Life gets simpler when we stop focusing only on what we need to do and start thinking about what we can intentionally stop doing. A “Don’t-Do List” helps you let go of obligations, expectations, and habits that add stress instead of value. This might just be the fastest way to create more peace, margin, and joy for you and your family.
Most of us are familiar with to-do lists… right?
We have grocery lists, chore lists, meal plans, errands, appointments, projects, and reminders filling our planners, calendars, and phones. If we’re not careful, life can often feel like one never-ending list of things that need our attention.
But what if one of the most freeing lists you ever made wasn’t another to-do list?
What if it was a Don’t-Do List?
A Don’t-Do List is exactly what it sounds like: a collection of things you’ve intentionally decided not to do.
These aren’t things you can’t do — they’re things you’ve thoughtfully chosen to stop doing because they no longer serve your priorities, your family, or your peace of mind in this season of life.
It may sound overly simple, but creating a Don’t-Do List can be one of the fastest, easiest, and cheapest ways to simplify your life.
Why You Need a Don’t-Do List
Many of us spend so much time figuring out what we should add to our lives that we rarely stop to ask what we should remove.
But remember, every “yes” requires time, energy, money, and/or mental space.
By intentionally deciding what you won’t do, you create room for the things that matter most to you.
Your Don’t-Do List gives you permission to stop chasing impossible standards and start living with more intention.
Related Reading: How to Evaluate The True Cost of Our Stuff
Ideas For Your Don’t-Do List
Everyone’s list will be different, and that’s exactly how it should be.
Also, keep in mind that a Don’t-Do List you make today will likely be very different than a Don’t-Do List you make next month or next year. Putting something on your Don’t-Do List for now does not mean you can’t ever do that thing again in the future. Nothing is permanent… so don’t stress about the future, and simply consider your current season of life when making your list.
Here are a few Don’t-Do List ideas to get you thinking:
- I don’t compare my home to homes on social media.
- I don’t apologize because my house looks lived in.
- I don’t feel obligated to attend every event I’m invited to.
- I don’t buy something simply because it’s on sale.
- I don’t overschedule our family calendar.
- I don’t answer every text immediately.
- I don’t keep my email open all day.
- I don’t keep clothes that don’t fit or that I never wear.
- I don’t cook elaborate meals every night.
- I don’t volunteer for everything.
- I don’t save every piece of children’s artwork.
- I don’t feel guilty for saying no.
- I don’t chase every decorating trend.
- I don’t expect perfection from myself or my family.
- I don’t spend more than I have available in cash.
- I don’t spend hours trying to organize things I really should declutter instead.
- I don’t let a few dirty dishes ruin my mood.
- I don’t believe every season of life has to look the same.
Notice that many of these aren’t about productivity at all — they’re about protecting your peace and sanity.
Start With What Stresses You Most
If you’re not sure where to begin, ask yourself a few simple questions.
- What consistently leaves you feeling exhausted?
- What do you dread doing?
- What obligations have you taken on simply because you’ve always done them or because you feel guilted into them?
- What expectations are you trying to meet that no one else is actually asking of you?
Certainly, there are some dreaded activities (laundry) that you will need to stick with for your home and life to function well, but many of your other answers to these questions may reveal things that belong on your Don’t-Do List.
Note: If laundry or other household chores are a huge stresser for you, consider these options to alleviate that stress.
Make It Personal
The goal isn’t to copy someone else’s lifestyle.
Maybe another mom loves decorating for every holiday, making homemade birthday cakes, hosting neighborhood gatherings, or coaching every one of her children’s sports teams.
That’s wonderful…for her.
But if those things leave you feeling overwhelmed instead of fulfilled, it’s perfectly okay to decide they aren’t priorities in your life right now.
Simplifying isn’t about doing less than everyone else.
It’s about doing what matters most to you.
Your List Will Change
As I mentioned before, your Don’t Do List is not permanently set in stone.
During the years when your children are young, you might decide not to host large family gatherings. Later, when they’re older, you may actually enjoy entertaining again.
When you’re caring for aging parents, working full time, welcoming grandchildren, or navigating health challenges, your list may look completely different than it did five years ago.
