As I look back over the last decade of my adult life (marriage, motherhood, friends, jobs, running a business, home renovation, church and community involvement, etc.) I’m confident that my efforts to make fewer decisions each day/week/month/year have positively impacted every area of my life… more than I can even begin to calculate.
From meal planning and house cleaning to child training and family traditions — my home, my schedule, my family, and my life are all noticeably simpler, more organized, less chaotic, and more enjoyable because I’ve intentionally made an effort to “decide once” and move on.
This is not to imply that my life is mechanical or robotic or void of any fun — actually, it’s exactly the opposite (in my opinion).
By deciding once, I have SO much more time and energy to enjoy whatever season of life I’m in.
I also have more mental capacity to pour more into my family, my house, my job, and various volunteer opportunities — so it really is a win-win-win-win situation!
Trust me (and keep reading!)
I know examples are helpful, and I’ll give you a whole bunch in just a minute… however, please don’t think that just because we do something it will automatically work for you and your family too.
This is what works for OUR family right now. It might work for you too… or it might not. But, if you’re anything like me, reading examples of what works for someone else will most likely spark a few ideas of something different that WILL end up working for your family.
All that to say, read the following examples with an open mind and try thinking “outside the page”! 😉
Decide Once: FOOD
Food is both a love language and a necessary evil for me.
On any given day, you might find me grinding my own grain, baking up a variety of whole-grain + sourdough goodness, chopping fresh veggies like a mad woman, and serving my children fresh-from-the-oven cookies as they get off the bus.
I love cooking, baking, and recipe creation… but that doesn’t mean there aren’t other days when I set out a bowl of goldfish for the kids and pull a quick meal from the freezer.
Since everyone in my family insists on eating multiple times each day, I’ve made my life a little (actually A LOT) easier by “deciding once”, and then moving on with my day.
How I “decide once” to simplify our meals.
- Despite my lack of enthusiasm for meal planning, I dutifully spend 15-20 minutes every Sunday afternoon planning 7 breakfasts and 7 dinners for the following week based on what food we have in the house, what’s in season, and what our schedule looks like that week (I make sure to plan for leftovers and/or getting pizza — I don’t always cook every meal).
- Back in 2011, I created a simple meal planning system where I pick one Italian recipe, one Mexican, one meat/potatoes, one soup/salad, one casserole, and one breakfast-for-dinner option each week… and I still use this general concept today. We eat lots of variety but I don’t have to reinvent the wheel every week.
- I make extra food on Thursdays and Fridays so I rarely have to think about food prep or cooking over the weekend.
- We eat cereal for breakfast every Tuesday because I have recess duty at the kids’ school and we all need to be out the door on time (I make hot breakfasts the other mornings).
- We have oatmeal and cinnamon rolls almost every Sunday morning and we enjoy a big Charcuterie Board for dinner on Sunday night “movie night”.
- Lunches are either leftovers, sandwiches, or meat/cheese/veggies/fruit.
- The kids know they may have a snack at 10 am and 3 pm — so they (usually) don’t ask for food at other times.
- Thanks to a beautiful new Aldi in our town, I now do 90% of my grocery shopping at Aldi — saving me time, money and so many decisions (I actually love that they have fewer options). I do a monthly-ish Costco run, but everything else is from Aldi, even if I can find it cheaper somewhere else.
Of course, this doesn’t mean we NEVER deviate from the list above.
There are certainly times when I surprise the kids with donuts for breakfast, ice cream cones for an after-school snack, or a special night out at their favorite local pizza buffet.
However, by deciding once on SO many food choices, I’ve simplified my life and alleviated much of the decision fatigue that accompanies meal planning, snack prep, grocery shopping, etc.
Decide Once: CLOTHING
I won’t be surprised if many of you think I’m a little nuts after reading the following paragraphs… but I’m totally cool with that because I get weekly emails from readers bemoaning their disorganized closets and piles of laundry.
