As an educated adult who values frugality and simplicity AND has a decent amount of self-control, it’s shocking how quickly I can be swayed into making a purchase someone or something convinces me I might need (especially if it’s a good deal!)
Can you relate?
Most of us probably agree that we need very little… yet at the same time, there are so many things we want.
There’s no quick fix for not wanting something cool, unique, or new when we see it — this is part of human nature — but I do have a few relatively simple strategies I use myself (and with my children) that seem to help curb our consumeristic tendencies and.
As a result, we live more simply, have less clutter, and stick more closely to our budget (win, win, win!)
These ideas are especially relevant now, as we gear up for another holiday season filled with so much consumerism… but keep them handy in your back pocket because they work well during the rest of the year too! 😏
Strategy #1 = Don’t Shop
So simple… right!?!
This applies to in-store shopping, online shopping, and even thrift store shopping (ahem!)😉
Maybe it’s a little too simplistic, but speaking from lots and lots of experience, it really works!
Even if your intentions are just to “window shop” or browse Facebook Marketplace, the chance that you purchase something is exponentially higher than if you simply didn’t shop.
Thrift stores can be so alluring this time of year as well — after all, you never know what bargain you might stumble across (but not if you don’t shop!)
While you’re at it, take a few minutes to cancel the sales catalogs that come to your home and unsubscribe from any coupon and deal emails that inevitably cause you to want more. This has made a massive difference for me (especially unsubscribing).
Utilizing this simple strategy could also alert you to a potential shopping addiction — specifically if you feel down or depressed without shopping, if you catch yourself constantly gravitating towards certain stores/shops, or if you find yourself unconsciously scrolling various store apps on your phone.
Strategy #2 = Monitor Your Media
While it’s not possible to avoid all media and advertising these days, it IS very possible to intentionally limit the media messages you take in (or allow your family to take in).
There are dozens of studies that clearly correlate the increased use of media to an increased desire to have more, be more, and do more (and not in a positive “goal setting” type of way).
Social media, in particular, is lowering our life satisfaction and increasing our desire for consumption — even if we don’t necessarily need anything (which, we probably don’t).
- Do you read other blogs and wish you had their hair, their fashion sense, their kitchen, their home, their skillset, or their family?
- Do you scroll through social media and come away feeling like your life would be so much better if you just had whatever your online “friends” have?
- Do you flip through recent magazines as you wait in the checkout line or at the dentist’s office and feel less-than or lacking as a result?
- And what about all the podcast and YouTube advertisements that pop into the middle of our listening/watching?
Advertising is no longer just for TV commercials — it’s literally EVERYWHERE! Even if you don’t realize it, you (and your kids) are being bombarded with consumeristic messages everywhere you turn.
Of course, I don’t think buying something you see on the internet or flipping through the latest issue of Magnolia is inherently bad… but if your goal is to curb consumeristic cravings, I’d highly recommend cutting back on all media.
- Stop watching TV — yes, this includes the news and the weather!
- Stop watching YouTube — there are so many ads on this platform.
- Stay away from all social media
- Stop listening to podcasts and switch to audiobooks for a while.
- Delete new, TV, media, and shopping apps from your phone and other devices.
- Set boundaries for when you will and will not use your phone.
- Use a tool like News Feed Eradicator to keep you away from certain social media sites (it works SO well — there’s no cheating!)
- You could even go so far as to delete your social media and store accounts so you can’t log in.
Strategy #3 = Use Different Language
Words are very powerful!
How we talk to ourselves and to others makes a big difference in how we feel about certain things (including how we feel about things we think we “need” or really “want”)
I try to be intentional about how I talked about things I like and things the kids like — making it clear that we can LIKE and APPRECIATE certain items without also needing to buy them for ourselves.
For example, instead of saying: “I want that” or “I need that” say, “that toy looks cool” or “I like how that wall color looks with that couch” or “I like the style of that jacket.”
