Gift-giving traditions that focus on meaningful experiences rather than physical objects can help keep your family celebrations clutter-free while still making them memorable. Keep reading for 10 less-cluttery, less-consumeristic gift-giving traditions you might consider for your family’s next gift-giving occasion.
As you can imagine, I’m regularly asked about ideas for less-clutter gift-giving traditions… and I have several really fun alternatives to piles and piles of gifts at Christmas, birthdays and other holidays.
However, before I get too far into my clutter-free gift ideas, I first want to share a bit more about our family’s “gift-giving culture” and how that sets the foundation for more naturally clutter-free holidays.
Change Your Family’s Gift-Giving Culture:
We love spoiling our kids on their birthdays — special breakfasts, dinner with grandparents, sometimes a lunch date with mom or dad, occasional parties with friends, and quite a few gifts… but this is really the only time of the year we get them lots of gifts for a celebration.
We don’t do any gifts for Valentine’s Day, Easter, Halloween, or any other “Hallmark Holiday” during the year.
And for Christmas, we usually keep it very simple with a few gifts they need and items they purchase for each other from the School Love Bazaar.
We don’t do stockings, we don’t do “Santa gifts”, we don’t have any specific gift-giving routines, and we often open our handful of Christmas gifts several weeks before Christmas — so Christmas Day with our own immediate family isn’t about gifts at all (don’t worry, the kids get Christmas gifts from grandparents!)
I do have lots of fun wrapping our family Christmas gifts each year — but we spend very little money on the actual gifts and it’s definitely not the focal point of our Christmas season.
I don’t say this to shame anyone who does things differently, but rather to point out that clutter-free gift-giving is less about limiting the number of gifts you give on any specific day and more about how you approach gift-giving in general.
Our kids don’t expect gifts for anything other than their birthday and a few Christmas gifts from relatives. And Dave and I don’t make a big deal about gifts on our birthdays, our anniversary, or even Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. We DO celebrate… just not with gifts.
Before you start setting legalistic “rules” for your holiday gift-giving, I’d encourage you to first consider your current gift-giving culture as well as what your ideal gift-giving culture would be.
Focus on small changes you can make this holiday season and throughout the coming year… then continue to implement less consumeristic traditions into your family’s special days in years to come.
Obviously, if you are satisfied with your current gift-giving traditions, don’t feel pressured to change anything.
However, if you’d like a few ideas to help you reduce your consumeristic clutter, I’ve got 10 clutter-free gift-giving traditions you might consider this year!
10 Non-Cluttery Gift-Giving Traditions
Whether you’re looking to cut back on consumerism, limit the excess clutter coming into your home, or simply try out a new gift-giving tradition this year, you’re sure to find something that works for you and your family below!
1. Plan an Experience Together
This is one of my (and my kids’) most favorite gift ideas any time of year — birthdays, Christmas, or “just because”.
It’s not necessarily cheaper or easier than buying a gift, but it IS clutter-free and the memories will last longer than almost any other gift.
That said, an experience gift does not need to be expensive — it could be as simple as planning a game night together with some special snacks or going for a bike ride and grabbing an ice cream cone.
Experience gifts are great for kids (from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) but they are also a great gift to give to that hard-to-buy for person on your list.
Related Reading: Fun and Easy Experience Gift Ideas
2. Give an I.O.U + a Shopping Date
Growing up, Dave’s family often just gifted “I.O.U” coupons (I owe you) with an item or list of items they thought the other person might want. Then, after the holiday, they went out shopping together as a family to purchase some of these items (often at discounted prices since the holiday was over).
This is really fun for younger children who don’t have their own money. They can simply draw a picture or write out what gift they want to give their parents or siblings, and then everyone can enjoy shopping together while mom and dad foot the bill (older children can pitch in with their own money).
3. Volunteer Together
Volunteers are always needed — at church, at school, in the community, or even right in your own neighborhood. Volunteering together as a family is a great opportunity to give back to those around you, to teach valuable lessons, and to make memories together.
You could pair a volunteer opportunity with a fun family dinner or dessert at a favorite restaurant for some extra togetherness.
4. Donate Money to a Special Cause
This is my favorite gift for elderly relatives who literally do not need anything (not even more pictures) but you don’t want them to feel left out or forgotten.
Our kids have also been invited to peer birthday parties where, instead of a gift, they have requested $5 or $10 donations to a specific cause.
Be intentional about donating to something you think they would value, and pair it with a thoughtful card or note, explaining why you chose that specific cause or organization.