I’m not trying to force any systems on you… but I will say that our closets are organized and our laundry never piles up! 🙃
How I “decide once” to simplify our clothing.
- We pick out our clothing the night before — the kids usually sleep in their clothes for the next day (this simplifies our mornings SO much!)
- We have a set number of hangers in each closet, when we run out of hangers, we purge.
- I have donation bins/bags in most closets, so any time we find an item of clothing we don’t love or that doesn’t fit, we immediately toss it into the donation bin.
- I buy all our swimsuits from Lands End so the colors coordinate and we can easily pass things down to the next child.
- We buy the rest of our clothing from thrift stores… I let the kids pick out their own clothes and we usually shop when the stores have “fill a bag for $5” days!
- I don’t have a tiny “capsule wardrobe” but I do stick to specific colors and styles — which makes shopping for clothing and getting dressed so much easier.
- I wear the same earrings and watch every day — not much other jewelry.
- I wear the same pair of boots and the same coat from Fall through Spring (it has a removable liner).
- Our mudroom has specific shelves and hooks for each person’s outerwear so everyone can put their own gear away.
Decide Once: CLEANING
For as long as I can remember, a clean and well-organized home has been at the top of my list of priorities (truthfully, even back in middle school). My surroundings must be neat in order for me to feel like can relax… thankfully, Dave has similar feelings about our home.
Because we value a neat, tidy, and orderly home while raising 4 young children, we’ve intentionally created systems that allow us to KEEP our home fairly clean and organized with minimal extra effort.
How I “decide once” to simplify our cleaning.
- We run the dishwasher EVERY night after dinner — even if it’s not full. This was a huge game-changer for our family. The kids clean out the dishwasher before they go to bed.
- I clean the entire house on Mondays.
- I do all the laundry on Mondays and Thursdays and don’t worry about it the rest of the week.
- I don’t sort laundry!
- Our kids put their clean laundry away and start doing their own laundry at age 10.
- I don’t wash bedding every week.
- I wipe down the bathroom and kitchen counters every night
- We change bathroom and kitchen hand towels and washcloths every morning (after they’ve dried out).
- We pick up the entire house and yard EVERY night before bedtime (it only takes a few minutes with everyone helping). The kids don’t even think to complain because it’s fully ingrained into their normal routine.
- We use a wall filing system for all our incoming papers (the kids know which slot is theirs) and I clean it out once a week.
Decide Once: TRADITIONS
I have a love-hate relationship with traditions… but I suppose I can’t write about reducing decision fatigue and not mention traditions.
First things first, I am not a “Scrooge”. HOWEVER, I’m also not willing to run myself ragged, drag my kids around, and do things I don’t even want to do “just because it’s how we’ve always done it”.
I will be the first one to question the necessity and relevancy of any given tradition, and I am quick to say “no thanks” when a tradition doesn’t fit with our family’s current stage of life (no matter how fun it may have been in past years).
See… totally not a Scrooge! 🤪
How I “decide once” to simplify traditions.
- We let our kids open their Christmas gifts on any random day in December — usually way before Christmas Day so they can spread out their gifts a bit.
- We are totally cool with used and thrift-store gifts.
- Dave and I don’t do gifts for each other (we help the kids get something for the other person because they enjoy giving us gifts.)
- We don’t give gifts to our parents for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or birthdays — just Christmas. We do have the kids make cards.
- We don’t do any gifts for our siblings — just a text message on their birthdays.
- We don’t do Easter baskets, Valentine’s gifts, or anything other than birthday and Christmas gifts for our own children.
- I give a set amount to each child’s “room parent” for the combined Christmas/Birthday/Teacher appreciation gifts for each teacher.
- We give gift cards to almost everyone else (bus driver, piano teacher, Sunday School leaders, etc.)
- We have simple birthday parties for our children (grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins) through ages 6… then we have grandparents over for the child’s favorite dinner.
