In a world of Hollywood romance and “highlight reels”, it’s tempting to believe our relationships are lacking. What Hollywood doesn’t tell us though, is that healthy marriages are built on the faithful pursuit and practice of everyday love.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” 1 Corinthians 13:4
Thanks to Hollywood’s big screens, “reality” TV, and the seemingly innocent fairytale stories we learn to love before we really even understand what love is, our view of romance is extremely distorted.
From an early age, we’re taught that romantic relationships require fancy gowns, expensive jewelry, surprise getaways, mushy love notes, intense passion, and at least a few dozen roses.
Those can be expressions of love… but, with divorce rates on the rise across the nation and passive-aggressive chatter becoming the norm in our social circles, I can’t help but wonder if our relationship frustrations are due in part to the unrealistic expectations we place on “romance”.
Relationship advice is a regular request in my inbox… but I usually shy away from this topic because I don’t feel qualified.
Certainly, 15 years doesn’t make me a marriage expert.
And to be frank, our relationship hasn’t weathered all that many “storms”.
By God’s grace, we have no redemption story, no “5 steps to how we rekindled the flame”, no dramatic forgiveness, or “why I took him back” narrative. Not even a light-hearted tale of “the night he slept on the couch” (unless you count the time he was sick).
We love and respect each other… and we really like being together too.
Some of your relationships are not as fortunate. They are riddled with pain, hurt, heartache, loss, and anger — for this, I am saddened.
My intention in sharing today is not to cause more pain and hurt.
Rather, I hope to give center stage to the often-overlooked little acts of “everyday love” that are the cornerstone of our relationship. It’s not nearly as glamorous as those Hollywood movie romances, but it’s so much more rewarding.
I’m also sharing a few practical tips AND some of my favorite relationship resources below!
But first, let me share a few silly stats from the past decade…
Less than 10 = The number of actual “dates” we’ve gone on since having children.
2 = The number of nights we’ve spent together, away from our children (one of which was at our own house).
1 = The number of times we’ve hired a babysitter.
1 = The number of times Dave has surprised me with jewelry, flowers, or chocolates (it was our engagement story).
0 = The number of anniversary or Valentine’s gifts I’ve received from Dave.
0 = The number of fancy vacations we’ve been on.
0 = The number of love notes either of us has written.
Too Many To Count = The number of times Dave has sacrificially given up something for my happiness.
Every Single Day = The number of days he has spoken my love language through small acts of service.
Google +1 (as our kids say) = The number of moments I feel safe, heard, happy, respected, and loved.
Even the best Hollywood romance can’t possibly depict how it feels when he helps clean up your child’s puke a 2 am. When he compliments the meal you know full well is burnt. When he intuitively picks up your slack without keeping score. When he listens without offering advice. When he lightens a tense situation with a cheesy joke. When he is so safely predictable he can’t surprise me even if he tried.
We rarely see that faithful everyday love on the big screens — and it truly makes all the difference for us.
Pursuing a healthier relationship…
There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to a happier, healthier marriage (at least not in my experience).
What follows, however, is a short list of ideas to aid in your pursuit of a healthier marriage relationship.
They can’t possibly apply to every relationship, but I truly hope one or two will resonate with your current season of life.
Baby steps — right!
If you’re single…
- Embrace your singleness.
- Find hobbies you enjoy, pursue a career you feel passionate about, support a cause you believe in.
- Focus on developing other relationships (friends, family, coworkers, neighbors)
- Get involved in church or volunteer opportunities.
- Read about the different personality types, search for free personality quizzes online, and learn as much as you can about your specific personality.
- Dig deep to uncover what makes you unique and special.
- Pray for your future spouse.
- Don’t settle for someone because you’re too eager to be in a relationship.
If you’re dating…
- Stop watching chick flicks and other cheesy rom-com TV shows and movies that distort your views of real-life relationships.
- Stop reading romance novels (even the “Christian” ones). They overly romanticize relationships, and, in my opinion, they aren’t realistic.
- Focus on yourself as an individual, not just as half of a couple (study your own personality as I mentioned above.)
- Read several of the resources I recommend at the end of the post.
