What happens when your daily roles and your purpose in life rub up against each other a little more than you’d like? Well, you take the summer off to think, and then write a novel of a blog post documenting your journey!
Within two weeks of my 21st birthday, I happily assumed the roles of wife and homeowner — a dream come true for the girl who grew up watching Martha Stewart instead of MTV and preferred Country Home magazine over Seventeen.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve fantasized about living a simple life at home — fixing up an old farmhouse, feeding my family hot breakfasts every morning, and welcoming the kids home after school with a plate of freshly-baked cookies.
I have vivid memories of conversations with a childhood friend about the type of farmhouse I’d have someday; about the 5 children who would fill that farmhouse (3 boys, 2 girls); about all the food I would cook and bake, and the holiday parties I would host.
Family
Farmhouse
Food
As far back as I can remember, my dream life was centered around a family, a farmhouse, and a whole lot of food.
A dream unfolding…
Almost exactly 10 years ago, a big part of our dream came true when we purchased our fixer-upper farmhouse (December 2010) AND found out we were pregnant with our first child (February 2011).
I had just started this blog a few months prior to buying our farmhouse (July 2010) and I chopped off my long curly hair in favor of a pixie-cut one week before taking the picture below.
I was 25 and starting a new chapter in life.
A new career, a new appearance, a new home, and a soon-to-be new family!
As the days turned into months and eventually years, I said farewell to my twenties and happily embraced the 30-something woman staring at me in the mirror.
These days I see a few wrinkles, an even shorter haircut, and a decade of hard work and faithfulness that resulted in a family, a farmhouse, and so much food!
Some highlights from the last 10 years…
- We completely renovated our farmhouse and the 1-acre property while paying off our mortgage in 7 years.
- I learned how to cook and bake from scratch, and have prepared thousands of meals for family and friends.
- I had 4 children in just over 5 years, potty trained each one, and eventually got them to sleep through the night. #momwin
- I wrote 2,500 blog posts — sharing my passion for simple living with more than 17 million women across the globe.
All while diligently working, day after day, little by little, to simplify my home and life, pursue my passions, and steward our resources.
As a result, our days are fulfilling… not just “full”.
Our lifestyle is simple, yet intentional.
We are laser-focused on our values and we allocate our resources accordingly.
We live at a slower pace than most of our peers, which isn’t always easy (but it’s SO worth it).
Ironically, as I’ve become more passionate about sharing the benefits of simple living online, the balance and intentionality of my life have felt “off”.
I love what I do here online so much… and there’s always more I want to do.
More ideas, more emails, more posts, more social media, more video, more pictures, more projects… more distractions that take me away from other important parts of my life.
Some might say this is the nature of the online world — it’s one of the side effects of running my own business.
And they’re right.
But… one of the perks of running my own business is that I call the shots.
I make the rules.
And I can be pretty bossy when I want to be! 😉
I spent the last 3 months mostly away from the blog and social media.
Many people in my online circles told me it was a risky move… and it was.
But as it turns out, it was also absolutely amazing, refreshing, and just what I needed.
I had a chance to slow down, to think more deeply, and to recount the many blessings that make up my simple, normal, everyday, real life.
Do you know what I realized?
I realized that I’m literally living my dream life. I got the farmhouse, the food, and the family… well, minus that fictitious 3rd son who might not fit into the picture anymore!
I realized that I feel completely content and fulfilled in my role as a wife, mother, and home-manager — I could do this every day for a very long time without growing weary of everything required of me.
I realized that I don’t need more than this — not a successful business, an amazing home renovation, or another to-do crossed off my list. I’m truly happy to be alive and enjoy life at home with my family.
I realized that I still sort of want more than this. Is that selfish? I don’t know.
Yes, my roles as wife, mother, and home manager are satisfying and fulfilling for me — they are what I’ve always dreamed of. But what if my purpose falls beyond that scope?
Have you ever felt this way?
I realized that I was working too much… which is hard for me to admit, but a necessary truth. I was missing things I didn’t want to miss and skipping things I didn’t really want to skip because, while I love my family, my home, and my life, I also really love what I do here online.
I needed to find a better balance.
One of the benefits I hoped to gain from my summer away from the online world was more clarity, more certainty, more conviction that I’m doing the “right thing” (or, on the flipside, that it’s time to pivot).
Unfortunately, I didn’t get it.
In many ways, I feel more cofused now than I did before my break.
Even still, I’ve decided it’s time to share a few thoughts from my time away from the online world.
Without further adieu… welcome to the inside of my summer vacation brain.
Thought #1: Our purpose is more than just our roles and responsibilities.
Each day, I’m amazed by how meaningful and fulfilling it is to be a stay-at-home mom. I always knew I loved being home, but I’ve surprised myself with how much I enjoy this particular ROLE.
That said, I feel a consistent tug… almost a calling of sorts, to help other women experience the life-changing benefits of pursuing a simpler home and life.
I believe that is my PURPOSE (at least for this stage of my life).
I’m certain our roles and purpose change over time — but I feel it’s important (at least for myself) not to confuse our all-consuming yet very fulfilling roles as wives, mothers, and home-managers with our purpose (whatever that might be).
Just so you know… I’m still working on this!
Thought #2: Life is more fun when you do what you love.