- They get a party with their friends when they are 7 or 8 (depending on their current class at school)
- I make half cakes for each of their half birthdays
Decide Once: FAMILY LIFE
For those of you who are less “type A” than Dave and I, please know that the list below does not feel like “rigid rules” we must follow.
Instead, deciding once on so many things affords our family MORE freedom because we aren’t constantly discussing, arguing, complaining, or fighting about the same things over and over again.
How I “decide once” to simplify our life.
- The kids all have “assigned seats” in the van and at the dinner table (intentionally chosen so the kids who need more help are by older siblings or adults).
- We keep all library books on a specific shelf in our den. 10 years and 6000+ library books later… we’ve never lost one!
- The kids always take a shower before bed (this keeps the sheets cleaner.)
- They are all in bed by 7:30 / 8:00 and the older ones can read for a bit (we are more relaxed on this in the summertime). They must stay in bed until at least 7:00 each morning.
- The kids know their assigned daily chores and usually do them without much fuss or complaining.
- They watch TV on Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings (movie night!) They don’t have any other electronic devices and it truly hasn’t been an issue because we just decided once and moved on.
- I have a super simple “tax system” that allows me to prepare everything I need for our accountant in roughly 15 minutes each spring.
- I created templates for my digital photo books so I can simply drag and drop pictures in each month — it takes me 15 minutes to do an entire month.
- We have a “no friends” policy on Sunday — mainly because we want our kids to ourselves for a day and our yard is usually the neighborhood hangout.
If I had the time, I could give dozens more examples of small (and big) things we do to reduce the number of decisions we make on a daily and weekly basis.
Each individual example above doesn’t necessarily make a huge difference on its own (although some do), but cumulatively, they all add up over the course of each day, week, month, and year to help our home and our lives run so much smoother.
Each time we choose to “decide once” we are alleviating a bit of decision fatigue and improving the overall mood/tone/feel of our home life.
Once your brain gets out of its decision fatigue rut, you will notice more mental clarity and energy to put towards the people and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment — allowing you to focus on the important without constantly being bogged down by the urgent.
Sound good?
Here’s your next step (just one, OK… not 12).
How to “decide once” to simplify YOUR life.
Look for ONE source of stress in your daily life and figure out if there’s a way you can “decide once” to eliminate (or at least reduce) that stress.
Here are a few ideas:
- Do you hate getting dressed? Reduce your wardrobe to 10 tops and 4 bottoms you feel great wearing and put the rest in boxes for now.
- Do your kids struggle in the morning? Let them sleep in their clothing and decide on an easy breakfast you can make every day until people get tired of it.
- Do you dread dinner time? Make a list of 10 easy meals your family enjoys and you can quickly whip up on a busy weeknight. Rotate those meals for the next month (or more!)
- Are you constantly behind on laundry? Set aside one day to get caught up again and then recruit a child or two to help on specific days each week (seriously, laundry is so easy — especially if you have low standards!)
Essentially, you have two options:
- Continue to feel stressed and overwhelmed by tasks and responsibilities you know you need to do each day… OR
- Take a little extra time today to think through a solution and decide once and be done with the stress and overwhelm of decision fatigue.
I know which option I’d choose!
Catherine says
Thanks for this article! I hadn’t been thinking about it, but your examples helped me realize that decision fatigue is unfortunately a HUGE part of my life. I’m so glad to have ideas for making a change!
Andrea says
You are not alone, Catherine — decision fatigue is part of so many women’s lives!