- Continue to pursue individual hobbies and friendships.
- Talk about everything together! Your ideas, dreams, goals, expectations, money, sex, faith, careers, etc.
- Spend time as a couple with each of your families and friends — they will be a big part of your life moving forward.
- Seek counsel from those you trust who are older than you (parents, pastors, mentors).
- Don’t try to change your significant other… they most likely will not change and they’ll resent you for trying.
If you’re newly married…
- Read The 5 Love Languages, learn how to speak your spouse’s love language fluently, and practice speaking it every day.
- Strive to continually learn more about relationships (use the resources I link to below).
- Look for little ways to encourage each other every day.
- Try to live “unoffendable” and let the little things go.
- Communicate daily… share it all.
- Ask… don’t assume.
- Commit to never speaking poorly of your spouse in front of anyone else — this is HUGELY important for us.
- Put your spouse’s needs and wants ahead of your parents’ or siblings’ (you’re a new family together now!)
- Join a small group, find a source of accountability, or attend counseling (it’s much more effective as a preventative measure than a last resort when the relationship is in turmoil).
- Live simply and resist the temptation to “keep up with the Joneses”. It’s so important to set good habits early on in your marriage. Plus, it will be harder to dig yourself out of debt once you have children in the mix… and finances are a HUGE source of relationship conflict.
If you’re in the thick of kids and jobs and stress…
- Take a deep breath.
- Prioritize your marriage — remember, one of the best gifts you can give your children is a healthy marriage (this does not need to be a traditional “date night” or anything fancy).
- Consistently praise, encourage, and compliment your spouse in front of your children.
- Surround yourself with peers who are committed to similar family values and who challenge you to grow in your marriage and parenting.
- Seek out little moments to speak your spouse’s love language throughout the day.
- Regularly discuss your goals, dreams, values, and hopes so you “stay on the same page”.
- Monitor your media (social media, news, advertisements, TV, books, podcasts, etc.) If you feel negatively affected by any of it, remove it from your life for this season. Your family needs you to be mentally and emotionally strong — not rife with fear and anxiety.
- Stop keeping score — life isn’t fair and marriage is not a competition. It doesn’t matter who gets up more with the kids, who takes out the trash X number of times, who wakes up earlier, who spends more on clothing, who works more hours. You are a team and should both give 100% (not 50/50). Focus more on what YOU can bring to your relationship.
- Keep learning — read books about healthy relationships, listen to podcasts on marriage and parenting, attend a marriage retreat, go to counseling, seek out opportunities to grow, improve, learn, and implement.
- Evaluate your life and eliminate commitments and obligations that cause stress as stress negatively affects ALL relationships. (These might be REALLY big decisions like downsizing your home, quitting a stressful job, ending a long-standing tradition, or pulling your kids out of extracurricular activities. I promise it will be worth it in the end!)
If you’re empty nesters…
- Enjoy doing all the things you really wanted to do together but didn’t because you had young kids who needed you!
- Try new hobbies, start new traditions, and create new shared experiences together.
- Find a physical activity you enjoy doing together (hiking, biking, fishing, etc.)
- Be a cheerleader for your adult children — let them live their lives, praise what they do well, be available for help and guidance when they ask.
- Invite them back into your life/home/family but don’t be offended if they say no at times (they need time to create their own traditions and learn what works for them)
- Be the fun grandparents who say “yes” almost all the time.
- Look for ways to encourage and mentor younger married couples.
If you’re in an unhealthy relationship…
- Focus on what you can control… yourself. Read, journal, pray, and go to counseling (even if your spouse will not.)
- Write down what you are thankful for in your relationship each day — as many tiny things as you can think of.
- Surround yourself with other uplifting relationships.
- Continue speaking their love language (even if they never speak yours).
- Respond, don’t react.
- Ask, don’t assume.
- Nix sarcasm, passive-aggressive comments, and guilt trips — they never work.
- Seek medical help for chemical imbalances (depression, anxiety, etc.)
- Create boundaries for yourself and your relationship*.
* If your relationship is abusive in any way (verbal, mental, emotional, or physical) please remove yourself from the home/relationship — even if it’s only temporary.