It’s amazing how different I feel about something when I can simply acknowledge that I like it or that it looks nice, but I don’t necessarily want to have it or feel like I need it to make me happier.
Kids pick up on this too — and it can help them deal with some of their excess wants and desires.
Then, when you come across a great deal on something you’ve considered purchasing for a while, you don’t need to feel guilty because you know the difference between liking and appreciating what others have versus actually buying something you want/need for your own home and life.
This is something you can start doing right now… and when you slip up (because you will likely slip up) just keep reminding yourself that the language you use around consumerism makes a difference for you and your family.
Strategy #4 = Limit Gift-Giving Traditions
I actually really enjoy giving and receiving gifts.
In fact, “gifts” is my #2 love language — it comes naturally to me.
However, I’ve made a conscious effort to limit gift-giving traditions with my children — mainly because gifts can easily turn into a numbers game of being “fair”, giving everyone the same number of gifts, spending the same amount of money on every person, and stressing over finding just the right gift.
I’ve also talked with our extended family members and, as a result, have drastically reduced the number of gifts they give our family!
I still regularly surprise my children with little gifts throughout the year (just because — and not necessarily for all of them at one time). But we don’t do many gifts for birthdays or Christmas. And we don’t do any gifts for any other holidays or special events.
We usually give our kids a few small birthday and Christmas gifts (often used and secondhand items) and then we’ll DO something fun together as a family — go out to eat, get a membership somewhere, etc.
Of course, I don’t think there’s much harm in a few little gifts for various holidays throughout the year… I just don’t want my kids to associate “celebrating” with “getting something”.
We can “celebrate” with crafts, special recipes, countdown chains, costumes, parades, movie night, a family outing, etc., but we don’t always need another gift just because Hallmark says it’s a special day.
If I tried, I could easily come up with 20 more tips and strategies… but these 4 cover a lot of ground.
Of course, these tips won’t work immediately; but over time, they will help you and your family curb your consumerism and enjoy what you already have instead of always wanting more.
As an added bonus, when you habitually bring less into your home, you’ll spend much less time cleaning, organizing, and decluttering!
Do you have any other strategies to curb consumerism?
Donna Marie says
I find that if you don’t drive to go shopping you have less stress in your life. You don’t spend the money, and the time away from home, therefore you have time at home with your spouse and family and you have time to clean your home! It’s a win, win situation!!!
Andrea says
This is exactly how I feel about shopping too (although I know not everyone agrees)! Some really enjoy shopping and actually use it as a “relational” thing — going with friends, family, etc.
Nancy says
I can see this is an old article but I have to tell something I heard lately. We are completely renovating a 1977 house and therefore I’m on HGTV, Apartment Therapy, and etc all the time. I need ideas for the kitchen and I’m so concerned about “trends” and our realtor says be neutral and keep reselling in mind when you do something.
I heard when you do these generic things to your house, you are basically renting from the next owner!!! No more renting!!! That’s freed me up a lot.
I don’t want a pink hobbit kitchen or anything too crazy. One or the other would great.
Andrea says
yes definitely — thinking about resale is a great idea when doing home renovations. However, I always want it to be something I really like too — unless I’m just flipping the house. If I’m going to live there for a while, I want to love it 🙂
Rita Lane says
I love your weekly emails since I enjoy reading about the practical ways you are raising your family. But I find this article about avoiding stores and online shopping while flooding your site with ads coming at me. Luckily, I know how to focus on your writing and not focusing on the ads. I also realize this is how you have an income coming in from your blog, etc.
Just thought I would share the irony of it all.
Ann says
LOL!
MY dis call you my personal shopper because I buy whatever you recommend and often buy one for them as well!
Andrea says
haha that’s funny! Well I try to ONLY recommend items I really like, items that help simplify my life/home in some way, and items that aren’t astronomically over-priced! Glad you have found a few you enjoy too!