Liane says
I cracked up reading about sleeping in your clothes (kids version). My daughter attended a private Christian school for all her education. Kindergarten through 8th grade was at a school that required uniforms. No pants for girls. Pleated plaid skirts and white button down blouses with Peter Pan collars. I worked full time (R.N.) and I had a part time household helper / slash baby sitter who ironed those dratted blouses. We had 6 so every Monday the last one went on the child and there were 5 to launder. We learned juice boxes and grape jelly are not compatible with white blouses but somehow I survived those years. I took very good care of her clothes I guess because we’d have an in-school rummage sale every August where outgrown stuff could be sold or traded. Mine were always the first to go. Well, long story short, my daughter’s bestie’s mom was also an R.N. and she did not believe in ironing, stain removal or button replacing. One day when her daughter went to school in a very rumpled skirt and wrinkled blouse her mother was called home to bring a change of clothes. The principal said she looked like she’d slept in her clothes. My friend called me and I took the child a clean blouse.
Now don’t think I’m judging you because I’m not but here’s how this story ends. My daughter to this day won’t leave home without perfect hair makeup etc. She’s a marketing exec who stays in shape with weightlifting and a very carefully regulated diet. Her friend is a bank exec now but is morbidly obese lives in stretch pants and leggings and doesn’t wear a bit of makeup. Her employer never says anything but my daughter bugs her to at least dress like she cares, and tries to help with her not so good food choices. My daughter always maintained that her friend never learned how to be a good clothes keeper. That’s a Martha Stewartism I think. Anyway, watch out. And buy a darn iron LOL.
Stephanie says
This is a great read. As a mom of 3 young children and a full time healthcare workers this article is a great start to get our lives a little more simpler. I would be curious to know more about the chores you have your kiddos do….we struggle with keeping a consistent routine with having the kids help—which makes it harder on us as parents to keep house tidy. Thank you!
Andrea says
Hi Stephanie,
In all honesty, our kids don’t have a ton of “chores”… here are a few things they do every day:
– make their beds every morning
– fold/hang/put away their laundry (I put it in piles for them)
– pick up after themselves and keep their rooms/desks/backpacks neat
– set the table and clear the table before/after meals
– clean out the dishwasher
– pack their snacks for school
– fold socks, napkins, towels, etc.
– water potted plants
– pick up sticks before Dave mows the lawn
– pick up pool/outside toys before coming in
Many of these are not really “chores” in my mind, but rather common-sense to-dos for a family living together. We all need to pick up after ourselves or it will be a mess all the time!
Julie says
Happy 37th Birthday, Andrea!
I hope you had a GREAT day!
May God grant you many more to share with family and friends:)
Andrea says
Thanks so much Julie, it was a very simple day at home — just my style 🙂
Sonja says
Happy Birthday!
Thanks for wonderful content.
JJ says
HaPpY BiRtHdAy to YOU!!! I love the, “Decide Once” mantra! This may just be my word(s) of the year every year now. What a great time and pic you have from boating! James looks so “grown” in this pic! Your hair looks awesome!!!
I thought of what you’d shared in other posts and simplified my day by starting dinner in the slow cooker while making protein muffins for breakfast. The baby was napping(early due to early wakeup), and I felt so accomplished to get two meals going at once. We are not normally “overbooked”(we keep things simple like you), but we have VBS this week. At night. Going to bed waaaaayyyy past my kids’ bedtimes. So we shuffled home from swim class today and ate dinner together like usual. I was able to avoid fast food by preparing.
Thank you for sharing your brain and life with all of us so we can benefit! You are a gift, Andrea!!!
Andrea says
Thanks friend — I appreciate your kind words (and yes, James is looking very grown up lately!)
The hair is still growing… some days are better than others though! It’s definitely at an awkward stage right now!
Cary J Ownby says
Your teeth!! So white and beautiful!! Your secret?!
Andrea says
Thanks 🙂
I don’t drink coffee, tea, wine, or pop — so that probably helps. I also brush them after every meal.
Sharon says
Happy Birthday Andrea!! Wow- I loved this email!:D Thank you for all your examples and suggestions on how we can use the Decide Once principle to simplify our lives and reduce decision fatigue!! Awesome!!
Andrea says
Thanks Sharon 🙂
JoAnn C. says
Happy birthday, Andrea. I hope you have a wonderful day!