I’ve had my share of boring, mind-numbing, horrible jobs over the course of my life… and the fact that I can truly say I do what I LOVE is not something I take for granted.
I love writing. I write every day, only pressing “publish” once in a while. It’s a cathartic outlet — a way for me to process my many, many thoughts without driving Dave bonkers. 🥰
I love pursuing a simpler life and sharing my journey in hopes of encouraging others to realize their ideal version of a simpler life.
I love cooking, baking, painting, decluttering, and rearranging furniture 872 times until I find the way that works the best for our family.
I’m honored to make a living doing what I love — something that doesn’t really even feel like a job.
AND…
I love being a wife, and a mom, and a short-order chef, and a chauffeur, and the room parent for the kids’ classes, and a volunteer at church, and the host of the party, and a Jill-of-all-trades, and the manager of our home…
our farmhouse.
The one we worked to transform for almost a decade… the one I’ve dreamed of filling with family and food for as long as I can remember.
If you aren’t doing something you love, take a step back and reevaluate whether you really must continue doing it. In some cases, your answer will be “yes” and that’s OK. But in many situations, there may be other options you haven’t considered yet.
My advice — it’s worth considering those options!
Thought #3: Our purpose should be pursued in a way that is life-giving and fulfilling for ourselves and our loved ones.
I can not, I WILL NOT, let my family or my home take a back seat to my business… it’s just not an option for me.
Thankfully, I think it is often possible to pursue our passions and purpose while fulfilling our roles and responsibilities… but it’s a tricky process and there’s a fine line that is oh-so-easy to slip past if we’re not careful.
I won’t let myself become the woman who gushes about her simple home life while secretly living in a cluttered mess, with a chaotic schedule, and grumpily handing out fast food to her family each night.
This is certainly not how my life has ever been, but I’ve seen these scenarios play out far too often among fellow online influencers.
It’s a slippery slope and I found myself just a bit closer to the edge than I wanted to be.
I “walk the walk” of the simple life I share online — I always have, and hopefully always will.
I say this with confidence, knowing that if you were a fly on the crooked old walls in our home, you would agree.
If you feel a little uneasy with the path your life/career/family is headed down, let this be your wake-up call to pivot.
It’s not too late!
Thought #4: It’s frustrating when we don’t have the answers.
I’m a planner by nature — it’s in my blood! Some of you can relate.
So… it’s beyond frustrating to feel like I’m in the right place, doing the right thing, but possibly not in the right way… with no clear-cut plan to “fix it”.
I keep telling myself that I just need to tweak a few things… but so far, I haven’t figured out what to tweak to allow all the puzzle pieces to fit.
I’m not one to share my struggles before I have the solution as I never want to be the person who aires her dirty laundry hoping for a little sympathy.
I much prefer to share after I have the “happy ending”…
- after I overcame depression…
- after I lost 60 pounds…
- after I got the 3-year-old to finally sleep through the night…
- after I developed my amazing whole grain bread recipe…
- after I finished the home renovations…
- after I paid off the mortgage…
- after I learned the lesson.
Not during the process. Not while I’m still struggling, learning, and growing.
I share when I can compile my thoughts and my “lesson” into a nice, neat, organized, well-thought-out package.
But that’s not always possible (at least not in my case today).
I have no lesson, no “plan”, no moral of the story, no 5-step process to help you improve your life, no detailed recipe promising a delicious meal, no pretty package… just the real-life thoughts and struggles I’m in the midst of navigating right this very minute.
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”
Proverbs 16:9
Thought #5: Pursuing your purpose is worthy of a long, hard fight.
If you’ve been reading here today with a touch of anxiety, wondering if this is my blogging farewell, let me assure you it’s NOT.
I don’t have all the answers, my puzzle is still missing a few key pieces, and I haven’t found my yellow brick road just yet. But I’m confident that if this is really what I’m supposed to do with my life, I will make it to the land of Oz… eventually.
I’ve been fighting for balance between pursuing my purpose and fulfilling my roles for almost a year now — some of you saw it more clearly than others and you reached out with encouragement.
Thank you 🥰
The last 10 months have been one experiment after another — searching for a “solution” to the fact that I’m human and simply can’t do 187 things really really well every single day.
It hasn’t been easy.
There were so many days when I wanted to toss my purpose to the curb and relish in my roles as the best breakfast cooker ever, the savviest thrift-shopper extraordinaire, and the cuddliest book buddy.
I’m not cut out for the career world… I don’t want this “stress”!
I’m just a mom — let me just be a mom!
The online world doesn’t need one more simple living blog anyway!
But… I’m a fighter and a doer, and I will continue to fight for a way to pursue the purpose I feel called to without sacrificing my ability to fulfill the roles I feel so passionate about.
I have a few ideas up my sleeve… stay tuned. 😉
Thought #6: Change is hard… even good change.
The past decade has seen more change than any other period in my life… and change is hard for me.
- I learned how to cook, bake, can, freeze, grow, and preserve
- I learned how to give birth and parent multiple infants, toddlers, and children
- I learned how to tackle so many house and yard projects
- I learned how to start, run, and manage a business
- I learned how to build a blog and grow my social media accounts
- I learned how to plan… and also how to step out in faith, even when I don’t have a plan
I learned that even when I think I have something figured out, it changes again because we have another child, enter into a new stage of life, start another project, or the “rules” of blogging and social media change… again!
