Living intentionally has many benefits…
- Less stress
- Better relationships
- Better health
- More confidence in making decisions and setting boundaries
- More alignment with your core values and beliefs
To name a few.
One unexpected benefit I’ve enjoyed, after years of striving to live intentionally, is how quickly I can pivot and make changes when an area of our home, family, or life isn’t functioning as well as it could be.
It might be that a space in our home feels too crowded or simply isn’t serving our family well in our current season of life — so we declutter, reorganize, or swap rooms (you know we love a good room swap!)
Maybe our schedule feels chaotic and a bit too full — so we reevaluate our priorities and make changes accordingly, even if it means saying “no” to something good.
Maybe our family life feels strained for whatever reason.
Instead of simply dealing with the discomfort, suffering through the stress and strain of overcommitment, or complaining about how disorganized/busy/frazzled I feel, I have the time, energy, and confidence to take action and make the necessary changes immediately.
Whether it’s rearranging the kitchen pantry so the kids can reach their own school snacks, adding new email subfolders to clean out my inbox, changing up our laundry routine, saying no to opportunities that don’t align with our current values, implementing a new morning routine as the kids get older, or moving furniture around so our spaces function well for our family…
I love being intentional about the ways I run our home, our family, and our lives in the midst of so many ever-changing dynamics.
I remember back before we had children, so many people made comments like:
- “Just wait until you have kids, you won’t be able to keep your house clean.”
- “Once you have kids, you’ll look back and wish you would have changed your priorities.”
- “You’ll never be able to do ___________________ after the kids start coming.”
And then after having kids, I’d get comments like:
- “That will never work once your kids get older. “
- “It will be harder to stick with your digital photo books as you add more children.”
- “Just wait until you have teens in the house… you’ll never be able to get to bed early.”
- “You’ll need to do laundry every day if your kids start playing sports”
- “Why would you renovate your home that way… you’ll just have to change it when the kids are older?”
- “Your kids are missing out on experiences because you don’t travel with them.”
- “You’ll regret having a pool when your kids move out.”
SPOILER ALERT… I actually agree with most of those comments!
Our home IS messier now than before having children — but I’ve also implemented various systems that allow the kids to help keep things relatively neat and organized most of the time.
There ARE things we no longer do now that we have 4 kids — but, we do other things instead (children’s programs at church, family fun night at school, and craft days at the library).
We HAVE changed our sleeping routines and the layout of our home as our children have grown older — but I’d say these changes have always felt fun and exciting for me (especially swapping bedrooms)!
It IS more difficult to keep up with my digital photo albums — but I make the time because the kids love them. If I need to drop them in the future, I’ll worry about it then.
It’s quite possible that we WILL start to travel more now that our kids are older… in the meantime, we all love being home and the kids know that we’re always game to have friends and neighbors over!
And about the pool (seriously, you don’t know how often I get these types of comments)… we’re just going to enjoy the pool for the next 15 years while our kids ARE still home. We’ll worry about what to do with the pool when the kids actually move out!
This is real life, my friends!
Changing and tweaking and re-doing and reevaluating does not mean we did something wrong or messed up the first time around… it simply means we are sensitive to our CURRENT needs and willing to adapt to the inevitable changes that happen over the course of time.
Yes, it takes a bit of extra effort to swap bedrooms, rearrange the pantry, adjust to a new morning routine, find the best work/life balance for my current season, or admit that my beloved laundry schedule needs an update… but I can literally feel the tension, stress, and angst melt away as I tweak and change and alter various parts of our home, schedule, and life in an effort to simplify and prioritize what we want to prioritize FOR NOW (not forever.)
Ahhhh…
I wish there were a 5-step process to enjoy a slower, more intentional lifestyle — unfortunately, there’s not.
It just takes time, practice, and consistent effort.
Boring, I know…
But it’s worth it!
There’s no need to fix something that isn’t broken… but when you feel the angst and tension rising in your home, your schedule, and your life, I encourage you to take a step back and consider a change you could make to alleviate some of the pressure.