My Favorite Relationship Books:
- The 5 Love Languages (Gary Chapman)
- His Needs, Her Needs (Willard Harley) — Here’s a great summary.
- The Meaning of Marriage (Tim and Kathy Keller)
- What Did You Expect? (Paul David Tripp)
- The Four Tendencies (Gretchen Rubin)
- Boundaries (Henry Cloud & John Townsend)
- Boundaries in Marriage (Henry Cloud & John Townsend)
- It’s Not Suppose to Be This Way (Lysa TerKeurst)
- Forgiving What You Can’t Forget (Lysa TerKeurst)
- The Bible (start with 1 Corinthians 13)
Pick one, dive in, and get ready to take notes (I have several binders filled with notes). Then… most importantly… TAKE ACTION!
Encouraging Podcasts:
I enjoy listening to these while cooking, walking, folding laundry, gardening, etc.
Related Blog Posts:
- Dream Weddings, Date Nights, and a Decade with Dave
- The Quest for “Fair” Can Ruin your Relationship
- An Attitude of Hospitality Towards Our Families
- Don’t Let Housework Hurt Your Relationship
- Our Favorite At-Home Date Nights (COVID-style!)
- Our Engagement Story (the only time he’s ever surprised me!)
- Laughter is the Best Medicine
If your relationship is filled with magical romance, enjoy it!
However, don’t let yourself think it’s necessary for a happy, healthy marriage.
After years of daily choosing kindness, letting the little things slide, working through the big things, always striving to learn and grow, giving more than we take, and seeking out small moments in the midst of the mundane — I’m confident that faithfully pursuing everyday love trumps Hollywood romance Every. Single. Time!
“And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
Emma {Emma's Little Kitchen} says
Love this! When my husband gets up with the baby so I can sleep for 30 extra minutes, I think its pretty much the most romantic thing in the world. I would take that over a dozen red roses any day 🙂
Debbie says
Thank you for a beautiful piece! I’m so happy that you and Dave have such a wonderful relationship. I am also blessed with that kind of man. The “little” things he does everyday are a greater expression of love than any sort of gift – diamonds, trips, whatever. I thank God for him every day. We’ve been going strong for 20 years…and I always tell people we are “oldie-weds.” There’s no other way to express it!
Paula says
We are home with our three girls tonight watching an old muppets movie! I also made a red velvet cake. I did get a dozen roses though. Enjoy your salmon dinner.
Heidi says
My husband is the romantic type…always has been since I met him when we were 14 years old. I will never forget our first Valentine’s day when he rode his bike to school carrying a huge 2X3 foot card in a bright pink envelope. He was a site to see for sure. And then I had to carry that darn card all over school for the entire day.
He does take me on romantic dinners, has planned little weekend getaways and bought me jewelry.
And those are nice. But at the end of the day what makes our 25+ year relationship going strong are all those everyday things like getting up in the middle of the night with a kid who has an earache, he is my go to man for cleaning up vomit (I don’t do vomit well), loading the dishwasher, toting the laundry to the basement for me because I am clumsy fool who has fallen down the stairs more than a few times, running to the grocery store with a handful of coupons because it is the last day of the sale and I am neck deep in a project.
While his love language is romantic and thoughtful…my love language is more practical. When you understand what each person needs in a relationship you have the foundation of something beautiful I think.
It sounds like your husband speaks you love language and in the end that is all that matters!
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing Heidi — your hubby sounds lovely! Hopefully he surprised you with something fun today!
As for me, Dave took charge of both kids pretty much ALL day long to let me can applesauce, deep clean the kitchen, scrub the floors, and catch up on some much needed laundry. I know that might sound like an awful way to “celebrate” Valentine’s Day… but for me, it was perfect 🙂
Karen says
Loved this!!! We are very practical people and I’m happy when my husband does things for me like fix my car, build our house, and buy me a can opener I desperately need (that’s what I wanted, lol). Acts of love everyday means more to me than Hollywood’s version of romance.