Related Reading: 5 Gift Ideas for the Person who has Everything
5. Host a White Elephant Gift Exchange
These have always been fun for me — with family, with friends, with coworkers, with neighbors. Everyone usually gets into the fun and no one needs to purchase an expensive gift. In fact, all the White Elephant Gift Exchanges I’ve participated in over the years have required the gift to be something you already have in your home (and it doesn’t need to be brand new).
You can use any rules you want — as long as they are agreed upon before you start the exchange. And you could also hide a $20 bill in one of the gifts as an extra fun surprise.
6. Plan a Gift Card Exchange
Ask everyone involved to purchase a gift card for a set dollar amount (I’ve participated in gift card exchanges that are anywhere from $5 to $100 — they are always fun).
As people open a gift card, they can either choose to keep their gift card or “trade” with someone else… and the process keeps going until all the gift cards are opened. Sometimes the trading can get intense and everyone is usually laughing by the end.
Related Reading: Creative Ways to Give Gift Cards
7. Draw Names & Set a Monetary Limit
If your family isn’t quite ready to give-up gift gifts, drawing names is one of the best and easiest ways to limit excessive spending and gift-giving during the holidays — especially if you have many siblings, cousins, friends, etc. involved in the gift exchange
Simply buy one gift and get one gift — done!
Also, it’s important to set a monetary limit for these gifts — the lower you set it, the more creative people will get!
8. Give a Consumable Gift
Although I hesitate to recommend personal toiletries or food items due to so many allergies and personal preferences these days, I’m also well-aware that these can be great frugal and clutter-free gift options IF you know your recipient well and are away of any allergies or sensitivities they have.
I love consumable gifts… because they are useful and clutter-free. Plus, they do seem more personal to me (but I also don’t have any allergies or sensitivities).
Related Reading: Tips for Giving the Gift of Food
9. Give Want, Need, Wear, Read Gifts
It’s hard to tell parents or grandparents not to give any gifts to their children/grandchildren… but if your goal is to move away from the consumeristic side of the holidays, it’s wise to set a limit on gifts.
I love the classic “Want, Need, Wear, Read” which limits you to 4 gifts for each child:
- Want: something they just really want — this could be anything!
- Need: an item they actually need — often socks, toiletries, an item for school etc.
- Wear: any type of clothing, shoes, coat, backpack — something they can put on.
- Read: any type of book (could also be a music or media item)
I’ve also heard of the “3 Wisemen Gift tradition” where each person get’s 3 gifts, similar to how the Wisemen gave Jesus 3 gifts.
10. Coordinate One Group Gift
This is always my go-to option for any teacher or coach — it takes a bit more planning and organization, but I think it makes things easier (and more clutter-free) in the long run.
I usually send an email out a month or so before the gift is needed explaining my gift-giving intentions and asking for any donations to be sent to my Venmo. Then I purchase the gift, send out an email with a picture, and sometimes do a group card with a note or at least “signature” from the class, team, group, etc.
This also works for families too — we love doing family gifts (either as the recipient or the giver).
We got a trampoline from my parents as a family gift one year and a zoo membership from Dave’s parents. We’ve also gifted our children a membership to a local trampoline park when they were younger and we spent more time at home. And we’ve gifted other families with memberships or even something like a “Family Movie Night gift basket”.
Group gifts are a great way to cut back on excess gift clutter!
Related Reading: Our Favorite Clutter-Free Teacher Gifts
Want More Clutter-Free Gift Ideas?
I’ve written extensively on clutter-free gifts over the years!
Here’s my Ultimate List of more than 75 clutter-free gift ideas for all ages and all budgets.
I could go on… but what I’d really like to read is what YOU do with your family!
What are your favorite clutter-free gift-giving traditions?
Chris says
When I was a teenager, my little brother had a paper route but had to be driven on it. For Christmas one year, I gave my parents the “gift” of getting up Sunday morning for several weeks and taking him on his paper route. 🙂
Andrea says
This is such a great Christmas gift idea — I love it!
Thanks so much for sharing!
Anna Marie Armour says
Hi Andrea,
I was wondering where you got the supplies for your Jesse Tree ornaments?
Andrea says
Hi Anna Marie — are you talking about the picture I put in my recent email newsletter?
