Inside: “The days are long but the years are short.” This cliché phrase rang true for me when I recently realized I almost missed a huge parenting milestone!
Over the past several intense but worthy years spent growing, birthing, raising, and training infants and toddlers, I’ve anticipated the day when I could finally say, “we’re finished with the baby stage!”
It IS a significant parenting milestone, after all!
But you know what… that HUGE milestone recently slipped through the mundane moments of our normal everyday lives.
Yup… I almost missed it!
She eventually stopped nursing herself to sleep… I don’t even remember the day, maybe it was a Tuesday… but one day I realized we were done.
She decided she wanted to wear big girl undies so we entertained the idea of potty training her much earlier than any of our other kids… and a week later, I realized we didn’t need diapers anymore.
She asked to sit in a big girl chair for lunch and I said “yes”… a month later, I realized we hadn’t used the highchair in a while, so I sold it on Facebook Marketplace.
She asked to sleep in big sister’s room… so we took the crib down and moved her upstairs (and then rearranged the entire main floor!)
She said she could get herself dressed… and put on her own shoes… and wash her hands by herself… and she can!
She told me she’s a “big girl”… and she is!
When did it happen?
How did I “miss” it?
Looking back over the past few months, I saw so many other changes too.
Nora “graduated” out of her booster seat in the van — yay for only 3 car seats instead of 4!
Simon is reading like crazy.
James transitioned to taking showers instead of baths.
The older 3 all finished another year of school.
And miss Clara is basically just one of the big kids now.
They all play SO well together (85% of the time). I often feel like a spectator instead of a referee — which I’m OK with!
This didn’t happen overnight of course… which is why it was easy to miss.
No big announcement, no line-in-the-sand moment.
But here we are, on the other side — more than 3000 long-feeling days that somehow flew by to the tune of 8 and a half “short years”.
Looking back, I clearly see the natural transition from baby to big girl, from dependant to independent, from then to now.
Somedays, these changes come so fast they almost knock the wind out of me.
Other days, they feel like a warm breeze, gently leading me into the next glorious phase of parenthood.
Over the years, Dave and I have talked about what life will be like once all our children…
- can walk
- sleep through the night
- can feed themselves
- are out of diapers
- can actually have a conversation with us
- etc. etc.
And you know what… we’re THERE!
We’ve entered into a totally new phase of life as a family — one where all our children are fairly capable of doing their thing without all that much help from us (at least not compared to the amount of care a newborn requires).
We planned to do a bunch of traveling the first summer all our children were potty trained. That would have been this summer…
But travel or no travel, I’m excited to be past the baby stage!
It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it (yes, there were definitely times I did NOT enjoy it) and I know I will miss some of it, but I feel VERY ready to move on.
My life feels lighter and my schedule has a little more breathing room than it did when I was the person meeting all our baby’s needs.
I’ve never been one to dwell on the past, so truly, I’m eager to forge ahead!
So far, this transition to big kids has been fabulous.
We can have real conversations.
I can ask for their opinions and actually get a useful answer.
They are helpful (when they want to be).
We can play games together (and I don’t always have to fake losing).
I know there are good and not-so-good aspects of every life season, but I’m excited to move into this next phase of family life.
We want to travel a bit.
We’re excited to be more involved in school and church events.
I hope to devote more time and energy to my business.
The kids are begging us for a pet (and smartphones — ha!)
… and the list goes on!
I know so many of you were here even before Dave and I entered the baby stage, and now… we’re zooming right on to the next phase of life.
Seriously, can you believe it!?
It’s been fun to share my pregnancies and birth announcements with you, along with all the joys and struggles that come with navigating those challenging infant years.
I know we’re not “out of the woods” when it comes to parenting struggles, but I wanted to officially “close” this chapter of our lives on the blog!
We’re finished with the baby stage, friends!
Helpful Resources for Parents of Young Children:
5 Basic needs we MUST meet for our children (so simple, but so profound).
Simple tips for expectant parents.
Encouragement for parents of picky eaters (take a deep breath, you can do this).
Our journey with a high-needs sensory baby (I feel your pain… it’s such a struggle).
5 tips to survive sleepless nights (I promise not to tell you how to magically fix your baby)!
Our fantastic bedtime routine (they are in bed by 7 pm!)
How to make time slow down so you can actually enjoy your kids (from my friend’s blog).
How we make more time to read with our kids (they love this!)
My 3-minute Motherhood challenge (this is gold!)
Alicia says
This is so ironic that the date you posted this was my oldest son’s 12th birthday! I cannot believe how quickly time has flown…he was barely 3 when I started reading your blog !
Thank you for this reminder. Things are so crazy right now with 5 boys from 12 down to 9 months…I’m often so busy I forget to savor the little moments with each of them. Because one day you wake up and they’re 12 and you wonder where in the world the time went!
