As women, our natural tendency is to do all the things for all the people we love… which is great! However, it’s OK to take a breath and consider our own needs and desires for a minute.
Not in a selfish way — but in an “I’m going to be gentle with myself so I can pour into others even more” kind of way. Let me help you get started!
So this Valentine’s Day, instead of sharing cute Valentine’s craft ideas, decorating ideas, gift ideas, recipe ideas, or other ideas that take time, effort, energy, money, and a decent amount of planning ahead, I thought I’d share 14 simple ways we can show OURSELVES a little extra love.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
1. Prioritize rest.
I’ve always made sleep a priority… although it was a lot easier before having kids!
I rarely get a full 8 hours these days, but I am still very conscious about when I go to bed and when I wake up. I’m also aware of how tired I feel throughout the day and will read or rest for 15 minutes if I feel extra tired.
I almost always enjoy a Sunday afternoon catnap, and Dave and I both read for about 15 minutes every night before bed (it sounds like such a small thing, but I really look forward to reading in bed each night and I think I sleep better because of it.)
I know getting more sleep is not always possible, depending on your season of life, but I do think there are many ways to prioritize “rest” throughout the day even in really hard seasons (here are a few tips if you’re totally exhausted) and it’s such a simple and free way to show yourself some love!
2. Drink more water.
Water is my beverage of choice, so I do drink A LOT of it each day (my goal is at least 100 ounces per day).
If you don’t naturally enjoy water, you might try adding lemon or other citrus fruits to your water — or even buying sparkling water or flavored waters as special treats.
There are so many benefits of drinking more water, it sort of feels like a no-brainer — and such a simple way to show yourself some love!
3. Treat yourself.
No, I don’t think you should go on a lavish shopping spree — in fact, you don’t even need to spend any money to “treat” yourself.
You could invite a friend over to hang out for an afternoon or go for a walk with a neighbor. You could watch a movie in the middle of the day or finish a really good book.
You could also grab a fun lunch or coffee from your favorite place or enjoy a special dessert or sweet treat at home.
Whatever the case, an out-of-the-ordinary treat is super fun to look forward to, and a great way to boost my mood!
4. Stretch and breath.
I’ve never been the type to do regular exercises, but (thanks to my restless legs) I try to do several minutes of stretching each morning and evening.
I’ve also been doing daily breathing exercises through the Every Mother program for several years now (it totally healed my abdominal separation!)
With just a few minutes I can prioritize my own health and well-being from the comfort of home.
5. Unplug.
Go offline for one day each week (or even a half day).
Keep your phone in a drawer for part of the day.
Remove social media from your phone (and sign out of your accounts).
Technology is great… to a point. Then it becomes a hinderance and distraction. Don’t let it become a distraction!
6. Wash your face every night.
I don’t wear much makeup (usually just mascara and bronzer) but I always wash my face before I go to bed every night…. always!
It’s bad for your skin to leave your makeup on and it can’t be great for your pillow either!
If you’re looking for a VERY simple face routine, try the oil cleansing method of “cleansing” your face. Dave and I have been doing this for almost 15 years now and we both love it.
It’s easy, it’s very frugal, and it leaves your skin feeling amazing in just a few minutes.
7. Create 1 healthier habit.
Stop making giant goals or resolutions that feel overwhelming and are almost impossible to stick with.
Instead, create one small healthier habit and work at it until it sticks (here are a few of my ideas from past years).
Fun Fact: I’ve flossed almost every day since 2017 (after a lifetime of NEVER flossing!)
8. Give yourself a compliment.
Society has such high standards for women… and frankly, we are all too hard on ourselves.
If you’re looking for a simple way to instantly give yourself a little boost, look in the mirror and give yourself a genuine compliment — one you might never admit outloud!
Maybe you have great eyes or great legs. Maybe you love your freckles or your curly hair. Maybe you feel like you’re an amazing mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, etc. Maybe you are the best at your job within your company.
Whatever the case, enjoy the compliment (and give yourself another one tomorrow!)
9. Watch what you watch (and read).
I don’t read or watch anything with violence or abuse. I also intentionally stopped reading and watching the news years ago (except The Pour Over!)