Sue O says
I had a brilliant idea a couple years ago and jumped on it. So far, it works great… I currently have 9 great nieces and nephews under the age of 3! I started buying them matching Christmas pjs (Honest Baby or Burts Bees organic cotton) for the littles. It ends up being around $15 or less per child. I send them out through Amazon in October so they can enjoy them for the season. They get tons of use, some really cute group pics and then can be passed down since they are neutral designed. Now I’m the Christmas pj (great) Aunt! This year, one of my nieces decided to order some for her and her husband to match, so that’s a little less expense for them also if they want the whole family match.
Andrea says
This IS a great idea — thanks for sharing, Sue!
Ann says
I’ve implemented these tips many times in the past and then catch myself falling into the same bad habits . I needed the reminders not to browse and to cancel emails! Amazon and Target online are my weaknesses !!
We have not given our kids Christmas gifts for the past 3 years, they get a stocking with a Target gift card and a few consumables, and they do secret Santa among themselves and pick out something from 5 below .
We do give them a nicer birthday gift and I pick up things here and there from marketplace. I’ve been staying away from goodwill and garage sales unless we need something specific .
I did pick up a beautiful pottery barn table from market place a couple weeks ago because it’s something I have been specifically looking to buy for years, yes years! I was very patient and almost bought new or something not exactly what I wanted a few times . Glad I waited
Andrea says
Oh yes, we can all easily fall back into bad habits if we’re not careful — just pick up where you left off and try not to let yourself feel guilty 🙂
And yay for a super good deal on a table you’ve been looking for. I love when that happens!
Nancy says
When my kids were younger, we made a point of watching Madame Blueberry (Veggie Tales) a few times during the run up to Christmas. A good reminder that we don’t need all the stuff!
Andrea says
ah yes, we watched that one a few times too when they were younger — in fact it was one of their favorites!
Carol says
I had a dear friend who taught me many years ago to ask these questions when I saw something while shopping and I still live by it today.
Is it something I WANT or something I NEED. If it is something I need WHERE am I going to put it.
If I cannot answer these questions then I need to walk away.
Andrea says
YES exactly!!
Marcia says
I recently had a garage sale. Believe me, that cures me of buying wants. I got so little for my items, and even didn’t sell many drastically reduced items! Whenever I go to the store, I remind myself of the garage sale!
Andrea says
yeah, I know many people who are sorely disappointed after realizing how little they make from garage sales — one of the reasons I’ve never had one myself. I love shopping at them, but I’m pretty sure it’s not worth the extra work for me to have my own!
Angela says
I agree, especially with the point about being careful about the language you use. I’ve been fortunate to never have really struggled with the “I wants” with my kids, and I think the reason is that I’ve always kept an ongoing list of the things that catch their eye. We never buy toys, clothes, etc. “just because”, but if we happen to be shopping and decide to browse through a toy aisle (because it’s fun to look), the kids know not to say “I want that”, but instead they’ve learned to say “I like that, can you put it on my list?” I used to always keep a notepad in my purse, and I’d jot a note down on their list page. Now I keep a list on my phone, and sometimes take a photo of the item. This helps at Christmas to think of gift ideas they’d like, and it also helps them to not feel like I’m always saying no or that they’re deprived of anything. I’m validating the fact that they like something, and maybe they just might receive it as a gift! It also works for me…rather than impulse buying something that catches my eye (I’m a sucker for cute Pioneer Woman bowls and mugs), I’ll add it to my list or snap a photo. That gives me time to think about it, decide if it really fills a need or matches my decor, and if I still want it next time I’m shopping, maybe I’ll get it (and I have gift ideas ready at Christmas). Often times though, I forget all about it, or the item has lost its luster by the time I see it again. This really helps with managing clutter, budgeting, and limiting buyer’s remorse!
Rhonda says
I also do the “list” on my phone. When I see an idea for someone, I make note of it in my “notepad” app on my phone. There’s a notepad for grandparents, husband, each kid, etc. It really does help me out during holiday time.
Andrea says
good idea Rhonda!
Andrea says
yes, language is so important — and not just for “wants” either. I’m careful how I talk about our finances (I never say “we can’t afford that”) our time, and so many other aspects of life.
