvert helped her to feel like she was not the only one like that. Thanks again.
Andrea says
Thanks so much!!
Ruth says
People are so strange, why would she take the time to tell you she’s unsubscribing?LOL
She must be in denial about something…self-reflection takes time.
When my kids were little, I never did Christmas decorations or things around the holiday season. I generally enjoy all the stuff, but I just didn’t want it in my home nor did I want to organize a ton of activity. I did feel guilty and I tried but it was too hard and I didn’t know why I disliked it so much. I am sure if I read your blog back then, I would have felt bad too!
Fast forward several years and as I began to understand myself more, it’s cause I was homeschooling all my kids and was very overwhelmed. Considering the scope of my undertaking, I didn’t like taking on more work or disrupting the momentum of school.
It is only now, that all my kids are now in college, I am beginning to truly realize how much homeschool consumed my life and there was no way I could have done any extra stuff and still have accomplished all that I have.
To each his own, we all the same 24 hours!
p.s. your kids really are dang cute!
Andrea says
You know what — I LOVE doing holiday decorations, but even I have hardly done anything the past 4-5 years because it’s just not that important to me and I don’t want to use any more energy on anything I don’t absolutely have to do!
So yes, even though I can’t imagine how much work homeschooling must have been for you, I DO understand the concept of not doing something you enjoy because you simply don’t have any more time or energy to give!
LoriB says
Well said, Andrea. Never do I feel better when I compare myself to someone else. Either I find myself wanting or think I’m superior. Neither are good for me. I appreciate that you focus on your strengths but give us glimpses of the hard things, too. Its a good balance.
Andrea says
Thanks Lori — I’m always a fan of “balance” even in my blog post topics!
Life definitely isn’t alway easy, but it’s a lot more fun when we focus on our strengths and the positive aspects!
Angela says
One more comment…kind of a “duh” thing. You write about organizing, home care, and cooking for a living, so obviously you’re better than average at it! Light bulb moment. 🙂 It’s kind of like when people see my kids’ birthday party invitations or Valentines and comment about how they could never do something that creative, and I say “Well, uh, I’m a graphic designer, so…yeah…” 🙂
Christine says
Haha, love this! Of course we all put in the effort and look more put together in the areas we enjoy and are good at. I bet your invitations look amazing!
I like to be home and I help people with decluttering, so yes, my home looks tidy all the time. It’s kind of what I do.
I love the mentality of not being “ashamed” to be good at something. Why do I feel like I should downplay my strengths?
Andrea says
Definitely don’t be ashamed of your strengths! Men are MUCH better at this than women!
Andrea says
Yes, you’re right. I’ve alluded to this before in other posts as well. Cleaning and Organizing are what I LOVE to do and what I get PAID to do — so of course I’m “better than average” at those activities.
And, in response to your previous comment — almost every artistic person I know is NOT type A 🙂
Angela says
Really interesting concept to think about. I read your blog for inspiration and ideas, and because after reading a blog for some time, you come to really enjoy hearing about the person’s family and life. It’s kind of like a little visit with a friend. For me, I desire to have a tidy home, well-planned meals and a routine that minimizes stress. But as you pointed out, personalities, interests, and talents vary. I’m a creator and artist for a living (which is an inherently messy job, and I’m probably not type A). If I’m absorbed in a project, the house will suffer. 🙂 And I need to be ok with that. I am still able to utilize some tips to make small improvements though. (Lately I’ve been saying “do it now…do it now….” in my mind.) 🙂 And our family’s schedule cannot be compared in any way to yours, as we are in different seasons of life. I do wish I would’ve had some of your ideas to implement when all my kids were little and still at home though! 🙂 I just had a great visit with a friend last week about how we manage our homes and “do it all”. I shared that I don’t do all the laundry – my husband and big kids do their own. My friend couldn’t fathom that, because she is very particular about how her laundry is washed and folded. And that it’s fine…what matters to one person may not matter to another, and that’s ok!
Mandy says
One of the best things about your blog is that it’s REAL. So many other blogs are unrelatable because everything looks perfect – clothes, hair, decor. You do a good job of showing your real life – a mom who loves her kids & tries to keep a tidy home. You don’t need to share every last detail/struggle.
Andrea says
Thanks Mandy,
I quickly tire of the blogs and articles that area always ranting and raving about how hard motherhood and domestic life are. In my opinion, I’d rather find simple ways to make motherhood less exhausting and housework more fun. At least those types of posts are helpful!
Deb says
Totally thought of your blog last night as we are without power in Central Florida and have been forced to “find things in the dark.” ☺
Andrea says
oh no — sorry to hear you’re without power right now! But yes, finding things in the dark is one of the benefits of being organized 🙂
Deb says
Just got electricity back, only 36 hours. We are VERY fortunate and so thankful!
Andrea says
yay — so happy for you!
Heidi says
Yes! Blog post idea- what to do about keeping freezer food safe during a power outage! Life in South Carolina- two snowflakes will shut us all down for a week but apparently a tropical storm will do the same!
Andrea says
well… I’d say a generator is your best bet — other than that, I can’t think of anything else that would work (especially not in warmer weather).
Rhonda says
This is a nice reminder. It is really quite funny that someone took the time to write you about how they are upset with you pretending to have your life put together and have to unfollow your blog…a blog that they have chosen to follow in the first place…I wonder if that person really felt great about typing a mean-spirited note to you? Somehow I doubt it. It’s so easy for people to do that over the internet, and they often forget that there’s a real person with feelings on the other end of it! Good for you if you didn’t let it get to you.
Deni says
I have followed your blog for many years now (since the old house), and yours is one of the very few that I have stuck with. I always find inspiration and motivation here and love following along with your family life. Thank you for being authentic and very honest, your blog is my favorite 🙂
P.S. You could seriously be a Psychologist!
Andrea says
Thanks Deni I appreciate your LONG time readership — and I actually have a psychology minor!