I worry less, I stress less, and I sleep better — TOTALLY worth being “out of the loop” with current events.
You don’t need to go “cold turkey” but do start paying attention to how you feel after reading or watching certain things. And if it’s causing negative reactions, just stop!
10. Give yourself a free-pass.
Were you late for your meeting this morning (again)? Did you forget the special project for your kid’s school? Did you put that birthday card in the mail several days too late? Are you without a plan for dinner tonight (or the next night, or the next night)? Did you let your kids watch TV all afternoon because you were too tired to play with them?
We all have bad days, we all get sick, we all forget important deadlines and meetings, we all are short-tempered with our spouse or our children at times, we all regret decisions.
Today, give yourself a free pass to start over… and remember, tomorrow is a new day!
11. Say “no” to one thing you no longer love doing.
Even after years of intentional practice, it is still very difficult for me to say “no” to requests for my time, talents, money, and other gifts.
But I force myself to do it regularly (and it’s getting easier). In fact, I just said “no for now” to a request for my time last week.
If you feel like you’re running on fumes or if you just need a change of pace, think through your daily and weekly responsibilities and choose one thing to say “no” to today. (Here are 99 ways to say no, if you need a little help!)
12. Bring fresh flowers into your home.
The kids and I bring fresh flowers into our home on a regular basis from May through October, but even during colder months, places like Aldi and Trader Joe’s sell very inexpensive potted plants and fresh flowers.
Even dried flowers can bring a little extra joy to your day.
13. Light a candle.
I usually only light candles during the holiday season — but every once in a while, when I want our home to feel extra cozy, I’ll light one “just because” and it always boosts my mood a bit.
It’s so simple, it takes 3 seconds, but it can make a big difference in my day!
14. Smile.
Look in the mirror and give yourself a genuine smile today.
Or, smile at the next child you see — I can almost guarantee they’ll smile back and you’ll feel just a little bit better about yourself and your day!
There are dozens of other simple ways to show yourself a bit of extra love, but we’ll stop at 14 for today.
I’d love it if everyone left one more idea in the comments!
What are a few SIMPLE ways you show love to yourself?
Suzanne says
Take a short walk outside during your work day, to feel and breathe the fresh air, move your body, and reset your mind.
Andrea says
great tip, Suzanne! I’m a huge fan of walks!
Maria says
Great post, Andrea! I appreciate your no-nonsense, down-to-earth and simple ideas that make every day life much more uncomplicated and fun. I especially liked #9. The one thing I do that helps me stay focused for the day and less stressed is that I start the day by reading scripture, praying and then exercise. As many of your readers have already mentioned reading your blog always is always a treat as the ideas you present are always so simple, fun and doable.
Alicia says
We have so much in common, Andrea! I also don’t ever watch the news, and I don’t use any social media because both cause me so much anxiety its just not worth it-or healthy. Also I really resonated with so much in this post. We just found out we are pregnant with our FOURTH (!!) baby! We haven’t told anyone yet, as we are planning to wait until after my first appointment. But I am in a position where I know I’m going to have to decide to quit my job- a job i enjoy, is flexible, and has been good to me the past 5 years. However, i just know for us with 4 kids, for our family’s situation and needs, I need to be home full time. It has been such a hard decision, and I do worry about what others will think when we announce and especially when I have to quit my job (given they have come to really count on me there!), but (as my husband always reminds me!) We have to do whats best for our family. Anyway, this post really solidified whats been running through my head the past few weeks. Thank you for reminding me that I’m not the only one who feels this way, in regard to pretty much every point you made! 🙂
Rhonda says
Ha, I was wondering if you still have a Grove membership (after they changed from ePantry). Guess so! And I do also think their candles are pretty great. They seem to burn down so evenly and are worth their cost.
Andrea says
yup — I do! I’m actually going to do a promotion with them in March (yay for free Grove products!)
I get all our diapers and wipes (and lots of other things) from Grove every month. It’s SO handy!
Meredith says
I feel the same way about those crime/drama tv shows. They give me anxiety so I stopped watching them many years ago. I also skip the news for those same reasons. As they say, Ignorance is bliss! I only watch a few sitcoms & those sappy love story Hallmark movies.