No matter how often I deal with change, it still takes me a while to find my groove, and it’s still really hard to be “stuck” in the middle without an end in sight.
Can you relate?
When my life changes faster than I like, my solution is always to simplify everything else.
I suppose that’s why my time away from the blog was so necessary. I needed more space to process the changes within my business and the online world, and I couldn’t do that while still working on my business each day.
If you’re in the middle of change (good or not so good) I strongly encourage you to take a step back in a few other areas of your life. Quit the membership, resign from the committee, close your Facebook account, order a pizza for dinner, delete the Apps, say “no”.
Not forever, but for now.
Thought #7: Support is crucial.
Dave knew I needed time and space to mentally process everything this summer — and while I think we were both surprised how much time I needed, he never voiced his frustrations.
He listened to my frustrations, he assured me I’d figure it out eventually, and then he granted me his silent, non-judgemental “permission” to do nothing — to sleep in, to sit and read a book all afternoon, to make a frozen pizza for dinner, to go for a walk by myself.
That man is a true gift.
Similarly, the select few blogging friends I shared my struggles with were a huge source of support for me — especially when the “experts” told me I was doing everything wrong.
And your kind and encouraging emails were a welcome “distraction” throughout the summer. I read every word and responded as often as I could.
If you’re in the middle of a big life change, I encourage you to find that support — even if you need to pay for it in the form of counseling, coaching, or mentorship.
You don’t need to tell the world, you don’t need to air your dirty laundry on every social media outlet, you just need one or two trusted sources who will stick with you no matter what.
So… what now?
Wow — you’re still reading!
The short answer is, “I don’t know exactly.” Boy, do I hate to admit that.
The longer answer is…
- You can expect a new blog post (and email) every Tuesday morning.
- I will often send another email on Thursday or Friday morning — not necessarily in conjunction with a blog post, but always worth opening! (Join my email community here).
- I will not be very social on social media — at least not for a while.
- I’m considering a private Facebook group instead of more public social media. I think it could be an amazingly fun way to connect with those interested in pursuing a simpler home and life without haters or spammers or creepers ruining our fun (not that I’ve had any experience with that.)
- I want to streamline and simplify the ads on my blog — I have some ideas to do this without losing all my income. All in due time, of course!
As for my personal life… there’s a lot of good happening right now!
- I’m the room parent for 2 of the kid’s classes this year
- I have a big yard project I want to tackle yet this fall
- I started a new program to heal my Diastasis Recti (I’ll keep you updated if it works or not)
- I’m in a new Bible Study group (studying 2 Corinthians)
- I’m still fairly involved in different programs at church
- I’m working my way through a pile of new recipes
- I’m decluttering like crazy — our basement is totally empty outside of the freezer, one shelf of canning supplies, and a few cans of paint.
- I started jogging (I need to do something with my early morning hours now that I’m not online as much)
- I have a stack of library books calling my name
- I’m baking a puppy cake for a certain almost-3-year-old later this week!
In Summary:
If you take nothing else away from this very long post, please know this:
- I love this online space and hope to continue showing up here for many years to come.
- I love my life, my family, and our home more.
- The reason I’m so intent on finding a better balance between the two is because of YOU!
It has been a joy and a privilege to get to know many of you on a more personal level over the past 10 years. It’s thrilling to hear when one of my recipes or ideas or tips sparked a positive change in your life. And I’m honored that so many of you have stuck around all these years!
I’m confident that if this is really where I need to be at this point in my life, the “right” balance between my purpose and my roles will be made clear.
And then… I can unleash the mountain of ideas I have for my blog and business!
Those of you in my email community will be the first to know whenever I move forward, pivot, or find that missing puzzle piece (I’m not trying to be exclusive or sneaky, I’m just not sure I want to share every detail publicly on the blog.)
Until then, you can find me back where it all began; pursuing a simpler, more fulfilling life at home…
Making food for my family in our farmhouse!
Please know I am not anxious or nervous or stressed regarding the future of my business. Yes, I’d like answers, but in the meantime, I’m content to live my life and I have plenty to keep me “busy” over here!
That said… if you feel generous, I covet your thoughts, prayers, and support regarding more clarity and direction as I move forward.
Also, just for fun, I’d be honored if you shared a favorite recipe, tip, post, or idea from my website — one that has helped you simplify some aspect of your roles as wife, mother, grandmother, or home manager. 🥰
Cheers to finding fulfillment in our roles while pursuing our purpose!
Susie says
Your blog is my favorite one that I read. You are real and down-to-earth. I am married, no children, and retired, but I love everything that you share. Take all the time that you need to decide what your future holds. I love the idea of a private FB group. Your 10 minute lasagna recipe is a favorite at our house (husband cooking and me eating!). Keep being you and sharing when you wish to do so. May God give you the insight into which direction He wants you to go.
Andrea says
Thanks so much, Susie!
Glad your hubby can handle a little cooking too (you know the recipes must be simple then!)
I appreciate your long-time readership and your words of encouragement.
Kelly says
Thank you for sharing your thought process here and being vulnerable about not having all the answers now! I don’t think I have ever commented, but your blog is an absolute favorite. I randomly found your blog while searching tips for organizing my closet probably 8 years ago!