It might be a small change like bumping bedtime up 30 minutes so your mornings aren’t so rushed. Or it might require a bigger life change like moving, quitting your job, or switching to a different school.
Whether you’re single, married with 5 kids, or a newly retired empty-nester, there are countless benefits to intentionally stewarding your time, energy, and space — a simpler, slower life being one of my favorites!
Shelly Smith says
I agree and I’m always blessed by what you write and how you think about things. Thanks for sharing!!
Candace Herrod says
Can you adopt me? haha
Julia says
Thanks for sharing your perspectives! It’s so encouraging to remember life has many different seasons, and we really do have the freedom (and responsibility!) to do what works best for us and our families. I have an almost 3-year-old, and a 1.5-year-old…undoubtedly the way I manage and arrange our home will change. But I have to live in and enjoy the present setup for what it is, and not spend too much time thinking of the “what-ifs” down the road. Adaptability and contentment are two qualities I see you exemplify (among many)—thank you so much for all you share with us. It’s such a blessing to me!!
Andrea says
Thanks Julia! What a wonderful compliment — I’m honored you see the qualities of “adaptability” and “contentment” in my life. That’s so encouraging to read!
Kate says
Not having an intentional life and just “winging it” aren’t better or worse. It’s subjective to the family. Which is why I love your posts. You speak to your family. It’s more work to plan intention, but I believe it’s also more work to chaotically wing it for others. There’s a difference in planning with flexibility and oveeplanning with rigidity. You have seemed to reach a balance for your family and it works. It works well for children as it creates consistency and structure all the while teaching them how to adjust. I love it!
Many things we do are temporary and require adjusting as children grow. It’s obsurd to me to think not to do something because of adjustments. Some people choose Disney, others believe it’s all hype. Some live camping; Others, water parks. It’s the joy of life that we get to make our own lives what we wish.
Andrea says
This is such a lovely way to think about different ways of living life! Thanks so much for laying it out there like you did — I love it!
Heather B says
Have you changed from your twice a week laundry routine? If so I’d love to know what your new laundry routine is, I have been following a simialr routine to you for 3 years and it works great, but my kids are only 6 and 3.
Andrea says
I’m still doing laundry twice per week — just on different days now. But the different days are really messing with the kids! They have been so programmed to have their laundry in the basket on Tuesday and Friday mornings that they can’t remember to make the switch to different days! We’ll get there!
Sandy says
Seriously on the pool comments?! I think some people are just pool haters and I don’t think you’ll regret it one single bit! My husband and I put an INGROUND pool in our backyard when our youngest graduated high school! Some of our neighbors thought we were insane! We had wanted to put one in when the kids were younger but with Christian Ed to pay, we could never justify the cost and an above ground pool wasn’t an option due to neighborhood by-laws. Fast forward about 20 years with landscaping that needed to be redone (retaining walls collapsing) and it became a ‘now or never’ decision on a pool so we took the plunge, literally! We knew we planned to remain in our home for 15+ years and also wanted something fun for our kids/grandkids. Six years later we haven’t regretted it one single bit! Different strokes for different folks, I say. Keep doing YOU and what works for YOUR family! 🙂 P.S. Happiest of birthdays to precious Clara!
Heather says
My husband snd I are in the same boat. We have a 16 and 14 year old and are putting in a pool next year as I grew up having one. My parents live on a lake so we have the best of both worlds. People think we are crazy also but we are within 7 years of paying the house off and plan to stay here and hope to someday have the grandkids at our house!
Andrea says
oh wow — yes, the best of both worlds! We’re not really “lake” people, but I can see the benefit of having both options!
Fran says
Wishing Clara a very happy birthday ❤️ You are amazing
Sheila says
My first comment ever after reading your blog for about 8 years! This post must have really resonated then! I like the message, but find it hard to make changes – I find it emotional to change for some reason. Silly, I know. I hope there is going to be a post about your new laundry routine!