Or maybe (like our family) your summer season looks very different than your Fall, Winter, and Spring seasons due to sports, extracurricular activities, church functions, etc.
That’s not failure.
That’s wisdom.
Different seasons require different priorities.
Give yourself permission to adjust your list whenever life changes (even if this is every month).
Write It Down
Although you can certainly keep your list in your head, there’s something powerful about writing it down (you know I love a good paper list!)
Keep it in your planner.
Tape it inside a kitchen cabinet.
Save it as a note on your phone.
Put it on your bathroom mirror, so you see it first thing every morning.
When new opportunities, obligations, or purchases come your way, glance at your list before saying yes.
It can serve as a gentle reminder of the life you’re intentionally building.
The Benefits of a Don’t-Do List
When you simplify your own life, your family and friends benefit too.
You’ll likely have more patience.
More energy.
More margin.
More flexibility.
More time for conversations, family dinners, games, walks, and the little everyday moments that often become the best memories.
Your children and grandchildren also learn an important lesson: life doesn’t have to be packed full to be meaningful.
Sometimes the best gift we can give our families isn’t doing more.
It’s showing them that it’s okay to do less.
My Current Don’t-Do List
In this season of life (with 4 teen/tweens age children), these are a few of the things I intentionally don’t do.
- Crafts — aside from our digital photo books.
- Travel — we prefer to entertain at home instead.
- Holiday Decorating — it’s just been the Christmas tree and 1 box of decor.
- Skin Care — I don’t do much outside of Vitamin E oil and my DIY facewash.
- Date Nights — we go in the hot tub most nights, but don’t regularly go out.
- Spending more than we have — we use credit cards, but pay them off every month.
- Working outside the home — if I can’t do it from home with a flexible schedule, I’m not interested.
- Making Bread — I don’t do this in the summer… I’ll get back to it in the fall.
There are others, but this hopefully gives you an idea of where I’m at right now. All of this could easily change over the next year.
Final Thoughts
Your Don’t-Do List isn’t about laziness or lowering your standards.
It’s about making thoughtful decisions before life makes them for you.
Instead of asking, “What else do I need to add to my to-do list?”
Try asking: “What have I finally decided I don’t need to do for now?”
That answer might be the beginning of a simpler, calmer, and more joyful season!
What will you add to your Don’t-Do List?
andrea says
I just found your blog and love this post (funnily enough, i am andrea, married to a dave….) 🙂
Our summer has been insanely overscheduled. We just agreed that next year that baseball stays but volleyball goes. Likewise, i normally make lunches, but for the past month time and energy has not allowed so I’ve decided to not feel guilty about buying them a few times a week (till life settles down in a couple weeks, anyway). i still need to minimize my schedule some more, but the decision is there and it will happen as things naturally end and i consciously choose to not replace them with ‘something else.’
Andrea says
haha — crazy! Looks like our parents both picked good names for their kids 🙂
Stefani says
Amen! I am sooooo not a crafty person. I’ll bust it out every once in a while–like Halloween or an important school project, but even then, I keep it simple. “Vacations” are only to visit family. And with three kids from 3-8, we keep any outings simple, too. No crazy summer schedule drawn up here… just sprinkles of pooltime, parktime and a science museum thrown in. But really, I am sooooo glad to hear that someone else eschews date nights. My husband is also a teacher and I stay at home with my three kids (homeschooling), so just like you, we see each other A LOT, and we carve out time at home to do things together, rather than planning date nights every week.
Lizanne says
Your idea of a ‘don’t do’ list was an eye-opener for me, and well-timed, as I found myself complaining (again) this past week about not having time for this or that, not being able to make progress with certain goals, etc.. I have a somewhat long commute to a job I don’t like, which sucks a lot of energy out of me. I often will feel overwhelmed by my everyday to-do lists, so much that I can barely think about the larger picture to-do’s. However, this refreshing idea of a ‘don’t do’ list may be helpful in clarifying my priorities. Thanks to all for your great comments, and thanks Andrea, I really look forward to your posts!