Andrea says
oh wow — happy birthday (belated) to your son! Yes, time flies!
Kimberley Carlisle says
Aw! Congrats to you and Dave! I have been following your blog since before you were pregnant with Nora. It’s crazy to think how quickly all that time has gone by. I have entered your giveaways (and even won one!), tried some of your awesome recipes and have even tried other tips and tricks! I have loved following your family.
My husband and I have been through a lot the last 10 years. Our son just turned 10 this past April and our daughter is 5.5 years old. We have been out of the baby stage for a while and I have to say, it feels great. Our daughter is at the point now where she takes showers, prefers them actually, gets herself dressed and needs minimal help with other things. I have to say, it feels good. Welcome!!! 🙂
Andrea says
Thanks 🙂
Sounds like you’ve had a big decade too! It’s crazy to think that 10 years ago, we didn’t have any children, we didn’t even know our farmhouse existed, and I was JUST starting to think about the idea of “starting a blog”. Wow — what a decade it has been!
Laura says
Hi Andrea. You may want to watch this short video. I have the book and once in a while I re-read it just to remember to savor every moment, as you don’t know if it will be the last
https://youtu.be/rQeDfcvTRnA
Marva says
Congratulations! You’ll really enjoy this next season of parenting. The look in Clara’s eyes – she’s ready to take on the world with vim, vigor and vitality!!! No wonder – she’s already accomplished joining the ‘big kids’ in record time.
Andrea says
haha — yes, She has a big personality!
Kim says
Congrats on this milestone, such a great post!
Karen Miller says
Hi Andrea, I really hope you and Dave truly enjoy this new stage of your lives. Travel if you want or just enjoy time with each other. Most of all, if I could give one little tidbit of advice, don’t sweat the small stuff! Enjoy this stage. Have fun with each other. Can’t wait to read all about your adventures…
Andrea says
Thank you, Karen!
JJ says
This is such an awesome post! Your perspective is refreshing! I am a “feeler” so this post definitely brought up some feelings–haha! Your kids are growing so fast, and that’s awesome that you find the great parts of each stage while trouble-shooting or riding through the bumps in harder aspects of each stage. ☺️
Cheryl Wetherington says
I have enjoyed watching your beautiful children grow and mature through the years! Thanks for sharing your family!
BTW when did Clara get so tall?
Andrea says
Thanks for your long-time readership, Cheryl — and yes, Clara is growing like a week (they all are!)
JoDi says
Wait! Not your great-grandma’s high chair? The one you painted red? I’m not super sentimental about things, but I think that’s one I would have kept. Maybe I’m just feeling extra sentimental because of your post. 🙂 We used my husband’s bedroom furniture from when he was a kid in our son’s room, and we’ve saved it in case he wants it for his child someday along with a couple of other small items from his room. They take up a small bit of space in our basement, but passing a few select things on from family history is important to me. I have my grandparent’s cuckoo clock in our family room. It carries treasured memories from childhood for me so it was the one thing I asked for after they had both passed. Most of the things we bought in our early married life have left our home, but there’s one table I wish I’d kept because of where and when we bought it. It didn’t fit our décor after a while and storage space was at a premium when we lived in a smaller house, but now I wish I had it! It’s hard to know what you’ll regret getting rid of though so it’s a tough balancing act between keeping too much and keeping the right few things.
I didn’t miss the baby stage either – much preferred the big kid stage!
Andrea says
no no no!! Not my grandma’s highchair — that’s serving as a decorative element in our new dining room!
We didn’t actually use that as a functional highchair (more as a booster seat for our kitchen island). I sold our functional highchair! Don’t worry!
JoDi says
Whew! Now I can sleep at night. (JK!) I figured that was something you’d pass on to a family member if you didn’t need it anymore, but I couldn’t remember if you had a different high chair for daily use.
Andrea says
haha — good. glad I did cause sleepless nights for you 🙂
Dawn Kaestner says
Lovely post, again. And what I most took away from it? The Dekkers may get a pet soon! As a mother of two grown sons, my best parenting advice is “get a dog”. It is the greatest gift of love, companionship, empathy and responsibility that you can give a child (or an adult). Just as you do with new children in a family, you will wonder how your family was ever complete without them.
Andrea says
haha — I don’t know about the pet thing yet. Dave and I both enjoyed having dogs growing up, but it’s a lot of work and I really don’t know if I want the emotional part (worrying about one more thing)
We’ll see if the kids work their magic on me 🙂
Julie says
I think a dog helps the kids to take on responsibility and is a good practice to learn about the “relationship of choice”. Responsibility because you “want to”, much like parenting. It sort of helps them practice for their own life relationships. And, as with all relationships, we learn from the one “we are caring for”- often the caring is going the other way. Dogs are good teachers, because they need so much- but the care they give is so deep it teaches us a lot.