Andrea says
yay — welcome to the comments, Shelia! You’re in good company 🙂
Change is definitely hard for me (especially big changes) but changing up a closet or a routine doesn’t have the same sense of emotion for me.
As for the laundry — I previously did it every Tuesday morning and Friday evening — it worked PERFECTLY for our family for years and years. Now that Tuesday mornings are pretty busy for me, I needed to switch… so I’m doing it Monday mornings instead and then Thursday afternoons/evenings.
As silly as it sounds, this switch has honestly been hard for me (and for the rest of the family)! The kids knew to make sure they had EVERYTHING in the laundry by Tuesday morning or Friday evening, and we went into the weekend with everything clean.
It’s only been a few weeks with the new system so I’m still tweaking things — we’ll get used to it eventually!
Carol Lorette says
I enjoy reading your blogs and the way you and your family live life the way you feel is the best for this stage of your life.
As a wife, mother of 4, grandmother of 8 and great-grandmother of 4, I remember all the changes I have had in my life and I have learned so much from you about living a simpler life.
It is such a great feeling to declutter and get things out of our home and not keep things we do not need or use. Thank you for that.
I also want to wish Clara a very Happy 4th Birthday.
Andrea says
wow — great-grandmother! Impressive 🙂
I’ll pass your birthday wishes along to Clara! Thanks!
Lindsey says
I appreciate your attempts to live intentionally and your willingness to share your thoughts and experiences with us. Thank you!
Andrea says
Thanks Lindsey 🙂
JoDi says
Our neighbors on one side have been empty-nesters since we moved in 8 years ago, and their pool gets tons of use. Their kids come over with the grandkids, and they have gatherings with friends frequently. Now, one of their kids has bought house and the whole family is continuing to enjoy the pool!
The people telling you that you’ll regret the (completely removable) pool in 15 (!!!) years remind me of people who live in a house for 25 – 30 years and never update or renovate it in any way then spend a bunch of money redoing everything to sell it! What???? Why on earth wouldn’t you do that while you live there and enjoy it?!? The first thing we did when we moved into our 1980’s era house was started redoing one room after another to suit our current needs. Even if it was just paint, it made a huge difference. We even combined 2 bedrooms into 1 so we could have an ensuite and walk-in closet. Will it affect resale someday down the line? Maybe, but we didn’t buy the house to “store” it for the next family to enjoy; we bought it to enjoy it ourselves for as many years as we live there, and I enjoy my master bath and roomy closet every day!
Andrea says
That’s great to hear — I love knowing that there are “older” people who enjoy having a pool!
And yes, I agree with the home renovations – we’re so glad we were able to do ours when our kids were young so we could enjoy it for years and years. That said, I know people who TRULY don’t care about what their home looks like and don’t want the hassle of living through a renovation (they don’t even want to paint).
It doesn’t make sense to me… but I guess it’s not my house!
Christina says
We are brand new empty nesters, and my husband retired last year…. AND we have a pool! We love the opportunities it presents us to MOVE while cleaning and maintaining it, not to mention the kids come back and we have had adult parties by the pool more this past season. It is in the ground though and it would be pretty costly to actually remove it, not that we plan to! We love it still! It got used more this year than any years the children were living at home!
I just love your perspective and of course, your continual adaptability. I feel that’s one of our greatest strengths… continuing to embrace change, because change is ALWAYS around the next corner!
Andrea says
Congrats on being brand new empty nesters and on retirement! How fun 🙂
I’m thrilled to hear you still enjoy your pool — we’re hoping that will be the case with us too!
Sylvia says
You will enjoy the pool, even after the kids have left home. We are retired and put up a pool, we love it. Our grandchildren and kids enjoy it when they stay with us. It’s very relaxing after a day spent working in the yard.
Andrea says
wow — good to know! and yes, we love hopping in the pool after doing yardwork!