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Lawn care. I always tried to do it until this year. My DH is allergic to grass. But I struggled and it looked awful most of the time. Then, two months ago, my DH had a seizure out of the blue and can’t drive for 6 months. That means all the stuff he did–running errands, getting groceries–I have to do too. So, lawn care went out the window. The lawn service is the best $80 a month I’ve ever spent. I hope to never go back. LOL
I don’t do much makeup either. Foundation and blush is about it. And my idea of cooking most of the time is to put beans, cheese, and sour cream in a tortilla and fry it. Nutritious, I know… but it keeps us alive. 🙂
Kathryn Bechen says
Great insight into a “don’t do” lifestyle Andrea! Wise too. I like your tips about no extensive grooming for gals. You’re so naturally
cute that you don’t need extensive grooming! I like your short haircut and the scarf adds some cute “chic.” 🙂
Sarah says
Love this post!
I have just recently began identifying my priorities, and while difficult it has been quite uplifting! Knowing what I want, and what I don’t really need, has been a life changer! I’m still in the process of working through it all, so this post came at a perfect time for me!
Thank you!
Lisa says
Oh you sound like me and my hubby we home body’s to love just being home with our family I can’t even sew love to can cook not a crafter just love my family we don’t do date nights either and Nora looks just like you she so cute!
Chris says
Your post really got me thinking about my own priorities! I realized over the last 1 or 2 years that apparently I am a HSP (highly sensitive person) who does not like loud or chaotic places or big events with hundreds of people, also I love to have some quiet time over the day or week for myself. For a long time, I felt guilty and boring about these traits but your post made me realize that this is just the way I am and that in order to be happy (and stay sane) I need to respect the way I am.
Paige says
I love this post. I love how real, and realistic, you are! You are totally relatable, and that keeps me coming back!
JoDi says
Love your “don’t do” list. I’m sure we all have one whether we’ve consciousky thought about it that way or not. My list is similar and different from yours, and it has changed through the years. One example is how I exercise. Belonging to a gym was on my don’t do list for years. I exercised at home and loved it, but now I have a gym membership and LOVE it. My interests changed and the type of exercise I love to do now is different than it used to be so gym membership is near the top of my DO list now. 😉
Dorie says
Loved this post. It was like someone was writing about me, thought there was something wrong with me that I didn’t think like most people. I am not crafty, i find i dont have the attention span for that type of thing. i abhor exercise (also have a good metabolism so far) but I don’t mind physical labor at all which feels like I’m accomplishing something whereas exercise bores me. I personally have no desire to travel, but who knows that may change as I get older. I really don’t enjoy doing hair or makeup (really aren’t we just dressing up to impress other women, men don’t notice when we change our hair or makeup). I do enjoy cooking, my family appreciated the food I prepare that is from scratch and healthy. I like to experiment to keep things from getting boring, my husband always jokes that we never eat the same thing twice. I think keeping life simple helps us to become closer, where are we focusing our energy?
Thanks I really appreciate this article!
Ginger says
Oh Andrea! Everything you said is so me. I used to say I was a crafter-wanna-be. Thought I needed some creative outlet. Turns out…I don’t. :). My last child is a senior and I have always kept a few “crafty” things in a drawer just in case of a school project and that is about to go bye-bye. I am low maintenance when it comes to appearance. Just the basics. Looove walking and hiking at our local nature preserve. I have made my life not busy by choice because my kids are about grown and I like just being home where it’s nice and quiet. We go out now and then but when we feel like it. I remember one time you said you didn’t listen to music in the car and I commented that “I didn’t either!” Peace and quiet. I am 50 and sitting in the yard having conversation with family and friends is close to perfect for me. Thanks for sharing. I enjoy reading your blog VERY much. Even though I am older and from Ohio I still think we could be friends. 🙂
Debby says
Another great post that once again convinces me we were sisters in another life. I too am a homebody. Love working on my house and yard. Will walk anywhere, but never run there. My husband and I do like occasional date nights, but that’s because our daughters are 15 and 17 and spend lots of time with their friends these days. We do love vacations, but with two girls headed to college pretty soon, those are pretty simple getaways. I don’t love clothes (although I do spend more than $1 a year haha) One time a friend came over and I showed her our recently painted and reorganized walk in closet. She asked me when I was going to put the rest of my clothes back in. They were already there and hanging. I don’t have a don’t do list per say. Just like things simpler.