JoDi says
There’s nothing more romantic than having a real partner for real life who you know is in it for the long haul. I think anything that makes your partner feel loved and appreciated is a romantic gesture so all the things you listed count in my book! I think most women would trade the occasional flowers for the list of things Dave does each day, and I bet he loves seeing your appreciation expressed on your blog! Enjoy your special dinner on Sunday free of food-flinging! LOL
Katherine says
We are doing the “date night in” after the kids go to bed also. Steak, mushrooms, mashed potatoes, and frozen corn (my husband’s meal of choice and definitely a splurge meal). I’m actually more excited about that than I would be about having to set up child care and actually go somewhere.
Amanda says
Honestly, I can only think of one time my husband bought me flowers – it was after a particularly rough week at work, where I’d put in almost 60hrs, and I walked in after a 14hr day, and he had a vase of flowers sitting in the kitchen when I walked in.
And the most romantic thing my husband ever did for me, wasn’t even for me… my grandmother passed away unexpectedly (she lived in a different state), and my parents happened to be there. My brother and I flew out the next morning in the midst of a huge blizzard. My husband (then fiancee) and my now brother in law went over to my parents house while we were gone and shoveled A LOT of snow, so that when my parents got back, it was one less thing they would have to deal with – and he did it without anyone asking. It seems silly, but it made me realize that he loved and cared not only for me, but for my family as well.
Like Dave, he’s not prince charming, whisking me away on a white horse. He doesn’t shower me with gifts and grand gestures. But, he is a FANTASTIC dad (seriously nothing makes me happier than seeing him wrestling on the floor with our toddler or having our 3mo old sleeping on his chest). He is an active part in their lives, and he is always helping w/ cleaning and other things around the house (he doesn’t cook, but hey, we can’t all be good at everything…lol). Above all else, he’s my partner. He supports me. He makes sure that I have enough time for myself to be able to go to the gym regularly, and get the occasional haircut or grab a dinner or drink w/ a girlfriend, so that I’m able to maintain my sanity. It’s all of the day to day things he does that show me how much he loves me and cares about me, and they’re way more important than flowers and chocolate.
ANna Marie says
for Christmas (among other things) my husband gave me cruise control which he installed in my new (to me) car. We had seen diamond earrings advertised, but I wanted the cruise control- he installed it over a week and said the earrings would have been cheaper and easier – but he still did what I wanted rather than the obvious. Gifts of service is my love language.
Elaine says
I have a husband like yours!
He’s a keeper!
Love is something you do!
Aa. says
I love that there is a day to celebrate love, but I hate how consumerism caught it up.
In my country, it was “adopted” not so many years ago, but it is not such a big thing. And although i think it is nice to celebrate good things (I don’t celebrate it, I prefer spontaneous little things over a year than one fussy thing ocne a year), HAVING to make a gift of a teddy bear or pink hearth or a necklace defeats the purpose of love – which is a feeling. not an object.
So I totally get it when you sau you ejoy more a clean kitchen, since it gives you the feeling of appreciations and support much more than a piece of jewelery. i totally get you!
Charyse Harvey says
Andrea,
Thank you so much for this wonderful post! I’ve been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 26 years and he’s never been what the world calls romantic, but he’s been there everyday showing his love in multiple ways! We raised my brother (9th grade) and my sister (6th grade) for 6 years, starting a year after we were married, not something many young husbands would have been agreeable to. He has supported me in my wish to be a stay at home mom and homeschool our 7 kids for 15+ years(ages 23, 20, 18, 16, 12, 9 and 4.The oldest two are in college now and we have a senior this year! It goes by fast; savor the time you have now!!), even when we’ve had some pretty lean years with his construction business. He’s been there to take on more than his fair share of responsibility when I’ve gone through 2 back surgeries, a neck surgery and the daily struggle of fibro-myalgia for the past 10 years. I have your personality Andrea, (why I love your site so much! ), and it’s been very hard to scale back because of pain and sickness. My Husband has never complained and just steps in to pick up the slack as he knows how much it bothers me. He’s my best friend! It’s the daily, “little” things, the commitment, the trustworthiness, the ” I know you’ll be there no matter what” that makes a strong marriage, not Hollywood’s rendition. LIfe isn’t always easy and fun, and marriage is hard work, but I’ll take my “steady” hubby any day, compared to what Hollywood has to offer. We’ve had lots of joy, laughter and fun memories mixed in and it’s all been so worth it, even if he doesn’t come home with flowers, jewelry and trips for us to go on! (All things I’m truly not really into anyways!)