Kristina R says
But reading your blog makes ne want your kitchen…
Andrea says
haha — oh no! We do love our kitchen, and I’m SO glad we won’t have to live through another kitchen renovation any time soon!
Laura says
I come from another country and was surprised by the number of Christmas gifts kids get here. We typically got one gift from parents, grandparents and aunts/uncles each. Since my family lives abroad, for Christmas my kids typically get one present from parents, one from Santa (now it is one they asked and for and one surprise) and little things in their stockings. But since the tim they got their allowances they pick a Christmas gift from Compassion or Samaritan Purse (chickens” school supplies, etc) which they pay with their own money and we match it. We cut out the picture from the catalog and put it in a box under the tree. That is their gift for Jesus. After all, it is His birthday.
Georgia says
I came to the conclusion many years ago that shopping is not a form of recreation. I was amazed at all the people looking forward to the weekend so they could spend it at a mall and of course one must stop and eat while there. I shared this thought with a close family member and she had never realized that her family used shopping as a form of recreation.
Erin says
Great tips. I have to work on the no shopping part. I love to shop so I always struggle in that area.
I have a good saying I use with my kiddos when they get the gimmes and are asking for something. I say, “oh, of course you can have it. Did u bring your money?” Inevitably they say, no. I usually say, “that’s a bummer. You’ll have to remember your money next time or save up to buy it.” That almost always works b/c I didn’t say no, but they don’t expect me to buy it either.
Summer says
I totally threw out the American Girl magazine!!! I NEVER let any of my girls see it! 🙂
Michelle O. says
Our family is so fortunate to want for nothing. It’s something that I’m always aware of to be consciously grateful for. I don’t call it “lucky” because my husband and I work really hard to be good managers of our income (although after 28 years we’ve definitely made a few mistakes 🙂 ).
When our four children were younger and we would write letters to Santa (which we always told them wasn’t a real person exactly, just a picture of magic in the Christmas spirit of giving and kindness), I made a rule that they weren’t allowed to write “I want”. Instead, they could write “I’m interested in…” or “I’ve spent a lot of time … this year.” The “use different language” at work.
Another thing that we did was to not bring anything back for them from a work trip. We started this early on so they never did expect anything and still don’t. I always say that having their military dad return safely home was the best present ever. It definitely changes your perspective.
I also keep a notebook in my purse to jot down any ideas or items that the kids seem to be particularly interested in. I find this keeps me from purchasing last minute items just to have a gift for someone.
Andrea says
Thanks for all of these tips and suggestions Michelle — I’m am tucking them away for a year or so down the road. So great!!
Amy says
I’m game to listen to your 20 other tips! Lol! Seriously in our over the top consumer society here….I/we need to hear all this. I think we do a good job comparatively, but could still use some work. I really would love some advice as far as my kids are concerned. They are young…6,3, and a baby. We do not go overboard with presents but neighbors and family do. My daughter said to me once, why don’t you get me nice presents like Nana does? Nana goes into debt to buy over the top gifts by the way. We do our best teaching wise with the kids but I don’t know if it’s getting through or just making them want more. Over the last couple of years I’ve been able to decrease the gifts from family to just birthdays…but for birthdays Nana still goes overboard. Like $200 in gifts for a 6 year old from one person is way too much!! We want to buy our children gifts too (and do) but then feel guilty because they already get so much and we are afraid we are creating monsters. Ah! This is such a sore spot for me. I hope my rant made sense.
Andrea says
I totally understand why this is frustrating… and I also understand that it could create some tension right now when the kids are younger. HOWEVER, I’m almost positive that when your children are older (certainly when they are adults), they will see how ridiculous it is for someone to go into debt to buy over-the-top gifts.
I know that’s a long time to wait, but as long as you keep explaining and modeling good financial principles for them, they will eventually catch on.