Deb says
LOVED this post. I am terrible at crafting, our “vacations’ are always to Grandmas (but we live in a beautiful place in MT where others come to vacation), I would hate someone touching my feet and the idea of a stranger giving me a massage, yuck, but I do love cooking from scratch, especially baking. Date nights are fun but as with the messy house=happy children analogy, the date nights=happy marriage analogy also falls short. The key to all of life is balance, giving up what you don’t feel is necessary to free up the budget and calendar for what is necessary and important. We all make time for what we WANT to make time for and seem to find the money for what we put a value on. LOVE your honesty.
Vickie says
Bravo! Loved this post . . . ditto on crafts, love manis and pedis, however! At least pedis for sandal weather. You are an amazing young wife and mom, and it’s a breath of fresh air to read someone who understands and is comfortable in her own skin. Blessings!
Beth says
Andrea, I think you & I would get along great together. I couldn’t believe the similarities!
Sandra says
It`s great that you guys, Nora, have your routine down!
anne says
This is a great list. I can relate to a lot of your dont’s!
Diane says
Hi Andrea, I’ll be 64 and it’s nice to see you put into words your Don’t Do list. I tried a lot of crafts and I think most of the fun of it was buying, organizing and learning to do certain things, like scrapbooking, dried flower arrangements, making gift baskets, etc. However NOW I don’t want to do those things eventhough I have more time. I can’t be bothered with the storage of all those things and you can buy the items cheaper than what you can make them for IF you count your time.
I like to do short cuts for meals as well but every once in a while I think I’m “less than” if I don’t make something from scratch if I’m taking it to a church supper or someone’s house.
I’m proud of you that you have such self knowledge at your young age.
Like you, my husband and I do not like going to expensive restaurants but we will do a fine dining experience for special occasions. We just can’t justify spending that kind of money.
I won’t do camping in a tent ever again. I won’t do camping where there is no toilet and shower in the camper. I won’t do panty hose again.
Jenny says
Andrea, lately I’ve been kinda frustrated & down about things I don’t do or never get around to ( that other people spend lots of time & effort on). Maybe this blog was for me – as I read it a light bulb kind of came on for me! So, THANK YOU!!!
Melissa says
It is interesting to see the different ways people choose to NOT spend their time. For us, the do not do list is:
TV. My husband and I don’t watch TV. For years we didn’t even have signal going to our TV but then decided we should get that working in case we need it for some reason. So now we do have signal going to the thing but never use it. We keep the tv though because we do use it to watch the occasional dvd borrowed from the library.
Gardening. My husband and I both hate yard work. We live in a condo in Phoenix so lucky for us we have a tiny backyard and what little yard we do have is nothing but rocks. Yay rocks! Don’t get me wrong. Gardens are pretty…as long as they belong to someone else. Personally, I hate digging in the dirt.
Sporting events. Neither my husband nor I are sports fans so we don’t watch sports, don’t attend games, and don’t read about them.
Swimming. The condo we live in has a community pool, but we never go. Neither of us is very keen on the chlorine or having to slather on an inch of sunscreen in order to go.
Ironing. With both of us working, we choose not to iron. I only buy clothes that don’t need it and my husband takes his dress shirts to the cleaners. We donated our iron and ironing board to Goodwill some time ago because we just don’t want to use them! Downy wrinkle releaser is the only ‘iron’ I need! 🙂
Kalyn Brooke | Creative Savings says
Like you, fashion really isn’t on my to-do list. I wear sport shorts and tees almost everyday, except when I’m going to church. I do spend time doing my own pedicures, because I have this weird thing about unpolished and ungroomed toenails. 🙂
I enjoy doing crafts, but right now, most of them are still packed away because we will be moving again soon. Nor do I really have the time to pull everything out and work on a project.
And vacations? My husband and I love getting out and exploring, so those are a must.