Diana says
If the people who made those comments actually knew anything about you, they’d know that you will absolutely figure out how to adapt when things change in the future and that their words mean nothing 🙂 I can tell that just from reading what you write! (And this post explained that very well, too.)
Also, specifically regarding the pool: so you should NOT get something that will bring you happiness and joy for 15 YEARS (!!) because of what to do with it at the end of those years?! That’s ridiculous. I’m glad you got the pool!
I appreciate your thoughts. I’m extremely slow at adjusting to changes in routine. It takes me weeks to notice what’s off, and weeks more to come up with a solution. And then I implement it and it works great 🙂 I will try to be more proactive at thinking up solutions earlier!
Andrea says
I don’t think it’s bad if you’re “slow” to adjust as long as you are in the process and not completely stagnant (or refusing to change). If you eventually implement something and it works, then your end results are the same (just a little longer in the making!)
Diana says
Right, it does eventually work out. But in the waiting there is chaos and stress that we wouldn’t live in if I figured it out earlier. 🙂 Maybe I have a higher chaos tolerance and it takes me longer to hit my “breaking point” which is the spur to figure out a change? I don’t know 🙂
Andrea says
oh for sure — waiting is always hard, no matter what! I remember when Nora didn’t sleep… ever! It would have been exponentially easier to get through those 3 years if we knew that after she was 3 she would magically start sleeping!
JJ says
Happy 4th Birthday to Clara!!! She is adorable!!! You have great discernment when it comes to when and how to switch things up. I appreciate that you share your life to help others! Where did you get the frames next to the measuring board?
Random side note: I bought the owala water bottles you suggested in your last favorite things post. Such a game changer!!! When I wake up and still have ice cold water on my bathroom sink, it is a pleasant surprise. This will save us way more than we paid for them, since we had been buying bottled water. Thanks so much!!!
Andrea says
Yay for the water bottle — yes we still LOVE ours too (especially ice cold water in the middle of the night!)
The frames were from Michael’s craft store YEARS ago!
JJ says
Awesome!!! Thank you!!!
Mitzi A Roberts says
Life becomes simple and peaceful when you become an emptynester, but how I do miss a full nest at times.
Andrea says
I believe it! there are times when I long for peace and quiet, but I know the time will go quickly, so I just enjoy the quiet when they are sleeping at night and the “chaos” when they are awake during the day!
Lisa says
I LOVE this post! Life just works better taking care of current needs and being flexible for the future. No need to worry about the future now! And wow … I don’t know why people feel the need to say anything negative about ya’ll having a pool! It’s obvious your kids love it and are making happy memories. Again – no need to worry about the future! I appreciate your posts. 🙂
Andrea says
I think we can do our best to “plan ahead” within reason (you know I’m always going to be meal planning!)… but we don’t need to “worry” about what might or might not happen in the coming months and years.
And yes, we love the pool — possibly Dave even more than the kids, if that’s possible!
Lisa says
Absolutely! I LOVE planning and thinking of the future and working towards goals. But we HAVE to remain flexible for the present. And worrying for the future just sucks out emotional energy. Ha! That’s great about Dave! See – he will still be happy yall have the pool when the kids are grown! 🙂
Andrea says
Yes, I’m positive Dave used the pool more frequently than any of the kids — he was constantly hopping in, then doing yard work, hopping in, then washing the car, hopping in, then going for a run. He loved having the pool!
Anna says
People amaze me, it’s like they expect everyone to know exactly how their life should play out and make decisions based on that “imagined” outcome. When does life actually work like that
It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally learned how to embrace what actually works for me and my family now and quit worrying about how my decisions might change in a year or 10. It’s so freeing!
Andrea says
I think it’s human nature to want to know everything we possibly can about the future — we don’t like unpredictability. I suppose I can relate to that a bit 🙂
Like you, I’ve really learned well how to embrace what our current needs are, knowing full well that those needs WILL change eventually and we might have to “undo” some of the things we are currently doing. That’s life!