I work with a lot of young moms in our homeschool group trying to encourage them that even if their husband isn’t as romantic as they’d like, to still be thankful and appreciate who they are. To be thankful for all the little ways they’re blessed by their hubby everyday! And instead of focusing on what he could be doing better in the marriage, to focus on what they can do to build an even stronger marriage.
So thanks again for your common sense approach to life and your encouragement! I’m always encouraged to keep on keeping on and it’s good to be reminded that I’m not weird because I enjoy organizing, cleaning,doing house management things and spending lots of time with my family more than shopping, going out with friends and watching movies! 🙂 Also, that you can love and enjoy your family and keep a nice home at the same time! The two things can coincide! Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your family!
Hannah says
What a wonderful, wonderful post!!!
Katie Richards says
My husband is so much like Dave! His proposal was a complete surprise and wonderful (he proposed at his surprise 21st birthday party that I planned!) and shows me every day with our boys, around the house, and working so incredibly hard that he loves me. We joke that we’re old before our time because we’d rather make dinner at home and watch tv without any kids around than go out for Valentine’s Day but I love that I’ve found someone who is an “extroverted introvert” like I am.
And yes, I would totally help peel apples! I live very close to Dave’s school so I could be over in a jiffy 😉
Andrea says
Thanks Katie — I just got your comment now and the apples are actually already ALL cut up!! My grandma came over to help!
Also, I can totally relate to your “extroverted introvert” comment. I tend to be more introverted unless it’s the right situation — then I’m a total extrovert!
Roxanne says
Glad to see some other “boring” relationships out there! You’re so right, love and commitment is best demonstrated on a daily basis, not just once a year. So, we don’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day either. We DO, however, celebrate the Day-After-Valentine’s-Day when all the candy goes on sale 🙂
Paulette Smith says
Andrea, Dave is a total keeper. A true partner in every sense of the word. Flowers die too quickly, and I’m not a jewelry person, so the way Dave showers his love on his family by supporting and serving them is AMAZING to me. My husband is the same way. Courteous, helping me out…in a thousand ways every day. Happy for you two. Who wants the fake life of Hollywood? Not me!!
Andrea says
Amen Paulette — a definite keeper for sure!
cathy says
You are such a blessing to so many of us. We needed to hear this and realize how blessed we are with the simple things of everyday living that we share with our husbands. Thank you for being so down to earth.
Katie says
This is just pure AWESOME!
April says
Andrea, I think you have so much wisdom. As someone who has never experienced the kind of relationship you have with Dave, I can’t even imagine what it must be like to have such a loving person to share your life with. Your post was an awesome tribute to him.
Kellie says
I am so hormonal from this pregnancy, that I read this with loads of tissues! Such wisdom! You hit it right on the nail, Andrea! The other day I swooned watching my husband clean up my pile of vomit as I struggled to the bathroom. THAT is love and I’ll take it over a spa day any day! Happy V-Day Dekker family! Enjoy that applesauce!
Andrea says
Awwww. thanks Kellie 🙂 And congrats on the upcoming baby!
Cleaning up vomit is honestly one thing I don’t think Dave could do that easily for me. he is quite “squeamish” about that sort of thing! Thankfully we’ve never had to test it out yet!
JoAnn C. says
Wow! You two are lovely. Happy weekend, Andrea.
susie says
That us too! We were watching out our window once and the neighbors were fighting, then kissing like in the movies! I had to chuckle and tell my husband, ” I would prefer the monotone then the extreme highs and lows!” They are divorced now.. big surprise! We have never fought- we get grumpy then walk away until everything is back to even kill!