Also, one thing I often do is give gifts to my children “for no reason” at times other than their birthday or a holiday. This way, I’m the ONLY one giving them something so there’s no “competition”. Then we majorly scale back for birthday and Christmases since they get so many other gifts from well-meaning relatives. My “for-no-reason-gifts” could be a special food item, a fun craft, an experience, a “date” with mom or dad, letting them pick something from the thrift store, etc.) Small and usually not expensive, but special!
Lee Winemiller Cockrum says
We always got one gift for birthdays, no gifts for Easter or Valentine’s, just a bit of candy. We did get a fair amount at Christmas…at least it seemed like it’s to me! Lots of fun though! My mom did use it as a time to stock up our art supplies, slippers, a few other clothing necccesities.
Andrea says
Yes, I’m also a fan of socks, undies, slippers, and craft supplies as kid’s gifts. They have the fun of unwrapping something they needed anyway — it’s a win-win!
Deana Wiese says
The not shopping is HUGE!! I greatly dislike shopping, but always get sucked in when I do step into a store. Since kids, I have zero time to shop, and it’s been a blessing in disguise. Much less anxiety and much more time for the important things.
Andrea says
haha — yes, we are “lucky” that we don’t like shopping. We save so much time, energy, money, and stress!
Nicole Hodge Pittaluga says
Make a rule to only pay cash for “wants” and put a 24-hr waiting period on purchase. Chances are, I’m too busy the next day and I forget about item or move on to something else. Also, I try to think of how many of same type of items (purse, shoes, necklace, kitchen gadget) I already own. I go back to “shopping” in my own house for things I don’t use very often.
Liz C says
The ability to reframe language is one we use with our kids, with good success. I always have my notebook with me. Each child has a page in that notebook. When we’re out and see something neat that they “want”, they can point it out to me and say, “That’s one for my list!” I note the item, price, and location on their list of Things That Are Neat. If something gets consistent notice over the span of months, that’s an item or experience I’m going to look closely at for a potential gift. Most of the time, just the act of pointing out and acknowledging the coolness of something is all that was truly needed.
Andrea says
the notebook is a great idea! thanks for sharing Liz!
Jj says
A friend of ours usually gave her kids a new book for Valentines Day but one year gave everyone in the family a new pillow. They loved it! Haha! And I LOVE your word choices with your kids and have been trying to implement them. I often say it’s not in our budget, so theyou know they can’t get it. But I like the way you word it. It makes it a positive thing!
Andrea says
haha — I’d take a new pillow for Valentine’s Day!!
Kelly S says
I especially like your media tip… I don’t think I always realize what an influence reading blogs, Facebook ads, etc, have on me… Especially since so many ads are targeted so perfectly to me now with their “magic” of figuring out what products I would like based in my internet history.
One additional tip that helps me:
I keep a “wish list” on one of the back pages of my planner, where it is accessible but not very visible to me. When something pops into my head to buy, I record it back there, unless it is something I know we truly need (I.e. Diapers). I usually things sit on that list for a few days, or even longer, before adding them to a shopping list. Often after a few days, I realize I don’t really want it anymore. Or, at least not yet, and I can just let it sit on the list till a special occasion or gift card or whatever. But, I like knowing it is written down because then I don’t have to think/lust after it anymore. 🙂
Andrea says
oh yes, the wish list. I keep one of these too. Not only is it great for reducing “wants” it’s also really handy whenever someone asks about buying gifts for me or the kids!
Christine from The (mostly) Simple Life says
I hardly ever shop in store, but shopping online is a major weakness! I don’t often order things, but I do plenty of browsing. I do need to limit by visits to Sam’s Club though. I always find cool kitchen stuff or comfy clothes that I want and it’s so easy to go over budget there!
Andrea says
yes, you’re the same as me — hardly ever shop in stores, but online is a lot easier!
Angela says
I agree about kids and commercials. We don’t have cable or Netflix so the majority of our kids’ cartoon viewing is on PBS, but it’s interesting to see how commercials catch their interest when they’re at their grandparents’ houses. I vividly remember Saturday morning cartoons and the advertisements for the latest toys and cool tennis shoes! Nothing like a snazzy commercial to make you aware of something you MUST HAVE, when five seconds ago you didn’t even know it existed!