Those ornaments are from amazon — I’m going to paint or decoupage pictures on them 🙂
Kate says
I think it changes as your family changes and kids grow and even year to year, depending on schedules. I’m a nurse and I have to work Christmas Day this year! 🙁 We have done the 3 gift rule for our 3 kids but it still seemed like they were getting too many toys. Last year we started the 4 gifts (want, need, wear, read) and it worked out better. This year we are still following that loosely (none of my kids really have any “needs!”) As far as birthdays, me and all of my kids share the same birthday week in February. Add in Valentines Day and it is a really crazy time! We just give them one gift for their birthdays and have one party. They get plenty from grandparents so all together it feels like a lot!
Andrea says
yes definitely!
When our kids were even younger, we didn’t really even do gifts. We literally just pulled out some toys and books they hadn’t played with in a while, wrapped them up in fun boxes, and let them have fun with the paper and boxes. Now that Nora and Simon “get” Christmas and birthdays more, I’ve just been stocking up on little things I find throughout the year and know they will love. They are also all getting new sheets, a new beach towel, and new gloves — so things they definitely needed anyway, but now they just get to unwrap them 🙂
Also, that’s A LOT of birthdays in one week!!
Linda T says
We started the tradition lately of taking our kids out with just us for their birthdays. We have 7 kids, and its really nice for them to have our attention for the evening. It usually happens on wing night too!
At Christmas time, the kids pick out names between themselves. We head out to the toy section of our favourite department store and wander there for a while to see what catches the kids’ eyes. Mom and Dad take notes, then split the kids up and they buy for their person. Then when they come home they wrap the gifts themselves. After many years of being the sole ‘gift-buyer’ its nice to be surprise about some gifts – even if they aren’t mine!
Linda T says
We also have started at Christmas time having more of an enjoyable family night with games and fun foods.
With 7 kids (the first 5 are boys, followed by 2 girls!), we had so many toys, movies, books, etc., etc! I found that there really was nothing that they needed, and our toy room didn’t need more either!
So this year I’m going more practical with the gifts – new PJs for everyone! We are also going to spend the evening doing some fun minute-to-win-it games!
Andrea says
I LOVE the idea of taking the kids one-on-one for their birthdays. We’ve talked about this too — at least for the older kids!
Alicia says
I didn’t realize Dave was from Washington – I am too ! (But still live here)
We don’t really have any Christmas gift traditions yet.but I think this year we are going to stick to the 4 gifts – want, wear, need, read. It’s getting to be too much, esp now with 4 kids. My husband and I don’t ever do gifts for each other either, and we usually just do a picture frame with updated family photo for the grandparents and aunts/uncle.
Andrea says
he definitely is from Washington! He always says “south central” — he grew up in Yakima Valley 🙂
Alicia says
Wow how cool! I’m born, raised, and still live in Western WA. Across the water from Seattle.:)
Jane says
Four kids here…all grown up.
One large Santa present, never wrapped, just in the living room with a name on a card. “Believe to receive a Santa gift”… so we never discussed if santa was real or not because if you didn’t believe, you didn’t receive.
Stockings for everyone Christmas morning, when you wake up. Don’t have to wait til everyone is assembled to look in your stocking. Typically craft and school supplies, toiletries, special sox and undies. Never candy.
Want, need and read presents from Mom and Dad. Little gifts from siblings, like crayons for the 4 yr old, a CD for the nearly teen (dating myself!), a new sippy cup for the baby, etc.
Lots of presents under the tree
Andrea says
great system and traditions — thanks for sharing!!
Chris K in Wisconsin says
Andrea, I don’t know if you follow the blog Clover Lane, but her post today made me think of you and your commitment to saying “no” to too much and not jumping into the “I’m just so busy” car. She has much the same philosophy as do you, and her kids range in age from 4-22.
http://www.memoriesoncloverlane.com/2017/12/christmas-guidance-for-moms.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+memoriesoncloverlane%2FjVNR+%28Clover+Lane%29
Andrea says
Yes, I love Clover Lane — Sarah and I email regularly 🙂 I want to be her “when I grow up”!