Loved reading through your list!
Mama Murrey says
Since I am a writer, a blog seems like it would be a neat outlet and even a viable small business. But after toying with the idea a lot, I realized I don’t WANT to blog. I don’t want to take pictures of stuff I do. I don’t want to be obligated to post something regularly. I don’t want to obsess about numbers. I don’t want to learn computer stuff and deal with ugly comments and facebook and twitter and all that other stuff.
Another don’t do–taking lots of photos. If I take pictures, I have to do something with them. I don’t want to have to do something with them.
And another–volunteering and committees. I am on all of one committee at the moment. I got burned out doing a lot of work at church–flower beds, church newsletter, library. Now I’m determined not to have that many volunteer commitments again.
Aa. says
I never would’ve thought that you don’t like make up & Co, because you always look so nice and feminine! I myself don’t do manicure, pedicure or treatments for fun. Firstly because I cook almost every day and I think that no matter how good the nail polish is, it is not healthy to cook with it on my nails!
Also, I do at home my face treatments and I do have a lot of makeup supllies, but I only put enough makeup so it will make me feel better, not to seem anyone else. From time to time we go on dates, we don’t like spending time at our house only because it is kind of small and not really good looking (it is a rental studio and we are looking forward to moving out). If it happens to go on trips, they are close to our home and something not expensive. you are right, every person has it’s own do;s and don’ts, and that is ok, we all are different!
Patty@homemakersdaily.com says
Wow, Andrea! We sound like twins. I pretty much would have the exact same list except I do one craft – quilting. But while my girlfriends were having craft parties and making things and decorating for every holiday, I passed and just worked on my quilts.
And as far as photos, I gave scrapbooking a try and hated it. I store my printed photos in photo boxes. Easy. These days I don’t even print them.
Anyway, love your list because it’s my list, too! And I love my life.
KimH says
I dont know why you think you dont have a picture perfect marriage… I personally think you do!! Just because your marriage doesnt look like some of your other friends/bloggers/people you know, means nothing. It means you arent keeping up with the Joneses.. Girl, you ARE the Joneses.. 😉 Many people would love to have what you have.. Never forget that!
I think you guys are a beautiful family & you’re doing it all the right way too!
Blessings!
Melanie says
I SO enjoyed this post! It is great to see what a balanced perspective you have, and I could totally relate to everything except #1. (I love crafts, but I do have a lot of clutter from them and not enough time to do it!) You said it better than I could have put my point of view into words!
Thank you for reinforcing that it’s okay to be okay with not spending a ton of time and money in areas (dates, family outings, our appearance, etc.) that society says we should, and reminding me that it’s possible to ‘date my husband’ without necessarily going ‘on a date.’
Hmm, my don’t do list…that’s something interesting to think about!
Linda B says
I had quite a few Don’t-Dos while homeschooling our 4 children, and now that I’ve entered a new season of life, I’m able to rediscover some of those activities. And now I have a new list of Get-to-Dos for this new stage.
Don’t Dos for Me while I was Homeschooling/Raising 4 Children: Crafts, Shopping, Jewelry, more than the minimum of house-cleaning, volunteer work outside the home (including much at church) unless it was with the kids, home decorating, excessive grooming, socializing outside of anything that involved the kids or their activities. We also mostly had sports as Don’t Dos, with some exceptions, so that we could do a lot of music activities and strong academics for our children.
Empty-nester What I Get to Dos for Me: nap when I need it, eat better quality food, occasional dinner out with husband, hair cut and highlighted sometimes, read books of my choosing, occasional lunches out with a friend, volunteer work in the community and church, keep the house cleaner/more organized.
Andrea says
This made me smile because I bet my mom could have written this exact comment! You sound like you are “getting to do” many of the things she is “getting to do” now that all her kids are out of the house and she has a little time to herself (after 28 years). My parents are currently on an Alaskan Cruise… something they never would have done with the kids all at home!
Enjoy all your “get to dos” Linda!