Since then, I went from single to married with 4 young kids/babies, and I can’t possibly share all of the tips (digital photo organization, closet organization, even how to strategize when I empty my dishwasher!! Just to name a few..) I’ve learned and implemented because of you!
It is so clear how authentic you are and that you “walk the walk” of simple living! Thank you for sharing all that you do- you help more than you know!
Andrea says
wow — you’ve had quite the decade too! it’s it crazy to think how drastically different our lives were just a few short years ago!
Thanks for your loyal readership all these years. I really appreciate it.
Kathy says
I’ve been reading your posts/blog for about 7 years. Your kids are just about the same ages as my 3 grandkids that live 2500 miles away, so I love to get gift and new product ideas from you. I often refer to you as ‘my friend Andrea Dekker,’ the friend I just haven’t met yet.
I love your ‘My Favorite Things’ and have tried many recipes over the years. The baked ham/cheese sandwiches are always a hit. I just used you tomato soup recipe, using the abundant tomatoes from our garden.
You are wise beyond your years. Be encouraged that you are a very helpful resource for those fortunate to read your blog. Praying for you now, that God will give you wisdom as you navigate this season of your life. Blessings to you and your family!
Andrea says
Thank you, Kathy! The Favorite Things posts are wildly popular so I promise to keep those around for a long time!
In the meantime, have you ever considered moving closer to your grandkids?? Dave’s parents moved to MI from Washington State 10 years ago and are now super close to 6 of their 9 grandkids (and a half-day drive to the other 3)! Might be worth it 🙂
Colleen Luck says
Your post was amazing, and yes, I read every word. I’m on the other end of the spectrum, a 67 year old retired teacher, grandmother to 7 adorable grandchildren, and now full time finder of a new life. I wish I had had your suggestions while I was raising my own 3 children, but I had good friends, my church and the desire to be the best mom I could be no matter what the circumstances. I’m now recovering from life threatening double pneumonia which has made life come to a grinding halt. I have been sick since the end of May and emotionally and physically, it has been one of the toughest times in my life. The isolation, frustration and depression has been crushing. My mind is willing, but my body isn’t! I’m a “goer” with 4 or 5 projects and activities going at the same time, and now that is impossible. My doctor says I have another 4-5 months to regain most of my strength but I am determined to find a “new normal” for me. Some days I spend most of my time crocheting hats to be donated to a homeless shelter, because I have very little strength at all. Many times I have just wanted to give up. It’s a hard mindset to change! You never know what life has in store but you can always learn something from the hard times. Right now I’m working on patience, acceptance and A LOT of change in my daily routine. I hate change!! I’m now using what we have in our well stocked freezer, since I am unable to go to the store weekly. Your suggestion to use what you have on hand has been golden for me. Thank you! Your honesty is refreshing and I look forward to your posts. I read them before I read anything else! God bless you in your efforts because you have blessed my life! …and thanks for reading my long post!
Andrea says
Oh wow — I’m glad you are on the “upswing” but it sounds like you still have a long road ahead. Sorry to hear about all this.
Don’t give up! In the scheme of life, 4-5 months is not that long. It will be worth it to lay low and recover well in hopes of a stronger body for you in the coming years.
Thanks so much for your long time readership and support. I really appreciate it!
Bonnie says
Andrea,
Thank you for opening up in your post ( yes, I read every word). No better comment to you/about you than “You Rock!” Keep up things at your comfort level. Everyone will benefit from it.
Kindly,
Bonnie
Andrea says
Aw, thanks Bonnie 🙂
Julie C says
Beautiful message! It is so very hard to open up and be vulnerable what that is what I, personally, love about you and your ‘business’….you are real and genuine. Praying for you and your family while you navigate what is next. Enjoy these days, as they say, these are the best days of your life!
Andrea says
Thank you Julie,
“Genuine” — that’s a fantastic compliment — I appreciate it so much!
Cheven says
This is just what I needed today, Andrea! Thank you! Much love and prayers! I like the idea of a private group.
Amy says
Thank you for sharing! I’m just starting a business and making family a priority is number one but so hard to balance! I’ve loved how you make organization so easy! I’ve used your 50 hangers in my closet as my limit for clothes for a long time and your menu planning got me to finally start planning my menu each week and now I just can’t not plan a menu! I’m also a planner by nature, so your tips and tricks are always helpful! Thank you!
Andrea says
that’s awesome to hear you’re starting a business. I honestly don’t know if I could have STARTED my business when my kids were little, but I know SO many moms who do it successfully. You’ll get there!
As for the 50 hangers — I love that little trick. Of course, Dave and I are down to less than 50 hangers each now, since we share such a tiny close — but the rule is still “no more clothes when we run out of hangers”!
Lana says
Andrea,
Thank you for your heartfelt post. I found it hitting me on a personal level, perhaps there are things I need to be “pivoting” in my own life.
I like your idea of a private Facebook group. I’m happy you are not leaving the blogging world. It really feels like we (your readers) know your family. I personally love that you share your life with us. I remember first reading your blog when Nora was an infant, and have been a reader since!
My favorite recipe of yours is Stromboli! It is so good, easy and you can do so many variations. I’ve been making it since you first shared it on the blog in 2011.
I have faith that you’ll find the missing puzzle piece. 🙂
https://andreadekker.com/stromboli/
Andrea says
Thanks, Lana.