I’ve also always made an effort to choose my words carefully (not saying “I want” or “we can’t afford”), and I keep a notebook in my purse to jot down items that the kids (or I) like. My mom jokes about how she’s never heard kids who instead of saying “I want that”, say “Can you put that on my list?” : ) It works with me to eliminate impulse purchases also. If I jot it down, and if when I’m at the store again the next week, I still really want that item, I’ll seriously consider it. But often times, the item isn’t as appealing a week later, or it might even be gone. In which case, it wasn’t supposed to be mine! : )
I admire the ideas you share for being very real and attainable, especially the home decor, fashion, and organizing ideas that don’t require a big budget. Your blog leaves me feeling inspired and energized, not envious or down on myself or my home.
I do envy your hair though. : ) I wish I could get my short hair to flip up into a cute faux-hawk like you’ve been doing – it’s such a fun style! Alas, my hair is much too thick and heavy and straight for that. : ) You must have some natural curl/wave.
Mary Campbell says
I spent the weekend working the yard sale area of my quilt guild’s show. I have a few strategies that kept me from buying. First, I had measured and priced fourteen boxes of donated fabric (from myself and a friend). Second, I fondled the fabric I already own and love before going to the show. Third, during the sale I kept repeating to myself, “I am in touch with the abundance in my life.” I also remind myself it’s unlikely that anything I haven’t needed in the last 60 years is something I need now. That said, I did buy a couple of notions that I’ve been lusting after for years–I limit my buying to yard sales.
My guild has mini-groups that challenge one another to embrace new ideas, new materials, new techniques, and new tools. Four of us have started out own mini-group–“No New Ideas.” We have enough ideas to last the rest of our lives, so we’ve been able to cancel magazine subscriptions, pass on workshops that require new tools, and stay home sewing during the local shop hop.
Andrea says
Love these tips — thanks for sharing Mary!
Leslie says
A few times a year I take a month off from buying anything non-essential. Next month is “No-Buy November.” If I see anything I’ve “gotta have,” I promise myself not to buy it that month, and if I really want it I’ll get it the next month. Usually I forget about it. It really helps me distinguish the difference between want and need. Of course this shouldn’t be an excuse for “loading up” the month before and/or after 🙂
Angela says
I meant to comment on Leslie’s response too…I think taking a month off from buying extras is SO refreshing! I like to do it in January or February, after all the excess of the Christmas season. It helps me to re-focus on budgeting and turns my attention back to the great feeling I get when I take good care of our family’s resources. It’s a good excuse to use up some extras from the pantry and freezer, and it’s also really refreshing to see just how little we really “need”. Great tip!
Andrea says
Yes, I’ve often done this in January or February too. We did it in May once at it was a lot harder since I wanted to get stuff for the garden and house projects!
Andrea says
We’ve done this in the past too! I is always amazing to me how challenging it can be not to buy anything unnecessary!
Deb says
Watch “Hoarding, Buried Alive” once a week. Just joking. Keeping a list of things that you “want” but don’t need with the prices that you are willing to pay next to each item. For example, I am looking for a buffet for our dining room and I don’t want to pay over $50. I don’t need it, but if I found the right one for $50, I would pick it up.
I also think it helps to know EXACTLY where you are going to put it or store it when not in use. Some things are nice to have like at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but storing a roasting pan or turkey platter year round takes up a lot of room.
Overall, though I would say that having an ongoing list and avoiding trips to tempting stores are my best ways to curb the desire for MORE!
Chris says
Deb,
Your first sentence says it all! I’ve only seen the show a few times because I find parts of it frightening, but every time I watch it I immediately fill up two bags: one for donation and one for the trash. It’s the cleaning equivalent of Scared Straight!
Andrea says
haha — so funny (and sad) and true! Good tip!
Also, you know how much I love lists 🙂