Janice says
Sounds like the relationship my husband and I have and we’ve been married for 45+ years. He has such a servant’s heart. I am so glad we went together to pick out my wedding rings back in 1969 because that way I got just what I wanted (not over budget either). Occasionally he will bring me some wild flowers he happens to find when he has been out in our fields and that means more to me than a dozen roses anytime. I learned a long time ago that I should not expect to receive gifts from him on Valentine’s Day, Christmas, our anniversary, or my birthday. HOWEVER, just like your Dave, he will tell me to go buy something that he knows I really want. I am just fine with that!
Jane says
Love this post! I had a “younger” co-worker ask me what I required of my husband for Valentine’s Day. It really surprised me that anyone would require something from their spouse for Valentine’s Day!
My husband and I also enjoy the day to day love expressions and forego any over the top expensive gestures. We will also be home tomorrow in this arctic weather just doing the normal weekend work – together! Have fun making applesauce, I’m sure your kitchen will be toasty warm and smell delicious!!
Andrea says
yes Jane — I’ve had similar conversations with people. I actually know a couple people who will say stuff like “my husband spend $100 on _____ for his car, so he’s required to spend at least $100 on me for ______ holiday”
My thoughts are: who really cares if we’re spending the same amount of money on each other — aren’t we adults 🙂
Janet says
Would LOVE to see a picture of your wedding band!
Also, maybe any blog posts for planning a practical wedding ? 🙂
Andrea says
Janet, you know what? I ALMOST used a picture of my wedding ring/band for the first photo of this post — but then I changed it because I thought it seemed like I was ‘showing off’.
As far as a wedding planning post, I’m not sure I have that in the works any time soon — maybe for our anniversary post this summer 🙂
sheila says
What a sweet post. I’m with you Ken is not romantic either in the hollywood sense, but sometimes when I watch those lovey dovey movies it makes me uncomfortable. Not sure if I could handle that much heat in the kitchen or the bedroom! LOL I also think social media puts too much pressure on people. When others are going on about this and that, it makes me say hey why aren’t great things like that happening in my life, but they really are they are just different great things!
Katie says
Love this – you always seem to make an awesome team. Happy Valentine’s 🙂
Kim says
Your kind of romance is my kind of romance. 🙂 I’m a very practical person, so I don’t want jewelry or knick knacks or perfume. (I do love chocolate, though!) I want something that makes my life easier and that I will actually use. Several years ago, my husband hung a garden tool holder on the garage wall and I told him that was better than any jewelry he could ever buy me. I would much rather have small helpful acts of kindness throughout the year than a big to-do once or twice a year. That said, I have told both my sons that they need to pay attention to what says love to their spouse or significant other and then do that. One son is married and the other is still single, but I continue to encourage my married son to think about his wife and what speaks love to her. If she’s happy, then he’s happy, then my grandbabies are happy, and then I’m happy. 🙂
Brenda says
That’s very good advice for your boys. I need to remember that to tell my 5 boys as they get to be that age. 🙂
The original post is great! It describes the relationship I have with my husband very well. 🙂 We’re coming up on 20 years and we’re both happy so it must be working.
Rebecca says
Yes!! The daily “we can do this together” is so much more important to me than being romantic one day a year! I always tell my hubbie that he doesn’t have to do anything for me for Valentine’s Day other than just be with me. (Not always possible in this military life!) I love my day to day life and don’t need roses to love it more. He does surprise me occasionally with dates he has planned, but we both love cuddling by the fire after kids have gone to bed.
Anyway, thanks for writing this!
Laurel says
You have described my husband perfectly. And since you and I are very similar as far as I can tell, it works for us, too. 33 years of marriage with four kids to show for it! I think different personality types definitely need different things (obviously). Many would think we are dullards. Others would love to have the predictability of a faithful, steady, (aka “boring”) relationship compared to the “excitement” they have (not sure if their spouse is where he/she says they are for example). My husband just mentioned this morning when I told him I really was not doing anything “special” for Valentine’s Day that he thought probably what I would like most for Valentine’s Day would be a good basement clean out! LOL Most likely the truth.