Heather says
I literally laughed out loud at number 1! Thank you for posting this! I was just having a discussion with my mother about how much I used to love crafting – and then life happened & I have absolutely no interest in it anymore. It does take up a lot of space, time, and energy, and I’m with you – at this point in my life I’d rather be doing something else! She feels I should have a
“hobby.” It got me thinking – I honestly don’t have many, or even any, hobbies anymore – I guess I’d say that my time with pets, family, and fixing up our house are my hobbies.
I also really agree with you about cooking from scratch – at this point, after work & the commute it’s all I can do to get something quick & reasonably healthy on the table, and not liking cooking so much, I don’t see that “don’t do” changing possibly ever!
We do make time for vacations – both my husband & I have high stress jobs, so we treat ourselves once a year to a special trip – but that’s just our priority, along with my occasional pedicures with the girlfriends & stress-relief massages. It’s so interesting how other people live! Makes the world such a great place to be in 🙂
Great site Andrea – you really have motivated me so much to get my life & home in order like I never thought it could be! Thank you!
Andrea says
Thanks Heather! And I definitely think “fixing up your house” is a hobby. If not, then Dave and I don’t really have hobbies either 🙂
Olga's Flavor Factory says
I really enjoyed reading this post, Andrea.
You’re absolutely right, we all have 24 hours a day, and our lives are structures around our priorities. We have to choose what is most important to us and what we will spend time on and what we can do without.
I can relate to you on many of the things that you wrote about, especially the “extensive grooming”. (By the way, LOVE the way you called it.) Ha ha. I also don’t like shopping and I lose patience if I have to spend more than 10 minutes doing my hair and makeup.
Also, I don’t go to the gym. I love biking, swimming and walking, but only for fun. I always feel like the gym is too stuffy and boring. I’d rather run on a road with some scenery than on a treadmill.
Melissa says
Loved this! While I do enjoy pedicures, I am not one for makeup, a complicated hairstyle etc….and I too own 5 identicial shirts (and several pair of identical jeans and capris) that I wear ALL the time! We did not do date nights either…until the kids got older and it became impossible to talk without little ears picking up on every little detail. Thankfully we live close to my sister and her family and we are able to trade off date nights/babysitting each week. I am going to use this blog/list as permission to ditch those things (like crafts, cooking from scratch etc) that are causing me extreme stress and frustration in this season of raising our family! Thank you for posting, love your honesty!
Melissa says
I’m with you on Crafts – gah, I am awful at this. I can set the girls up to paint some things or do simple art projects, but I just do not have crafty skills. And my attempts at it just remind me of that. Date Nights – I think we used to feel the way you did. With small kids it just didn’t make sense to us to disrupt everyone’s schedule for a night out. Now that they’re older (10 and 5), we love dropping them with the grandparents so we can go on a motorcycle ride or out to quick dinner or even Christmas shopping without the kids. I think this one is sort of related to the stage your kids are in..although we don’t generally do movies or fancy dinners either, we use our “date nights” as a way to accomplish household things without the kids, which makes it go smoother. 🙂
Kathy says
I am so glad that God made us all different! I don’t like to exercise either but I have to do it because the older I get the things that use to work do not work any more, and even than it does not work all the time! I love doing crafts !
Lori says
I hear you, we all have to choose our time wisely (and I have 3 little kids, so my time is mostly kids and breast feeding), I just didn’t realize there were people who actually had “Don’t Do” lists and the things that were on them were things that I’ve always considered some of the most fun things in life (going to movies, planning a fun day at the zoo with our kids, dinner at a restaurant with my husband, dreaming as a family about a vacation we’d like to take, etc.). This was very eye-opening for me about how different people spend their time and what they prioritize for fun. We love to be at home, working on our home too, but I find we appreciate it even more after being out exploring the world a little. Very interesting and thanks for sharing your perspective!
Lori says
Sorry! One more thing…I don’t know that I’ve actually ever thought about the “Don’t Do’s” of our family, so I’ll have to be more conscious of the things that as a family we specifically choose not to put our time, money and energy towards. Obviously it would look quite different from the one above and both are super OK. 🙂
Andrea says
Thanks Lori! I do think you and your family will benefit from having some sort of “dont-do list” (and no, it doesn’t actually have to be written down)! It’s impossible to do it all all the time, so if you have your mental list of things you’re not willing to spend time, money, energy, and resources on, life is just simpler!