I don’t say this lightly, we just got a puppy! And she is more work than I imagined! But my boys (teens now) are taking care of her mostly. But I’m the only one up early, so the first two hours are my watch. As I type this, there’s a puppy behind my back sleeping wedged between myself and the chair with her front legs sticking way up my back. If I were to get up she would topple down without even waking up hardly, I gather she has not a worry in the world! Our 14 year old dog passed away a few months ago, and getting our new puppy has been bittersweet for one of kids. I realize now also, that pets teach how “life goes on” after a loss, which is difficult- but important. There is always love ahead, and always someone who needs love.
So, I vote get a dog lol. And yes mom does more than her fair share no matter how you slice it! But it’s more fun to do my morning routine with a little friend (about 75 percent of the time! Lol).
Andrea says
Awww … I love the IDEA of getting a puppy, but it just feels like one more “to-do” for me right now.
Give me another year — maybe we’ll get one next spring so we have all summer to “train” him/her!
Debbie says
Congratulations! I’ve enjoyed and learned tons from what you shared during the baby phase stage of your family. I hope you’ll continue to share as the kids grow older because I just know there’ll be lots more to learn and grow from in future stages.
Andrea says
Thank you, Debbie! I appreciate your LOOONG time readership and support!
Dana says
Such an enjoyable post! You have a beautiful family and I’ve enjoyed following along since Nora was a baby. During that time I was going through infertility struggles and now have 2 toddlers and this post is such a great reminder to slow down and enjoy the family time. You do that so well. I find a lot of content with your blog and have enjoyed some of the recipes and gotten great tips over the years. I’m sure what you have to come will offer just as much.
Andrea says
Oh wow — congrats to you Dana!
2 sweet toddlers… how wonderful for you (and busy!)
Thanks for your long-time readership and for sharing your story!
Kim says
Andrea, you started out with a very challenging, first-time mom experience. Bless your heart, as we say here in TX! Wow! You persevered! And, what a milestone you have passed. So much of the exhausting work is behind you. I know you and Dave will do a great job, with the Lord’s help, in the next phases.
Wondering if you have any report on how your girls are doing sharing a room…..with the age difference……………..if I am not being too nosy.
Andrea says
Yes, my first round of motherhood definitely threw me a few curveballs! But, it made me really appreciate the others being “easier” babies! Also, it gave me SO much more empathy for other moms who are struggling.
As for the girls sharing a bedroom – it’s going just fine. Nora did mention that she wishes she could have her own room sometimes, but I think she really does like having a roommate.
We don’t really have any other options the way our home is currently set up — so hopefully it keeps going OK for them!
Natalia says
What a sweet moment! I love that you took time to notice, absorb it’s significance and celebrate it by sharing with us!
It is very tempting for me to focus on the growth I want to see in my daughters, and forget to celebrate what has already happened!
I’ll make a list of conquered battles. Today.
Andrea says
yes, make your list! These types of lists are fun to make too (even if it’s just a mental list!)
Annette Silveira says
First off, Dave’s beard! Love it. Second, as a mom of adults, you find you’re never out of the woods. This just proves that your children love you and feel comfortable coming to you when they are sad, scared or suffering. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Andrea says
haha — I’ll pass your compliments along to Dave 🙂
Thanks for sharing your perspective as a mother who is further along in the journey — I appreciate it!
LEANNE says
and it flies… I just took my 15 1/2 year old for his DRIVER’S PERMIT… I let him come home at 12:15 last night after going to a good friend’s house for a bonfire… My 13 year old is now taller than me… and I’m thankful when my 12 year old still wants me to tuck him in for the night… They can play euchre with their Dad… (I still cannot!)…
The quarantine gave us a gift… extra time… to enjoy them…nurture them…encourage/discipline them…and love them… so thankful for that! (but, I am hopeful they WILL return to SCHOOL) sometime this Fall!
and to help myself out I work part-time in a preschool… it helps me get my “littles” fix…
congratulations! you made it!!
Andrea says
wow — exciting times for your family! a new driver soon!
I also loved being home with everyone this spring (but yes, I’m hoping for school to resume in the fall!)
Edie says
Isn’t it great?! My three are 12, 10, and 4, so our baby days are well past, too. While I occasionally long to hold their baby selves for a few minutes every now and then, I’m enjoying their big kid selves too much to want to rewind time! When friends and family lament on how much they’ve grown, how it was too fast, and how much I must miss having tiny kids, I always let them know how enjoyable it is to have little people I can truly talk to, who generally sleep all night, and who don’t need me to do everything for them all the time! Congrats on y’all’s graduation from the baby stage!
