As I mentioned last week, Dave and I will celebrate our 12 year anniversary tomorrow.
We don’t have big plans (we never do) and we won’t do gifts (we never do that either). We will simply carry on with our normal day-to-day activities, we’ll probably pull out the wedding album to show our kids, I’ll make us a nicer dinner after the kids are in bed, and we’ll silently cherish the fact that the last 12 years have been mostly happy, positive, lighthearted, and untroubled.
Truly, we have been very blessed… and we know it.
Although it’s often easy to take things like our health, our home, our family, and our finances for granted with thoughts like, “we work hard and we are good people, so we should be happy and blessed”, we know too many good people who work hard and still struggle with health issues, relationship troubles, financial problems, and more. It seems like they pick the “short straw” every single time and just can’t catch a break.
Of course, we all have our own trials, big and small, and the last 12 years definitely haven’t always been perfect and peaceful… but Dave and I certainly don’t have much to complain about.
As I was thinking back over the past 12 years, wondering what I might share with you all today, I kept coming back to the old cliché saying, “Laughter Is The Best Medicine” because I feel like so many of our family’s “problems” have been resolved with laughter.
A well-timed joke, making light of a difficult situation, sharing a silly memory, or laughing over something instead of crying or yelling — it’s amazing how quickly tension is resolved when you’re laughing (or even just smiling)!
Dave, Simon, and James are SO good at this — they make it almost impossible to really be angry with any of them because the minute they know they are in “trouble” they crack a joke, give me a silly smile, or find something humorous to focus on instead.
Nora and I aren’t as good at laughing off a bad or difficult situation — but we’re taking notes and getting better! 🙂
Of course, humor doesn’t always solve all issues — and there have been plenty of times we’ve had to discipline our children or hash out an argument between the two of us, but that’s just real life (and I don’t expect real life to be silly or fun all the time!)
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I know time does NOT heal all pain, and “relational baggage” is definitely a challenge in so many families — but my encouragement for you today, this weekend, this summer, and moving forward is to look for ways to bring laughter and humor into your days.
If your child spills something (and it’s legitimately an accident) search for a humorous response instead of anger or disgust.
If your spouse forgets something (again), make a joke out of it and move on.
If your friend says something hurtful, brush it off, change the subject to something more positive, and assume they were having a bad day.
If another driver cuts you off on your way to work, let it go and be thankful you have a job to drive to in the first place!
And yes, I definitely know how difficult (often impossible) it feels to choose those types of reactions instead of the more common anger, annoyance, resentment, etc.
But I promise, YOU will benefit from a more positive reaction – as will the other person/people involved.
Laughter is so often the best medicine… I’ve witnessed it time and time again in my own life and with my own family.
I am forever grateful to Dave and his ability to effortlessly bring laughter and lightheartedness into our home, for his calm and patient demeanor, and for his never-ending love and devotion to our family.
It is the best gift he could give me this anniversary.
Cheers to 12 years… and counting!
More Anniversary Posts:
5 Years — With a recap of years 1-4
6 Years — We celebrated at his brother’s wedding!
7 Years — A hilarious family photo shoot where Nora would not cooperate (shocking!)
8 Years — Also, 8 of our favorite free or frugal date ideas
9 Years — Why the quest for “fair” can ruin relationships
10 Years — My thoughts on dream weddings, date nights, and a decade with Dave
11 Years — An explanation of why we waited to go on our honeymoon
Donna G says
I can honestly say that nearly five years after his passing, I still miss my husband’s smile the most. It’s also the thing that people say they remember about him. And he had the ability to make me smile even when I was super mad. I am blessed to have been his wife for 25 years, and to have known him for nearly 30!
Happy Anniversary to you and Dave!
Andrea says
Awww… so sweet — he sounds like great man. Sorry for your loss Donna!
Julia says
Happy anniversary to you both! I agree that laughter and in general a good sense of humor does wonders for making life a little easier. My husband and I will celebrate our 8th anniversary next month (and 10 years together in Sept!), and silliness has been a pillar of our relationship. Especially during those hard times. Wishing you many more years of love and laughter!
Andrea says
Thanks Juli! And happy anniversary to you too!
barb says
Happy Anniversary you two!! Having laughter in a marriage is definitely a must!!! Life is too short to always be angry or pouting about something! On a different note, i have been getting so many ads in your blog between your writings which I never had before :(( I know others were “complaining” about it before, but I haven’t seen a change for improvement yet.
Andrea says
Thanks Barb!
Yes, sorry for the ads — I have a new ad network and I’m still tweaking things. There will most likely continue to be ads within my posts — but hopefully people will just be OK with scrolling past them!