Yes, I’m a big fan of “pivoting” when something feels “off” or when it feels like more of a struggle than it should be.
Glad you enjoy the Stromboli — we had that over the weekend.
Thanks for your support, encouragement, and long-time readership.
Cait says
Hi, Andrea. I’m a relatively new reader, been following you since around when Clara was born. I’m at a similar point in life – 34 years old, married, working mom with 2 young kids (daughter is almost 5 and son is 7 months). My biggest take-away from reading your writing is your contentment. That’s something I continually pray about for myself. I struggle with balancing my desire to have a meaningful career, but also making time for all the mom/wife tasks I WANT to do every day. I’m a planner and list-maker and those both help greatly!
I’ll be praying for your next steps, whatever those may be. Good luck! 🙂
Andrea says
Thank you Cait, it’s always a struggle to balance needs with wants — business with pleasure — must-dos with want-to-dos. There’s no one “right way” and even if we find the “best way” for us for now, it’s going to change eventually.
Just keep doing your best, that has to be good enough for now.
Jennifer says
I have been following your blog for 7-8 years and love it! I also enjoy the emails now as well! I am a mother, wife, and work outside the home and struggle often with balance between work and home. It was amazing this Spring and early Summer when I was able to be an at home mom since my work was closed. I have struggled since being back at work. I totally understand this and I am also looking for clarity. Thank-you for all that you do!
Andrea says
Thanks Jennifer — I’m so happy you enjoyed being home during COVID! (there needs to be some sort of silver lining, right!)
Prayers for you as you look for clarity too. Maybe we’ll both find it at the same time!
Jessica says
Oh boy! I’m not sure I could share a “favorite” anything of yours as there are too many to list. Just know that anytime a thought goes through my head about how to simplify something in my life or if I need encouragement or ideas on being a stay at home mom, your blog is the first place I go!
I’m a long-time reader- not so much an interactor- but I love reading your blog/emails. So much that when I took a much-needed 7 month break from Facebook, I joined Instagram SOLELY to keep up with you the little bit you posted on there was better than nothing at all!
I’m currently trying to adjust to being a stay at home mom to our 2 young children. All I’ve ever known is being a “work horse” my whole life so it’s quite an adjustment!
I also sympathize with how frustrating it is to “not know” or “have a plan”- I struggle immensely with that! I’m learning to try to just take each day as it comes and be okay with “not knowing” (for awhile anyway )
Good luck- excited to see what your future holds.
Andrea says
oh no — and now I’m leaving Instagram too (at least for now)
I can relate to your “work horse” mentality — that’s totally me too. I could work, work, work work, all day long and be ready to do it all over again the next day!
Thanks for your encouraging words today (and for your long-time readership)
Jessica says
It’s okay.. I get your emails
Cara Bowen says
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us. I appreciate the honesty! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for the past 10 years or so. I have a 3 and 5 year old, so I feel like I can relate to a lot of your posts. One thing that I’ve learned from you is to make my own foaming hand soap. It saves me so much money and also saves the environment. 🙂
Do you still have your recipe box on your site?
Andrea says
foaming hand soap is the BEST for little kiddos — glad you are enjoying it! Thanks for your long-time readership 🙂
Jessy says
Even though we are decades apart in age and stage, so many of your posts have resonated with me. I’ve enjoyed all kinds of tips, your recipes (black beans and roasted vegetables is on repeat here) and the latest life-changing idea…the weekly to do list! Thank you for sharing your wisdom over the years.
Andrea says
yay — I’m thrilled the weekly to-do list has been helpful for you. Such a simple concept but it really can make a big difference for us list-lovers!
Rebecca says
Andrea,
“Revealing the painting before it is finished” is always hard because the rough draft is never what you want the world to see. But sometimes showing the process is far more beautiful and helpful. We love to hear that the answers don’t always come easy—that we are not alone—that everyone grapples with uncertainty before finding our way. Thank you—this was beautiful, honest and very much appreciated!
My favorite recipe (that I have made again and again) is Cheesy Mashed Potato Soup. https://andreadekker.com/cheesy-mashed-potato-soup/
Andrea says
oh mashed potato soup — such an easy but tasty recipe. I “created” that recipe after we had about 15 pounds of leftover mashed potatoes after a Thanksgiving party — yikes!
Thanks for the encouragement about “revealing the painting before it’s finished”… such wise words!
Heidi says
Thanks for sharing your #4. I personally am more drawn to reading blogs or articles where the writers are real and honest about their struggles. No one wants to read about anyone’s perfect life when seeking advice on the internet because that seems unattainable. Through my recent struggles I’ve learned that if we are struggling it doesn’t mean we are failing it just means we are alive!
I enjoy reading your blog and I enjoy your recipes. They are always foods my whole family will enjoy eating. Your ingredients in your recipes are ones I usually have on hand and I know the finished product will turn out yummy for all!
Andrea says
“I’ve learned that if we are struggling it doesn’t mean we are failing it just means we are alive!”
Yes, so well said! Thanks for sharing.