Andrea says
oh yes, gotta love those Hallmark stories! Too bad we don’t get that channel (however, I can find some of the movies on Netflix!)
Michelle says
I loved this post for the holiday and all the sweet ideas. And the last one especially. What cute kids!!
I’ve started painting my nails and using the Essie gel topcoat. I finally found something that works more than a few days and it makes me feel less like a frazzled mom to have a manicure.
My oldest started back at school and I am celebrating with naptime for myself while my youngest naps.
Anne says
What a lovely post for Valentine’s Day. All of the comments made me smile.
Andrea says
Well good — then you got your smile in for the day 🙂
Bridget says
Best post ever! It is the little things that make a happy life, not the big trips or purchases.
Andrea says
yes! I’m sure many people would not agree… but I would definitely rather have lots of little things every day than a big expensive trip!
Angela says
I’m glad I’m not the only who who chooses not to watch the news! My husband tends to think it’s a little immature or irresponsible of me to not stay informed, but it makes me a happier person! : ) I’d be interested to know what “lighter” books you’re enjoying reading – so many books these days are a little on the darker side, and with as absorbed as I can get into a book, I don’t like to be absorbed into a dark place!
I also agree that reading your blog for a few minutes each morning is a nice little inspiring treat to myself! And I cannot wait for flower season – I, too, always cut bouquets of flowers from my garden in the summer and enjoy sharing them with friends. It’s so much fun to make arrangements with whatever is in bloom throughout the season!
Andrea says
Thanks Angela 🙂 I’m glad you enjoy my blog!
And yes, I’m very anti news right now. It’s all so negative and if there’s something really important, Dave just tells me 🙂
Candis says
I concur with Ann. I read your blog as a daily treat and its another way I show myself love by choosing to have a more simplified organized life. Thank you Andrea! 🙂
Andrea says
Thanks so much Candis! Choosing to live a more simplified life is definitely a great way to show love to yourself!
Ann says
I take time to read your blog! A special treat 5 days a week!
Andrea says
aww… thanks Ann!
Roxanne says
I, too, do not watch the news or any of those crime-drama shows… whatever anxiety I had before was exacerbated by having kids, so now I stick to happy things like HGTV, where the only drama there is what color will they paint the kitchen cabinets 🙂 An evening of House Hunters and a bowl of ice cream while my husband grades quizzes on the couch next to me puts me in my happy place!
Andrea says
haha — you sound like my kind of lady! Whenever we go on vacation, I spend a ridiculous number of hours watching HGTV (we don’t get that channel at home!) Sometimes it’s my favorite part of the vacation 🙂
Deni says
1. One night a week (Friday), I set aside a little pampering time at home, such as manicure, pedicure, moisturizing, facial etc… I try to rotate these special treatments.
2. Get in the bed early to read or enjoy a favorite show.
3. I wake up earlier than the kids to have prayer, coffee and get ready for my day.
4. Every day after lunch, I take the dogs out and sit in the sun and relax for a few minutes.
5. Go for a walk at the park (it’s wooded).
6. Allow myself one small treat a day 🙂
7. I follow flylady.net, have formed routines to keep my house in order to reduce stress.
Happy Valentines Day!!!
Andrea says
hey — we kind of have the same schedule, except I sit outside with my kids after lunch 🙂 And Michigan is rarely ever sunny, so I sit in the clouds and play with / watch my kids!
Kim says
Happy Valentine’s Day, Andrea! I show myself some love by:
1. Using clean, non-toxic skincare and makeup
2. Eating a healthy diet
3. Ignoring the news (it’s too depressing)
4. Taking time to read a good book
5. Playing with my pets
Leanne says
1. I wake up early nearly every day and spend the first few minutes writing scripture in a composition notebook… reminding myself Who really loves me is the most precious part of my day…
2. I listen to uplifting music
3. I buy myself good quality clothing and ignore the size
4. I moisturize
5. I exercise
6. I do not deny myself chocolate (see #5)
Happy Valentine’s Day, Andrea!!!
Andrea says
love this list! especially #3 and #6 🙂