Debra says
Hello Andrea, I found your site just around the time miss Clara was born and have enjoyed the pics and stories you’ve shared. It’s lovely that you noticed this phase was evolving. As a woman who’s nest is very empty, with no grandchildren as yet in site, I can appreciate the feeling of freedom when you no longer need to carry a diaper bag. For the longest time I’d find toddler items in my purse and eventually even that stopped. Trust me, it will be sooner than you can imagine before Nora is heading off to her future so I congratulate you on identifying a way to work from home.
So many parents miss a great deal when working outside the home to support their family.
Please allow me to thank you for sharing your stories. They always lead me to reminisce on experiences my family shared. While I am proud of the adults they’ve become I miss my babies not sleeping under the same roof as their father & me.
May God bless and keep your family
Andrea says
Hi Debra!
Yes, the freedom of no diaper bag and stroller is fantastic right now (even though we can’t really go all that many places!)
I feel very fortunate to have been home with the kids all these years — personally, I can’t imagine it any other way!
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me today!
Andrea says
yes, it’s so fun now that they are a bit older (and sleeping through the night!!)
Tammy says
So bittersweet! The stage you’ve entered holds it’s own treasures, enjoy!
Andrea says
thanks Tammy — we are so excited to enter into this bigger kid stage!
Bridget says
Wow, this “final and done” wording would be a surefire way for me to get pregnant….
Andrea says
haha — I know, right!?!
We’ve been “done” for 2 years though, so hopefully, I’m not jinxing myself 🙂
Melissa D. says
It honestly just keeps getting better! I always say to my husband (jokingly) that, “we’ve raised real human beings!” Seeing all of that hard work you put into teaching them and guiding them to be good people who will make a difference in the world is an incredible feeling. Enjoy every “stage” as it comes, teenagers are so fun! And even as we prepare to move my oldest into his own place with a real job next week, being a parent to an adult child is just as sweet. Thanks for sharing your “stages” with us!
Andrea says
Thanks for the encouragement! I’m excited for this new stage!
Lorrie says
Goodness, after watching your children grow through the years… I think I feel more sad about this than you do!! No more babies! 🙂 Not really, I’m happy for your family – but always a sentimentalist at heart!
Andrea says
Awww… thanks Lorrie!
I honestly don’t feel “sad” — more excited for the “next stage”!
JoAnn C. says
Congratulations! Thanks, Andrea for sharing your family milestones and ups and downs all these years. I can’t believe how tall Nora has gotten, well all the kids really, but Nora is almost as tall as you. Dave looks great with a beard, very cool.
Andrea says
I know — Nora is almost up to my shoulder!
As for Dave’s beard — we’ll see how long he lets it grow — I think it’s getting hot and itchy 🙂
Kristi says
I have been reading since you were pregnant with Nora and have loved watching all of your kids grow into big girls and boys. And you are right, it is so easy to “miss it” when it’s happening but so amazing when you realize that it Has. Enjoy this phase! Thank you for sharing your family with the world
Andrea says
thanks, Kristi!
I appreciate your long-time readership!
Sherry says
Great article and fun to think back to the “baby” stages. I am a grandmother now and love being with my two grandsons ages 5 years and one almost a year. Another joy to look forward to in your life.
Andrea says
yes, always good and fun things to look forward to (taken in stride with the not-so-fun times too!)
Ann says
Thank you for mentioning that Nora graduated from her car booster. Our boy has too although we really want him to stay in it. I think I’ll let it go.
Andrea says
yeah… it was time! We have friends who are sticking with car seats and boosters for as long as possible, but we felt it was time to move on. She was THRILLED!
Paulette says
Andrea, I have loved reading all the posts about your children. They are absolutely adorable! Thank you for sharing your family with us!
Andrea says
you’re welcome 🙂
Sue says
Congratulations! And thank you for sharing it all with us, your readers. I have been a follower since Nora’s “feeding issues”. I have learned so much from your articles and insights; as well as your recipes- mashed potatoes soup is our favorite! I find myself quoting you to my family or directing them to one of your articles. I hope you continue your posts and I look forward to watching you and your family move through the coming years. It feels like we’ve been friends forever. Thanks again for being there. Sue
Andrea says
yay for cheesy mashed potato soup (isn’t it SOOOOO easy!)
thanks for your long-time support and virtual friendship!
Shelley says
Thank you for sharing this little snippet of your family life, it’s wonderful! I think I’ve been reading your blog since Nora was a baby, and although I came for the organisation and simplification posts, I’ve loved your posts about your family too.
So many blogs either focus on ‘everything’s wonderful, all the time’ or ‘oh wow isn’t parenting a struggle, all the time’ and I really appreciate that you share both the ups and the downs, it’s so real.
I don’t have kids of my own, but if I ever do, I’ll be going back through all your posts for the tips and lessons you’ve shared over the years! Thank you for sharing.
Andrea says
Thank you for your long-time readership, Shelley!
I appreciate your kind words and your loyal support 🙂