Jane says
While romance can be fun, there is so much more to marriage than that. The day-to-day commitment and hard work is so important. Love is when your spouse cleans the bathrooms….or, for that matter, does every one of your chores when I have yet to do every one of his…(he claims I broke the snowblower…) In 15 years of marriage, we managed one night away – in Akron for a concert. We were gone less than 24 hours and seeing my mother-in-law upon return convinced me that we wouldn’t be doing that again for a long time. Now, in 25 years, we have managed a weekend away to go to my son’s recital. We joke that “we’ll always have Akron…” But the Friday nights when we got take out and watched a video when the kids were young…..to our occasional dinners out now are times we cherish. Enjoy your special dinner! And…you made a great choice in your spouse (as he did)!
Dawn says
It sounds like Dave has the gift of service!! That is its own blessing and form of romance!!
Andrea says
well yes… but actually MY love language is “acts of service” and he knows that. So mostly, I think he has just learned how to serve me best — by cleaning and caring for kids. What a guy, huh?!
Dawn says
That’s what I find so romantic…that he knows you so well and strives to make you feel loved!! True romance!!
Loved your engagement story too!! You’ve got a great guy!!
(I’ve been married to my sweetheart for over 30 yrs and he knows me well too!!)
Andrea says
Thanks Dawn. The engagement story WAS really fun (I’m so glad I finally shared it on the blog!)
Congrats to your 30 years — WOW!
Jen says
I LOVE this! And, for the record, I think A LOT of the lovey-dovey mushy stuff posted on Facebook, IG, Twitter, etc. is people trying to convince themselves their relationship is amazing. In my opinion, if you are secure in your relationship, there’s no need to go over the top with social media. My husband is pretty much like Dave-solid as a rock, steady, not given to public displays of romance. And for 26 years I have NEVER doubted his love and affection for me. And THAT I don’t need to display on FB or anywhere else. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
P.S. The past few days I’ve been having trouble loading/commenting on your site and with the “plug ins”. Anyone else notice that or is it just me? I haven’t had trouble on other sites. Maybe it’s just your heavy internet traffic, which is a GOOD thing! 🙂
Andrea says
Thanks Jen!
As for your commenting trouble, were you still having trouble today? Yesterday, we noticed there was some “outside activity” on my server which was making things go slower than normal — so that could have been the issue the past few days, but that should have been resolved today.
Jen says
Hi Andrea! Thanks for checking. I was still having a bit of trouble this morning but now it seems to be working fine! Thanks! Have a great weekend.
Lindsey @ Everyday Originals says
This, my friend, is true love and what a healthy marriage is all about! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Siobhan says
Love this post! Enjoy the weekend 🙂
Bonnie says
Sounds like you and Dave have an awesome relationship!!!
Ivy Miller says
I love this ! I do admitt I would some mushy romance very now and then but Marshall can always make me laugh no matter what . Plus there isnt anything sexier than a man cleaning !
Heather says
Thank you so much for this post! My husband is very similar – very down to earth, not ‘romantic’ in the Hollywood sense that we see in the media frequently, but he works hard for our family and does a lot of little things just to make my life easier (but, he does bring home flowers rarely – only now he gives them to our son to give to me!) Thank you for being so forthright about your relationship and reminding some of us that you can have a healthy marriage without that typically ‘romantic’ image. Hope you enjoy your special adults only dinner – we’ll be doing the same Saturday evening during a blizzard!
shelly says
Love it! I am married to Dave’s twin lol. I wouldn’t have it any other way but after 26 years of marriage and 2 teens left at home we are doing more romantic things now. Our boys like to sleep in on Saturdays so we get up early and go out for a breakfast date occasionally. My husband flies all the time and surprised me with a Brighton charm bracelet and now surprises me charms occasionally. (The store is in the airport.) All of this never happened when they were little. I have never been into flowers and jewelry I would rather have a real rose bush or something for the house but I must say it is nice when he surprises me every so often now.
Chris says
Oh my. This is so great. My husband does write me wonderful cards on holidays but he definitely doesn’t do a lot of these things either. But I appreciate him so much. He ALWAYS treats everyone with kindness. He is in retail and he has ALWAYS been able to calm a customer down that is irritated. It is great to live with that kind of person. It is good for us to look at the good in our husbands instead of be disappointed because they aren’t like some kind of preconceived notion that someone else has come up with.