Lori says
This is so incredibly different from me…I enjoy crafting (and I don’t think of it as taking up space in my home because it’s something I enjoy and feeds my creativity), date nights with my husband are my most favorite thing of all (I absolutely love sitting down with my husband at a restaurant and talking without distractions or interruptions over a margarita. It’s FUN.), and over the course of my lifetime I’ve had many manicures, pedicures and massages (I like to feel fresh, polished and pretty). Additionally my job is helping people with their vacation planning, so that’s also a priority in our home as it’s the only way for my husband to get away from his job, etc. I honestly didn’t realize that people made “don’t do” lists that included things like NOT dating their husband, taking vacations or doing planned activities.
Andrea says
It does sound like we are quite different Lori, and that’s OK. I’m guessing your “don’t do” list would include many items that I do enjoy doing 🙂
Oh, and just to clarify, while I don’t make time for “Date Nights”, I DO make time to “date my husband”. During the summer, Dave and I are literally together 24/7 and we do tons of fun things together — we just don’t feel that we need to go out on traditional dates to do that.
Please don’t be offended by my list — it’s my list and it’s OK if yours would be different. The point is just that we all need to decide what things we will and will not spend time on otherwise we’ll go crazy trying to do everything in such a limited amount of time.
Lisa the Farm Lady says
Thank you for this post! I am pretty much the same way. Hubby & I love just hanging out here at home, usually with our teenage youngest son, and sometimes our two young adult kids come out to our place to hang. We always have a good time!
Just like you and Dave, we’re also happiest doing house stuff, puttering, and we rarely travel since I find that kind of stuff soooo exhausting!
I agree with you too about the extensive grooming (great way to phrase that, by the way!). One can be feminine without having to spend two hours a day in the bathroom to get gussied up…lol
So thank you again for this post; this Don’t-Do List hits the mark 100%!
claire says
Couldn’t agree more. Gardening and walking are free. People waste money on things that they could get and do for free. Love your blog and your practical approach to life.
Paulette says
Well, finally I find someone who has likes and dislikes similar to my own! How refreshing. Don’t like spending time or money on manicures/pedicures, shopping for clothes, don’t wear much jewelry, hate crafts, do enjoy staying home. Andrea, thank you so much for your honesty and being comfortable in your own skin!
Julie Spady says
Great post. My husband and i never did date nights either and we have been married 40 years. We just preferred taking our 2 daughters with us everywhere we went. It was a choice we made happily! Not everyone understood or agreed with us! I love your blog and the peeks you give us into your life!
Jennifer says
I think your’e so right about this! I usually think about these things in terms of living within limits, i.e. that there will always be finite amounts of time, energy, money, space and attention and that will almost always preclude SOMETHING that we might otherwise do.
While I was doing my masters degree, one thing on my ‘don’t do’ list was travelling. I did go visit my family and might club together with friends to drive somewhere for a day, but otherwise I didn’t (like my friends) go spend a week somewhere or take a full-blown vacation. I simply couldn’t afford it. My honeymoon four years later was about the first ‘vacation’ I had after that!
I also don’t always cook 100% from scratch and don’t go to extreme measures to find local produce. I know lots of people make their own granola, yogurt, bake bread, and buy from farmers’ markets – and I would actually love to do those things, but I simply don’t have the time or the resources to do it right now.
In general I’ve often foregone certain hobbies and weekly commitments because of the time I spent at church – several hours a week if you think about it. At a point I realised that I couldn’t do as many weekly dance classes, musical groups, or walking groups as my friends might, because I spent an equal number of hours doing church-related activities.
But, actually, making these ‘don’t do’ decisions, really makes life easier and less angst-ridden, because it’s much easier to say ‘I don’t do ___’ and have it as a blanket policy, rather than always having to decide between things or wonder ‘Should I?’
This changes in different phases of life, too. When things change, I find it helpful to sit down and reassess, not only what my priorities are, but also what my priorities aren’t!