Sheila Montgomery says
You are such an inspiration to me, even though we are at different “passages” in life. I am almost 64, work a full time clerical job, divorced, and help my widowed Mom with rental property. You are truly gifted in the art of organization & managing a home. Thank you for sharing all the things that help you manage. I look forward to your “favorite things” posts! You are amazing! Dear Lord, please wrap your arms around Andrea, give her clarity & peace about her life. I ask that you bless her family as they grow and change. I thank you for the strong marriage that she has. I thank you that I found such a positive & helpful blog to learn from & enjoy. Amen!
Martha says
I am one of your “older” readers, definitely old enough to be your mom plus a few years!! I read your blog with enthusiasm sometimes while drinking my morning coffee and eating a piece of leftover pie and feeling really guilty when you write about trying to eat more healthy. I pass your posts along very regularly to my nieces and friends who have little ones close to your kids ages. If only I had some of your advice when I was raising my kids who have in fact turned out
A OK as adults. Please take time with your family. That is something I wish I had done better as a young mom. The time you are spending with family and memories you are making will be the greatest joy you have as you look back over your life!! Take care and have a great day!!
Andrea says
pie for breakfast — I love it 🙂
Thanks for your encouragement and your long-time readership. I appreciate it so much, Martha!
Julie says
My big takeaway from you over the years has been that there is not one right way to do things- schedule, finances, organization, cooking methods, etc- but you share what works best for you and your family at this particular season. And these things can evolve as life changes. It seems to me you are just applying this concept to your life on a grander scale now. I will pray for you and your sweet family. I wish you all the best in this process, since it may take time and is not so easily checked off your to-do list.
Andrea says
yes! never one right way. Sometimes I feel like a hypocrite because I change the way I do certain routines or how I cook, etc. but I’m always striving for the “best way for me for now” and that is always changing. And yes, that’s essentially what I’m doing right now — thanks for making me see that more clearly!
Sonia G says
I have said this many times over the past five or so years: your blog is my absolute favorite thing to read, whenever you have a post or an email out. I love reading about how you cook (I love, love, love your recipes, and while I have a bread maker, you inspired me to start baking my own bread!), the homemaking advice is super-helpful for when I am in an utter panic, and I have adored getting to know your family through your posts. I cheer a long with everyone else when you have crossed off things from your to-do list, whether it’s a house renovation or a kid-related milestone!
This post was really helpful. This was a long time coming for me as well, but I realized that I now have what I really wanted all of my life: husband, family, home; and that I am content being home with my young children and taking care of the house. Thank you for making me realize that at this moment, I don’t need to be working outside of my home to have a purpose. For someone who graduated from a Seven Sisters College, this was a hard-fought epiphany to come to, and your blog and email posts have seriously helped me with that, and I cannot thank you enough.
Andrea says
aw, thanks so much Sonia!
I’m thrilled you have also found contentment in “just” being home with your family. It’s somewhat of a lost art in today’s busy, career-driven world.
Debby says
Andrea, even though we are years apart in age and I am an empty nester now, your posts always touch me in some way. I believe the gift in all the craziness of this year is that we have had time to slow down and evaluate what it is we really want. I also walked away from most social media this year and really started decluttering my home. I have decluttered many times but this time is different. This time isn’t for appearances, although that is a great side effect, it is for the purpose of feeling lighter and freer. When you and Dave decided to live a frugal lifestyle you did it because of goals you had set, but the lovely side effect is that you can take time away and just simply be. I am listening to the book The Simple Path to Wealth and the author speaks of times in his life where he did just what you are doing. He pushed pause with his job/business and really enjoyed his life and family. In a simple way. He could do that because he had been intentional and frugal with his money. I just listened to this at the gym this morning and now the same message is coming to me through your post today. I found your blog while searching for file cabinet systems. I loved that post and still use your system to this day. So today I send you good vibes, prayers, and ask God and the angels to walk with you on this journey for clarity. Your heavenly staff is right beside you. Best wishes my friend. I look forward to your emails and blog post as they come. Sending a virtual hug from Ohio. <3
Andrea says
Thank you so much Debby,
It is definitely a blessing to be able to “walk away” without worrying about the income. We’ve been saving for many years and living frugally… so there has neve been any pressure on us to make a certain amount of money because we know we can always live on less than we make 🙂
I appreciate your encouraging words, your prayers, and your virtual hugs!
JoAnn C. says
Love and prayers to you, Andrea. You’re amazing. If I have a vote, i’d say yes to the private facebook group, thank you.
My favorite recipe of yours is the English Muffin bread. I add chives, cheddar cheese and one or two clove(s) of roasted garlic, and it is delicious!
Thanks, Andrea for an inspiring post.
Andrea says
Oh yum — I love the savory combo. Might need to try that myself 🙂
Shellie says
Thank you Andrea for all your hard work! I loved reading about paying off your house and we did too! I also enjoy the consignment shopping and thrifting. I love to-do lists, calendars, organizing and the accomplishment of decluttering. Praying for you
Andrea says
Congrats on paying off your home early — isn’t that a huge stress relief!
Thanks for your prayers and encouragement
Clare says
Thank you for sharing this Andrea. I think many of us have similar thoughts, at least I know I do. Even though you don’t have answers it is still very helpful to others just articulate your thoughts.
I have found your recipes and generally all your food related posts the most helpful. You have absolutely inspired me with your path to healthier eating, and I have implemented lots of your tips with my family. Please keep doing these!
Andrea says
Thanks Clare — I hope to keep going for a long time… just maybe at a less intense level!