Margaret says
Just last week my 5 year old asked “what’s Santa?” Which i guess shows how little we have done the santa thing 🙂 When our older ones were first little we did do the gift thing. But the last couple of years we have planned an outing instead. We have all the “basic” toys and outings with a large family are expensive so this once a year trip is anticipated. The kids do receive gifts from their grandparents but always on a separate occasion than Chirstmas Day – to separate Jesus’ birth from Santa. And there’s always plenty of chocolate and candy to go around 🙂
Jen says
We are very much in the middle of paying off a huge educational loan debt while on 1 income, so we always keep it simple and frugal. Our children are the only grandchildren on both sides of a family and all grandparents are divorced baby boomers. Since all the grandparents love to give Christmas gifts, my kids get many presents from grandparents and a few from other members of our extended family. As the parents, we give our children no Christmas presents, but do prepare stockings which always have a few used books, a few quarters, some clementines, a candy cane, and some other foods like dried fruit, peanuts, chocolate coins. The last few years, we take the 3 children to dollar store or similar place to choose a gift for their siblings which we help them wrap. They still get plenty of thoughtful presents and we spend our “Christmas fund” in our budget on tree, special holiday food, hosting events at our house for friends and family, photo gifts, and other gifts for our own parents and siblings.
JJ says
Christmas Eve we drive around and look at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music. Then we come home and open up a new pair of pajamas and stocking gifts. Then we put them on and watch a Christmas movie. It is a lot of fun! And it is extra special, since our kids normally go to bed early.
Andrea says
that does sound like fun — simple AND fun!
Cheryl says
Our family does three “Santa” gifts (not including stockings) because Jesus received three gifts from the wisemen. This has meant that our kids really think about what they ask for and that they are not overwhelmed with too many gifts. Our kids always received presents from grandparents, and one from us, under the tree. We have always tried to keep birthdays simple. usually one “big” request, and a few small, along with just family and friends over for a small party. It has worked well for us.
Michelle says
THis seems to be going out of fashion…but we LOVE giving our kids gifts for Christmas!! It doesn’t take away the meaning of Christmas for our family or bring focus on the wrong things. It’s FUN and a celebration!!! We do find thoughtful gifts geared to their interests or to experience something new, but who wouldn’t. Books are always included because childhood is a wonderful time to foster a love of reading. We don’t feel that a grateful heart is ruined by gifts — quite the opposite!
Andrea says
I love this Michelle! thanks for sharing your perspective!
I actually really enjoy giving gifts to my kids too (i just don’t like storing all the extra stuff). It’s hard to give experience gifts to 2 and 3 years olds who just want toys, but we always seem to find a happy medium every year!
Michelle says
Haha, extra stuff. I hear you loud and clear. Another reason I have read your blog since the beginning. You helped me with that!!
Andrea says
I just stopped by a thrift store with Nora and James yesterday and we found SO MANY awesome games, slippers for Nora, church shoes for Simon, boots for James, mittens for James and Clara, and even a few fun toys that have been on the kids “want” list for a while now. Everything was an extra 50% off (I think I spent around $14 for a huge garbage bag of stuff) and it was so fun to let the kids pick things they wanted and just keep saying “sure we can get that” because it was only $0.50. However, the whole time, I was just thinking about all the stuff they will get from grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins in just a few weeks. Sigh… Oh well, it was fun to treat them — we can always purge later!
Michelle says
We won’t get to do it this year, but a fun experience gift for kids that age is the Polar Express train in Durango. I don’t know if there are things like that where you live but it sure is fun.
Rose says
Happy Birthday!!
Chris Martinelli says
I have done the want/wear/read/need but I added two. I also do Santa gave and homemade. As a single parent, I wanted to stress the 3 presents from the wiseman while still keeping the Santa tradition. The homemade is anything from blankets I crocheted to book marks to homemade rice bags. The read is always from the thrift store so we aren’t buying new. The wear could be pajamas, jackets, socks, or this year perfume/cologne. The big gifts are always under $50 so while it can add up by skimping on the other gifts Christmas isn’t too extravagant. This way my kids get two things they really want, one they need, new reading material, and something to wear. It has worked well for me for the last 10 years I have had to Christmas myself.
Andrea says
I love it — and it even rhymes 🙂
I’m not sure I’m crafty enough to do a homemade gift, but I love your extra 2 gifts each year!
Christine from The (mostly) Simple Life says
We do not-secret Santa with my husband’s siblings. There’s five of them, plus a few spouses, so we do that instead of buying something for everyone. We all know who has who, and ask for gift ideas. It’s not a secret, but it’s fun to get a nice gift for one person or couple instead of getting each person something little.
I’d love to make stockings more of a thing at our house, but it’s always an after-thought for me when I don’t think we should spend any more money, haha!
My husband is big on gifts, so we spend quite a bit on gifts for each other. We don’t spend much on ourselves throughout the year, so it’s fun to do it up a little 🙂
Ashley says
Happy birthday to Dave from a fellow December 7th-er!
Andrea says
yay! Happy birthday to you too!