Kim says
Happy Anniversary! Laughter is indeed a good thing and helpful in dealing with life!
Andrea says
exactly! Thanks so much Kim!
JoDi says
Wishing you the happiest of anniversaries! Thnaks for sharing your lovely family with us for so many years. Very wise words in this post!
Andrea says
Thanks so much JoDi!
Catherine says
What a lovely post. Thanks for the reminder Andrea. We’ve just had our second child and are in the throws of the forth trimester. A little laughter can go a long way. 🙂
Catherine
Andrea says
congrats on the new baby Catherine! And yes, just keep plugging away — the 4th trimester is ROUGH!
JJ says
Happy Anniversary!!! Laughter IS the best medicine!!! One time we flew to California for a wedding. We got to the airport an 1-1/2 before our flight takeoff, but security was crazy long. We got to our gate right as they shut the plane door. We were upset but were super nice to the lady at the desk. We knew it wasn’t her fault. We explained that the wedding my husband was in was actually that day(learn from us not to fly on the event day!!!). We laughed and were super patient as she clicked away and got us a straight flight(our original flight had a layover). The lady behind us got crazy on her like it was her fault and made a dramatic scene banging on the door and screaming like an Oscar winning scene. That was actually funny, too! Haha! But being kind and nice literally paid. I should mention that our straight flight’s plane had a mechanical issue and couldn’t fly out. That same lady saw us get off the plane and arranged another flight. We didn’t make the wedding only because the shuttle van dropped us off after crazy long drives. Haha! But, we made the reception. And the food is the best part, right? Haha! Enjoy your celebration!!!
Andrea says
wow — that’s a crazy story. I definitely don’t think I would have been able to laugh my way through that day — but I also hate traveling!
You sure have a fun story to tell now though 🙂
Chris K in Wisconsin says
My mother-in-law always told me to ask myself if whatever happened would matter in 5 years. Spilled drink? no Muddy footprints on the floor? no Running into the street without looking both ways? absolutely!! Then those “absolutelys” were the things I would “dwell upon” with them and feel vindicated for feeling upset over. When my kids (to this day, now aged 39 and 45!!) complain about something I think is trivial, I always say “If that is the worst thing that happens today, it will be a good day!” Now, before I can even say it, they usually laugh and say it themselves.
Happy Anniversary!! ♡ We just celebrated our 46th last week and that is how we always celebrate, too. No gifts and usually dinner at home (or take-out from Culver’s!!)
Andrea says
good advice!
And happy anniversary to you too. We almost did Culver’s tonight, but opted for pizza at the pool instead, because the kids didn’t want to stop swimming 🙂
Rachel Sauder says
Happy Anniversary! We will be celebrating our anniversary tomorrow, also! #22 🙂 🙂
Andrea says
oh wow — congrats to you and your hubby too!
KJ says
Hi Andrea!
Thank you for a great post and such an encouraging message. As always I appreciate how honest, relatable, and real your posts are, but I especially needed this reminder as a recovering Type A personality. 🙂 You are so right! My two teenagers’ best memories are the stories they tell about times something went wrong and in the moment a funny twist or perspective was found. Those are the memories we treasure and that bond our family together 25 years of marriage later, not the times mom freaked out or stressed over something that a day, month, or years later were obviously trivial to the big picture.
Congratulations to you and Dave and many continued blessings to your beautiful family!
Andrea says
Thanks so much — and congrats to you on 25 years!
JoAnn C. says
Congratulations and Happy Anniversary, Andrea and Dave. Hope you have a good weekend. Stay cool. Thanks for this post.
Andrea says
Thanks JoAnn!
Sarah says
Happy anniversary!! You are an inspiration in so many ways.
My husband is also the calm and patient type who somehow finds a way to diffuse a difficult situation with a joke or a timely anecdote. After 15 years with him and two little boys, I am finally learning how to let go a bit more and relax into the laughter rather than being so serious.
I love this post. Thank you for the reminder to appreciate all we have and find the laughter in our days.
Blessings from NM
Andrea says
Gotta love those calm patient ones!
Summer says
I love the photo of you guys! Everyone smiling together!!! Practically impossible to catch. Good for you! Have a wonderful HOT weekend in the pool!
Andrea says
I love that photo! It’s from Simon 3rd birthday (which was almost a year and half ago!) Time flies!
We were in the pool today and have friends coming for a “pool party” tomorrow, Sunday and Monday!
Chris says
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Some good advice you shared! (A merry heart doeth good like a medicine…. Prov. 17:22) : )
Andrea says
Thank you Chris!
Deb says
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I love this post.
Andrea says
Thanks Deb!