Roberta says
I have been following you for years Andrea and appreciate your advice and tips so much! You have helped make my life a lot simpler and fulfilling! I have enjoyed seeing your family grow and I absolutely love your farmhouse! May God keep blessing you for all the help that you’re giving to all of us women out here …..
Andrea says
Thanks for the encouragement!
Jeannie says
Sharing so vulnerably today actually reveals your strength! Continue to do what is best for you and your family. Your faithful readers will always be there.
Favorite post: The Emergency Binder I took the time during the pandemic to finally the binder, purchase a fireproof bag from Amazon, and tell a family friend where to find it. Also completed your friend Lisa Woodruff’s mini-emergency binder that was/is a free download. (Organize365)
Be safe and be well. Seek shalom (wholeness) and Sabbath rest.
Andrea says
yay — I know so many who have done the Emergency Binder and feel so much relief from crossing that to-do off the list!
And all of Lisa’s stuff is amazing so I’m sure that was great too.
Thanks for your encouragement!
Sarah says
I feel like I am going through this too-but maybe from the opposite. Im a stay at home mom-and I love it and have always dreamed of this. But now Ive been kind of forced into homeschooling (which has never been a dream of mine), finances are tight and I feel I have no way of helping with that-and the stress of the year is just piling up. Thanks for your honest post. We feel you, but dont blame you at all for taking a break. I really enjoy your blog. Your posts have made me think more deeply about my life so many times. Thank you.
Andrea says
Thanks for sharing Sarah — I hear you about the homeschooling. I’m so thankful our schools are open right now, but I know that could change at any moment!
Keep in mind that my simply cooking frugal meals at home you are saving your family a tremendous amount of money each month. If you were working outside the home, you might opt for convenience foods, fast food, etc. That really ads up for a family.
I think we’ll all look back on 2020 and realize it was one crazy year — I’m sorry you’re in a tough position right now. Just keep doing your best, that has to be enough right now.
Jen says
Let mine be one little ol’ vote for a private FB group. I would LOVE that. I’m in a few other private groups that are so fun and also really helpful and supportive, too.
While I will miss your daily blog posts (I’m old and I still love blogs!), you’ve definitely made the right choice. (Not that you need me to tell you that!) I am so grateful that I was able to be mom, wife, and home manager before “social media” was even a thing, and I can understand your conflicted feelings and need for clarity. I’m also grateful that, as of right now, you aren’t leaving the online space totally and forever. I would miss you! 🙂
Finally, since we are nearly the same person, much of the decluttering, organization, and goal-setting content doesn’t apply to me. 😉 BUT….I will be forever grateful for your recipes for Oven-Baked Sandwiches and the From-A-Box Bundt Cake–both of which I make frequently. (I took the sandwiches to a bridal shower for our daughter two weeks ago, and they were a HUGE hit!)
Enjoy those kiddos, bible studies, and library books! Sometimes, we “Martha” types have a hard time seeing the value in being a “Mary”, but it’s always a worthy choice. (Of course, I’ll always contend that Mary could be Mary because Martha was actually getting everything done! LOL!)
Andrea says
I think we all look back fondly on the time before social media. I was just telling someone the other day, “I’m so glad I could enjoy middle school and high school without social media”… and here you are saying you’re glad you could enjoy motherhood without it. Something is seriously wrong with social media if it has all of us fondly remembering the “good old days” before it existed!
And yes, we ARE nearly the same person — bundt cake, baked sammies, organized homes, 4 kids, and “Martha” personalities. I 100% stand by the fact that the only reason our world can have “Marys” is because there are enough “Marthas” to do everything for them 🙂
Mary says
I think we are all beginning to realize that we need to consider our personal choices regarding social media and the role it plays in our lives. It is so easy to become increasingly involved. We would all do well to take an honest look at whether our lives are better or worse because of the impact of its various forms. Watching The Social Dilemma on Netflix was an eye opening look into the way our minds and lifestyles are being manipulated without our knowledge. Highly recommend it!
Andrea says
Thanks for the Netflix suggestion… I just recently watched this documentary and it was REALLY eye-opening. I’ll be sharing it in my Favorite Things post next month.
Sarah says
Love this – and you know I went through this too and still haven’t quite found my way out of that unsettling feeling of what now. It’s inevitable as the children grow – and the change is inevitable too so it’s how we embrace it – and what we are willing to let go of or gain without fear. ❤️ And you are doing a fabulous job of just that.
Andrea says
yes yes, it’s good to know we all go through these times of change. Thanks for showing me how amazingly fulfilling it can be to be a stay-at-home-mom!
Marva says
Thank you for being so transparent and trusting us with your heart! You are such a wise woman. You have helped this perfectionist to accept ‘good enough’. Whew! What a relief! I’m praying for you to have clear direction and peace beyond human understanding. ♥️
Andrea says
wow — that’s a huge accomplishment. Good enough is SO much easier to attain that perfectionism 🙂
Thanks for you’re prayers.
Audra says
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I think finding a balance and being content in the present is a struggle for many. I teach full time and have kids in 5 travel sports (we embrace this as a privilege)….the struggle is real. I’ve enjoyed the favorite things post as well as many recipes…baked sandwiches, pulled pork with the apple pie filling, and chicken in crescents are a few that come to mind right now. I’ve also done searches on your websites many times to refer back to posts to get ideas. Super helpful!