Andrea says
Thank you!
Chris says
Happy, happy birthday!
Andrea says
Thanks Chris!
Paulette says
Happy early Birthday, Andrea! reading your blog has always been like a cool drink of water on a hot day! This post literally had a calming effect. Decision fatigue is a real thing. My husband retired at the end of last year and and my schedule has been thrown for a loop. Your post encouraged me to re-examine what will work for us now. Thank you for all your ideas and encouragement!
Andrea says
Thanks so much Paulette 🙂
And yes, something big like a retirement (or in my case, all my children going to school next year) can really throw your routine and schedule for a loop. It’s always a great time evaluate what might need to change.
Bonnie'sMama says
I love this concept and really need to think through more ways to simplify various areas of my home. More kids means so many more decisions and more pieces of information to juggle, so simplifying in every area possible is a really good idea.
I think I need to start with putting together a bunch of outfits which I wash and put back in the closet as a unit. I’m just not creative with outfits, and it makes me tired to keep trying to come up with new and interesting combinations.
Once again, I was amused by that hot pink in your “sober” wardrobe palette . . . And once again, I looked down to see my own outfit–black, white, and hot pink.
Andrea says
gotta love the bright pink accents! Yesterday, I wore a bright pink necklace with a grey button-up and shorts. I got ALL kinds of compliments on my necklace (which was $0.25 from our local thrift store last month!)
Pascale says
Hi Andrea,
Thank you for this great topic. Although we don’t have any children, I’m very much like you. When I became ill in 2005, I was so tired that I could barely get out of bed. That’s when I looked into minimalism and how I could make my life simpler. I did Energy Profiling and discovered what type I was. This helped me tremendously and still does. It helped me in my relationships and in my clothing. Now, everything I have goes together. I also changed the way I stored things. For instance, everything for coffee and tea is stored together so I don’t have to go back and forth to get things. I applied this to everything in my house. I also keep things clutter-free and minimal by getting rid of items that no longer add value to my life. I’ve learned to give myself grace and to accept that when I’m not well, things will not get done and that’s okay. If someone comes to see me and it’s not perfect, it also allows them to have me over to their place when it’s not perfect either.
Andrea says
I’ve found that often times, when I am forced to change (do to illness, finances, another baby, etc) those changes end up creating many positive outcomes I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t forced to make the changes in the first place.
Sounds like you have a pretty good handle on your home and schedule — and I love your outlook on people coming over when your home isn’t perfectly clean!
Pascale says
You’re right, Andrea. Illness forces us to make changes that end up being positive. Thank you for your encouraging words. I’ve come to realize that people come to see me, not my house and my cleaning and tidying skills.
Ruth says
I never even knew there was a name for what I did until the internet popularized it but I wear a uniform. When I find a shirt I like, I buy 5 in black and 5 in white, and I just wear it until I come across something else I like in a few years.
So when I found a dressy t-shirt style top this summer, I bought 6 in black and have worn one every day this summer.
I also only wear jeans, even in the summer. I have one pair of shorts just in case I need it.
I also stopped wearing jewelry other than my wedding rings.
I feel like life can be so much more complicated for women cause of all the things we can do…hair, nails, purses, shoes, makeup, jewelry… it just never stops!