Andrea says
Audra — how can 2 little boys be in 5 different travel sports? Is that even possible!?!?!
You’re a rockstar to keep that all organized 🙂
Also, we had the chicken packets tonight and everyone raved about them. I make that recipe EVERY month and it’s always a winner!
Kim says
Wow! What a heartfelt post this morning. It is rather reassuring to know that other people go through these times of reevaluation. It may be uncomfortable but it can be a healthy process. The example of a patient, supportive husband is duly noted here. What a blessing.
You have just completed an intense decade of parenting. So glad you are as dedicated to home and family as much as ever.
I have liked the idea you have given of prioritizing tomorrow’s to-do list the night before.
I have greatly benefited from the posts about adding in more and more vegetables to meals.
Zillions more.
Can’t wait to see that basement!
The new table is marvelous!!!
I feel whiny about only one post per week. But, I doubt a seasoned mom like you will cave to whininess.
Blessings,
Kim
Andrea says
haha — sorry to make you whiny, but you’re right, I won’t cave just yet!
Honestly, I’d LOVE to go back to 5 posts a week (seriously, I loved that routine) but I know it’s not good for me. I CAN do it, I just shouldn’t. Aren’t I just so grown-up and responsible — LOL!
Kate says
Thank you for all that you have shared in this latest blog Andrea, it has really touched my heart. You are such an inspiration to us all.
Andrea says
You’re welcome, Kate!
Kellie says
Andrea! Like always, your post is so timely! 2020 has been a year for the books and your blog has been a huge source of encouragement. Thanks for sharing your heart with us! I can so relate! Just this year I did something I’ve NEVER done in my 11 years of marriage in order to simplify – I ordered pizza for dinner…AND HAD IT DELIVERED! I know this is silly but I’ve always been too cheap to pay for it when I could drive 3 miles down the road. IT WAS GLORIOUS! Totally worth the measly $8 in tip and delivery fee when you have a screaming baby, a kindergartener who needs help in the bathroom, and haven’t been to the store in a while. Just thought this might be a funny way to give someone the permission to treat themselves if they’re in the same boat. 🙂
Andrea says
this is awesome. At first, I thought “on my goodness, she’s never ordered a pizza before”, but then I quickly realized your point about the delivery. I’ve never paid for delivery either — maybe I should try it someday!
Kellie says
Bwahahahaha game changer over here
Amy says
Thank you for that post! I took your advice this summer and took a month away from social media when I realized how much stress and anxiety it was causing in my life. It was a much needed break. Thank you for the advice and all of the delicious recipes over the years. My family is a HUGE fan of your hashbrown quiche and baked sandwiches!
Andrea says
Thanks Amy — I’m glad you enjoyed a social media break… and, baked sandwiches are on our menu for tomorrow night 🙂
Amy says
I do not do social media so I hope you don’t do just a private facebook group! But I understand of course if that’s what you end up doing 🙂
Adri says
Hi Andrea, you’ve impacted my life with several ideas but my favorite is bringing back the cast iron skillet. One day in January I looked up your post on seasoning it and the rest is history. My mom had packed it in my “kitchen necessities” 20 years ago but I’d never used it much, (such a pain to clean). But after reading everything you did, I jumped in. I wouldn’t be much in the kitchen without it now. It makes everything taste better:) I’m a few years ahead of you and have shared the same feelings you describe. I went back to work as a school nurse as my four are almost all teens now. I still struggle with the balance when I have time to think deeply. I love that you’re intentional and “laser focused” on what’s important. You won’t ever regret it. I prayed for you this morning. Thank you for sharing.
Andrea says
yay! I was just “cleaning” all my cast iron last night and thinking about the fact that it’s been almost 3 years since I started using them (I believe Clara was a little baby). I doubt I’ll ever go back to non-stick or stainless frying pans. I LOVE the cast iron!
Kristina R says
Thank you for sharing your heart, Andrea! It helps me to know that even those I admire & aspire to be more like don’t have all the answers, either. I look forward to tagging along with whatever decision you make! I also have children similar in age to yours & we will never have these years, these moments back again. We truly are living our best lives right now. As much as I love everything you share, I fully support your decision to step back and clarify. That’s an admirable move & one that I wish more influencers would share, instead of constantly pursuing more. Sending my love to you!
Andrea says
It’s very easy to always strive for “more” no matter what your stage in life. It’s just our culture!
Thanks for your words of encouragement today — I appreciate them so much.
Amanda Roberts says
I read almost all of your blog posts and it helped me declutter and manage things a little better; it’s still a work in progress but I’ll get there. I finally, and I mean finally, am content with where I am. This only happened in the past year and I’m so happy it did!
One of the fav recipes that we all LOVE are the ranch carrots! They always go over so well and I’ve shared your recipe with many of my friends!
I’m working on taking care of me with exercising and eating healthier while also incorporating more whole foods for the whole family.
Thanks for all you do Andrea, it doesn’t go unnoticed!
Take care, Amanda
Andrea says
Thank you, Amanda.
Contentment is always a work in progress — but I’m getting there, for sure!
Yay for more time for yourself. You won’t regret that.
Also, we enjoyed the ranch carrots last night 🙂