Andrea says
sounds like a good system! And yes, you are not the only one who buys 4-6 of the same shirt when you find one you like!! 😉
Rhonda says
I’ve also reduced a lot of wardrobe decisions over the past few years. I realized when I was pregnant the first time, that when I had maternity clothes (and of course, not many of them), that it was so much easier to get dressed in the morning with less choices. I don’t have a lot of jewelry (mostly because I don’t really like it all that much), and I wear simple outfits to work. Sometimes I look at other women at work and think of how great they look with their variety of cute dresses, different outfits, etc. But then I remind myself of how much time and hassle I save by wearing only a few outfits that are similar! Also a few years ago, I started using a stylist service (Trunk Club), and although the clothes can be on the pricey side (there is a large range of brands, though), I rarely have to go shopping or make a lot of decisions (I purchase mostly classic pieces that can be worn for a long time). I have had 3 stylists over this time (who you can talk to on the phone or email), and they always pick great looking things that I wear a lot. I also un-subscribed from email lists of clothes shopping sites – I would get hooked in by the “sales” and waste time and buy things I didn’t necessarily need. Right now the Trunk Club stylist just checks in with me every 2 or 3 months to see if I “need” anything. They ship a box of 10-15 items to my door, I try things on, and check out on my phone app for anything I don’t want, box it up, order UPS pick up on the app, and leave on my doorstep. So easy! No decisions on which store to stop at, etc.
Andrea says
Thanks so much for sharing about your positive experience with Trunk Club. I’ve never heard of that before, I’m going to check it out today!
Lynn says
Great post Andrea! My life is not as hectic as yours by any means, but I am finding ways to simplify my life. It really does make a difference in how I feel and what I get done!
Andrea says
haha — I honestly don’t think our life is “hectic” but we put a lot of conscious effort into keep things as simple as they can be — otherwise it most likely would feel very hectic at times!
Meghan says
I do all of my grocery shopping from Walmart (online and pick up) and Aldi. Both of these eliminate decision fatigue. Obviously with online grocery shopping, I don’t have to browse to find what I need. And Aldi has minimal brands and varieties of things.
I also wear the same earrings every day. Diamond studs my husband surprised me with at Christmas when I was pregnant with my daughter. He really didn’t think I’d wear them every day, but I love it! I read if you leave studs in 24/7 in stretches out the earring holes. I used to try to take them out a couple times a week, but that’s not happening much anymore.
Andrea says
I wear diamond studs from Dave in my 2nd earring hole… and since they are fairly small studs, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if they are stretching out my earring hole. Sometimes, in the morning, the whole stud is shoved into my earring hole. For that reason, I’ve thought of taking them out… but I never do!
Mary Ann says
This is so true and something I’ve thought a lot about lately. At the beginning of the summer, I put together 5 outfits to wear to work. I dress simply—mostly a maxi skirt and a top. It gets so HOT here in the South so I wanted outfits I didn’t have to layer for the most part. I hung outfits on hangers and just pull one out each day. It has been wonderful—no thinking required! When doing laundry, I just put the outfits back together again. One night a week is super hectic; we had been getting takeout or eating out but that required a decision and ended up running so late. I got a great deal on frozen pizzas at the end of July so I got enough for each week of August—we’ll pull out a pizza on that hectic night. The end. No thinking about what we’re going to eat!
Andrea says
Such awesome examples — I love that you wore 5 work outfits every week (SMART!)
I go through phases where I want lots of clothing options, and then other phases where I purge to the minimum and wear the same things over and over and over again!
Also, we almost always do frozen pizza on Sunday nights (for this very reason). We want something quick and easy before another week starts… plus, we usually have a bigger meal on Sunday afternoon!
Chris says
I’ve been realizing how having so many things and options is stressful. I am trying to use up “unusual” things in my pantry and want to start just eating more simply. I thought of you the other day, Andrea. 🙂 I wanted to pass along my thoughts. I know you enjoy meal delivery service for dates. I have done them a few times too. But a relative had surgery so I had my husband stop at a local place that sells meals already made, to buy her family something. He also ended up buying us something. It was SO good and much, much cheaper than a meal delivery service that I didn’t have to spend prepping and cooking and cleaning up. You may be interested since you love staying home so much (if you have something similar locally) but then you wouldn’t have to do the work. 🙂 Have a blessed day!
Andrea says
Thanks Chris! And yes, our new Meijer store offers more of these types of meals (even sushi one day a week). We might have to utilize them more once school starts up again!